30/04/12, 01/05/12 and 02/05/12

I've got some catching up to do, and a convenient break in work-related matters allows me some time to do so, so best get on with it...

Monday produced this load of old rubbish...

1) KHALIL DALE - A British aid worker Khalil Dale is beheaded in Pakistan. He has been described as a gentle man who lived to help others in war zones : Absolutely tragic, but what did your discussion change? Anything? At all? Let me guess... Next...

2) RECESSION - We’re joined by BBC Business editor Robert Peston. We ask “is it possible to talk ourselves into a recession?” : The answer to your question is "Yes" and the BBC will be leading the campaign to do so. You said on Ken's show about Peston: Does he have to have that gleam in his eye as he talks about the recession? The answer to that question is also "Yes", simply because he is paid by and works for the BBC. Like you, it is his job to do so. When the figures were released and the floodgates opened at the BBC as you searched frantically for someone to talk down the economy. I can only guess the jubilation when the BBC found a fellow doom monger by the name of Raymond Moan (yes, really), a building supplies businessman from Northern Ireland. Mr Moan was used on every news broadcast from then on with the BBC ignoring anybody with a different view, as usual. Next...

3) RED KITE - Have you been attacked by a red kite? : I was hit by one in a park when I was a child. I cannot remember the colour for sure, but I think it was blue and yellow. Oh... that kind of kite. No, I've never been attacked by one of those. You said on Ken's show when talking about Pomeranians: I don't know what size of dog that is. Is that not the kind of basic information that you would need to discuss this topic? Were you winging it (pun intended) again Jeremy? And from my knowledge of birds of prey, of which we have many around here, the behaviour and description sound more like a buzzard to me. Next...

4) MISSILES - Residents who live in flats in the East End have been told that they could well have an air-to-air missile on their roof to protect the Olympics : East End of where? Oh, you'll be talking about that there London. There was a classic Jeremy Vine open-mouth-and-insert-foot moment on Ken's show when you said: Surface to air is a bit of a misnomer as they will be on top of a block of flats. How is that a misnomer? It is an entirely accurate description. Was this the second time in one programme when you did not have a clue what you were talking about? Sounds like it to me! And can I have a missile on my roof, please? Target coordinates: W1W 2NY.

On to Tuesday then...

1) FORDS - A man is swept away to his death while attempting to drive through a ford during yesterday’s heavy rain on the Berkshire - Hampshire border. Have you got into trouble while attempting to cross a ford? : No, and I loved the video clip on the BBC news page you linked to which clearly showed a water depth gauge. Radio about stupid people, by stupid people, for stupid people. There is no charge if you want to make that your programme's new slogan. Next...

2) HATE - Astronomer Sir Patrick Moore whose fiancée was killed by a Nazi bomb in World War 2 says it’s still OK to hate the Germans. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : The Daily Mail... what better mouthpiece of the sewer press is there to stir up a bit of racial hatred? And what better mouthpiece of sewer radio is there to further promote it than your programme? You said on Ken's show: Amazing how recently the Germans were still bombing London. The last German air raid on London using conventional bombers (not V1 or V2 rockets) was on the 29 January 1944. That'll be 68 years ago. Is that what you count as "recent"? How are they getting on in Mafeking? Next...

3) COMMUNIST MANIFESTO - It’s May Day, International Workers Day. As the Communist Manifesto, the second biggest selling book of all time, is re-published, we ask whether Communism has any relevance in 2012 : It has as much relevance to me as it has always had: None at all. Needless to say, I did not listen but it was obvious from your Twitter feed that somebody called Daniel Frazer was mightily upset with what you were saying. For the benefit of my blog readers I'll repeat what he said here (http://www.twitlonger.com/show/h7usvt, my emphasis):

@theJeremyVine Of all the trash I have heard from the BBC your show today has to be the worst. Railroading Catholicism with Nazism and Capitalism, leaving Communism as the one true haven. No mention of grinding poverty in Socialist states, no mention of forced famines or gulags. No! just standing behind that Nazism had concentration camps so they were the only evil. What is a gulag or Siberian banishment if not a death camp? You are an abhorrent figure, willingly rallying and distorting the truth about the Communist manifesto and Capitalism. By playing Internationale today will you play Die Farne Hoch on the anniversary of the Munich Putsch? The anthem of a lot less brutal regime in Europe at the time? You do indeed fit the billing to partake in the worst waste of public money in all history, with your red brethren at the BBC. It is just that you and your show will end up in the cesspool of history.

He makes some good points! Next...

4) CANNABIS - And finally, Holland starts to close some of its “coffee shops” to tourists. Did you only go to Amsterdam for the cannabis? : I've been to Amsterdam only once and I was only there long enough to change trains, and I've never had anything to do with cannabis.

And finally, on to today...

1) PRESCRIPTIONS - A new report finds 1 in 6 patients are being given inaccurate prescriptions. We talk to someone about the day they spotted a serious error in their prescription : I rarely have prescriptions, and that has never happened to me. However, I do always check to see I have been given the correct stuff before using it. Obviously I am not a member of your Target Audience. Next...

2) RUPERT MURDOCH - Is Rupert Murdoch unfit to run a major international company? We talk to Tom Watson, hot from the MPs' Select Committee report, who says he clearly is : More Murdoch ... YOU LOVE IT! I have no view on Murdoch's competency to run his own business, but I find it interesting that you have Watson on your programme today. A couple of days ago this interesting little tête-à-tête appeared on your Twitter feed:


That all sounds a bit cosy to me. Anyway, it seems Watson might be in trouble (http://order-order.com/2012/05/01/dial-s-for-special-access-watson-revealed-committee-findings-in-book/) as in his book (the one whose "title is best so far this year") he revealed the committee's findings before they were published. I'd bet that you don't ask him about that. Next...

3) MAYORS - 10 towns and cities vote tomorrow on whether they should have mayors. Do you want a mayor for your city? : My nearest city already has one, thanks. Oh, you've missed out the important words "in England". Deliberate misinformation again Jeremy? Next...

4) ROY HODGSON - The new England manager is already being ridiculed for his speech impediment. What makes people think it's ok to ridicule someone with a speech defect? : Who? Oh, this is to do with sport. How boring. It is better to have a speech defect and talk sense than to talk rubbish perfectly, don't you think? You would know.

The Jeremy Vine Show - always ready to talk to (and pay) Labour MPs but please do not call us biased!

26/04/12 and 27/04/12

It is a wet and very windy Sunday afternoon here in North Wales, and with any outside activities cancelled for the day an opportunity arises to send you my comments on the last two programmes from last week.

But first, here is some other stuff...

Jeremy, have you ever heard of a political party called UKIP? If you have then you are probably unique at the BBC as our favourite state broadcaster seems to be doing their best to not just ignore UKIP but almost to deny its existence. There was an interesting article about this phenomenon by Michael Heaver in The Commentator a few days ago (http://www.thecommentator.com/article/1125/bbc_green_with_envy_over_ukip_s_rise) which rightly said: Perhaps I'm just a troubled, paranoid young man. But if the Green Party were outpolling the Liberal Democrats nationally, I think that the BBC would be absolutely all over the story. Mr Heaver is, in my view, absolutely correct. So how about you include UKIP when a relevant topic for discussion occurs? Or did you get the "no UKIP" memo from the BBC's Director of Bias too?

Some BBC news:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9233705/BBC-launches-inquiry-into-payments-to-MPs.html

BBC launches inquiry into payments to MPs

The BBC has launched an inquiry which could lead to a ban on MPs being paid to appear as guests on programmes. The move would affect dozens of politicians who are regularly rewarded for their broadcasts, earning up to £200 plus expenses for a turn on Radio 4's Any Questions or more than £500 for BBC One's This Week.

I have tried my best to find out how much Galloway et al are paid to patronise your listeners... ooops, sorry, I mean... to make a valuable contribution to your programme, but have failed on every attempt due to the unique way in which the BBC is funded and so won't tell the very people who fund a darned thing about how OUR money is spent. A ban on MPs being paid could be interesting. The appearance of a Tory MP on your programme is a rare thing already so that situation will probably not change, but if a ban means that Balls or Prescott are not called upon to give us the benefit of their wisdom on the price of brussel sprouts then so be it. My hope is that only those MPs who are passionate on their subject will appear - for free - and that will nicely separate the motormouths and rent-a-gobs from those who are actually trying to improve the land in which we live. Perhaps you need to update your MP "speed dial" list?

I know you don't do it, but I would like to go back to a couple of recent discussions on your programme...

The first was on 18th April when you were bemoaning the decline of local newspapers. Well, Mr Murdoch Snr has identified the culprit for their demise: The BBC. He gave his views as part of the Leveson Inquiry last week (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/17857574):
Leveson Inquiry: Murdoch rounds on BBC News website

Rupert Murdoch has used his appearance at the Leveson Inquiry into press ethics to reflect on the threat posed to newspapers by the internet. The head of News Corps singled out the BBC News website as a significant threat to local news websites throughout the UK.

So there we go, it is the BBC's fault. I knew it all along. Although only three minutes long, it is a an interesting interview. No wonder the BBC have him down as Public Enemy Number One.

The second was last Wednesday, 25th April, and the discussion on bus lanes and cyclists. Just out of curiosity I listened to the discussion on iPlayer in the hope that somebody might have given you some grief. I knew that you would have John Griffin from Addison Lee as a studio guest, but your other guest was something of a surprise choice. Now I know that you make a pretence of not ramming your own views down your listeners’ and studio guest’s throats and that you usually gets somebody in to do that for you, and it appears that last Wednesday was no exception. So what happened then? Did you do a quick scan down your speed-dial favourites list to find a fellow cyclist? And really, was there nobody else available other than Rent-A-Gob Peter Tatchell? Now Tatchell may or may not have interesting views on all sorts of matters (he was last on your programme talking about the Bahrain F1 race) but I never had him down as an expert on all things cycling. And I was correct! The item turned in to the usual JV Show two-against-one discussion (and I use that word in its loosest possible sense) with you putting words in to Griffin’s mouth, which he had to deny. Tatchell added little other than some hare-brained ideas and presumably collected a completely unjustified payment cheque when he left. This was nothing other than an ambush wrapped up in some very obvious London-only bias.

Moving on to last Thursday then...

1) ZIGZAG ECONOMY - As we fall back into recession we’re told the economy is zigzagging. If you think about your business or employment prospects are they up one day and down the next? : With the BBC celebrating the return to recession, I am going to tell that my employment prospects remain unchanged at non-existent, but that my business still seems to be going nicely. Next...

2) ABORTION - Are you somebody who had an abortion when you were young and now can’t get pregnant or left it too late? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : I've never had an abortion, but I can't get pregnant. Other than read the Daily Mail, what should I do? Next...

3) GORDON BROWN - Rupert Murdoch said that Gordon Brown declared war on his company when The Sun declared war on the Labour government. Whatever was said or wasn’t said, does part of you think - good on Brown for taking on the power of Murdoch : More Murdoch? What a surprise! Not even the smallest part of me thinks that. Perhaps Brown only did it to annoy Tony Blair (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14785501), but I notice that Murdoch is still around and Brown has vanished in to justifed obscurity. Next...

4) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - “I Love Where I Live” continues with love letters to the place you call home. Today we reach Scotland, the highlands and islands, the glens and the great cities of Glasgow and Edinburgh : Nice place, although I've not been there since 2009.

And then there was Friday's offering...

1) WAKING THE WORKSHY - The head of the government’s Troubled Families programme Louise Casey says council officials may need to turn up at people’s homes at 7am to get parents and children out of bed. Do bureaucrats need to wake up the workshy? : There is no mention of waking people up on the news page you link to but it does say: David Cameron says he is determined to "get to grips" with tackling England's most troubled families by pledging a network of troubleshooters. Ah, England ... bless. Not Wales then. Next...

2) SIERRA LEONE - The former Liberian leader Charles Taylor is found guilty of aiding and abetting war crimes in Sierra Leone : Good. Next...

 

3) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - We head to the South of England for the last day of "I Love Where I Live," your love letters to the place you call home : I used to live there, and I'm glad I don't anymore. I loved the way you informed us that the South of England streches from "Southend to Penzance". I'm not sure the proud people of Cornwall will have liked that, I think they prefer the term "West of England". Next...

 

4) FLANNELS - The decline of the flannel. Is it no longer an essential accessory in the bathroom? Find our more in this article from the Telegraph : I still have many and use one every day, but.... errrr... oh, hang on... nearly nodded off there... what was the question again?

 

What have I learnt from the BBC in the past few days? Well, Penzance is in the South of England (you, last week). "April showers" will last until May (BBC weather forecast this morning). Simon Cowell has an "unauthorised autobiography" out (news report on the Danii Minogue upset). And Billy Bragg was born in 1957 but was a "teenager throughout the 1970s" (Johnny Walker this afternoon). Perhaps accuracy is over-rated.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - Oh God, it's back on again tomorrow...

23/04/12, 24/04/12 and 25/04/12

I've been busy over the last couple of days so I have missed my daily updates. However, I'm off to the dentist (only a check-up) soon so find myself with an opportunity to do my thing. Let's start with Monday...

1) MARINE LE PEN - The biggest surprise of the French elections is that one in five voted for the national front candidate Marine Le Pen. What accounts for the rise of the far right in France? : It is well-known that the BBC finds any political view other than left of centre to be totally abhorent. Like London, I view France as a place to get through as quickly as possible on my way to somewhere much nicer. And my interest ends there. Next...

2) BLINDNESS IN ONE EYE - A diplomat loses an eye in a vicious attack. Are you someone who has had to cope with just one eye? : How awful, but I have not been that unfortunate. Next...

3) CARE WORKER - A family secretly film their mother being slapped by a care home worker. How can this happen in a care home that’s been rated ‘excellent’? : I've no idea, but I note that "All five main care workers filmed by Jane Worroll were sacked" so hopefully it will not happen again. But then this was all just a promotion for Monday's edition of Panorama, wasn't it? Next...

4) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - All this week Radio 2 wants to hear why you love where you live. We will be hearing your 1 minute love letters about your town, village or city : Yeah, whatever.

So that was Monday. Sounds dire. Was Tuesday any better?

1) POSHNESS - Conservative MP Nadine Dorries says that Cameron and Osborne are “arrogant posh boys” who “don’t know the price of milk”. Does poshness matter anyway? : Ah yes, a good old-fashioned Jeremy Vine Show Character Assassination. It's been a while since you did one of those. I take it that this was as one-sided as all of the others? Aside from that, is a bit of name-calling really "news", especially when bearing in mind the current legal matters entangling Peter Hain (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-17822347) and Jack Straw (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17746561 and http://order-order.com/2012/04/24/secretary-of-state-spook-connection/). Next...

2) MEAT THEFT - There’s been a rise in the theft of meat both from supermarkets and from the ‘back of lorries’. Is this something you’ve witnessed? Find out more from the Financial Times: No. And the link you provided is hidden behind a "pay wall". You may wish to waste my TV licence tax money on a subscription, but I do not. Next...

3) CLAIRE SQUIRES - Claire Squires ran the marathon to raise money for the Samaritans in memory of her brother. She collapsed and died near the end. Since then, thousands of people have donated money in her memory : Tragic. Did you discuss banning marathons? If not, why not? Next...

4) LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE - Radio 2’s homage to every nook and cranny and of the UK continues. Today, ‘I Love Where I Live’ moves to Wales and Northern Ireland. There’s still time to write your one minute love letter, to where you live : Is there really. Great.

And while I'm at it, I may as well dismiss today's show as well...

1) RUSSELL BRAND - Did you see Russell Brand give evidence on drug abuse to MPs yesterday? He called for people to have more compassion for drug addicts, but were you somebody who said what right did he have to be there in the first place? : Who? Oh, him. My answers are no, and no. This is a former Radio 2 colleague you are talking about here, have you no respect? Me neither. Next...

2) BUS LANES & CYCLISTS - The man that runs one of Britain’s biggest cab firms says that minicabs should be allowed in bus lanes and cyclists should be made to pay road tax : I have no idea where my nearest bus lane is, in England probably, but your Twitter feed is full of references to your endeavours with a bicycle around London, so I fail to see how you could possibly conduct an unbiased discussion on this topic today. Your BBC colleague Stuart Hughes launched a Twitter attack on the minicab company concerned and this has been fully documented elsewhere (http://biased-bbc.com/2012/04/20/taxi-2/ and http://biased-bbc.com/2012/04/24/taxi-update/) and this, if nothing else, illustrates perfectly the kind of bias that permeates through the BBC when somebody there uses their position to further their own views. As for me, one day many years ago I was stopped at traffic lights on the Euston Road in London and a cyclist rammed in to the back of my car. I got out and the cyclist picked himself up off the road and said "Sorry mate, I didn't see you". What he meant was he wasn't actually looking where he was going. The rear bumper and boot lid on my car were both dented, but the cyclist's bike appeared to be undamaged. I know that because he then rode off at high speed and left me with the repair bill. I'll leave you to guess what my view of cyclists is ... can you manage that? I'll listen to this on the iPlayer later as I hope that the chap from the minicab company gives you some grief. Next...

3) MURDOCH - Rupert Murdoch gives evidence at the Leveson Inquiry today as his son leaves cabinet minister Jeremy Hunt’s career hanging by a thread : Murdoch appears at Leveson, and you are all over it like. Yet back in January (25th) you chose to ignore the evidence given by the Daily Mail, the Daily Mirror and our beloved BBC. Bias, bias, bias! Any news reporter worthy of his trade would give equal coverage to ALL of the news organisations involved, but you only choose to report on Murdoch. Your choice, or a directive from On High? Next...

 

4) LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE - ‘I Love Where I Live’ heads to the middle of England today. We hear your one minute love letters to the place you love : WTF?

 

And at 12:08 the Off switch does its job.

 

It was interesting to hear Chris Evans's comments this morning on the forthcoming repeat of 2DAY. "We loved it, you loved it", he said. That is not my recollection of last year's disasterous day when hordes of R2 listeners found that other radio stations are available. And your beloved newspapers slated it too. But the BBC always know best, don't they?

The Jeremy Vine show - telling you the news that WE want you to hear

20/04/12

Good afternoon. Here is the news from the BBC:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17755357

Clock change could leave teenagers more sleepy

Teenagers can suffer severe sleep deprivation when the clocks change, say researchers at the University of Surrey. As this study was small, nine students in total, Mrs Bower says further research is needed.

A survey of just nine students? Thank goodness the BBC brought this to our attention.

http://www.licensemag.com/licensemag/Entertainment/BBC-Signs-Dancing-Deal-with-Avon/ArticleStandard/Article/detail/769804

BBC Signs Dancing Deal with AvonBBC Worldwide Consumer Products has signed a deal with Avon to produce the first range of fragrances based on Dancing with the Stars, the global brand of BBC One’s “Strictly Come Dancing” series.

Mmmm... Eau D'Sweat sounds delightful. Put me down for a few bottles.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9214163/PLS-PIC-AND-PUB-BBC-staff-could-strike-over-Jubilee-weekend.html

BBC staff 'could strike over Jubilee weekend'

BBC staff are to be balloted for strike action that unions warn could disrupt coverage of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations in June.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2132034/Will-miss-Queens-Jubilee-BBC-staff-balloted-strikes-threaten-coverage-celebration.html

Will we miss the Queen's Jubilee? BBC staff balloted for strikes which could threaten coverage of celebration

They are demanding an increase of  2 per cent above the Retail Price Index rate of inflation, which is currently 3.6 per cent.

 

As you BBC people say: Other broadcasters are available, and free ones at that. Any chance that they could go on strike permanently? They could all be sacked then.

http://www.scotsman.com/edinburgh-evening-news/education/pupil-12-takes-bbc-to-task-over-dumbed-down-current-affairs-1-2246042

Pupil, 12, takes BBC to task over ‘dumbed down’ current affairs

Lachlann, who is in year seven at the private Loretto School in Musselburgh, aired his concerns that Newsround, the 40-year-old news programme, is celebrity news-heavy and “does not give you the in-depth news”. He explained his desire for a greater focus on current affairs, suggesting that the Newsround editors were underestimating the audience and said there was a need for a children’s news programme aimed at the 12-16 age group.

Good for him! I wonder what he thinks of your programme.

And finally, more "news" aimed at children:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/17744487

'Fracking' for gas to carry on, leaving people angry

A controversial way of getting gas from underground will start again, even though some people argue it's not safe. The government reckons it could be also be used in power stations in future, which would mean the UK wouldn't depend on getting expensive fuel from other countries. But some people think fracking could pollute water and others say tidal energy and wind energy are much better options.

 

Go on BBC, keep ramming one side of the argument down their throats. Impartial? No. Unbiased? No. Sensationalist? Yes!

 

 

 

I've just had a quick listen to yesterday's show and you going on about Twitter. Some quotes from you:

"Email sounds old fashioned" - Yet it is the ONLY form of immediate written communication that I can have with your programme (i.e. NOT YOU personally!) because that is what YOU personally have decided. I have absolutely no desire to interact with YOU, but I would like to interact with YOUR PROGRAMME.

"You can tweet me at @theJeremyVine" - No, I can't, because you have blocked me from doing so.

"Here is the Radio 2 guide to Twitter" - Yet no mention of blocking. How odd.

"Tweet from somebody called Kristian, with a K, Webb, and there's a swear word in here so I won't read it: Kindly f*** off you imbecile. You've got all the intelligence of a cancerous polyp. That's a message from him to me" - Have you blocked him? One thing I have never done is resort to such language. All I have done is challenge and question what you do with a genuine desire to discuss, but you block me for daring to do so. Checking through other tweets to you yesterday I see that I am not alone in being blocked by you. Am I one of the "lunatics" that you mentioned?

Anyway, enough of your hypocrisy and blatant double standards, let's look at what I am missing today...

1) BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX - Given the violence and unrest in Bahrain is it right that the Grand Prix goes ahead? : Sport (allegedly), in a country I have never visited, and with Tatchell in the studio to share his wisdom with your listeners. Let me know if and when this discussion, or Tatchell's actions, change anything, will you? I'll be asleep in a corner, somewhere. Next...

2) PICKPOCKETING - A crime survey suggests that there has been a serious increase in pickpocketing. We give you Radio 2’s guide to how to protect yourself from being pickpocketed : I was pickpocketed on a packed Paris RER train a few years ago, simply because of my own stupidity. Rest assured, it will not happen again. Next...

3) HOSEPIPE BAN - Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink, or rather, don’t use your hosepipe! Martin Lewis tells us how to save water and save money : There is no hosepipe ban here. Having a water meter (by choice) and knowing that I am paying for every drop concentrates the mind wonderfully and we just do not waste water. Two rainwater butts helps too. I don't think I need to listen, do I? Next...

4) STANDING - David Cameron says children should stand up when their parents enter the room. Is this a Tory leader out of touch or a return to good old-fashioned manners? Fing out more in this article from the Telegraph : Fing? Do you actually read the pages you link to? The Telegraph article clearly states: The Prime Minister made the remarks in a speech praising the return of “real discipline” to British schools. He said reforms to the education system would lead to “fantastic outcomes” like children who observe the old-fashioned practice of rising in the presence of an adult. Having listened to you just after 12:00 today you seem to be under the illusion that Cameron would like to see this in family homes which, according to your source, is incorrect. Again, you are just making this stuff up, aren't you?

The Jeremy Vine Show - News Entertainment at its best

Today's show 19/03/12

Hello!

According to Twitter, Jeremy is away recording Eggheads, so welcome Assmah for your first stint standing in for The Great One.

A quick introduction: I write to Jeremy every day and explain why the four topics for discussion are largely irrelevant to me, together with relevant topics that I would like him to discuss - and which he completely ignores with almost 100% reliability. You can read my past communications here: http://lunchtimeloather.blogspot.co.uk/

So, what are you discussing today? Let's see, and I'll be easy on you...

1) FABRICE MUAMBA - The Bolton footballer Fabrice Muamba is still lying critically ill in hospital after suffering a cardiac arrest on the football pitch on Saturday. How could it happen that an incredibly fit young footballer suffers such a catastrophic attack? : I'll be honest and say that I had never heard of him or this unfortunate incident until yesterday evening. Let us hope that he makes a full recovery. Next...

2) WELFARE REFORMS - The government wants to reform the welfare system so it’s better to work than receive benefit. But we speak to a very worried single mum who says that she will lose tax credits and be so poor she’ll barely be able to feed her son : I am not a single mother, I don't receive any benefits, I don't have any children and I work for what I earn. Next...

3) ORKNEY AND SHETLAND - And finally, as the debate rages over Scottish independence, we speak to someone from Orkney and Shetland who says that even if Scotland goes independent, these islands should remain part of the UK. Findd out more from this article in the Aberdeen Press and Journal : I'm not sure why item number 3 starts with "And finally..." (or includes the word "Findd"), but I have promised the BBC Trust that I won't complain about poor updating of your web page in future. As a resident of Wales, I hope that I will be able to vote on whether Scotland goes independent. After all, it will affect us all - not just the residents of Scotland. Next...

4) PRIVATISING ROADS - The government wants to bring in a form of privatisation for our roads. Will this result in a fast lane for rich people only? : The first paragraph of the BBC news page you link to tells me all I need to know: David Cameron is expected to call for much more private investment in England's road network. I rarely visit England, and often choose to use the M6 Toll in preference to slogging through Birmingham. However, I would not class myself as "rich". Please do not do as Jeremy does and ignore the middle ground.

You see? That's how it goes. I'll be listening to 6 Music instead. More tomorrow!

The Jeremy Vine Show - but not for the next two weeks

Today's show 13/03/12

Twitter is a wonderful thing, but my concerns over its use by the BBC continue with particular regard to "personal" and "official" Twitter accounts used by BBC staff. My own view is that somebody in your position Jeremy should have two accounts: one for interaction with their eponymously named radio programme, and one for their personal life. I would choose to follow the former as I wish to be able to interact with you as a broadcaster and to be able to comment on the topics you raise. Not having any interest in football, other sports, your cycling in London experiences, etc., I would have no wish to follow your personal account - if you had one. After all why would I want to know when you may be going to an athletics event, who you may be buying the tickets from and how much (how much!?!?!?!) you would be paying for them? Again, perhaps I should mention this in my letter to the BBC Trust.

Before we move on to today's programme, here is the latest news from the BBC:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2113300/BBC-spends-thousands-giving-staff-lucrative-pay-offs--hires-range-salaries-perks-pensions.html

BBC spends thousands giving staff lucrative pay-offs... then re-hires them with full range of perks and pensions on top of new salaries

The BBC has re-hired six members of staff less than two years after they were given lucrative redundancy pay-offs. The six are among more than 1,000 employees who received severance packages worth up to hundreds of thousands of pounds after being made redundant in the past two years. But they are now back at the BBC on a full-time basis, enjoying a full range of perks and pension benefits on top of their new salaries.

I'm sure that somebody at the BBC thinks this is a good use of my money. I, of course, beg to differ.

Earlier this month you discussed the suicide of David Rathband, and in January you discussed the suicide of Gary Speed. This topic is bound to come up again, so perhaps you would like to include this tragedy in your next discussion:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2113907/BBC-killed-husband-Bridalwear-shop-owner-says-investigation-broadcast-consumer-affairs-led-suicide.html

BBC killed my husband: Brides' shop owner says consumer affairs show investigation led to his suicide

Devoted husband Alan Edwards was devastated after his wife Carolyn’s struggling bridal wear company was featured on a BBC consumer affairs show. Mrs Edwards told the inquest: 'When X-ray called I told them I was dealing with it and didn’t want to talk about it. Next thing I knew I was woken at 8am by a hammering on the door. It was a huge shock - I thought something was really wrong". Carmarthenshire Coroner Mark Layton recorded a suicide verdict and said the programme may have led to the tragedy. After the hearing in Llanelli, Mr Edward's daughter Kirsty said her family had been 'bullied' by the BBC and her father had been unable to live with the shame of appearing on the show. 'One day I’m going to have children and I’m going to have to tell them why they haven’t got a granddad. And it’s all because my dad was bullied by the BBC and the people working on this show.'

A quick scan of today's news (sic) menu shows that there is nothing of interest for me today - again - so let me explain why...

 

1) HOSEPIPE BAN - As hosepipe bans are brought into large parts of the south and east of the country, we ask: how will the ban affect you? : Ahhhh, London and the South East. I remember them well. It was all a long time ago though as I moved to the West Midlands in 1984 and have rarely returned to the South East since. There is no hosepipe ban here in North Wales and so my answer to your question is: It won't. You said on Ken's show, "Somebody said it rains less here than it does in Dallas, but I wouldn't want to repeat that". Was that just deliberate misinformation then? Next...

2) DIVORCE - After you divorced, did you take care in exposing your children to your relationships? : I don't have any children from my first or current (second) marriages. Next...

3) HIP REPLACEMENTS - Medical experts warn against metal on metal hip replacements. Did your hip replacement go wrong? : I've never had a hip replacement. Next...

4) MY LAI MASSACRE - Following the killings in Afghanistan, how many people remember the My Lai massacre in Vietnam where America lost the battle for hearts and minds? : How many? Lots, probably. Unfortunately I am not one of them. I know of it, but I don't remember it. The massacre occurred in March 1968, and I was less than 10 years old at the time. You would have been approaching your third birthday.

 

Some days you make my life so easy!

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - perfect for divorced Londoners aged over 60 with children and knackered hips

Today's show 29/02/12

29th February ... perhaps this will be the day that you FINALLY talk about something that interests or affects me. Let's see...

1) ELDERLY CARE - A landmark report on elderly care says that calling older patients "dear" without permission could be as bad as racism : The second paragraph of the BBC news page you link to tells me all I need to know: The recommendation was one of a series made by the Commission on Improving Dignity in Care for Older People to improve standards in hospitals and care homes in England. England, not Wales. Next...

2) MURDER - We speak to someone who tells us what it was like having to bring up two small daughters on his own after his wife was murdered : This must have been extremely difficult but we know, from listening to you on Ken's show, that this particular "someone" is/was a BBC employee, and I have found that he has a book describing his experiences published tomorrow. What a shame you could not get "someone" in from The Real World in which the rest of us live. Next...

3) SLEEPOVERS - A listener gets in touch to say her grandchildren have been traumatised by a sleepover where they watched a horror film : Oh bless. Wrap them up in some cotton wool and give them a bucket of chicken nuggets and some sugary drinks, they'll be fine. If I promise to listen to your programme, could I get in touch to tell you how traumatised I have been by your programme? By the way, in case you hadn't noticed, this isn't news. Next...

 

4) WAITER DISASTER - And have you ever suffered a waiter disaster? Five glasses of beer are accidentally spilt down the back of the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel : No, I have not. You said on Ken's show, "You must look at this video, it is so funny". I've seen it and did not find it funny at all. I do find it somewhat pathetic that you consider this to be a suitable topic for your programme though. Want to see some absolutely hilarious videos? Try these:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7JX8D1Kb88 - what were you thinking?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-bi4vbYlDIo - a JV Show classic, what was she on?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE5csrMU96w - proving yet again that you will not tolerate any dissenting point of view

 

Looks like I will be disappointed again and I will have to satisfy my craving for quality radio programming over at 6 Music - again.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - the radio equivalent of watching paint dry

Today's show 27/02/12

Monday morning again, and let's start in the usual way with a story that you probably won't be covering today, or any other day...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2106177/Now-theres-bonus-deadbeats.html
Now there's a bonus for deadbeats

... The report, by veteran commercial radio executive John Myers, is yet to be published but I’m told it reveals an extraordinary arrangement with regard to BBC staff wages. Apparently, any employee at one of the 40 local radio stations (which employ a total of 3,000 people) who has gone five years without promotion will receive a cheque for £4,600 — which is described as ‘disappointment’ money. So let’s get this right. You are hopeless at your job and are given no incentive by your bosses to improve because you will still automatically pick up a nice bonus cheque.

I've been disappointed by the BBC for years, so where is my cheque?

I think today's items can be dealt with quickly today as not one of them is relevant to me...

1) SYRIA - The wife of a British photographer trapped in Syria says everything should be done to get him out, but what if that risks other lives? : Are you expecting me to have any sympathy for a journalist? Dream on. He knew the risks. But what are you going to do about his situation? Oh yes, absolutely nothing. But you are going to talk about it, which is nice. Meanwhile, innocent civilians are being killed in Syria, yet they are not as newsworthy as a journalist who went there of his own free will - apparently. Next...

2) SCHMALLENBERG VIRUS - The lambing season is already underway in some places, but farms have been hit by the Schmallenberg virus, carried by midges from Germany : As I type this, I can look out of my window and see sheep in the field across the road from my home. The virus sounds horrible, and I can sympathise with the farmers involved. However, I am not a sheep farmer and I have learnt all I need to know from the DEFRA web site (http://www.defra.gov.uk/animal-diseases/a-z/schmallenberg-virus/). Next...

3) SOCIALIST WORKERS PARTY - Has the government’s workfare scheme effectively been taken apart by the Socialist Workers Party? Some say it’s a rotten policy and that’s fair enough, but others say they’ve had too much influence : There is, as you well know, another organisation that has had too much influence on the "workfare" scheme. That organisation is your beloved BBC which seems to be hell-bent on rubbishing workfare at every possible opportunity. This has grown to the extent that an MP is now making a formal complaint (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2106601/Tories-order-police-halt-workfare-demos-MP-makes-formal-protest-BBC-bias-favour-hard-Left-militants.html) about biased BBC workfare reporting. I can only hope that her complaint goes further than the mythical Audience Log where most of mine end up. I remain self-employed and would not qualify to join the workfare scheme. Next...

4) CHIMNEY FIRES - After a spate of chimney fires in Devon — 39 in a week! — we find out why they start and how to prevent them : One of the things that is needed for a chimney fire is a chimney. Can you guess how many we have? Let me give you a clue: It is a round number less than one.

The Jeremy Vine Show - believe us when we say "journalists are special"

UPDATE:

Just noticed on your Twitter feed that the first story has changed and the photographer trapped in Syria is no longer news. I bet his wife will be delighted! Anyway, we now have this drivel instead:

EYESORES - A bungalow with a beautiful view has been put up for sale on the island of Anglesey. The only trouble is – the estate agent’s photo doesn’t show a horrible huge TV mast behind it. However, maybe your lovely house is next to an eyesore but you just don’t care. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : It isn't, and if there had been an eyesore here I am sure that I would have seen it before purchasing. Meanwhile, I am sure the estate agent will be grateful for the free publicity. And it is LLANDONNA, and not LLANDONA as you put on Twitter.

Today's show 21/02/12

Ooohhh.... you've given me plenty to pull to pieces today, so thanks for that...

1) CONFRONTING ANDREW LANSLEY - An angry woman, June Hautot, confronts the health secretary Andrew Lansley over the government’s NHS bill. Who did you have sympathy with? We talk to Gillian Duffy, who famously confronted Gordon Brown : You said on Zoe's show "She (Hautot) had been in a union, I think". You think? Didn't you bother to check your own BBC news pages? If you'd have looked at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17093082 you would see "One woman, June Hautot, a former Unison rep, barred his way...". Unlike yourself, I have done my research and it was Guido Fawkes who provided the answers that I was looking for, and you couldn't be bothered to find. Take a look at http://order-order.com/2012/02/20/scargills-granny-lansley-baiter-is-seasoned-lefty-agitator/ and you will find:
June Hautot, a former Unison rep, told the Workers Revolutionary Party magazine last month: "I’m all for occupations. That’s our only ammunition to stop closures".
She also once attempted to sue Wandsworth Council over plans to develop Battersea Power Station, but her looney-left activism doesn’t stop there. According to the Glasgow Herald in 1997 she “shared a cell with Mrs Scargill”after she was arrested with Arthur’s wife protesting open cast mines. It was inevitable this seasoned activist was going to have her moment.

In my mind, this makes her confrontation with Lansley nothing more than a publicity stunt, so my sympathies certainly do not lie with her. And it comes as no surprise to see Gillian Duffy back on your programme. After all, there is nothing quite like reliving past Jeremy Vine Show glories, is there? It is just such a shame that you won't let people confront you in the same way as Hautot confronted Lansley. Next...

2) DROUGHT - A drought has been declared in much of England. Should England be made to pay for the water it gets from Wales? : You mentioned the Tryweryn Reservoir and the flooding of Capel Celyn on Zoe's show, and "the church is under water". No, it isn't. All of the buildings were demolished before the valley was flooded. The contents of the church graveyard was removed and reinterred on the shore, and a new building provided as a memorial. Tryweryn is not the only man-made reservoir here in Wales built by the English using parliamentary powers to provide England with water, and with little say for the Welsh residents affected. Thirty five out of thirty six Welsh MPs opposed the bill to construct Tryweryn, yet still it was passed. As a result the creation of this reservoir played a big part in the desire for Welsh self-governance. Moving away from our water, I find it very interesting to see the BBC spinning the drought scare for the south east, and I was expecting you to wheel out the "climate change" argument, but it seems as though you have resisted that temptation. In the news bulletins I have heard so far, the BBC has consistently failed to point out we get plenty of rain in the UK and the south east, but we just don't catch enough of it. Can you remember when the last new reservoir was built anywhere near that there London? I can't, yet the south east has had a massive rise in population and industry over the last 15 years. The south east doesn't need more rain - it needs more storage! And here in Wales we have sufficient water for our needs, thanks. Next...

3) MALE RAPE VICTIMS - We discuss the campaign to encourage men to be more open about male rape. Find out more from Survivors UK : Thankfully Jeremy, this has never happened to me. Next...

4) SPIDERS - Finally, a man collapses after being bitten ten times by a rare spider in Toys R Us. Find out more in this article from the Mirror : The Mirror? What's wrong with the good old ever-reliable Daily Mail, he asked sarcastically? They have covered it and give a little bit more information (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2103818/Father-collapses-bitten-10-times-UKs-venomous-spider-falls-HOOD.html), in particular: "Mr Galton, from Southampton, Hampshire, had been aware of several stings during the day and had assumed they had come from a bee.". Several stings? And he had not bothered to look what was causing them? Am I supposed to have some sympathy with this idiot? The toy shop connection is also completely bogus, and I fail to see its relevance. Well done!

The Jeremy Vine Show - long overdue for a confrontation

Today's show 15/02/12

Years ago, when I lived in England, I remember the furore that erupted when our county council made a load of staff redundant with huge severance payments on a Friday, and then re-employed them the following Monday. You have probably heard of similar cases, so how about discussing this on your programme one day? I'd listen to that! And here are some recent examples of similar behaviour by a public-funded body that you could use to highlight this practice:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9083320/BBCs-redundancy-payouts-criticised-as-staff-get-old-jobs-back.html

BBC's redundancy payouts criticised as staff get old jobs back

The BBC has been criticised after spending £4million making staff redundant - only for nearly half of them to continue working as normal.
The money was paid to around 70 workers as compensation when the corporation revealed plans to relocate their posts north to Salford in the Midlands. But after accepting the redundancy money - reported to be £57,000 each, on average - it is understood that some 17 workers simply carried on in the same jobs.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2101282/Half-BBC-staff-pocketed-4m-pay-carried-working-job.html

Half of BBC staff who pocketed £4m pay-off carried on working in the same job

The BBC spent £4million laying off staff – only for nearly half of them to continue working as normal. The money was paid to around 70 workers as compensation because their posts were being relocated north to Salford. But after accepting the ‘redundancy’ money – £57,000 each, on average – about 17 of them simply carried on in the same jobs, it is understood.

So, I'll look forward to that. Any idea when you might talk about it?

Alternatively, you could have talked about this one:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-17038937

Supreme Court upholds BBC's refusal on Israel report

The UK Supreme Court has rejected an appeal against the BBC's refusal to publish a report into its coverage of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. ... He had asked for the 2004 Balen Report to be disclosed under the Freedom of Information Act. However, the BBC argued that it was exempt from the Act with regard to information it held for the purposes of "journalism, art or literature". Mr Sugar, who died of cancer last year aged 61, had wanted to know whether the report supported his claim that the corporation was biased against Israel.

 

Ah, those pesky words crop up again: for the purposes of journalism, art or literature. I've come up against that particular barricade myself in connection with my FOI requests about your programme. Just remind me again, who is the publicly-funded BBC accountable to? And why does it keep sooooo much stuff secret?

You said on Ken's show earlier, "I was in the cafe this morning looking at the papers" and went on to claim that this was research. This, Jeremy, explains a lot. I am left to wonder which particular rag is at the top of the pile, although I feel sure it will be either the Daily Mail or The Guardian, and with the Daily Express at the bottom of the pile and never looked at.

And it was good to hear Ken question the validity of TV Licences. Now there is a topic worthy of discussion one day, as I have suggested many, many times before. But not today, of course, and instead we have this stuff which you think might possibly be of interest to me. Oh, how wrong you are...

1) ALCOHOL ABUSE - David Cameron wants more to be done to cut alcohol abuse in England. If you're a parent, how did you attempt to stop your teenager binge-drinking? : I don't drink alcohol. I don't live in England. I am not a parent. I do not have a teenager. How less relevant is it possible to be? Next...

2) BRITAIN'S MOST HONEST MAN? - The most honest man in Britain? A street cleaner finds a £21,000 Rolex watch and hands it in to the police : Slow news day, is it? Not mentioned by you on Ken's show, or on the BBC news web page, was the snippet of information that was included on R2's 08:00 news this morning, and that was that the finder gets to keep the watch if it is not claimed in a set number of days, so it will either go back to its owner or back to the finder. I shall remain puzzled why you think this news. Next...

3) SUDDEN SIGHT LOSS - We discuss sudden sight loss and meet a man who went blind overnight : Sounds terrible, in all sorts of ways. Next...

4) RANGERS - What's the future for Rangers as the iconic Scottish club enters administration? : I cannot find words to express how little I care about this.

 

Nothing for me again today then ... perhaps I need to artificially create some issues that affect me so that you can talk about them. Or perhaps not.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - no, football IS news, no really, it is!

Today's show 13/02/12

Monday morning, and let's deal the important business first. While having lunch with my parents yesterday my Mum said about my blog, "You are very naughty, leave the poor man alone". I have given her suggestion due consideration and will act accordingly. Business as normal then...

It was a busy day on my blog on Friday with over 250 visitors. My usage statistics tell me that a lot of these arrived at my site following some comments I made on a BBC news page containing guidance for journalists when using Twitter. My comments were posted without modification and included a link to my blog. How nice of the BBC to promote it ... thank you!

Let's continue with a quick look at the news stories you won't be covering today. You have a choice of source for the first one...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9073142/BBC-buried-Savile-sex-abuse-claims-to-save-its-reputation.html

BBC 'buried Savile sex abuse claims to save its reputation’

The BBC shelved a Newsnight investigation into allegations that Sir Jimmy Savile sexually abused a teenage girl in his dressing room at Television Centre, it has emerged.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2099141/BBC-shelved-Savile-sex-abuse-investigation-protect-reputation.html

BBC shelved Jimmy Savile sex abuse investigation 'to protect its own reputation'

The BBC shelved a Newsnight investigation into allegations that Sir Jimmy Savile sexually abused teenage girls at its studios, it has been revealed.

There is not a lot that can be done now about any alleged misdemeanours that Mr Savile may have committed, but the BBC's behaviour is incredible. This is nothing more than a cover-up of a story in which the BBC has already invested TV Licence Poll Tax payers' money, and all for nothing. As for their reputation, this cover-up does not damage the BBC's reputation - it enhances it! It reinforces the view held by many that the BBC only tells its viewers and listeners what it wants to broadcast: a filtered, manipulated, sanitised and biased version of what is actually "news". And, of course, your programme is no different.

Talking of filtered, manipulated, sanitised and biased news, here is a story from the Daily Mail...
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2099922/BBCs-Weather-Test-washout-bid-check-accuracy-forecasts-vanishes-storm-wrangling-predicted.html

BBC's Weather Test washout: Bid to check accuracy of forecasts vanishes in storm of wrangling that no one predicted

A row between weathermen threatens to wreck a BBC-funded project to test the accuracy of Britain’s weather forecasts. The study, estimated to have cost tens of thousands of pounds of licence fee payers’ money, has been devised by the BBC’s senior environment analyst, Roger Harrabin. But seven of the eight forecasters and bodies asked to take part have not agreed, with two blaming Mr Harrabin for undermining the study’s credibility, claiming that his reputation is tarnished by his close links to green groups who believe in man-made climate change.

While I take anything that Harrabin tells me with a lorry load of scepticism, these checks are actually a good idea. However, they must be run by a trustworthy and impartial body, and the BBC is neither of those.

And finally...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9074284/BBC-spends-19000-treating-stressed-out-staff-at-The-Priory.html

BBC spends £19,000 treating stressed out staff at The Priory

The BBC would not reveal whether executives were referred to the centre for mental health issues or for drug addiction, but confirmed it had spent £18,949 on treatments in 2010 and 2011 because there was a “compelling” business reason to do so. However, it is understood that the corporation agreed to spend licence fee payers’ money on the care centre because its staff were “severely stressed” because of a series of initiatives which had not gone according to plan, and the pressures of cost cutting. Matthew Elliott, chief executive of the TaxPayers' Alliance, said: ... “Most BBC viewers can't afford to convalesce at this kind of retreat. The NHS is good enough for licence-fee payers, so it should be good enough for BBC staff too."

Bless. I used to have a stressful job, but I was never offered treatment of this kind. Perhaps that was because my employers at that time did not have the advantage of the "unique way in which the BBC is funded".

Your Twitter feed has just told me that you will not be covering the arrests of various hacks from The Sun today (tomorrow maybe?) and instead we will have to endure this load of tosh instead...

1) GREECE - Violence flares in Greece as its parliament passes an unpopular austerity bill as part of the bailout deal. What is life like for ordinary Greeks as economic hardship bites?: I cannot imagine. I was fully aware that it was kicking off in Athens last night, but what a shame that BBC TV News could not be bothered to tell me anything about it. The early evening broadcast spent over 6 minutes (out of 15) telling me that some drug raddled former celebrity had achieved her ultimate ambition, and yet devoted less than 90 seconds to a major uprising in a European capital that could well have an affect on every country in the EU. It was clear which story was most important to the programme editor, but this only continues to show the deep corruption of "public service" broadcasting of real news which is just another facet of the BBC's devaluing of its audience as so-called celebrities steal the headlines. Later coverage again seemed to spend more time covering the BAFTAs than anything happening in Greece. The BBC is in receipt of millions of pounds from the EU, so perhaps the images of Athens ablaze are seen as unhelpful while the possible death of democracy is taking place. From what I saw, the BBC were unable to find anyone who could point out that unelected technocrats imposing Germanic austerity against the will of the Greek people is not really "democracy" in the first place. Your chat with Ken earlier failed to convince me that your programme will be any different to what I saw, or didn't see, last night. Next...

2) FROZEN RIVER - A man who stripped down to his underwear and crawled across a frozen river to rescue his trapped dog has been condemned by firefighters : There is no ice here, we don't have a dog, and I have more sense in my little finger. Next...

3) WHITNEY HOUSTON - We reflect on the death of one of the most celebrated female singers of all time, Whitney Houston : I always knew that astronaut Jim Lovell's famous line would always have another meaning one day. Whitney's records used to shoot-up the charts with such speed. When I heard the news I couldn’t help but crack up with emotion and it was nothing like ecstacy. She was a real heroin. It’s such a blow. She really made a hash of things though and her life just went to pot. Someone should have kept tabs on her. Can you tell I care as much about her now as I did on Friday? Next...

4) SPITTING - Enfield in north London wants to be the first area in the country to ban spitting in public : I don't spit, and I am not aware of Gwynedd council taking the same measures. However, if I do start spitting, and if I ever go to Enfield, I shall consider myself educated by your programme. Cheers!

The Jeremy Vine Show - enough to make anybody spit

Today's show 08/02/12

An interesting story appeared in your beloved Dead Tree Press yesterday concerning one of your BBC colleagues. It was in the Daily Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9065587/BBC-newsreader-Jane-Hill-calls-for-dress-allowance.html) and your favourite Daily Mail (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2097519/BBC-newsreader-Jane-Hill-demands-clothing-allowance-female-presenters.html). Knowing how accurate and unsensationalist the Mail's reporting is (!) I shall quote from that particular organ:
BBC newsreader demands dress allowance despite earning up to £100,000-a-year

Jane Hill – who earns between £80,000 and £100,000 a year – said her male counterparts need only to change their ties, while a woman’s appearance on screen is more important now than ever. She said: ‘It’s expensive… as we have to buy all our own clothes. We’re criticised if we keep wearing the same thing, whereas male hosts only need new ties. Until that changes, we should get a dress allowance.’

I take great exception to the use of the word "earning". She may be paid £100,000 a year, but she and many other BBC talking news heads (Paxman and yourself included) certainly do not earn it. But it is not surprising to see that she is another example of a BBC face who has no knowledge of The Real World in which the rest of us live, where all kinds of working people have to buy their own workwear. One rule for the BBC, and one rule for the rest of us. Yes, that will be it. Again.

11:45, and I'm just waiting for you to update the web page...

000000000000000000000000000000000000 vccccccc   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx      ..................hhhhhhhhhhh

That was a valued contribution from one of our cats as she walked across my keyboard. And in that one sentence she made more sense than anything George Galloway has ever contributed to your programme.

12:00, programme has started, and no web page update, so I shall have to type this while watching PMQs. Miliband really is rubbish, isn't he? Something needs to be done.

Oh, here we go...

1) NHS - The government is in a last ditch attempt to get its NHS reforms intact through the House of Lords today : From the BBC news page you link to: Controversial plans to overhaul the NHS in England return to the Lords later. Ah yes, England. Not Wales. We didn't have a big freeze here either. Next...

2) ABU QATADA - We can’t lock him up, we can’t extradite him, we speak to someone today who says its time to befriend Abu Qatada. Would you have the extremist cleric in your book club? : You know Jeremy, the only reason I write this stuff every day is to ridicule your programme and highlight its meaningless to me. Sometimes you make it very difficult for me, but on other occasions - like today - you make it very, very easy. My answer to your question might be "Yes", but I am not a member of a book club. Does that mean I don't need to listen? Oh good. Next...

3) TATTOO PARLOURS - A tattoo parlour in Ampthill has been sent hate mail. Some residents suggest that having a tattooist lowers the tone of the town. Find out more from Bedford Today : Our nearest town (not Ampthill) has a tattoo parlour. I am not aware, and have never heard, that anybody thinks it lowers the tone of the town. I, of course, have no opinion. Next...

4) HEALING CLAIMS - Finally, the Christians in Bath who have been banned from giving out leaflets claiming that God will heal the sick : Mars used to claim that "A Mars a day helps you work rest and play". Guinness used to claim that "Guinness is good for you". I didn't believe them either.

The Jeremy Vine Show - wondering if flared trousers qualify for a clothing allowance

(Oh, how I wish that video was still on YouTube)

Today's show 06/02/12

Monday morning, but I'm just going to go back to Friday's programme for a moment. I know that inaccuracy and misinformation are a major part of your programme, but it only occurred to me on Saturday how inaccurate your reporting on Friday was concerning Mr Huhne. I am really annoyed with myself about missing THE point.

Your script said, quote: Chris Huhne and his wife will be charged over the speeding offence and the penalty points. He's resigned, but why should he - he's not yet been found guilty?
This text suggests it is the speeding offence that is the issue here, but that is just wrong. Your beloved BBC's news page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-16866127) reports it correctly: Chris Huhne has quit as energy secretary after learning he will be charged with perverting the course of justice over a 2003 speeding case.

This offence goes to the very root of our legal system and, consequently, I understand that offenders may face a life prison sentence. Huhne is the first Cabinet minister in living memory to be charged with a serious criminal offence, yet you made no mention of perverting the course of justice, did you? Why would that be then? Surely you were not trying to steer the discussion away from the real issue and turn it in to "it was only some speeding points". Surely? The BBC giving a Lib-Dem an easy ride through a major offence ... who'd have thought? Thank goodness he isn't a Tory.

I also sent you some questions for Martin Lewis and Cancellation Day:
Cancellation Day sounds like a great idea! I'd like to cancel my BBC TV Licence and continue to watch TV. What advice can you give me? How many threatening letters will I receive - and ignore - before they stop coming? And when the TVL thug knocks on my door, should I just tell him he is committing aggravated trespass and tell him to go away? Any advice gratefully received!

I've just checked the iPlayer and neither he nor you makes any mention of this easy way to save £145.50 a year. Did you pass my question on to him? Perhaps you just ran out of time while you discussed freedom-of-choice Sky subscriptions in preference to pay-up-or-we'll-send-the-boys-round BBC TV licences? Yes, that'll be it, I'm sure.

Today's issue that affects me: We were woken to a loud crash at 06:50 yesterday morning. Investigations revealed that one of our cats had knocked a load of stuff of the kitchen cupboard shelves. More investigations revealed evidence that the mouse we saw several weeks ago was still around, so we can only assume that cat was chasing mouse. We spent yesterday morning clearing and cleaning the cupboard and left it empty and with the door open overnight. Lots of activity at 07:20 this morning as cats are running around and one catches and despatches said mouse. But are there any more?

Can we take a quick look at the news stories that you won't be covering today. That'll be because they concern the BBC. Let's start here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/christopherbooker/9061840/The-EU-mega-ships-and-a-paper-trail-of-warnings-that-still-remains.html

<Scroll down the page>
The BBC’s party line on our 'brave’ social workers

We have long been familiar with the way the BBC ignores, with impunity, its statutory obligation “to ensure that all controversial subjects are treated with due accuracy and impartiality”. There is an ever-growing list of issues, from the EU to climate change, on which its coverage follows a clear “party line”, so partisan that it amounts to little more than propaganda.

That sums up the situation nicely, don't you think?

Knowing how well you like "daddy or chips" comparisons, this may be of interest to you:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2012/02/04/bacon-sandwiches-top-t-mobile-list-of-britain-s-50-greatest-loves-115875-23734631/

Bacon sandwiches top T-Mobile list of Britain's 50 greatest loves

Bacon sandwiches, roast dinners and the obligatory cup of tea have topped a list of what Britain really loves the most in a survey released by T-Mobile.
1 - Bacon sandwiches

2 - Roast dinners

3 - Cup of tea

4 - British history

5 - BBC

You will know from reading this rubbish every day that I am a fan of the bacon sandwich and I am not surprised that a bacon sandwich is more popular than the BBC. They are better value for money too!

OK... so let's see if Monday 6th February 2012 is THE DAY when you talk about an issue that affects me:

1) BIG FREEZE - As forecasters warn of dangerous ice after the weekend's snowfall, we discuss whether you should take in a homeless person in these freezing temperatures : Talking about the weather - again? Can't you just tell its a Monday. It was 12 years ago that The Independent (http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/snowfalls-are-now-just-a-thing-of-the-past-724017.html) wrote this: According to Dr David Viner, a senior research scientist at the climatic research unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia,within a few years winter snowfall will become "a very rare and exciting event". "Children just aren't going to know what snow is," he said. Thank goodness we have experts like that. The ONLY reason you are discussing this is because it has affected London and the South East, so it automatically becomes important. Here in North Wales today it rained all day Saturday but was dry and sunny yesterday. Today is grey overcast with some light drizzle and very occasional glimpses of a watery sun. The temperature is 5degC and is predicted to rise to 7degC later. We have not had a frost since the middle of last week. Go on, tell the nation, they'd love to know that. And, on the basis that it is not freezing, the answer to your question is "No". What about you? Next...

2) DIAMOND JUBILEE - Former prime minister Sir John Major talks to us about the Queen on the sixtieth anniversary of her accession to the throne : Is she in the studio today? Oh... This has every possibility of ending up as a free-for-all row between pro- and anti-monarchists. I think I'll give it a miss, thanks. Next...

3) DIANE FRANKLIN - We speak to a woman whose quadriplegic son has just started to speak after twenty years. Find out more from Mail Online : First day of the week, and the Mail makes an appearance - yay! This is fantastic news, but - again - I have promised Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie that I will listen to them today. Sorry. Next...

4) SYRIA UNREST - Syrian forces have intensified their bombardment of the city of Homs. Does this prove that we should have intervened earlier? : From the weather to foreign policy in under two hours - fantastic. Who are the "we" that should maybe have intervened earlier? I wasn't aware that "we" had intervened at all.

It looks like I shall remain disappointed.

The Jeremy Vine Show - radio for Room 101

Today's show 13/01/12

There was no early morning tweet from you today with the usual "today's show in four words". Could it be true that you don't know what you're talking about? Oh, hang on.... did you see what I did there? Tee hee.

Today's issue that affects me: Our 10-year-old washing machine is on the blink. It washes fine but does not do the high-speed spin at the end of the run, so everything comes out dripping wet. Repair, replace, or live with it until something else goes wrong?

It has been a while since I suggested some BBC-related stories for you to discuss. There have, of course, been plenty and your favourite rag the Daily Mail continues to be a good source for "what really happens at the BBC" stories. Here are some for you, so please feel free to discuss all or any of them - I promise I will listen if you do! And as the pigs prepare for take-off...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2085744/BBC-accused-trying-create-tier-licence-fee-outlining-pay-view-plan-catalogue.html

BBC wants to charge for iPlayer by extending archive and availability of programmes

The BBC has been accused of trying to bring in a 'two tier' licence fee after it was revealed the corporation is looking into a pay-per-view scheme for its vast archive. 
Under the controversial plan, viewers would pay a small, but yet to be disclosed, charge if they wanted to watch a BBC programme from its huge back catalogue.
The costly proposition has already been slammed, not least because the BBC already charges a £145.50 a year licence fee and so is funded by the taxpayer.
The BBC is hoping to the system will be in place within three years and already established by the time its Charter is renewed in 2016.

So, the BBC is claiming poverty - I wonder why. Surely there is no connection with this story:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2085829/Despite-spending-thousands-taxis-BBC-executive-claims-delivering-value-money.html

Expenses for BBC bosses rocket by 20% as a result of move to Salford

Executives face fresh accusations of profligacy after spending on rail fares shot up by 57 per cent, while its hotel bill surged by 70 per cent.
In the latest numbers covering a three-month period from April to June 2011, the combined expenses bill of the top 102 senior managers grew to £183,276.
The relentless shuttling of bosses between London and the North-West pushed the amount spent on rail fares to £47,358 over the three months, up from £29,846 in the same period of the previous year.

Are you going to move to Salford? What would you do if you were told your programme was moving? Your Radio 5 colleague Victoria Derbyshire seems to be having the best of both worlds:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2083432/BBCs-Victoria-Derbyshire-finds-grim-North-just-60-cent-shows-broadcast-Salford.html

It's too grim up North for BBC's Victoria Derbyshire: Just 60 per cent of her radio shows are broadcast from Salford

When BBC Radio 5 Live moved to Salford, she was quite happy to give her boss a hard time on air as to why he wasn’t ‘properly moving’ to the north.
But now Victoria Derbyshire is  herself facing questions about her enthusiasm for the project, after it emerged she has broadcast just 60 per cent of her shows from Salford since the move.
This has led to resentment from colleagues who feel she is being given special treatment.
They have also raised eyebrows at her flying to Manchester each day to do the show, although this is not paid for by the BBC.

As you know, I leave Radio 2 every day at 12 and head over to 6 Music for an hour of Lauren Laverne, followed by three hours of the magnificent Radcliffe & Maconie broadcast live from Salford, aka The Stan Ogden Plaza.

11:32, nothing on your show web page, and you are about to appear on Ken's show. Let's see what Ken has to say today...

I loved the bit about the hairdressers in Archway who abandon Radio 2 at 12, and your hope that today's show would appeal to them. From what I could make out, today's show in eight words is: English Schools, Dwarf Tossing, Saving Money and Purple Sprouting. Just a hunch, but I think they might just abandon you again today, like thousands and thousands of others. You see Jeremy, it is not just me that has this habit.

11:37, trail done, but still nothing on the web page...

11:51, and you have just tweeted: Today's show @BBCRadio2 in four words: Teachers. Dwarf. Money. Broccoli. - I wasn't far off then!

11:54, here we go...

1) TEACHERS - Parents should be able to go into classrooms to help schools root out and sack failing teachers, according to England's Education Secretary, Michael Gove. Is that a good idea? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : A story from the Daily Mail about schools in England. As I continue to live in Wales and still have no children, why do you think this would be of interest to me? Next...

2) DWARFS - We talk to a dwarf actor who was partly paralysed after he was picked up and thrown onto the pavement on a night out. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : Another story from the Daily Mail. Praise the Lord! This sounds awful, and it is interesting that the gentleman concerned has chosen to blame the England World Cup rugby team for the attack. There can only be one acceptable outcome: Ban Rugby. That'll fix it. Next...

3) SORTING OUT YOUR FINANCES - Martin Lewis says we should all take one day off a year to sort out our finances : We already follow Martin's advice, but find that a Sunday afternoon every few months will achieve exactly what he is proposing today. Next...

4) ALLOTMENT - We join Terry Walton on the official Jeremy Vine Show allotment : I shared exactly the same amount of devastation as Ken when I heard you talk earlier about Terry's Purple Sprouting, but I'm feeling OK about it now. Quality radio? I don't think so.

The Jeremy Vine Show - not for hairdressers in Archway today, or any other day