On 14th August 2009 JV talked about the customer satisfaction surveys that some companies send to their customers. I decided to do my own survey for his show:
Customer Satisfaction Survey - The Jeremy Vine Show (BBC Radio 2)
SHOW CONTENT
The show's introductory jingle claims that it includes "the latest news and the best music", but do you think that this description is accurate? : No
Has the Jeremy Vine show ever let the real facts get in the way of a good story? : No
Are you ever surprised when George Galloway appears on the programme? : No
Are you ever surprised when George Monbiot appears on the programme? : No
Why do you think these two people appear so frequently? : Because they are cheap, and nobody with any credibility will contribute to the show.
Other than filling two hours of prime Radio 2 air time, does the Jeremy Vine show actually achieve anything? : No
Can you name one single cause that the Jeremy Vine show has championed and actually made a difference to peoples' lives? : No
Does the Jeremy Vine show devote time to topics that are of absolutely no consequence to a huge majority of the UK population? : Yes, frequently, such as a shortage of school books in California
Does the Jeremy Vine show devote time to topics that are of consequence to only a miniscule minority of the UK population? : Yes, frequently, such as The Vulcan pub in Cardiff.
Do you feel that the topics being discussed are fully researched before broadcast? : No
Do you feel that the topics being discussed are fully understood by Jeremy before broadcast? : No
What is the point of the Friday visit to the allotment? : None at all
Do you feel that the show attempts to breathe life back in to subjects that should have been pronounced dead? : Yes
What is Cincinnati, is it (A) a US state, (B) a US city, or (C) beyond the comprehension of a JV show reporter? : B and C
How many listeners does Radio 2 gain or lose during the Jeremy Vine show, is it (A) gains 750,000, (B) stays the same, or (C) loses 750,000? : C
Why do you think this may be? Because the show is rubbish and people turn off in droves.
WEB SITE
Do you feel that putting pictures of JV in a Cardiff pub on the web site was a good idea? : Yes, for those people who have never seen a bloke in a pub before (another miniscule minority)
Do you feel that Paul Weller is thinking "Get this idiot away from me!" in the picture on the web site? : Yes, definitely
THE PRESENTER
Do you feel that Jeremy Vine has a patronising or condescending attitude towards his listeners? : Yes
Do you feel that Jeremy Vine has a patronising or condescending attitude towards many of the people who contribute to the programme? : Yes
Do you feel that Jeremy Vine has pre-conceived views on the subjects he is discussing, detectable by the inflections in his voice? : Yes
Do you feel that Jeremy Vine fails to appreciate the other side of any subject with which he personally disagrees? : Yes
Do you feel that Jeremy Vine speculates unnecessarily rather than check the actual facts of what he is attempting to report? : Yes
Do you feel that it would be better to say nothing (with a suitable explanation) than attempt to guess what is happening? : Yes
Do you think that Jeremy Vine can find Liechtenstein on a map? : No
Do you feel that Jeremy Vine exaggerates to make a weak story sound better? : Yes, he has arms three feet long (the same size as a Chinese lantern apparently)
Which of these items of clothing is most suitable for a news broadcaster to wear, is it (A) tie, or (B) stetson? : A as it shows they have credibility
Which of these items of clothing is most suitable for Jeremy Vine to wear, is it (A) tie, or (B) stetson? : B as it shows he has no credibility and is not to be taken seriously
Do you think Jeremy Vine should resign out of shame and let somebody else attempt to rebuild Radio 2's damaged reputation? : Yes
Somewhat surprisingly JV himself sent me an email about this. He said "brilliant tony i love it!!". I think his Caps and comma keys weren't working that day.