Another day, another two hours of dull radio. Is it true that your producer's name is Phil Airtime?
1) CARE HOME ABUSE - Four people have been arrested following a Panorama investigation into care homes for special needs children. Have you had to remove your son or daughter from a care home? : Absolutely tragic, and for once this just goes to show that active journalism is not quite dead at the BBC despite many indications to the contrary, including this programme. However, by not having any children my answer to your question is "No". Next...
2) PREGNANT SMOKERS - A woman who smoked while she was pregnant claims she did so because it was good for the child. Were you ashamed to smoke while you were pregnant? Find out more in this Mirror article (daily readership 1,173,000, down 5.4% in the last year) : The Mirror? Has it got so bad that you have to stoop so low that the Daily Mirror is now a story source for your programme? Lord Reith will be turning in his grave today. I am not a woman, I don't smoke, and I am not pregnant, so how can this be of any possible interest to me? Next...
3) WASTE FOOD - A shop worker who took home waste food from Tesco has pleaded guilty to handling stolen goods. But if the food was going to be thrown away, where's the harm? : Ooohhh, please Miss, I know Miss.... because it is theft, and so against the law. Not much to discuss really, is there? Or are you going to do something about it? Now, here is a challenge for you Vanessa.... Ever since Jeremy started on his Radio 2 programme I have been challenging him to stop just talking and DO SOMETHING that makes a difference. So far he has ignored my suggestions and so he just goes on and on about all kinds of irrelevant stuff. My challenge to you is: MAKE A DIFFERENCE! If you feel that taking stuff out of supermarket bins should be allowed then start a campaign to get the law changed and/or supermarkets to allow it to happen. Use your well-known name in all of your publicity and you might just make a difference. Failure to announce this campaign on air today will only lead me to think that you actually couldn't care less and, like Jeremy, you are only there to talk. I guess that I won't be surprised. Next...
4) MOBILE PHONES - A World Health Organisation report says that mobile phones could be cause cancer. Do you refuse to use a mobile phone because you fear it will harm your health? Vanessa talks to listener Sarah Paine, Brian Stein; Group Chief Executive of Samworth Brothers and Chairman of the Radiation Research Trust, human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell and Roger Highfield, Editor of the New Scientist : In answer to your direct question: No, I do not. Do you? So who are these people you are talking to today? I can't find anything about Sarah Paine so assume she is just some random person that somebody there knows and who happens to have, or not have, a mobile phone. Where would you be without your researchers, eh? Samworth Brothers make Melton Mowbray pork pies, but I'm not sure that any link with cancer has been proved, unless you know different, or is this just an incidental plug for their products? As for Peter Tatchell, well let's just say that if he told me that today was Wednesday I wouldn't believe him. The evidence that I can find suggests that Tatchell is a fan of mobile phones (http://www.guardian.co.uk/global/2009/may/16/peter-tatchell-arrested-moscow-gay-rights-march, 4th paragraph) when it suits him in his never-ending quest for publicity. You will probably gather that I rank his contribution to your programme alongside those other Rent-A-Gobs Galloway and Monbiot, and so this is a very good reason not to listen to his inane ramblings today. As for Roger Highfield, well he seems to be sitting on the same fence as me (http://www.rogerhighfield.com/rant.php?id=24).
Are you proud of what you do? If so, why? Please go. Now. And take this programme's format with you back to the early hours where it will not trouble me as I am busy sleeping.
I'll be at 6 Music if you want me.
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