Today's show 21/12/11

I made a mistake in my email to you yesterday. I wrote that yesterday was the shortest day, but it might be today, and some people are saying it is tomorrow. Oh well...

Today's issue that affects me: Hmmm... is that getting too warm?

Anyway, here we are on the last day of "news" on Radio 2 for 2011. I believe that you are doing your annual greetings to the troops programme tomorrow, and there will now be no more "news, views and live guests" until January 3rd. How will your listeners cope? This kind of break always makes me wonder what changes the BBC would make should a major news story break during the Christmas/New Year period. Perhaps it would be left to Alan Carr and Dale Winton to tell us all about it....!

So, Piers Morgan then...

1) SILICONE BREAST IMPLANTS - Authorities in France are deciding whether women who had silicone breast implants supplied by a French firm should have them removed. Where does that leave British women who were fitted with the same product? : A good question, but I've checked again and I am still not a woman. Next...

2) GHOST TRAINS - We discuss ghost trains - the services that are run with no passengers on them so that rail companies and the Department for Transport can say the line is still open. Find out more in this article from the Independent : Now, you know that I have an interest in all things trains so I will listen to this at 12:30. (Blimey, what a way to end the year!) The reason for running these trains is stated in the article: "Actually," he tells me, "they use this route for crew-training in case Marylebone is shut and trains are diverted." And that is it, exactly. Train drivers have to be fully aware of the routes on which they drive and it is not permissable to drive a train on a route that is unknown to the driver. The reason for the service from Paddington to Gerrards Cross is, as stated, to keep train crews' route knowledge current. When work takes place on the lines between Marylebone and South Ruislip trains can be diverted into Paddington without having to provide route conductors or drivers that know the route in to Paddington. Similar reasons exist for the other services that you mentioned on Ken's show. Rest assured that this is not an "issue that affects me" but I will listen out of mild interest and to see how you handle it. Next...

3) OPEN FIRES - Four children die in a house fire in Derbyshire that was started after an ember fell from the fireplace onto the carpet. A fire guard would have prevented it, say investigators. How do you keep your open fire safe? : What open fire is that then? Gas-fired central heating here! Next...

4) WRAPPING PRESENTS - We discuss the nightmare of wrapping Christmas presents. We get a lesson from an expert : My wife is an expert at wrapping presents. And what makes you think I actually give any? Now, pass the humbugs.

So, no Piers Morgan then.

The Jeremy Vine Show - How many Fs in "news"? There is no F in news!


UPDATE:

Just switched off the radio after listening to your "ghost trains" item. Good to hear your contributors confirming exactly what I wrote in my earlier email. 

I had to call in on my wife at work just after 12. I know that one of her colleagues there listens to your programme and I mentioned that you were discussing something that had a passing interest to me today. She said, "Oh, I don't listen to him any more, not after that Greece thing". I asked her to elaborate and she told me that after your "Greece leaves the euro" spoof you did last week, and the time wasted while they discussed the implications on their company, she no longer listens to your programme.

And there was me thinking you would want to attract listeners - not drive them away!


UPDATE 2:

I didn't spot that one of the contributors to the "ghost trains" piece has a book out soon. Thanks to Will for pointing that out, and I've added a "Blatant Advertising" tag.