Today's show 06/02/12

Monday morning, but I'm just going to go back to Friday's programme for a moment. I know that inaccuracy and misinformation are a major part of your programme, but it only occurred to me on Saturday how inaccurate your reporting on Friday was concerning Mr Huhne. I am really annoyed with myself about missing THE point.

Your script said, quote: Chris Huhne and his wife will be charged over the speeding offence and the penalty points. He's resigned, but why should he - he's not yet been found guilty?
This text suggests it is the speeding offence that is the issue here, but that is just wrong. Your beloved BBC's news page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-16866127) reports it correctly: Chris Huhne has quit as energy secretary after learning he will be charged with perverting the course of justice over a 2003 speeding case.

This offence goes to the very root of our legal system and, consequently, I understand that offenders may face a life prison sentence. Huhne is the first Cabinet minister in living memory to be charged with a serious criminal offence, yet you made no mention of perverting the course of justice, did you? Why would that be then? Surely you were not trying to steer the discussion away from the real issue and turn it in to "it was only some speeding points". Surely? The BBC giving a Lib-Dem an easy ride through a major offence ... who'd have thought? Thank goodness he isn't a Tory.

I also sent you some questions for Martin Lewis and Cancellation Day:
Cancellation Day sounds like a great idea! I'd like to cancel my BBC TV Licence and continue to watch TV. What advice can you give me? How many threatening letters will I receive - and ignore - before they stop coming? And when the TVL thug knocks on my door, should I just tell him he is committing aggravated trespass and tell him to go away? Any advice gratefully received!

I've just checked the iPlayer and neither he nor you makes any mention of this easy way to save £145.50 a year. Did you pass my question on to him? Perhaps you just ran out of time while you discussed freedom-of-choice Sky subscriptions in preference to pay-up-or-we'll-send-the-boys-round BBC TV licences? Yes, that'll be it, I'm sure.

Today's issue that affects me: We were woken to a loud crash at 06:50 yesterday morning. Investigations revealed that one of our cats had knocked a load of stuff of the kitchen cupboard shelves. More investigations revealed evidence that the mouse we saw several weeks ago was still around, so we can only assume that cat was chasing mouse. We spent yesterday morning clearing and cleaning the cupboard and left it empty and with the door open overnight. Lots of activity at 07:20 this morning as cats are running around and one catches and despatches said mouse. But are there any more?

Can we take a quick look at the news stories that you won't be covering today. That'll be because they concern the BBC. Let's start here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/christopherbooker/9061840/The-EU-mega-ships-and-a-paper-trail-of-warnings-that-still-remains.html

<Scroll down the page>
The BBC’s party line on our 'brave’ social workers

We have long been familiar with the way the BBC ignores, with impunity, its statutory obligation “to ensure that all controversial subjects are treated with due accuracy and impartiality”. There is an ever-growing list of issues, from the EU to climate change, on which its coverage follows a clear “party line”, so partisan that it amounts to little more than propaganda.

That sums up the situation nicely, don't you think?

Knowing how well you like "daddy or chips" comparisons, this may be of interest to you:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2012/02/04/bacon-sandwiches-top-t-mobile-list-of-britain-s-50-greatest-loves-115875-23734631/

Bacon sandwiches top T-Mobile list of Britain's 50 greatest loves

Bacon sandwiches, roast dinners and the obligatory cup of tea have topped a list of what Britain really loves the most in a survey released by T-Mobile.
1 - Bacon sandwiches

2 - Roast dinners

3 - Cup of tea

4 - British history

5 - BBC

You will know from reading this rubbish every day that I am a fan of the bacon sandwich and I am not surprised that a bacon sandwich is more popular than the BBC. They are better value for money too!

OK... so let's see if Monday 6th February 2012 is THE DAY when you talk about an issue that affects me:

1) BIG FREEZE - As forecasters warn of dangerous ice after the weekend's snowfall, we discuss whether you should take in a homeless person in these freezing temperatures : Talking about the weather - again? Can't you just tell its a Monday. It was 12 years ago that The Independent (http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/snowfalls-are-now-just-a-thing-of-the-past-724017.html) wrote this: According to Dr David Viner, a senior research scientist at the climatic research unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia,within a few years winter snowfall will become "a very rare and exciting event". "Children just aren't going to know what snow is," he said. Thank goodness we have experts like that. The ONLY reason you are discussing this is because it has affected London and the South East, so it automatically becomes important. Here in North Wales today it rained all day Saturday but was dry and sunny yesterday. Today is grey overcast with some light drizzle and very occasional glimpses of a watery sun. The temperature is 5degC and is predicted to rise to 7degC later. We have not had a frost since the middle of last week. Go on, tell the nation, they'd love to know that. And, on the basis that it is not freezing, the answer to your question is "No". What about you? Next...

2) DIAMOND JUBILEE - Former prime minister Sir John Major talks to us about the Queen on the sixtieth anniversary of her accession to the throne : Is she in the studio today? Oh... This has every possibility of ending up as a free-for-all row between pro- and anti-monarchists. I think I'll give it a miss, thanks. Next...

3) DIANE FRANKLIN - We speak to a woman whose quadriplegic son has just started to speak after twenty years. Find out more from Mail Online : First day of the week, and the Mail makes an appearance - yay! This is fantastic news, but - again - I have promised Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie that I will listen to them today. Sorry. Next...

4) SYRIA UNREST - Syrian forces have intensified their bombardment of the city of Homs. Does this prove that we should have intervened earlier? : From the weather to foreign policy in under two hours - fantastic. Who are the "we" that should maybe have intervened earlier? I wasn't aware that "we" had intervened at all.

It looks like I shall remain disappointed.

The Jeremy Vine Show - radio for Room 101

Today's show 31/10/11

Good, you're back, and the dull, dismal and despicable Ms Feltz has been banished back to the obscurity of Radio 2's night time coverage. Thank goodness for that!

Her hosting of your programme was not without incident or amusement, of course. How could it be any other way? I have to thank my regular blog reader and valued contributor Gill for bringing this fabulous article from the Daily Mirror to my attention:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2011/10/25/vanessa-feltz-goes-off-air-and-insults-travel-reporter-sally-boazman-on-radio-2-115875-23512635/

Vanessa Feltz goes off air and 'insults' travel reporter Sally Boazman on Radio 2

FORGET the TV battle between Strictly and X Factor, yesterday’s broadcast highlight was Vanessa Feltz’s embarrassing off-air “moment”.
The DJ, 49, was covering for Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 and left her mic on while playing a record.
Sounding incredibly bored, listeners heard her ask: “So, what happens next? I talk to, um, Sally, [travel reporter Sally Boazman] blah, blah, blah, she does the travel…?”
Yet when she officially went back on air, she chirped enthusiastically: “And one of the perks of this job is that I get to talk to Sally! Hello!”
Comedy platinum.

Comedy platinum indeed. Well, it made me laugh, as did some of the comments about Feltz that appeared on Radio 2's facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/BBCR2) when she wasted her Give An Hour item to be trained how to use the internet, apparently. Comments included:

 - Just what the internet needs, another moron.
 - Feltz proudly claimed yesterday "I have never sent an email in my life". I have a vision of her (... shudder ...) scratching out a note on velum using a quill, but how does she get it to her BBC managers? Carrier pigeon? Liveried footman? I think we should be told.
 - shocked that Radio 2 cannot get anyone better, for surely anyone would be better than her.
 - Hang on a minute ... if she doesn't do email and is not online, how come she has a Twitter account? More lies from the BBC! http://twitter.com/#!/vanessafeltz
 - My goldfish has more personality than the big V. With a bit of luck it will live longer too.
 - At the end of the day- she must have been the last possible choice to stand in, she is truly shocking.
 - Why is Vanessa Feltz (still) on radio 2 - makes me switch off until she goes on holiday - give the job to someone else - please

So, not a popular choice then! I have no doubt that public opinion will - as always - be completely ignored by the BBC.

It was on 21st October that I awoke to Radio 2's 08:00 news only to be on the receipt of an attempted brainwashing exercise when I was told - yet again - that the world is doomed from the affects of man-made global warming (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-15373071), yet these findings seem to have been discredited over the weekend (http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100114292/lying-cheating-climate-scientists-caught-lying-cheating-again/ and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2055191/Scientists-said-climate-change-sceptics-proved-wrong-accused-hiding-truth-colleague.html and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2055123/Climate-change-scientist-Jeffrey-Gleason-cited-Al-Gore-face-lie-detector-test.html and http://order-order.com/2011/10/30/climate-change-global-flatlining/) yet the BBC has - as usual - chosen to ignore these revelations. I'm surprised that you didn't go with this one today, as it appears in the Daily Mail twice!

The BBC is also in the news again, and conveniently ignored by your programme today. I found this article in the Daily Mail (again Jeremy, come on!) of great interest:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2055203/BBC-boss-Diane-Coyle-bias-row-second-job-advising-Labour.html

BBC boss in bias row as she takes second job advising Labour

Diane Coyle is paid £77,005 to work two-and-a-half days a week
The BBC was last night at the centre of a row over political bias after it was revealed that the vice-chair of its governing trust is advising the Labour Party.
Diane Coyle, deputy to chairman Chris Patten, is working as an aide to shadow Business Secretary Chuka Umunna – despite official guidance that warned her accepting the job could be inappropriate.
Ms Coyle, an economist, is paid £77,005 to work two-and-a-half days a week for the BBC Trust.

£77005 for two and half days a week? Got any jobs going? I could do that.

The links between the BBC and the Labour Party are well-known and acknowledged by everybody ... except anybody who works at the BBC, that is. One only has to look at your very own photo page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/jeremy-vine/photos/guests/) to see the pro-Labour bias that you have. There are 18 photos there showing your good self with the following guests:
1: Ed Miliband (LABOUR)
2: David Cameron (TORY)
3: Gordon Brown (LABOUR), presumably when he still thought you were a nice chap!
4: John Prescott (LABOUR)
5: Jack Straw (LABOUR)
6: John Prescott again (LABOUR), why two pictures? We know what he looks like!
7: Jacqui Smith (LABOUR)
8: Boris Johnson (TORY)
9: Neil Kinnock (LABOUR)
10: Martin Lewis (Top Bloke!)
11: Billy Ocean (biggest-selling black British artist of all time) - not sure why "black" is important.
12: David Miliband (LABOUR)
13: Drogbar and Willis (footballer and musician)
14: Dr Rowan Williams
15: Paul Weller (not smiling, as usual)
16: Richard Brunson (wasn't he a copper?)
17: Rolf Harris (LEGEND)
18: Ed Balls (LABOUR)

Discounting the non-politicos, that gives two pictures of Tories and nine of Labourites. So, is this a case of Tories not being invited or not wanting to appear on your programme, or is it just maintaining the BBC's pro-Labour bias? Or has your camera broken?

You won't be discussing that today, of course, so what are you going to depress your poor listeners with then? Let's see....

1) VIOLENT PORN - The killer of Joanna Yeates, Vincent Tabak, was obsessed by violent pornographic websites. How destructive is this material? : Aaahhh... pornography. A stock-in-trade of the Jeremy Vine Show and just what Radio 2 needs at lunchtime. Where would your programme be without it? So what research have you done? Or did you get somebody else to do the research so that they could tell you about it, like Penthouse magazine (October 14th)? The whole subject does not appeal so I'll skip this, if you don't mind. Next...

2) JIMMY SAVILE - Did Jim Fix It for you? We discuss people's recollections of the broadcaster and tireless charity fundraiser, Sir Jimmy Savile : I can remember him with black hair, and with it half black and half blond. However, and even as a child, I rarely watched Jim'll Fix It and could not stand him when he was on Radio 1. While I acknowledge the good work he did for various charities and hospitals I can honestly say that I was never a fan. I did watch the programme that Louis Theroux made about him, and that told me all I needed to know. I guess I could have written: Dear Jim, Please fix it for me to get the Jeremy Vine Show (or any equivalent) off Radio 2, for ever. Next...

3) DIABETES - After 1, in our health special with Dr Sarah Jarvis, are you worried about losing your driving job because you've got diabetes? : My driving job? You obviously know something about me that I do not! Perhaps you are confusing me with somebody else. Next...

4) CANOEISTS AND ANGLERS - And finally, canoeists and anglers are at war in the River Avon in Hampshire. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : This is nothing new. I used to live near the River Severn in Shropshire and the same arguments arose there. So which side are you going to ridicule today? As neither a canoeist or an angler this item is of no interest to me.

You'll love this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3q2iZuU5WM

Unfortunately you are not mentioned, but Radcliffe and Maconie are. It also seems to miss the point that most of the TV shows mentioned were made 30 years ago...

The Jeremy Vine Show - better than Feltz, but only just

Today's show 21/10/11

I see the BBC are in the news again today, although both stories will be conveniently buried under the tidal wave of Gaddafi stuff. You probably missed them, so here they are...

The first one concerns the BBC's coverage of the Dale Farm debacle (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/8839523/BBC-accused-of-overstaffing-as-protesters-pull-out-of-Dale-Farm.html):
BBC accused of 'overstaffing' as protesters pull out of Dale Farm

The BBC was accused of "ludicrous over staffing" today after it emerged that it had more reporters than there were protesters at the Dale Farm traveller eviction.
While the number of activists dwindled, the BBC still had six satellite crews, a handful of local correspondents and a team of documentary makers on the six acre site.

Other news media organisations apparently managed with less facilities and less staff, not that I saw any of the coverage. We can only hope that those BBC cuts are long, hard and painful.

The second one is a follow-up from the Rangers Football Club story I brought to your attention a few days ago (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-15395427):
'Criminality' claims over Rangers owner Craig Whyte

Rangers owner Craig Whyte has said he will take legal action over a BBC documentary which carried allegations of criminality in his past dealings.

I am no fan of football, but I wish him the very best for a successful prosecution. Hopefully it will be the first of many.

Today's issue that affects me: Eating burnt toast - good, or bad?

A quick scan of today's topics for your programme shows that you have managed to resist the latest "global warming" story that was pummelled in to my brain by the Radio 2 news just after 08:00 this morning (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-15373071). Perhaps we can have a one-sided argument (in that you will tell me what to think, I will contradict and you will ignore me) next week, maybe?

So, what did you choose for Friday's menu...

1) COLONEL GADDAFI - The Sun’s front page shows a picture of a dead Colonel Gaddafi with the headline ‘That’s for Lockerbie’. He may have been a brutal dictator, but is this the best way to get justice? Meanwhile, television news splashed pictures of a bloodied Gaddafi’s body being dragged through the streets. Were you appalled by the brutality of the pictures? : Gaddafi's death is unfortunate as it means that he cannot be put on trial, and after which he would probably have been killed anyway, like Saddam Hussein. A trial would have brought all sorts of interesting episodes to light, and I feel sure that Tony Blair, and others, slept a little more soundly in their beds last night by knowing that he is silenced. So, and in answer to your first question, this was not the best way to get justice. Unfortunately, the Jeremy Vine Show has a record for not changing anything so I have doubts that you can bring him back from the dead. The second question suggests that you want to spend time looking at the journalism used to cover Gaddafi's death - big up the journo scum! The papers are a disgrace, as usual, and I didn't see any of the TV pictures so I have no opinion on them. More importantly, which flesh-presser are you going to have on the show to tell us how wonderful and misunderstood Gaddafi was? I doubt you'll get Blair, and I think Gordon is still not talking to you, so my prediction is that it will be Galloway. I'm not prepared to take that risk so there, Jeremy, is a good reason not to listen. Next... 

2) STAMPS - Would you pay £1 for a first class stamp? : There is no mention of a £1 fee on the BBC news page you link to, so where did that figure come from? The Ofcom proposal (for that is all it is at the moment - http://consumers.ofcom.org.uk/2011/10/safeguarding-the-uk%E2%80%99s-universal-postal-service/) says: Ofcom proposes to put a price cap of between 45p and 55p on Second Class stamps for standard letters to protect vulnerable customers from significant price rises. That'll do for me, and other delivery services are available. If first class stamps go up to £1 it will make it worthwhile for somebody to find a way to forge them. Next...

3) LIVING ALONE - Esther Rantzen joins us for a special item on the loneliness of living on your own. Esther writes for the Mail Online : I lived on my own for years, but I don't any more. Good to see the Mail making an appearance on your programme, though. Next...

4) WORRYING LIVESTOCK - Farmers often threaten to shoot dogs who worry their livestock. A farmer from Burton did just that and killed a beagle and a whippet. Find out more from the Burton Mail : The loss of a pet is always heart-breaking, but I've never owned a dog and have no plans to do so.

A dead dictator, stamps going up, loneliness and dead pets, and you just said on Ken's show "Don't miss that" ... I would rather boil my head, and so it just has to be:

The Jeremy Vine Show - brightening your weekend in our own special way!

Today's show 20/10/11

I've just been looking at your Twitter feed and I am pleased and reassured to see that it is not just me that gives you some stick on there. I was particularly amused by one from @cbandyxxx who said:

Have you blocked him from following you too?

I'm busy today, so moving on quickly to today's tosh then...

1) DALE FARM - As the evictions from the traveller camp at Dale Farm continue today, did you look at the TV pictures and feel sorry for the police? : Did I look at the TV pictures? No, I did not. Do I feel sorry for the police? They are doing a difficult job against some genuine law breakers, but I do not feel sorry for them. Do I need to listen to you banging on about this yet again? Definitely not. Another contributor to your Twitter feed is the aptly named @theJeremyVile (who follows me @JVineBlogMan, I am pleased to say) and he posted this earlier today, which I will re-post here without comment:

Is he another Twitter user that you have blocked from following you? Next...

2) FRACKING - Britain looks for more sources for energy. Would you rather have a wind farm or a fracking plant in your back yard? What is fracking and why is it controversial? : You covered this on 24th May and gave an explanation of the process. Do you think your listeners have short memories? Other than the protestors on Blackpool Tower the other day, what has changed since then? And yes, I have seen the YouTube videos of people setting fire to water as it flows from a tap - allegedly - but I have also seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSWUEpayxZA that confirms my view of YouTube videos. There is huge scope for bias, misinformation and lies in this item today, so you'll be in your element and I won't be listening. Next...

3) FOREIGN AID - Is foreign aid the one big thing that attracts you to the Conservative Party or the one big thing that turns you off the Tories? : You said on Ken's show that you were interested in the views of the "middle ground of floating voters". Unfortunately I have never been a "floating voter". Next...

4) RICKY GERVAIS - The comedian has been criticised for using the term ‘mong’ in his comedy routine. Disabilities groups say it’s deeply offensive. Find out more from Newsbeat : Newsbeat? Sheesh! Is this the biggest storm in a teacup that you could find today? I find your programme offensive, so when are you going to discuss that?

The Jeremy Vine Show - including 30 minutes of fracking rubbish

Today's show 23/08/11

You'll be pleased to know that my washing dried, and it didn't rain. Weather forecasts - pah!

I've struggled to think of an issue that affects me today, so I'll go with this one from a couple of weeks ago...

I recently had a problem with a credit card where the PIN number was not being recognised. The card supplier happily sent me a new PIN with a note telling me that I needed to validate it in an ATM at my nearest branch. I had no idea where that was, so I called them, gave them my postcode and was told "We don't have a branch anywhere near you". And that was all they could tell me. My own investigations subsequently revealed that my nearest branch is 40 miles away in a town that I very rarely visit. I called them back and gave them the choice: Validate my PIN over the phone, or close my account. Their choice was the latter. So...
Today's issue that affects me: Why do some companies forget that not all of their customers live in or near cities and towns?

OK, on to the issues that allegedly affect your listeners...

On 16th May you wasted 30 minutes of prime time radio broadcasting with this story: "IMF CHIEF ACCUSED OF RAPE - The French head of the IMF and socialist candidate for presidency is arrested in New York after allegedly trying to rape a chambermaid. Some in France are asking 'Was he set up?". Interesting that now it is looking extremely likely that the case will be dropped (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-14619921) yet coverage of this has been minimal, and with none at all on your programme. In the minds of your listeners Mr Strauss-Khan will always be "that bloke who raped a chambermaid" and will remain uneducated on his actual status, whetever that turns out to be. Here again Jeremy is a reason why I choose not to listen to your programme. You do not follow up and correct old stories, so if I chose to believe what you tell me (heaven forfend) then my views would be tainted by a lack of the full facts. I would rather not have any opinion than have an incorrect one. What is your view?

So let's look at the half-stories and half-truths you will be discussing today:

1) LIBYA - Gaddafi goes into hiding. What makes a dictator fight it out to the last bullet? : I was waiting for you to say on Ken's show "... and on the phone we will have Colonel Gaddafi, Robert Mugabe, Omar Al-Bashir and Kim Jong-Il ..." but it never came. So, in answer to your question, I have absolutely no idea. So, who could you get to enlighten you? Somebody who has met a dictator or two, somebody who likes telling anybody who will listen what they should be doing and what to think, somebody who likes the sound of his own voice far too much. That'll be George Galloway then. If I were a betting man I would put £100 on him appearing on your show today, but this in itself is a good reason not to listen. Next...

2) MICROFINANCE - How a charity is helping small businesses help themselves in the developing world : Does Wales count as the developing world? Sometimes I think it should, but that is more than made up for the stunning scenery and fantastic way of life we have here. Anyway, good for them, but this is of no interest to me. Next...

3) LIGHTNING STRIKES! - After Richard Branson's mansion goes up in flames, have you suffered a catastrophic lightning strike? : I've been in a trans-Atlantic Jumbo Jet that was struck by lightning and dropped 200 feet like a stone, and I've also been on a train that was struck by lightning and had St Elmo's fire dancing around it. As I am still here to tell the tale I don't think that either occasion could be described as "catastrophic", so the answer to your question is "No". Blame it on global warming. Next...

4) DIFFICULT FRIENDSHIPS - Tell us about the friend you just can't get rid of. They don’t get the hint and they won't (take) no for an answer : The only friends I have are the ones that I have not told to F-Off And Die. What was the problem again?

The Jeremy Vine Show - follow-up stories, who needs them?

Today's show 08/08/11

Aaaahhh... the mysterious and anonymous Mr O'Connell returns. Was my suggestion to have Jeremy Clarkson stand in for JV dismissed then? If it was then that is a shame as it would have made great and very listenable radio!

You'll remember me. I'm the guy who runs the "I Hate The Jeremy Vine Show" blog (which passed 6000 page views over the weekend) and emails the programme every day to illustrate the utter futility, irrelevance and pointlessness of what is broadcast. You can take it as read that I won't be listening at 12 o'clock, but please allow me to explain why...

1) RIOTS - Following more violent disorder in London last night, were you caught up in the riots? : In answer to your question: No, I wasn't. It is about 250 miles from where I live in North Wales to that there London. What happens in your country's capital city is of no relevance and of only passing interest to me. And the reason is simple: I have listened to and watched the BBC reporting of these events, and have noted the bias contained therein. If I didn't know better it would seem to me that the BBC think that sainthood is the only appropriate treatment for the "young man" tragically killed while - if I understand this correctly - he was allegedly trying to murder a Police Officer. You'll be blaming Thatcher, I suppose. Next...

2) MATHS - Carol Vorderman wants everyone to learn maths up to age 18. If you’ve forgotten everything you ever learned, we give you a lesson in percentages, long division and fractions: Admirable, but I was lucky enough to get a good O-level maths grade at school, and went on to study at A-level too. After leaving full-time education I then worked in the computer industry as an analyst programmer for 30 years. I still use maths every day in the job I do now. So thanks for the offer of a lesson, but I really feel that I don't need it. Next...

3) DOUBLE-DIP RECESSION - With the financial markets in turmoil, in the real world of jobs and businesses, will your town survive a double-dip recession? Redcar today is advertising 1000 steel jobs : My nearest town has a population of under 1900 people and was founded early in the 11th century. I'm pretty sure it has survived worse things than double-dip recessions in that time. But thanks for asking. And good to see "the real world" reference - a first for the Jeremy Vine show! Next...

4) POLAR BEAR ATTACK - How well prepared were the Brits that were attacked by a polar bear? : A tragic death, but in answer to your question: I don't know, I wasn't there, were you? If not, why don't you ask them? Cue opportunity for the BBC to broadcast their usual man made global warming hysteria, with perhaps an appearance from George "we're all going to die" Monbiot. I don't need to hear that, and I'll get somebody to tell you if I ever get attacked by a polar bear. OK?

So, no story from the Daily Mail today then? Tsk... one day in and JV's standards are already slipping.

Today's show 13/07/11

An interesting piece appeared in your favourite rag The Daily Mail yesterday concerning your BBC colleague Robert Peston and his alleged affiliations with News International (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2013684/Is-BBCs-Robert-Peston-close-Rupert-Murdochs-man-Will-Lewis.html). Allow me to quote:

Media commentators have highlighted the close personal and formerly professional relationship between Mr Peston and Will Lewis, the very senior News International troubleshooter, amid suggestions that the BBC man is being used by the Murdoch machine.

Mr Peston is also close to Simon Greenberg, News International's director of corporate affairs.

A gossip column last week reported that Mr Peston was among the guests at a lavish garden party thrown by PR man Matthew Freud and his wife Elisabeth Murdoch, Rupert Murdoch's daughter, at their Oxfordshire mansion at the beginning of July. According to the report Mr Peston, resplendent in a peach cotton scarf, was huddled together with Rebekah Brooks, his friend Mr Lewis, and their boss James Murdoch for a good part of the evening.

Last night, Labour MP Tom Watson said it was 'not right' that Mr Peston appeared to be being 'spoonfed' internal News International documents that were being handed over to police.
Interesting stuff, I'm sure you would agree. And it must be true if it is in the Daily Mail, surely?

Meanwhile, The Guardian have published a chart showing how the TV Licence Fee Tax is used (http://www.guardian.co.uk/news/datablog/2011/jul/12/bbc-spending?CMP=twt_gu). Interesting to read that Licence Fee Collection cost £126million last year, but that it only cost £53million to fund the whole of Radio 2 in the same period. Room for some efficiencies there I feel, and a good place to start would be cessation of the intimidating letters to people who do not own a TV.

And following the relevations by News International that Gordon Brown might just have got his facts wrong (http://order-order.com/2011/07/12/source-for-cystic-fibrosis-story-was-mundane/) and suggestions that Brown is just seeking revenge (http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/commentators/andrew-grice/andrew-grice-is-news-internationals-misery-gordon-browns-revenge-2312096.html) I see you are having a day almost devoid of Murdoch-bashing today...

1) GREEN ENERGY - By some estimates, the average household could see their fuel bills rise by a further one hundred and sixty pounds, in order to pay for green energy. Can we afford that? And how many solar panels do you need to boil a kettle of water? Find out more in this Guardian article : A quick search for "solar panel boil kettle" brought a BBC page up as the top item: http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/davidgregory/2010/09/boiling_a_kettle_with_solar_po.html. The telling sentence is: Of course all this depends on your kettle! It will be interesting to see in years to come if and how attitudes about man-made global warming change once the inevitable pain is felt in peoples' wallets. Next...

2) METROPOLITAN POLICE - After listening to the police evidence to parliament yesterday, did you conclude that these Metropolitan police officers were lazy, scared (of Murdoch), corrupt, or sensible? : I think you are, unfortunately, confusing me with somebody who listened to their evidence. On that basis I'll guess that they are all four of those things, not that you will be changing anything, of course. Next...

3) NICK CLEGG - The deputy Prime Minister's wife says that Nick Clegg is killing himself to do the school run. Some people are saying that running the country is more important that collecting the children from school. Find out more in this Telegraph article : Running out of proper news stories, are we? Some people (well, quite a lot actually) are saying that your programme is rubbish, yet you choose to ignore them. I sincerely hope that Mr Clegg does exactly the same. Next...

4) GANNET - Finally, the man from Cardiff who had his eye pecked out by a gannet : Hmmm.... So this guy (a welder, but the BBC news web page makes no mention of his wildlife handling qualifications) sees what he considers to be an injured bird belonging to a protected species and decides to pick it up. The gannet, injured or not, would have been stressed by this. The barking dog would have only added to its discomfort so it did what came naturally and lashed-out in an effort to protect itself. Do I have any sympathy? Not really. Is this news? Not really. Perhaps he could sue the owner of the dog. Needless to say, the BBC news page fails to supply us with the most important piece of information: the fate of the gannet. Half a story, as usual. I was involved in a similar situation earlier this year, when I saw that a sheep in the field across the road was tangled in the brambles. I watched it on and off for a couple of hours as it tried to pull itself free. I had the phone number for the farmer so I gave him a call, spoke to his wife, and explained the situation. She thanked me for my concern and contacted the farmer who turned up an hour or so later. The sheep was still stuck in the brambles and so the farmer walked over to it with stout gloves and cutters at the ready. When he was within six feet of it the sheep stood up and calmly walked off. I learnt something about nature finding a way that day. But there is also a difference between my story and yours: I called somebody who knew what they were doing. Meanwhile, I like chips so I consider this story to be more important: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-humber-14125924

Today's show 19/05/11

It is a deligtful sunny day here in North Wales today, and following all of the recent rain we have had here perhaps I should go in to the garden and cut the grass. It could certainly do with it. Alternatively I might want to stay in and listen to your programme, so can you tempt me today?

 

1) KEN CLARKE - Ken Clarke, Justice Secretary got into trouble yesterday for suggesting that some types of rape are more serious than others. We talk to someone that says that the effect of rape on the victim is always devastating, and somebody else who says that Ken Clarke might just be right : I didn't hear Mr Clarke's interview on Radio 5, but we have all had occasions when we knew what we meant to say but we didn't say what we meant, including your good self. However, and according to the New Statesman, Mr Clarke appears to be safe in his post thanks to personal intervention by Ed Miliband (http://www.newstatesman.com/blogs/the-staggers/2011/05/clarke-miliband-labour-policy), so that was a result for one of them at least. Fortunately I don't have any experience of rape, and I'm not sure that this is the kind of thing that I want - or need - to listen to today, thank you. Next...

 

2) CYCLE HELMETS - Should cycle helmets be made compulsory? Do they make a difference anyway, and if they were made compulsory would this stop people from cycling? : I don't own a bike and I haven't ridden one since the days when childrens' playground surfaces were made of good old-fashioned concrete. On that basis, I feel totally unqualified to answer your questions, and this whole item is of no interest to me. Next...

3) BRITAIN'S DROUGHT - Much of Britain is suffering from a drought. Some places have had only 10% of the usual rainfall in the last two months. Are you somebody who's loving it or hating? : Is this a BBC-sponsored man-made global warming tosh discussion? I suspect it will turn in to one. I live in North Wales where we have our own micro-climate. Common perception is that "it always rains in Wales" but it is simply not true. It is a misconception generated by visitors to the area during the summer months of July and August when, it is true, it chucks it down most of the time. For example, last year we had a relatively dry April, May and June, but come 1st July the heavens opened and it didn't stop until towards the end of August. There were a few nice days, and only a few that caused us to think "Let's go to the beach", even though it is only a few miles away. This years seems to be going much the same way, but May has definitely been wetter and colder than last year. I remember the summer of 1976 well, but the UK has a much better water infrastructure now than it did then so comparisons are fairly meaningless. So, do I love it or hate it? Hmmm... I'll go for your as usual unpublished middle option of "Not Bothered". Next...

 

4) STEPHEN LAWRENCE - Two men will now face trial for the murder of Stephen Lawrence. As a result of his killing, many things in Britain have changed. For the better, or for the worse? : I have no idea, but I am sure that the judicial system will take its course. Again, this is not the kind of lunchtime listening I am looking for today.

 

Time to get my lawn mower out, I think.

Today's show 28/03/11

Hi Jeremy,

Many thanks for your email concerning the Budget Day show.

Let's see what delights are on today's menu....

1) ED MILIBAND AT THE ANTI-CUTS RALLY - Was Ed Miliband right to speak at the anti-cuts rally? We also speak to UK Uncut, who occupied Fortnum & Mason : With the TUC march dominating the news this weekend, I am not surprised that you are covering it today. The BBC seem to have turned it in to a massive piece of anti-government propaganda  Even your friends at the Daily Mail are attacking the BBC for their biased coverage of the event. Their latest offering is http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1370053/TUC-anti-spending-cuts-protest-200-arrested-500k-march-cut.html and you'll need to scroll 2/3rds way down the page to see the comments by Peter Hitchen. It is headed "The biased BBC... marching alongside their anti-cut allies" and opens with:

As usual, they didn’t even know they were doing it, but the BBC took sides on the TUC protest, even before it had begun. The Corporation and the TUC instinctively recognise each other as allies. Both depend on public money.

Now, you know very well that I am no fan of the Daily Mail, but Mr Hitchen's piece raises some interesting questions about the BBC's alleged impartiality. I sent you a discussion topic suggestion on Saturday asking you to discuss the BBC's bias in such matters, but my guess is that you are not brave enough to discuss it today and you will maintain the BBC's corporate view of this event. What a shame. Next...

2) WHAT DO WE DO IF ANTI GADDAFI REBELS ATTACK PRO-GADDAFI CIVILIANS? The anti-Gaddafi rebels are making quick progress towards Tripoli. What do we do if they start attacking pro-Gaddafi civilians? : I'm going to buy another two tins of baked beans, just in case. Nothing discussed on your programme today in relation to this topic will change anything. Next...

3) PARENTING: BRINGING YOUR BABY HOME - Our parenting week; the most important job in the world starts today with the day I brought my baby home and didn't have a clue what to do. Should you trust the expert manuals, or your maternal instinct? : Knowing that you were going to run this theme throughout the week I did give some thought about what I was going to write to you today. I could have written chapter and verse about why this is of absolutely no interest to me, but I decided to just say that it isn't, and I will not comment further on it this week.

However, it did occur to me that some of your regular contributors could be dragged in to give their own particular brand of advice in their specialist subjects. For example, the topic of breast-feeding vs bottle-feeding may come up. Now, which regular contributor knows most about milk? Hmmm.... let me think.... Oh, I know. It would have to be George "would you like the cream" Galloway! Go on, call him up, offer him a few quid and I'm sure he'll spout for as long as you will let him on a topic that he knows nothing about. No change there then.

Then you could get George "we're all going to die" Monbiot on the line. He could tell new parents how to start brainwasing their children in to thinking that we'll all be dead by the end of April. The BBC have already created a game about climate change (see http://www.bbc.co.uk/sn/hottopics/climatechange/climate_challenge/aboutgame.shtml) so that should be a good starting point. I love the line on that page that says "Wherever possible, real research has been incorporated into the game", implying that when not possible somebody has made it up. Again, no change there then.

I'm sure you'll have some ideas of your own for Terry Walton, but I'd prefer if you left Martin Lewis out of this as I have too much respect for him. Next...

4) TRAFFIC LIGHTS IN PORTSMOUTH - And lastly, Portsmouth wants to turn its traffic lights to flashing amber at night : There have been "Part Time Traffic Signals" on roundabouts (in Telford, for example) and on motorway junctions (M6 Walsall) for years, so this is nothing new. Anyway, my nearest set of proper traffic lights (i.e. that control traffic flow rather than just a pedestrian crossing) is nearly 20 miles away. Should I care?

 

Nothing there for me again, so I won't be listening.

Today's show 24/03/11

Blimey... your web page was updated by 10:10 today. Somebody must have been in early...

So, today's non-news stories are:

1) ARE HIGH FUEL PRICES CURING OUR ADDICTION TO OIL? - As the chancellor announces a 1p cut in petrol and diesel tax, we talk to people who say high fuel prices are good and we'd better start getting used to them, because they help cure our addiction to oil : I can only suggest that these people preach their message to the jet skiers who are at my local beach every weekend. "I'm completely impartial ... neutral". Ha! No you're not. Next...

2) ELIZABETH TAYLOR - Why did the public adore Elizabeth Taylor in the way they did? : Did they really adore her? I suspect that a good proportion of people under 30 have never heard of her as she has not been in the public eye for over 20 years. I'm the wrong side of 50 and I can honestly say that I have never seen any of her films, and my only knowledge of her is that she was married to Richard Burton and was a friend of Michael Jackson. I don't think that counts as adoration, does it? Next...

3) HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TRAPPED IN QUICKSAND? - A boy was rescued on the Dorset coast after being trapped in quicksand. Have you ever been sucked into quicksand or a bog-type substance? : The answer to your question is No. However, I will draw your attention to this story from the 18th of February, just over a month ago: http://www.dailypost.co.uk/news/north-wales-news/2011/02/18/granddad-feared-he-would-die-in-quicksand-on-anglesey-beach-55578-28191370/.
So, what is the difference between this story and yours? GEOGRAPHY! One is in Wales, and so is of no interest to you, and the other relates to the south of England so is of prime importance. Ah yes, but perhaps you had other supposedly more important stories to discuss that day. Now, let's see...
 - Alternative Vote : Remember this? Newcastle was voted as the UK's new capital city.
 - Lowestoft lollipop lady loses her job : Lowestoft, that'll be in England then, so it takes priority - obviously.
 - Are your wedding plans tearing your family apart? : NOT NEWS!
 - Terry Walton - 'Nuff said.
Perhaps the reason you didn't mention the Anglesey story is that it would have required some research to find, rather than just being spoon-fed your daily stories by the BBC news web site.

4) HUSBAND AND WIFE OVERCOME BREAST CANCER - And finally, the remarkable story of the man who nursed his wife through breast cancer, then suffered breast cancer himself : Good for them, but the only news here is the happening of a coincidence, and they happen all of the time.

Today's show 11/01/11

Blimey... the web site was updated before 11:30 today. Well done!

1) Flu - A leading doctor says it’s wrong that people should be able to buy the flu vaccine when people in the ‘at-risk’ group can't get it on the NHS : This problem, to the best of my knowledge, does not exist here in Wales. Next...

2) Rising petrol prices - Good for the environment? : Galloway yesterday, are you going to subject your listeners to George Monbiot today? I predict that this will descend in to a "man-made global warming" fracas as these things always do on Jeremy's show. Let me remind you of what your colleague Jeremy Paxman said back in 2007: "I assume that this is why the BBC's coverage of the issue abandoned the pretence of impartiality long ago." (http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2007/jan/31/broadcasting.digitalmedia). So, was he correct, or are you going to feign impartiality today? That would make a refreshing change, so it is such a shame that I won't be listening but somehow I guess that I won't be missing anything. Meanwhile, in a few weeks time I will be able to hear the drone of Jet Skis at the nearby beach. Next...

3) All-Clear from Cancer - Did your outlook change after? : Some sufferers will say "Yes", some will say "No", and good luck and best wishes to anybody afflicted with cancer. However, I'm struggling to work out what there is to discuss and can only assume that this is a "tell us what happened to you" item that serves no purpose other than to fill 30 minutes of valuable Radio 2 air time. Next...

4) Builder Seduced by Housewife - But he didn't like it : I'm not a builder, and this isn't news so who, exactly, is this meant to be of interest to? There is an old saying: Talk Is Cheap, but there is no need to prove it!

Matthew, I remember when you were in charge at Radio 1 and had your "clear out". Is there any chance you could do the same at Radio 2? Here is my suggested list of those that should go:

Jeremy Vine

By the way, the answer to my question to Martin Lewis last week was Joe Royal.

Last night's Radcliffe & Maconie Show will fit 12 till 2 today perfectly and is Radio 2 at its very best.