Today's show 31/05/11

Hi Vanessa!

Remember me? I'm the guy who dissects the stories (I hesitate to use the word "news" as it isn't really news, is it?) every day just to prove to myself and anybody who cares to read my blog (http://lunchtimeloather.blogspot.com/, and rapidly approaching 3000 page views) why the Jeremy Vine Show is completely pointless. One day, I hope, somebody from Radio 2 will say to themselves, "You know, he is right, this programme achieves nothing and does not belong on Radio 2, and certainly not in the middle of the day". Until that happens I will continue to criticise and ridicule the programme. However, I am known for my patience.

My recollection from last time that you stood in for Jeremy was that the show actually got worse. Had I not heard it with my own ears I would never have thought that to be possible. So let's see if you have any good reasons at all for me to continue listening to Radio 2 at 12 o'clock...

It is interesting that today you have chosen three stories from national newspapers, but not one from Jeremy's favourite member of The Dead Tree Press Preservation Society : The Daily Mail. The latest ABC circulation figures (http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/story.asp?sectioncode=1&storycode=47114) make interesting reading, as they always do, as the slow and inexorable death of the printed press continues. One day they will all be gone, so you best steal as many stories as you can while they are still around. Jeremy has a slightly different way of finding stories, as he just looks in the Daily Mail and if nothing takes his fancy there a quick visit to the BBC News > England web page usually suffices to fill the show.

1) FIFA CORRUPTION ALLEGATIONS - The Fifa president Sepp Blatter insists his organisation is not in crisis amidst corruption allegations that the 2022 World Cup final was "bought" for Qatar and claims about a suitcase stuffed with cash : I think you are confusing me with someone who is interested in football. I played football when I was at school 30-odd years ago, and hated it. I have never been to a football match, and I am not aware of watching a whole match on TV. This is of absolutely no interest to me and is not a good start to today's show. Next...

2) NINETY-FIVE PER CENT MORTGAGE - As more young people expect to rent for longer, is a 95 per cent mortgage for first-time buyers the answer? Find out more in this Telegraph article (daily readership 640,000, down 6.4% in the last year) : I have no idea, and this story has absolutely no relevance to me at all. It's not looking good. Next...

3) WEEKLY BIN COLLECTIONS - Reports say that the government will give councils cash incentives to restore weekly bin collections. Find out more in this Independent article (daily readership 181,000, down 4% in the last year) : Here in Gwynedd we have a weekly bin collection that alternates between household waste and garden waste. We are provided with good quality bins in which to store rubbish between collections. Collections occur every Monday morning, including bank holidays, and it all works rather well for me. As you will appreciate, I am struggling to find any relevance to this story. Next...

4) ANTI-PAEDO SCHOOL UNIFORM - And a school in Glasgow has asked parents to dress their children in baggy clothes to deter paedophiles. Find out more in this Metro article : Now, I believe the Metro is that free newspaper that is handed out in large conurbations, but I'll be honest and say that I have no idea where I would get a copy from here in rural North Wales. Also, and being free, its circulation figures do not appear on the ABC report so we cannot gain any accurate insight in to just how popular it is. I do know that it is published by Associated Newspapers, who also publish the good old Daily Mail, and that probably says more about it than anything else. As for the story, well we don't have any children at that school in Glasgow so it is of no relevance to me.

So, Radio 2 loses another listener as I'm off to 6 Music.

More tomorrow!

Today's show 27/05/11

A sunny day here in North Wales today, but the outlook for the weekend is looking increasingly dismal.

Talking of dismal, let's look at today's offerings:

1) RATKO MLADIC - The former Bosnian Serb commander, Ratko Mladic, has been arrested on suspicion of war crimes, but is the UN partly culpable for some of the worst atrocities carried out in Bosnia? : It is good that they got him, and nice that it coincided with the visit of EU Foreign Policy chief Catherine Ashton to Belgrade to discuss Serbia's admission to the EU (http://www.sofiaecho.com/2011/05/25/1095210_eu-foreign-policy-chief-ashton-visiting-serbia-and-kosovo). Sceptics might say that that is more than a coincidence. Anyway, I've never been to Serbia, and have no plans to go. Next...

2) SHARON SHOESMITH - Sharon Shoesmith, the former head of social services in Haringey Council, has won her Court of Appeal battle over her sacking after the Baby P tragedy : Listening to your trail on Ken's show I was waiting for you to say "... and our studio guest is Ed Balls". Alas, those words never came. Next...

3) CAMPING - 'All the gear, but no idea.' What do first time campers need to know? : I last went camping in Scotland in 1979, so unfortunately I don't qualify as a first time camper. Next...

4) TERRY WALTON - We speak to Terry Walton on the official Jeremy Vine Show allotment: Ahhhh... sound effects gardening. Bless.

Today's show 26/05/11

My apologies for being a bit late today ... but a late egg and bacon breakfast was far too important and interrupted my usual routine.

Before we look at today's menu there are some other points of interest today...

Do you have any idea what the most important thing that happened in Wales yesterday might have been? Well, according to our 6:30 BBC TV news programme "Wales Today" it was that BBC Wales may be facing financial cutbacks. This was the LEAD ITEM on this prime time viewing programme. Nothing that happened here today was more important than the possibility (and it is only that) that some BBC Wales staff could be losing their jobs. See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-13541158 for more details. The number of times per week that Wales Today manages to report anything from North Wales can be counted on one foot of a three-toed sloth. Nothing north of Aberystwyth usually, and it is not known as "South Wales Today" around here for nothing. All a little incestuous, don't you think?

Going back to yesterday's show, and the discussion on volcanic ash, did you hear the 5pm news on Radio 2 yesterday evening? It featured an interview/recording of volcano expert Dr Clive Oppenheimer of Cambridge University giving his opinion of what could happen to an aircraft jet engine. He said, "The only problem with ash is that it can re-melt inside an engine which is obviously very bad news if you've got molten lava slopping around in an engine". This statement flies in the face of all other evidence of jet engine damage that has been disseminated to the UK public by the press and broadcasters, including the BBC. The ash does indeed melt when heated by the engine, and it then coats the turbine blades, inner surfaces and engine sensors with a glass-like coating, and so reducing the engine's efficiency and viability. There is also the potential for simple abrasion damage as the ash passes through the engine turbines and combustion chambers. I found Dr Oppenheimer's email address and challenged him about his statement and he quickly replied at some length, but opened with this sentence: "I am guilty of hyperbole talking about molten lava in an engine.". So, he made it up. Frankly, I am surprised that somebody of his standing should promote such misinformation. Frankly too, I am not surprised that the BBC grasped his comments with open arms as they attempted to increase the level of sensationalist and hysterical tosh that they are peddling to the public in the name of "fact".

Continuing on this theme, and according to the BBC this piece of complete b0ll0cks is what we should be believing, apparently: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8632572.stm. At 01:15 Mr Stansfield says "The hottest part of a jet engine gets to 1500 degrees", presumably Celsius and which I would consider to be reasonably accurate. However, in the demonstration he is clearly using an oxy-acetylene cutting torch, as used for cutting steel, and with his "let's give this a bit more oxygen" comment he raises the temperature to over 3000 degrees - double what he said happened in a jet engine.  Moving on, he then trains the gas torch flame on one of the dummy turbine blades, but he has failed to reproduce the behaviour of a jet engine as the blades shown are not rotating. This causes the turbine blade to become red hot. Never, never, never does the turbine blade in a jet engine become red hot. At only 1500 degrees there is simply insufficient temperature for this to happen. This is utter tosh from start to end.

Is it any wonder why I treat BBC "news" with such suspicion? I guess if you keep feeding the public rubbish then somebody, somewhere might start to believe it. In the meantime, we should all keep a lookout for jet aircraft dropping molten lava on us.

Right, on to today's stuff...

1) PARACHUTE REGIMENT CUTS - The Ministry of Defence wants to cut the special allowance that goes to members of the parachute regiment, if they're no longer parachuting : The misconception being put forward here is that the UK will have NO parachuting capability, yet the BBC news page that you link to says "... the SAS - of which more than 50% are Paras - parachuted in the Falklands, as well as more recently into Baghdad". I get paid for what I do, and not what I don't do. Next...

2) BALL GAMES - A fifteen year old who broke a neighbour's greenhouse with his ball, was pursued by police, a helicopter and thermal imaging equipment. Some say the police over-reacted, but have you been plagued by children playing ball games and not had it taken seriously by the police? : And bring on the Daily Mail! I can't think of a better place for publicising this catalogue of over-reactions. Next...

3) POLLUTED BEACHES - Many of Britain's beaches are still polluted by sewage. Have you ever been on a beach and been poisoned by sewage? : No, I haven't. I got some oil on my foot about 40 years ago, does that count? Next...

4) GOOSE ATTACK - Have you ever been attacked by a goose? A retired dentist is recovering with a broken leg after a goose attacked him on his quad bike : No, I haven't. So, let's get this straight... The goose was defending its territory after an incursion by a person on foot, so was provoked. The retired dentist (is that important?) decided that the quickest way to get away was to climb on to his quad bike, start the engine and drive off. Why this was quicker than running or walking briskly remains a mystery. The dentist then suffered a broken leg after crashing his quad bike in to a tree, which was due to his apparent inability to drive it. It sounds quite different now, doesn't it? Perhaps the headline should be: MAN DRIVES QUAD BIKE IN TO TREE, BREAKS LEG. Known for its (reasonably) accurate reporting, I can only assume that the goose shown in the Telegraph's photo is the actual one that attacked the dentist. I read that the geese are OK, but what about the tree? As for the dentist: I couldn't care less.

I see that you featured in an article in The Guardian on Tuesday: http://www.guardian.co.uk/tv-and-radio/2011/may/24/radio-review-jeremy-vine
I loved the first comment, and could not have put it better myself.

Today's show 25/05/11

I'm busy today serving the needs of my valued customers, so briefly...

 

1) RYANAIR - Ryanair boss Michael O'Leary has condemned the caution of the Civil Aviation Authority in stopping him from flying his planes through the volcanic ash. Should he be allowed to fly if he wants to? Jeremy talks to Stephen Bath; Bath Travel : I have no idea but note that a lot of Ryanair flights in and out of Bremen today are cancelled, so it seems that his issues are not just with the UK CAA but the German equivalent too. I would love to hear you interview Mr O'Leary. I am a big fan of his and just love his interviewing style and the way he gives his interviewer grief. I would drop everything to listen to Jeremy Vine vs Michael O'Leary, but unfortunately it doesn't sound like he will be on your show today. Next...

 

2) A 'SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP'? - President Obama will today address Parliament in Westminster Hall and praise what he calls the 'special relationship' between Britain and America, which has now become the 'essential relationship'. Do you still believe in the 'special relationship'? : In response to your plea on Ken's show: I DON'T CARE! Next...

 

3) SCOTTISH SECTARINISM - As the Scottish Government contemplates a new law: Has sectarianism between the Protestant and the Catholic communities in Scotland become worse than sectarianism in Northern Ireland? : Is this another "My God is better than your God" argument? Religion, don't you just love it. Next...

4) FACELIFT COMPENSATION - And finally, the woman who got £6 million compensation for a facelift operation that went wrong. Some people are saying she didn't deserve a penny : Whatever....

 

Right, back to work, and 6 Music.

Today's show 24/05/11

Unusual, don't you think, for Tuesday to be a slow news day ... but it seems to be the case today:

1) VOLCANIC ASH CLOUD - As another Icelandic volcano spews out its ash, we get the latest on the grounded planes in Scotland and how the ash has turned daytime into night in Iceland itself : Unfortunate. File under "these things happen". Next...

2) PARENTS IN PYJAMAS - Head teachers in Middlesbrough have told parents not to drop off their children while still wearing pyjamas. Jeremy talks to Chris Wain; Headteacher of Pallister Park Primary school and BBC reporter Andy Bell : While I can understand you talking to the Headteacher (is that really just one word these days, and not Head Teacher?), the input from Mr Bell will probably be pointless. This seems to be the trend now with news reporting, in that rather than talking to the people involved or who know exactly what is going on, reporters now just talk to each other. I guess it is a cheap way of filling news bulletins, but only with opinion and conjecture rather than fact. It is odd too that you only chose to cover these happenings when they started happening in England, as it was FOUR YEARS AGO that similar dress behaviour was reported by the BBC in Northern Ireland (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/6735455.stm). Today then I will be awarding you "Only In England" and "Non-News Twaddle" stars for this item. Next...

3) SHALE GAS - America's found the answer to its energy needs – one hundred years worth of shale gas. We're now drilling for it too. But is it safe and environmentally friendly? : I had to laugh at this from your linked news page: "Some householders claim that shale gas leaking into their drinking supply causes tap water to ignite.". Yeah, right, of course it does. Shale gas that is "10,000 feet underground" percolates nearly two miles up through the earth's crust and then miraculously performs some kind of ion transfer process that allows it to pass through metal or plastic pipes holding water under pressure and burst in flames out of water taps with no source of ignition. Sorry Jeremy, this is complete rubbish but indicative of the standards of reporting in the UK today. Mr Harrabin could have given his piece some credibility by asking "How does this happen?" but he chose not to, so I can only assume that he has made it up. Anyway, I've just sent him an email asking for his explanation, and miraculously I've just had a reply! He tells me: "Many share your incredulity.". I challenged him again with: "So you made it up then? No facts, no news!", and his reply was "No that's silly". Well, doesn't that say it all! Sensationalism rules Harrabin's article and hard facts are somewhat lacking, and unfortunately I would expect you to take the same approach, so I see no point in listening. Next...

4) RYAN GIGGS - We're joined by Liberal Democrat MP John Hemming, who named Ryan Giggs in the Commons yesterday, as the footballer who allegedly had the affair with Imogen Thomas : Ryan Giggs? He's a professional footballer, I think, and not one of the prettiest. As for Imogen Thomas, perhaps she should have gone to SpecSavers. Zzzzzz.....

Today's show 23/05/11

A very wet and windy day here in North Wales today, so let's so what delights you have that might just take my mind off the weather...

1) PRIVACY LAWS - Many of today's newspapers say that privacy laws are a farce, as Twitter users circumvent the injunction over the identity of the footballer. However, we talk to three people who praise our privacy laws : Hmmm... "Many of today's newspapers" says it all. Newspapers, a.k.a. The Dead Tree Press ... who cares what they think? I know that I certainly do not, and I would not give one jot if they all vanished tomorrow. Hopefully, and in my life time, the newspaper as we currently have it will vanish from our lives, and so save the earth's resources in the process. As for the Twitter/privacy thing, well don't you think it strange how the “uncontrolled” Internet is applauded when used against established governments in other parts of the world, but is not when used for a far more trivial purposes here? I do. Next...

2) IRISH ANCESTRY - As Barack Obama arrives in Ireland, birthplace of his great, great, great, great, grandfather, do you know people who exaggerate their Irish ancestry? And why do people do it? : No, I don't know anybody who exaggerates their Irish ancestry, and I have no idea why they would do that. The only people I know with an Irish ancestry are Irish people. But that misses your point, doesn't it? Next...

3) CHRISTIAN GP REPRIMANDED - A doctor faces disciplinary action after allegedly preaching Christianity to one of his patients : Had I been under treatment by this particular GP and had objected to his line of conversation then I could have told him quite simply to "Shut up", or similar. Alternatively, I might have engaged him in an argument or discussion about the virtues of Christianity, and wasted a whole load of his time, and mine. Move along, nothing to see or talk about here. Next...

4) PET RABBITS - Finally, rabbits are Britain's third favourite pet. Why would anybody keep, what Woody Allen describes as a 'rodent', as a pet? : Errr... because they can? It goes to show that Woody Allen knows nothing too, as rabbits are not rodents, and I've never liked his films. A similar question could be: Why would anybody want to listen to, what the LunchTimeLoather blogger describes as 'rubbish', the Jeremy Vine Show? People, eh? Will we ever understand them?

Guess what ... it is still raining.

Today's show 20/05/11

Anything of interest today? Let's take a look...

1) SIR FRED GOODWIN - Part of the injunction against Sir Fred Goodwin has been lifted, following the speech by Lord Stoneham in parliament yesterday. He claimed this is not 'tittle tattle', the public have a right to know, because as the head of one of Britain's biggest banks that subsequently collapsed, the affair with another employee, would have affected his ability to do his job. However, we talk to someone who says having an affair has no effect on your ability to do your job and it's none of our business : As a self-employed sole-trader I am struggling to think of who I could have an affair with as I don't seem to have any employees. The construction of that second sentence is dreadful, with too many commas. I think it should read "He claimed this is not 'tittle tattle' and the public have a right to know because, as the head of one of Britain's biggest banks that subsequently collapsed, the affair with another employee would have affected his ability to do his job" and even then there is scope for further improvement. So whose business is an affair? Mine? Well, I would have to overcome my complete lack of interest first. The Meeja? No, but they will make it their business anyway. Next...

2) AN EYE FOR AN EYE - A woman in Iran who was blinded by a man in an acid attack after turning down his offer of marriage, demanded her right for justice and retribution under Muslim Sharia Law, by having the state blind her attacker with acid. Dominic Lawson says "What's wrong with 'an eye for an eye' and the punishment fitting the crime?" : A tragic story, but should I know who Dominic Lawson is? Hang on... <Googles "Dominic Lawson">. Oh, he's a Dead Tree Press journalist. In my mind this makes him a complete non-entity and his opinion is of no consequence or interest to me. Next...

3) IS THE BOOK SHOP DEAD? - The book shop Waterstone's is up for sale and now twice as many people are choosing electronic books over the traditional hardback, on the internet retailer Amazon. We talk to someone who says the book shop will never die : I've just checked the Waterstone's web site and have found that my nearest store is about 50 miles away. I'm not sure I have ever been in one, to be honest. I *love* books and have a large library of my favourites. Fortunately we have an excellent book shop in a nearby town and they can - and do - obtain anything that I want, and ebay and Amazon have a role to play in my book purchasing too. Being of a somewhat specialist nature most (all?) of the books I would want have never been and will probably never be published in an electronic format. Oh, and the comma in the first sentence is not needed and could cause misinterpretation. Not deliberate, was it? Next...

4) SPEEDING IN SWINDON - In Swindon, in a pilot study, they're replacing speed camera's with traffic lights. So if you're speeding you'll come up against a red traffic light : Where Slough leads, Swindon follows. A similar scheme was used in Slough 40 years ago. A stretch of road had a 30mph limit (if I remember correctly) and there were traffic lights every 100 yards or so. If you did 30mph then you would get green lights all the way. Any faster then you would get a red light every time. I'm not sure how or why Swindon reckon this is a pilot scheme when it has been done before, but there you go, and Swindon is a long way from here.

That'll be a "No" then. I'm surprised you didn't use this story today: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-13454160

UPDATE: Email received from JV: "We were tempted".

Today's show 19/05/11

It is a deligtful sunny day here in North Wales today, and following all of the recent rain we have had here perhaps I should go in to the garden and cut the grass. It could certainly do with it. Alternatively I might want to stay in and listen to your programme, so can you tempt me today?

 

1) KEN CLARKE - Ken Clarke, Justice Secretary got into trouble yesterday for suggesting that some types of rape are more serious than others. We talk to someone that says that the effect of rape on the victim is always devastating, and somebody else who says that Ken Clarke might just be right : I didn't hear Mr Clarke's interview on Radio 5, but we have all had occasions when we knew what we meant to say but we didn't say what we meant, including your good self. However, and according to the New Statesman, Mr Clarke appears to be safe in his post thanks to personal intervention by Ed Miliband (http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/the-staggers/2011/05/clarke-miliband-labour-policy), so that was a result for one of them at least. Fortunately I don't have any experience of rape, and I'm not sure that this is the kind of thing that I want - or need - to listen to today, thank you. Next...

 

2) CYCLE HELMETS - Should cycle helmets be made compulsory? Do they make a difference anyway, and if they were made compulsory would this stop people from cycling? : I don't own a bike and I haven't ridden one since the days when childrens' playground surfaces were made of good old-fashioned concrete. On that basis, I feel totally unqualified to answer your questions, and this whole item is of no interest to me. Next...

3) BRITAIN'S DROUGHT - Much of Britain is suffering from a drought. Some places have had only 10% of the usual rainfall in the last two months. Are you somebody who's loving it or hating? : Is this a BBC-sponsored man-made global warming tosh discussion? I suspect it will turn in to one. I live in North Wales where we have our own micro-climate. Common perception is that "it always rains in Wales" but it is simply not true. It is a misconception generated by visitors to the area during the summer months of July and August when, it is true, it chucks it down most of the time. For example, last year we had a relatively dry April, May and June, but come 1st July the heavens opened and it didn't stop until towards the end of August. There were a few nice days, and only a few that caused us to think "Let's go to the beach", even though it is only a few miles away. This years seems to be going much the same way, but May has definitely been wetter and colder than last year. I remember the summer of 1976 well, but the UK has a much better water infrastructure now than it did then so comparisons are fairly meaningless. So, do I love it or hate it? Hmmm... I'll go for your as usual unpublished middle option of "Not Bothered". Next...

 

4) STEPHEN LAWRENCE - Two men will now face trial for the murder of Stephen Lawrence. As a result of his killing, many things in Britain have changed. For the better, or for the worse? : I have no idea, but I am sure that the judicial system will take its course. Again, this is not the kind of lunchtime listening I am looking for today.

 

Time to get my lawn mower out, I think.

Today's show 18/05/11

Remember your interview with Howard Schultz from Starbucks last week. How could we ever forget? There are pages and pages of stuff about it on the www, including http://s358852369.websitehome.co.uk/2011/05/16/how-can-anyone-actually-hate-starbucks/ ("Schultz did a good job of defending his company ... I was sufficiently impressed with Mr Schultz that I’ve ordered the book that he was plugging") and http://starbucksmarkdavid.com/2011/05/12/howard-schultz-on-bbc-radio/ ("Jeremy Vine's disrespectful and attacking interview skills left me thinking how rude and utterly uneducated he is on his interview subjects"). Anyway, after I had used iPlayer to listen to it I sent an email to the Starbucks press office and asked if they would pass on my thanks and congratulations to Mr Schultz for his fine performance. This morning I received a letter from them and enclosed with it was a pre-paid Starbucks store card, which was very kind of them and completely unexpected. I don't drink coffee, but my wife does and she loves Starbucks coffee so this will see good use on future visits to England. So, thanks to Starbucks for their generosity, and thanks to you for the opportunity to get something for nothing!

On to today's treats:

1) THE QUEEN PAYS HOMAGE TO THOSE WHO FOUGHT FOR IRISH INDEPENDENCE - It's the second day of the Queen's historic visit to Ireland. Yesterday, she paid homage to those who fought for Irish independence against the British. There will be more of the same today. Is there a danger she's having her nose rubbed in it? : I have no idea. She is doing her job, and like everybody else she has good days and bad days while at work. She'll get over it. I wonder if she likes Starbucks coffee...? Next...

2) FUSSY EATERS - One in five Brits have never even tried an olive. Are we a nation of fussy eaters? Are you a fussy eater who's ashamed of being fussy? : Is this news? I've never knowingly eaten an olive, but as one who thinks that salad served with a steak occupies valuable chip space I am no more fussy an eater than any vegetarian. I am picky with my food and I have most of the characteristics of a supertaster (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supertaster) and this can cause difficulties at times. Generally, the more ingredients in a meal the less likely I am to enjoy it. However, I am not ashamed of being fussy so this is of no interest to me. Next...

3) INFLATION VERSUS UNEMPLOYMENT - Inflation rises to 4.5% but unemployment is still lower than many feared. We debate what's worse, inflation versus unemployment : Blimey, that first sentence took some thinking about. Use of the word "expected" rather than "feared" would have made it clearer. I lived and worked through the rampant inflation of the 1970s and we have nothing like that at the moment, so frankly this all sounds a bit dull. Next...

4) THE FIRST FEW DAYS IN JAIL - And finally, Dominique Strauss-Kahn is incarcerated in the notorious Rikers prison in New York. If you've been to jail, how much of a shock were the first few days? : Can you guess? I haven't been to jail.

Today's show 17/05/11

Tuesday, and let's see what delights you have in store for your listeners today:

1) THE QUEEN'S FIRST VISIT TO THE REPUBLIC OF IRELAND - The Queen starts an historic visit to Ireland today. Should she apologise for what some Irish Republicans still regard as seven hundred years of oppression by the English crown? : Oooohhh... a vote. Somewhere somebody is sweating over a keyboard as they write the Queen's "Hello, I'm here" speech...

Script Writer 1: Which one are you doing, the one with the apology, or the one without?

Script Writer 2: Oh, I don't know. Which would you prefer to do?

SW1: Well, we don't know yet if we have got to include the apology.

SW2: Hmmm... so the one without will need a bit of padding to fill the time.

SW1: You're right there.

SW2: OK... I'll do the one without the apology as I'm good at waffle.

SW1: Doh! I'll do the apology then. I'll put Radio 2 on so I can listen to Jeremy Vine.

SW2: How do you know he is talking about this today? His web page is never updated until 11:30 - at the earliest.

SW1: You're wrong there, updated by 10:45 today, and yes, he is. He will give me some idea of what to write.

SW2: Does he also get to decide which speech Her Maj will use?

SW1: Of course!

SW2: One of us is wasting our time today....

2) OVERSEAS AID PLEDGE CHALLENGED - In a letter that's been leaked to The Times, the Defence Secretary Liam Fox tells David Cameron that the government shouldn't enshrine in law a target to spend 0.7% of our national income on foreign aid : Mr Fox is entitled to his opinion, and to express it to the Prime Minister. Somehow I don't think that either of them will be listening to your programme today, so your discussion today will not change anything. Next...

3) HAS YOUR TEENAGER EVER DISCOVERED YOUR PORNOGRAPHY? - At one o'clock, has your teenage child discovered pornography in your bedroom and if so, did it have a detrimental effect? : Mmmm... lunchtime porn. And the point of this is what, exactly? We don't have a teenage child, so this is of no relevance to me. Next...

4) SURROGATE MOTHER OF SIX CHILDREN - And finally, we talk to a woman who's been a surrogate mother six times. She's pregnant again. Why does she do it? : I have no idea, or interest, but in a similar vein how about these suggestions:

 - And finally, we talk to a man who runs a radio phone-in about so-called news topics that are anything but news. He's on again today. Why does he do it?

Or

 - And finally, we talk to a man who emails a radio programme every day just to tell them why he won't be listening. He's done it again today. Why does he do it?

Perhaps the answer in all three cases is "Because I can".

Huey Morgan is sitting in for Lauren Laverne on 6 Music this week but I'm not a great fan of the music that he plays, so it will be CDs from 12 until 1pm.

UPDATE: Rent-a-Mouth George Galloway was used to fill air time in the first item today. I have no doubt his pearls of wisdom were as unique as ever.

Today's show 16/05/11

Another week, and can't you tell it is Monday...

1) SPEEDING POINTS - As Liberal Democrat Chris Huhne furiously denies he got his wife to take his speeding points — have you ever done that? Or done it for someone else? : I have never been stopped for speeding, so the answers to your questions are "No" and "No". There is some interesting stuff about this on Guido Fawkes's web site at http://order-order.com/2011/05/15/libdem-source-defends-huhne/ but I suspect that this is a bit too near the knuckle for the BBC, unless you are feeling brave today? Next...

2) IMF CHIEF ACCUSED OF RAPE - The French head of the IMF and socialist candidate for presidency is arrested in New York after allegedly trying to rape a chambermaid. Some in France are asking 'Was he set up?' : And presumably some in France are also saying "Good, they got him", while the vast majority will be saying "Who?". I had never even heard of Mr Strauss-Kahn until yesterday, and I'd bet that he has never heard of me, so let's keep it that way. I wonder if a French radio station is discussing Huhne's speeding points today. Somehow I think not. Next...

3) NHS REFORM - NHS reforms — time to put the brakes on, or do we need them more than ever? : The first sentence on your linked BBC news page tells me all I need to know: "David Cameron will try to rally support for planned changes to the NHS in England, in a speech to health staff.". The important words are, of course, "in England". England, not Wales where I live, or Scotland or Northern Ireland. So, I have no need to listen to this. Next...

4) HINDHEAD TUNNEL - A tunnel has been built under the Devil's Punchbowl beauty spot in South East England. It’s the longest in Britain and it was open to walkers at the weekend — is that how you spent your Sunday? : No, I didn't, but I have walked through a tunnel. The words "South East England" tell me that this is a story that just had to be covered by you today, but unfortunately it is a long, long way from here.

Today's show 13/05/11

My sincere apologies to all of my blog readers for the late posting of this message. This was due to the blogger.com website being shut down due to technical problems. At least, that is what it said.

Normal service has been resumed...

It is 12:05 and your web page has not been updated yet, so what can I do to fill the waiting time? Oh, I know, I can tell you about an article that was in the Daily Telegraph a couple of days ago. It can be found here http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/davidhughes/100087445/the-bbc-reports-the-news-%E2%80%93-just-as-long-as-it-suits-its-agenda/#disqus_thread and is headed "The BBC reports the news – just as long as it suits its agenda". This is a view that I have held for a long time and again it raises the question of a so-called state broadcaster funded by taxation of the state's population (also known as the Television Licence Fee) that then only broadcasts the news that it feels is relevant. The BBC Complaints Department has told me many times that the BBC and its reporters are impartial, but they seem to be the ONLY people who actually believe that to be the case these days. I guess it is inevitable that the BBC are reluctant to investigate this. I still think it would make a cracking topic for your show.

12:11 and still no web page update ... shall I come back when it is more convenient?

<10 minutes later...>

Oh, here we go...

1) NAZI DEATH CAMP - It’s taken decades to get John Demjanjuk convicted for his role in killing 28,000 Jews in a Nazi death camp. In his defence, he says he was a Ukranian prisoner of war and had no option but to participate : Hmmm... interesting stuff. I note your spelling of "Ukranian". The rest of us spell it correctly as "Ukrainian". Next...

2) PAYING FOR THE PLAYGROUND - Wandsworth council in South London has brought in a £2.50 admission fee for one of its playgrounds. They say it's justified because of the cuts : We don't have children, and we don't live in Wandsworth, so this is of no interest or relevance to me. It also falls very squarely in to radio for London and the South East. I am left wondering of what interest this could be to your other listeners in, say, The Hebrides, or Cornwall, or here in North Wales. Next...

3) MARTIN LEWIS: MONEY SAVING EXPERT - Money Saving Expert Martin Lewis joins us after one. Our topic — did your debts, or your partner’s, trigger a mental breakdown? : I have the greatest respect for Martin and what he does, and his only Black Mark in my book is that he appears on your programme. And I never knew he was a psychologist. Next....

4) TERRY WALTON - And finally, Terry Walton on the official allotment, planting brussels sprouts and the symbol of Wales, the leek : Oh good, he's back. My wife is the gardener here and she grew sprouts and leeks last year. What a shame that she is at work! As for me, the only thing that I grow in the garden is grass.

Today's show 12/05/11

Thanks for calling yesterday, it was good to talk to you and exchange views.

I'm very busy today but I've just taken a look at today's menu:

1) THE FIRST TELEVISED DEATH - For the first time on British television, we watch a man dying and taking his very last breath. Some people say it's a step too far. We speak to his vicar, who says it will help us all understand the meaning of death.

2) BURGLARY SENTENCES - Should all burglars automatically go to jail, or are there cases that don't warrant prison? Should Judges still be able to have some flexibility?

3) GERRY AND KATE MCCANN - We speak to Kate and Gerry McCann. How do they cope with the abduction of their child? They tell us why they want the authorities in Portugal and Britain to have a fresh look at the case.

4) STATION TICKET OFFICE CLERK SACKED - Lastly, a station ticket office clerk from Lymington in the New Forest, with an exemplary record is sacked for taking a shopping trolley off a live rail and breaking health and safety rules.

To be honest, I cannot think of anything to say other than that none of today's topics are of any interest to me at all. Normally the words flow from my fingers to the keyboard without much thought, but that is just not happening today and I just have not got the time to think about what I should say.

So, I'm going to give us both a day off!

Normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

A phone call from the man himself!

Following my second tirade today, I was pleasantly surprised to receive a phone call from Jeremy Vine. We spoke for about 10 minutes and had a frank and honest exchange of views but conducted with courtesy and respect for each other's view point.

I would like to thank Jeremy for calling me, which reminded me that it is only his programme that I hate, and not the man himself.

Today's show 11/05/11 - Part 2

Readership of my blog went ballistic today, thanks to your Starbucks item. Most of the readers had found it due to doing a Google search for "Jeremy Vine Starbucks", which at 14:45 this afternoon showed my blog TWICE above your own web page. See attached screenshot if you don't believe me.

One of the searches shown in my blog's traffic analysis was "jeremy vine gets owned by starbucks man". Now this made me curious, and so I've just had a quick listen on iPlayer. "Owned by Starbucks man" is indeed an accurate description! You were hopeless, and a million miles away from the "A broadcaster at the top of his trade, with intimate knowledge of his subject" accolade used by the Sony Radio Academy.

There were many instances of sub-standard interviewing but the best one was when Howard Schultz explained that Starbucks IS a global brand and does not attempt to hide that fact. You obviously did not hear this as you then immediately accused him of saying the exact opposite! He accused you, rightly, that "You are putting words in my mouth".

I just *LOVE* it when somebody stands up to you!

And good for him for refusing to do your stupid and contrived Taste Test. I do a Radio Test each lunchtime, and I can easily spot the crap that eminates from Radio 2 between 12 and 2, as compared with 6 Music for example. What's my point? There isn't one. And there was no point in your Taste Test either.

You said, "Our listeners are allowed to have a point of view". Are they Jeremy? Are they really? Or are they only allowed to have a point of view that coincides exactly with your own personal agenda?

I don't drink coffee but I will now always remember that Starbucks is my favourite coffee chain - because they gave you a good hiding today!

Jeremy Vine : 0, Starbucks : 1

And you wonder why I won't appear on your programme ... keesh!

I've got a proper job. Have you?

Today's show 11/05/11

Wednesday, and you just about manage to scrape two proper news stories together, bolstered only by a promotion or a bashing for a well-known chain of coffee shops and finished off with some mindless irrelevance...

 

1) STARBUCKS - We talk to the Chief Executive of the international coffee giant Starbucks. Do you hate Starbucks? : Do I hate Starbucks? No, of course I don't. What an utterly stupid question. Where has this story come from? And why are you targetting Starbucks in particular when there are many other specialist coffee outlets on our streets? One of the few criticisms that is levelled at me about my blog and my daily emails to you is: If you don't like his programme, don't listen! This is, of course, a fair point and it is the conclusion that I came to years ago. It would seem to me that if somebody really does hate Starbucks then perhaps they should adopt the same philosophy and not visit that particular chain. However, that is probably far too simplistic a view for you and you will, somehow, manage to find a stick with which to beat the Chief Executive. I admire him for going on your programme though. I've just checked their web site and my two nearest Starbucks stores are 59 and 65 miles away, which is a long way to go to hate anything. Perhaps I could hate Starbucks better if they opened a store a bit nearer to where I live. I hate the Jeremy Vine Show ... perhaps you should discuss that one day. Oh, and I don't drink coffee. Next...

2) DISABLED PEOPLE PROTEST AGAINST CUTS - Disabled people protest against the cuts. They say they are being hit the hardest : They are entitled to their opinion, and to protest. Next...

3) CARELESS DRIVING - As the government wants to introduce on the spot fines for careless drivers, we speak to someone that says 'I only under-take and tailgate because of all the bad drivers on the roads.' : Whoever "someone" is, it sounds like they are going to have an expensive time from 2012 - IF the legislation goes through. The only thing that is changing is how that fine is processed, and that is all I need to know so I have no need to listen. Next...

 

4) HOUSEHUSBANDS - Is being a house-husband just an excuse to put your feet up and watch Countdown? Does your househusband actually do the housework? : So, does "house husband" have a hyphen, or not? And shouldn't the question be: Is being a house-husband just an excuse to put your feet up and listen to Jeremy Vine? It begs the question: What is the difference between Countdown and the Jeremy Vine Show? The answer is, of course, that one is an entertaining, witty, informative, educational and much-loved daily show with a huge band of loyal followers of all ages and the other is hosted by Jeremy Vine. On Ken's show you asked "Why are we doing this story?". The same question went through my mind 30 minutes ago but only you can answer that question Jeremy, and perhaps your poor listeners may like to know the answer. Anyway, I am not a house-husband or a househusband, and I am usually too busy to watch Countdown, so this is of no interest to me.

 

Nothing from the Daily Mail today, which is a shame as I was sent this link yesterday: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eBT6OSr1TI. I could not have put it better myself. Watch, listen and learn!

 

I won't be listening today.

Today's show 10/05/11

I understand that congratulations are in order! Very well done for winning two Sony Radio Academy Awards yesterday. It just goes to show that you can fool some of the people some of the time.

Radio 2's news bulletins didn't give me all of the information that I needed though, but a quick look at http://www.radioawards.org/news/awards-2011/2011-winners/ told me:
Radio 2's Jeremy Vine was the evening's sole double gold winner, topping the podium for both Speech Broadcaster of the Year and Best Interview of the Year, with the citation saying: "A broadcaster at the top of his trade, with intimate knowledge of his subject, he dissects Gordon Brown then uses the infamous '"She's a bigot" tape to hammer home the final nail in the prime-ministerial coffin."

I think the Best Interview award was fully deserved, and you were lucky to have the right man in the right place at the right time with the right recording available to you. Had any of those factors have been missing then the interviewer and award recipient could have been somebody else. My view is, of course, that you are in the wrong place (Radio 2) and the wrong time (12-2) every day.

The Academy's use of the phrase "intimate knowledge of his subject" is interesting. If only it were true! Can you remind me how an oil-fired central heating system works?

I'm not so sure about the Speech Broadcaster of the Year though, and I am unsure about how the Academy came to their conclusions with this one. As you will appreciate, speech radio is not really of interest to me, so I don't listen to it. This is probably a good decision on my part as I am left puzzled as to the standard of other speech radio programmes that are available. If yours is considered to be the best then what are the rest like? I feel sure that I am not missing anything.

I can only come to the conclusion that the Academy are selective in their listening and did not include the non-news twaddle that you frequently discuss in their deliberations. I am thinking here of your discussions on topics as irrelevant as these:
.- Breast Milk Ice Cream - Would you eat it?
 - TV Adverts - Do you prefer them to the programmes?
 - Fried Chicken Shops - Is one ruining your street?
 - Handbag - More important than your husband?
 - Bedsheets - How often do you change yours?

 - Freezer - What's the oldest thing in yours?

 - Anything to do with polytunnels!

Award winning stuff? I don't think so!

So, let's look at what the Sony Radio Academy will not be listening to today...

1) BUYING A UNIVERSITY PLACE - Should you be able to buy a place at university? The government may allow extra places for people who bid for them, but is that fair? : Life isn't fair Jeremy. I didn't go to university, and I am unlikely to do so, and we have no children so how can this possibly be of any relevance to me? Next...

2) 'SLUT WALK' PROTEST - A policeman in Canada advises women not to dress ‘like sluts’ and causes international protest. Here women are taking up so-called ‘slut walking.’ : Well, that's great, good for them, and it is part of living in a so-called free democracy. And I could not care less. Next...

3) THE RIOTS OF 1981 - After one o'clock, a special programme looks back thirty years at the riots in Brixton, Toxteth and Moss Side. Which side were you on? Also, we play all the best music from 1981 : Which side was I on? What a stupid question. I was not there and not involved in any way, so how can I possibly have been on one side or the other? And there is nothing like a bit of lunchtime racisim to raise the ire of your listeners, eh? As for the best music, I would guess that you will not be playing anything from The Damned's "Friday 13th" EP released in 1981, but I think I will. Next...

4) PARLIAMENT AS A WEDDING VENUE - Would you get married in the Houses of Parliament? It's been considered, but would MP's give the go-ahead for you or me to get married in what has become their personal club? : Would I get married there? No, it is in London, and I'm already married. That sounds like two good reasons to me. The BBC news page that you link to says: "Parliament can be used as wedding venue - The Houses of Parliament will be available as a wedding venue to members of the public for the first time.", so I am at a loss to understand why MPs (with no apostrophe) have to give the go-ahead when, apparently, it has already been given. What is there to discuss?

In other news, it is interesting to see (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8501819/BBC-producers-public-service-views-on-par-with-religion.html) that the BBC has sacked somebody for apparently believing that public service broadcasting was a good thing. What is this all about then? I'm not suprised that you didn't discuss it today.

I'll be listening to Sony Radio Award winning broadcasters Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie over on 6 Music.

Today's show 09/05/11

I was listening to Jon Holmes on 6 Music on Saturday afternoon, and was a little shocked to hear your dulcet tones coming from my radio. You can hear it too at http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/console/b01100s8 by fast-forwarding to 1:02:30. Now that would be a programme that I would listen to!

 

I see you are going up-market with your choice of topics culled from the Dead Tree Press today, with two from the Daily Telegraph...

 

Let's see if we can find four good reasons to switch to 6 Music at 12 o'clock...

1) GOVERNMENT POLICY CHANGES - Should the Liberal Democrats be able to force the Conservatives to change their policies in government? : While I have my doubts that David Cameron will be hanging on your every word, he may have read the Telegraph story that you have stolen. I was under the impression that the LibDems already had forced the Conservatives to change their policies, and that these kind of disagreements are covered in the Coalition Agreement. Am I missing something? Do I care? Will your discussion change anything? Next...

2) EUROPE DAY - It's Europe day and the rest of Europe are flying the EU flag, apart from number ten Downing Street. Are you flying the EU flag for Europe day? : And so we sink back in to the dark recesses of the Daily Mail for this one ... oh dear. Are you flying one over Western House today? If not, why not? Like the majority of your listeners, I don't have a flagpole so the answer to your question is "No". I might burn one later though. Who thinks up this rubbish? Next...

3) HEAD INJURIES - Doctor Sarah Jarvis joins us to talk about head injuries. Did you have a serious knock on the head? What happened? : Yes. It hurt. I got over it. Fortunately it was not bad enough to do lasting damage ... or did it? Next...

4) THE ROYAL FAMILY - Finally, at the moment MP's aren't allowed to debate the Royal Family in Parliament. We speak to a Welsh MP who says this is nonsense and he wants to debate Prince Andrew : Back to the Telegraph for this one, but I am sure that they have a better understanding of English grammar and would never put an apostrophe in the plural of MPs. Tut tut. The biggest hurdle to this debate will be, of course, Squeaker Bercow and if I were a gambling man I would bet that this it will not happen and, again, I am left puzzled what there is to discuss.

That looks like four good reasons to me!

Today''s show 06/05/11

Welcome back Matthew!

I'm still here to remind you that the lunchtime offering by Radio 2 is really not want I want to listen to, and taking the trouble to tell you why. After all, Jeremy is always asking his poor listeners to "tell us what you think", so I do. Each day he never fails to disappoint as he spoon feeds us his diet of biased irrelevancies in the hope that somebody, somewhere might be influenced by his doctrines. Somebody, somewhere might be influenced, but I am certainly not.

Let's look at today's post election offerings then...

1) THE LIBERAL DEMOCRATS - The Liberal Democrats suffer heavy losses in English council elections. What would your advice be to Nick Clegg as he enters a more challenging phase of his coalition with the Conservatives? : Is Nick Clegg going to be in the studio? If not, why not? Will he even be listening? Will he care about what is said on your programme today? Will he even know about it? I think not, and I feel sure that he will have more pressing matters to deal with today. To me the most important word in your web page text today is, of course, "England" and so it has little relevance, if any, to me as a resident of Wales. Next...

2) THE SCOTTISH ELECTIONS - The SNP is heading for victory in the Scottish elections - we go live to Scotland to find out what's happening : Errr... "we go live"? As opposed to what, exactly? While it is good to see you giving attention to UK countries other than England, I feel sure that you could have devoted some time in this segment to your listeners in Northern Ireland and Wales but you have chosen not to and so again it has no relevance to me. Next...

3) 7/7 CORONER INQUESTS - The coroner at the inquests into the killings of fifty two people in the 7/7 bombings will today make recommendations on how to avoid future deaths: Hmmm... I wonder if she has read http://www.julyseventh.co.uk/july-7-mind-the-gaps-part-1.html. Next...

4) BOWLING GREENS - And we discuss the threat to the country's bowling greens : I have never been bowling, other than the 10-pin variety. Is this news? Really?

 

I'll be listening to 6 Music if you want me.

Today's show 05/05/11

Another early web page update today (by 10:45) and a full 100 minutes earlier than 27th April. Have you hired someone new to do it? Or did your web page lacky wet their bed this morning?

Let's look at today's irrelevancies then...

1) TEENAGE SEXUAL ABSTINENCE - Conservative MP Nadine Dorries says at the moment we teach children about safe sex, when what we should be doing is teaching them how to say no : Tut, tut. The word "no" at the end of the last sentence should have a capital N and be in quotes. Interesting that you have used the word "children" in your description, which implies both sexes, but the BBC news page that you link to specifically refers to girls: "Teenage girls should be taught at school about the benefits of sexual abstinence" and "We need to let young girls know that to say no to sex when you are under pressure is a cool thing to do.". So, why the discrepancy? Let's just put it down to poor research. Oh, and we don't have any teenagers of our own, so this is of no interest to me. Next...

2) GLENCORE - It's one of the biggest companies in the world and it's about to join the FTSE 100, but you probably haven't heard of it. Do you work for Glencore? Are you worried about its huge corporate power? : Now, this is one of the things that really annoys me about your programme. You assume that your poor unfortunate listeners know little and need Uncle Jeremy to tell them what is going on in the world, what to do and what to say - but that is simply not the case. Unfortunately for you I do not need Uncle Jeremy to do any of those things for me, and God help me if I did! Despite your outrageous supposition, I already knew that Glencore were a mining and metals company, and I could probaby have told you that it was a Swiss company too. Do I work for Glencore? No, I don't. Am I worried about its huge corporate power? No, I am not. What I am worried about is why you think a story as specialist as this could be of interest to what you assume to be your average listener. Next...

3) FOREST FIRES - Rain is on the way, but forest fires are still raging throughout the UK. There are concerns that they've been started deliberately. Is there one near you? : It is trying to rain here in North Wales as I type this. There have been several fires in the surrounding area, with the nearest (a big one!) being about a mile away. Here in Wales there seems to be an attempt to prosecute those that have started fires deliberately (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-13271786) but I'm not sure what talking about it is going to achieve other than, errrr...., absolutely nothing. Next...

4) PLAYING IN THE STREET - And finally, the health minister wants residential streets closed on a Sunday to allow children to play. Some motorists are furious with the idea : I've just looked at the Daily Telegraph story that you've linked to. From what I read, I think your use of the word "wants" is a bit strong as the Telegraph says that she has only "suggested" this. The only mention of motorists is this sentence: "A spokesman for the AA said that caution needed to be taken to ensure that motorists were not inconvenienced by road closures." and no mention of them being "furious". So, who are these furious motorists? I'll guess that there aren't any, but they will suddenly appear on the end of telephone when you start talking about this. More importantly than all of this, your web page makes no mention of the underlying story: Child Obesity. The health minister's suggestion is entirely that - a suggestion. It is not happening, but she would like it considered and discussed, and that is all. I put it to you that you are - as usual - being deliberately inflammatory, with the aim of creating an argument purely in an effort to create what you may think is "good radio". I know better though, and can tell you that your show is the epitome of Crap Radio.

6 Music here I come!

Today's show 04/05/11

I didn't listen yesterday (as if...!) but hope that during your discussion on Bin Laden's demise that you mentioned possible BBC involvement with Al Qaeda. More details can be found in the Daily Telegraph's story (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/wikileaks/8472430/WikiLeaks-leaked-files-accuse-BBC-of-being-part-of-a-possible-propaganda-media-network.html) but it is the comments by Andrew Marr (remember him?) in the final paragraphs that interest me the most. Marr said, apparently, that "The BBC is not impartial or neutral. It’s a publicly funded, urban organisation with an abnormally large number of young people, ethnic minorities and gay people. It has a liberal bias not so much a party-political bias. It is better expressed as a cultural liberal bias.” while the BBC spokesperson said ""Independence and impartiality are at the heart of all BBC World Service output.".

I take the view that if the BBC is going to lose its impartiality (if it has not already gone) then I am paying my Licence Fee (a tax!) to support a broadcaster of propaganda. I'm really not happy about that, and so perhaps it is time once again to research what actually happens if somebody doesn't buy a licence.

Moving on then to today's mind infiltration...

1) VOTING REFERENDUM - Tomorrow, there's a referendum on whether to change the voting system, from first past the post to AV. Armano Ianucci tells us why he's voting for change. Peter Stringfellow says he's sticking with first past the post : Thanks, but I don't need to be told how to vote by a comedian and a nightclub owner. What makes them so special that I should hang on their pearls of wisdom, eh? My wife and I have both made our decisions on which way to vote, and our views do not coincide, so together we will have absolutely no effect on the result. Now there is democracy in action! We had a referendum in Wales a couple of months ago, but it must have been something trivial as the national BBC news gave it hardly any mention. Next...

2) IAN TOMLINSON - The inquest into the death of Ian Tomlinson delivered a verdict of unlawful killing. Should the police officer concerned now be prosecuted? : Is this a vote? I'll vote "Yes", but it won't change anything, will it? Here is a video of the Metropolitan Police doing their job: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dSsptuOiHE. Oh how happy I am that I don't live in London. The video was made by the "Love Police" aka Charlie Veitch. Charlie was recently arrested (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-13237702) on suspicion of "conspiracy to cause a public nuisance". To me that says he was arrested for thinking about maybe doing something that the Metropolitan Police would not like. It is interesting that you can now be arrested BEFORE you commit a crime. Search on YouTube for more Love Police videos, they are fascinating - and worrying. Next...

3) OSAMA BIN LADEN - As the White House changes it's version of how Bin Laden was killed, there have been fresh calls to show a photo of the body. Others say it would be too gruesome : Let's see the photos, and I refer you to my comments above. Next...

4) THE FESTIVAL OF BRITAIN - Finally, do you remember the Festival of Britain? Sixty years ago, the country celebrated all that was wonderful about Britain. What are your memories? : It was seven years before I was born. For any person to have any memories of the event they would have needed to be at least in their late teens or early twenties in 1951, so that puts them in their 70s or 80s now. Is this age group part of your target audience demographic now? No wonder your programme fails to appeal to me. Oh, and this is not news.

6 Music beckons...

UPDATE: I've just found out the the Festival of Britain piece was just a plug for a programme on Radio 2 this evening.

Today's show 03/05/11

Welcome back, and my thanks to whoever it was who managed to get your web page updated by 11:10 today. It is good to see that somebody has chosen to do their job today.

With the Andrew Marr story now descending in to the depths of Yesterday's News, it is interesting to see that your friends at the Daily Mail have reported another story concerning poor judgement by a BBC journalist. This time it is Robert Peston, the BBC's Business Editor, who made some inappropriate tweets over the weekend. The story is here http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1382585/BBCs-Robert-Peston-tweets-Kate-Middleton-Prince-William-having-sex.html?ito=feeds-newsxml but I am not surprised that you have chosen to ignore it as it again shows journalists in their usual and very much deserved poor light. Scum.

OK, moving on to today's reasons for switching to 6 Music at 12 then:

1) OSAMA BIN LADEN - Do you share the jubilation of many Americans following the killing of Osama Bin Laden? We speak to someone who says America should have taken him alive and made him stand trial. Only then will justice have been done. We speak to the mother of one of the victims who was killed on 9/11 : As I said last week, I love a good conspiracy theory, but that does not mean that I believe what the theorists tell me. There are many people who believe that Bin Laden had nothing to do with the events of September 11th 2001 and that it was an "inside job" by the US authorities (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9/11_conspiracy_theories). In the name of fair and accurate reporting I would hope that you will be putting forward this point of view, but my suspicion is that it will eat in to the sensationalism and faux emotion of your main thrust, so you won't bother, and neither will I. Next...

2) ROADSIDE LITTER - After one, why are our road verges full of litter? A new law will specifically fine motorists who throw rubbish out of the window : Sounds reasonable, and I am left wondering what there is to discuss. My guess is "nothing" so I won't be listening to this. And good to see a story from the Daily Mail so early in the week! Next...

3) THE SCOTTISH ELECTION - And finally, an electrifying TV debate in Scotland. Could an SNP victory lead us closer to Scottish independence? : Good to see that, again, you are starting to realise that the UK consists of more than just England. There was a TV debate here in Wales too (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-13262622) so perhaps you should discuss that tomorrow. After all, Scotland is not more important than Wales, is it?