30/04/12, 01/05/12 and 02/05/12

I've got some catching up to do, and a convenient break in work-related matters allows me some time to do so, so best get on with it...

Monday produced this load of old rubbish...

1) KHALIL DALE - A British aid worker Khalil Dale is beheaded in Pakistan. He has been described as a gentle man who lived to help others in war zones : Absolutely tragic, but what did your discussion change? Anything? At all? Let me guess... Next...

2) RECESSION - We’re joined by BBC Business editor Robert Peston. We ask “is it possible to talk ourselves into a recession?” : The answer to your question is "Yes" and the BBC will be leading the campaign to do so. You said on Ken's show about Peston: Does he have to have that gleam in his eye as he talks about the recession? The answer to that question is also "Yes", simply because he is paid by and works for the BBC. Like you, it is his job to do so. When the figures were released and the floodgates opened at the BBC as you searched frantically for someone to talk down the economy. I can only guess the jubilation when the BBC found a fellow doom monger by the name of Raymond Moan (yes, really), a building supplies businessman from Northern Ireland. Mr Moan was used on every news broadcast from then on with the BBC ignoring anybody with a different view, as usual. Next...

3) RED KITE - Have you been attacked by a red kite? : I was hit by one in a park when I was a child. I cannot remember the colour for sure, but I think it was blue and yellow. Oh... that kind of kite. No, I've never been attacked by one of those. You said on Ken's show when talking about Pomeranians: I don't know what size of dog that is. Is that not the kind of basic information that you would need to discuss this topic? Were you winging it (pun intended) again Jeremy? And from my knowledge of birds of prey, of which we have many around here, the behaviour and description sound more like a buzzard to me. Next...

4) MISSILES - Residents who live in flats in the East End have been told that they could well have an air-to-air missile on their roof to protect the Olympics : East End of where? Oh, you'll be talking about that there London. There was a classic Jeremy Vine open-mouth-and-insert-foot moment on Ken's show when you said: Surface to air is a bit of a misnomer as they will be on top of a block of flats. How is that a misnomer? It is an entirely accurate description. Was this the second time in one programme when you did not have a clue what you were talking about? Sounds like it to me! And can I have a missile on my roof, please? Target coordinates: W1W 2NY.

On to Tuesday then...

1) FORDS - A man is swept away to his death while attempting to drive through a ford during yesterday’s heavy rain on the Berkshire - Hampshire border. Have you got into trouble while attempting to cross a ford? : No, and I loved the video clip on the BBC news page you linked to which clearly showed a water depth gauge. Radio about stupid people, by stupid people, for stupid people. There is no charge if you want to make that your programme's new slogan. Next...

2) HATE - Astronomer Sir Patrick Moore whose fiancée was killed by a Nazi bomb in World War 2 says it’s still OK to hate the Germans. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : The Daily Mail... what better mouthpiece of the sewer press is there to stir up a bit of racial hatred? And what better mouthpiece of sewer radio is there to further promote it than your programme? You said on Ken's show: Amazing how recently the Germans were still bombing London. The last German air raid on London using conventional bombers (not V1 or V2 rockets) was on the 29 January 1944. That'll be 68 years ago. Is that what you count as "recent"? How are they getting on in Mafeking? Next...

3) COMMUNIST MANIFESTO - It’s May Day, International Workers Day. As the Communist Manifesto, the second biggest selling book of all time, is re-published, we ask whether Communism has any relevance in 2012 : It has as much relevance to me as it has always had: None at all. Needless to say, I did not listen but it was obvious from your Twitter feed that somebody called Daniel Frazer was mightily upset with what you were saying. For the benefit of my blog readers I'll repeat what he said here (http://www.twitlonger.com/show/h7usvt, my emphasis):

@theJeremyVine Of all the trash I have heard from the BBC your show today has to be the worst. Railroading Catholicism with Nazism and Capitalism, leaving Communism as the one true haven. No mention of grinding poverty in Socialist states, no mention of forced famines or gulags. No! just standing behind that Nazism had concentration camps so they were the only evil. What is a gulag or Siberian banishment if not a death camp? You are an abhorrent figure, willingly rallying and distorting the truth about the Communist manifesto and Capitalism. By playing Internationale today will you play Die Farne Hoch on the anniversary of the Munich Putsch? The anthem of a lot less brutal regime in Europe at the time? You do indeed fit the billing to partake in the worst waste of public money in all history, with your red brethren at the BBC. It is just that you and your show will end up in the cesspool of history.

He makes some good points! Next...

4) CANNABIS - And finally, Holland starts to close some of its “coffee shops” to tourists. Did you only go to Amsterdam for the cannabis? : I've been to Amsterdam only once and I was only there long enough to change trains, and I've never had anything to do with cannabis.

And finally, on to today...

1) PRESCRIPTIONS - A new report finds 1 in 6 patients are being given inaccurate prescriptions. We talk to someone about the day they spotted a serious error in their prescription : I rarely have prescriptions, and that has never happened to me. However, I do always check to see I have been given the correct stuff before using it. Obviously I am not a member of your Target Audience. Next...

2) RUPERT MURDOCH - Is Rupert Murdoch unfit to run a major international company? We talk to Tom Watson, hot from the MPs' Select Committee report, who says he clearly is : More Murdoch ... YOU LOVE IT! I have no view on Murdoch's competency to run his own business, but I find it interesting that you have Watson on your programme today. A couple of days ago this interesting little tête-à-tête appeared on your Twitter feed:


That all sounds a bit cosy to me. Anyway, it seems Watson might be in trouble (http://order-order.com/2012/05/01/dial-s-for-special-access-watson-revealed-committee-findings-in-book/) as in his book (the one whose "title is best so far this year") he revealed the committee's findings before they were published. I'd bet that you don't ask him about that. Next...

3) MAYORS - 10 towns and cities vote tomorrow on whether they should have mayors. Do you want a mayor for your city? : My nearest city already has one, thanks. Oh, you've missed out the important words "in England". Deliberate misinformation again Jeremy? Next...

4) ROY HODGSON - The new England manager is already being ridiculed for his speech impediment. What makes people think it's ok to ridicule someone with a speech defect? : Who? Oh, this is to do with sport. How boring. It is better to have a speech defect and talk sense than to talk rubbish perfectly, don't you think? You would know.

The Jeremy Vine Show - always ready to talk to (and pay) Labour MPs but please do not call us biased!

Today's show 22/02/12

This BBC document was brought to my attention yesterday: http://www.bbc.co.uk/editorialguidelines/page/guidelines-accuracy-introduction. I was particularly interested in the last paragraph, which says:
Where appropriate to the output, we (the BBC) should:
 - gather material using first hand sources wherever possible
 - check and cross check facts
 - validate the authenticity of documentary evidence and digital material
 - corroborate claims and allegations made by contributors wherever possible.

I wonder, how do these "shoulds" relate to your programme? Let's do a quick re-write just for the Jeremy Vine Show, shall we?
 - Gather material using first hand sources wherever possible, or just plunder it from the Daily Mail, or The Guardian
 - Check and cross check facts, or just make up facts as we go along and try to convince our listeners that this is the truth (plutonium in the Fukushima reactor, for example)
 - Validate the authenticity of documentary evidence and digital material, or just accept it at face value because it appeared in the Dead Tree Press or on YouTube
 - Corroborate claims and allegations made by contributors wherever possible, or just have a one-sided discussion so any claims and allegations cannot be challenged or defended

I have no doubt that these exacting standards will be applied to today's show, so what have we got?

1) MISSING PEOPLE - Even if your husband/wife has been missing for 7 years they can’t legally be declared as dead. MPs want the law changed : This sounds reasonable, but have you found a "someone" to say that it should not happen? Fortunately, this has never happened to me. Next...

2) RACIAL DISCRIMINATION - A white man who worked in a Chinese restaurant, and was sacked, has won a case for racial discrimination. Find out more from the Birmingham Post : Good for him. I just hope he gets his money. You said on Zoe's show, "You don't want a madras brought to your table by somebody called Martin". I am sure your listeners will be fascinated to hear your explanation of this statement, but I am not. Next...

3) DRINK DRIVING - A mother in court for drink driving was spared jail after her daughter wrote to the judge saying she was a great mum. Find out more from the Manchester Evening News : Words fail me. Next...

4) WEDDING DOOMED TO FAIL - And finally, if your best friend is about to get married, but you think the marriage will fail, what do you do? : Is this news? I would do absolutely nothing. I wouldn't make a very good listener, would I?

The Jeremy Vine Show - following BBC guidelines, occasionally

Today's show 04/01/12

Five items today? I don't get paid for writing this rubbish, you know....

Today's issue that affects me: Driving from Capel Curig to Llanwrst, and bearing in mind the weather conditions and the presence of a tourist hot-spot, is it best to use the steep and narrow lane over the mountains from the Ugly House or to use the main road via Betws-y-Coed even though this adds five miles to the journey and the traffic in Betws can be bad?

I have to thank @Vine_Watch on Twitter for making me laugh yesterday. Did you really say "I suppose you had to get into the loft and find all the paperwork. I bet that was stressful" when talking about breast implants? Climbing in to the loft can be a real chore. And good to read too that those hardcore staples of the JV Show appeared on the first show of 2012: a retired policeman and a wheelie bin.

No surprises as to what your lead items are today...

1) STEPHEN LAWRENCE SENTENCING - The 2 men found guilty of murdering Stephen Lawrence are being sentenced today. How many years should they get?
2) STEPHEN LAWRENCE MURDER - It is believed that 5 men in total are responsible for the racist murder of Stephen Lawrence. They all came from the same part of south east London. What made them what they are?
We can all imagine the scene in the judge's chambers as he deliberates...

"The law says I can give a sentence of up to x years, but what to do...? Oh, I know, I'll listen to the Jeremy Vine Show on Radio 2 - he is good at telling me what to think so he and his listeners will have the answer".

Maybe not, but I hope you get my point. My guess is that you will be hosting a "discussion" (not that these items are ever a discussion as per the dictionary definition) where various somebodys will argue the case from "they are misunderstood and should be set free" to "they are heartless criminals and the death penalty is not enough". I can just imagine it ... and so I will not be listening. They used a combination of police incompetence, police corruption and CPS idiocy to escape the law, so will you be discussing that the police are still corrupt and racist and the CPS is still incompetent? No mention of it on Ken's show, so I'll guess that you are not.

And never having lived in South East London, I have no idea what made them what they are. Ask me one on pop music.

As is usual, my interest lies with the coverage of this sad event. The BBC seem to be elevating Stephen Lawrence's murder in to the crime of both the 20th and 21st centurys, and even their printed paper arm The Guardian seems to be giving some praise to the tabloid press (http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jan/03/defence-of-tabloid-newspapers). All a bit different from their erroneous attacks on NOTW, don't you think? Meanwhile, the Daily Mail are wallowing - maybe rightly - in their support for these prosecutions. Next...

3) SURVIVING THE STORM - How did you survive the storm? We hear of close shaves and lucky escapes : Talking about the weather - again? No storm here Jeremy, just a bit windy and nowhere near as windy as I have seen here in the past. I loved your chat with Ken about this earlier, when you mentioned that the turbines were stopped during high winds and expressed your concern about the stresses being placed on the "centrifuge" - your word, not mine, should be "hub" - when the blades were stopped. Ever heard the word "feathering" used in conjunction with propellers or any other bladed device that rotates in air? No, I thought not. I know that your internet home page is something to do with the Daily Mail, but there is some other useful stuff available. Try this one some time: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blade_pitch. It gives me great pleasure to tag this one as "Poor Research". Next...

4) 'THE IRON LADY' - The film ‘The Iron Lady’ premieres today. Were you someone who could say “I didn’t like Margaret Thatcher’s politics, but she did inspire me”? : No, I could not. Next...

5) RONALD SEARLE - Finally, we look at how the brilliant cartoons of Ronald Searle were forged in a Japanese prison camp : Very sad, and I have no doubt that you will overcome the technical challenge that Cartoons On The Radio presents.

I'll finish by bringing this government e-petition to your attention (http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/26528):

We the undersigned in the spirit of togetherness petition that the government legislate in the interests of preventing social disorder and injustice, health and safety in the workplace and fairness to all in these times of national austerity the banning of the sale and/or the consumption of all alcoholic beverages within the present day boundaries of the Palace of Westminster.

This has got to be a good thing, surely.

The Jeremy Vine Show - still talking about the weather, and still getting it wrong

Today's show 17/11/11

So, how do you spell "Heroin" when describing the drug? Not with an "e" on the end, as was shown on your web page yesterday before it was corrected. I was SO annoyed with myself that I didn't spot that.

What is it about Thursdays and your web page? This is the third week in a row that the update has been significantly later than other days. Does somebody have a day off on Thursdays?

So, what can I amuse you with while we are waiting? How about this from your beloved Daily Mail...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2062446/BBC-jobs-4-500-titles-2-000-managers.html

Anyone for Decision Support? BBC has 4,500 job titles... and 2,000 of them are managers!

There are almost 4,500 job titles in existence at the Corporation, it has emerged, and almost 2,000 of its staff have the word manager in their title.

It is thought there are even more staff on top of this who are classed as and paid as managers but do not have the word in their job titles.
Last month, BBC chief operating officer Caroline Thomson was asked on Newsnight why when the Corporation wanted to put money into programmes it was at the same time trying to recruit a ‘decision support analyst’ on £58,000 a year.
She admitted: ‘I don’t know what that person actually does but what I do say is that you want the BBC to be a well-managed organisation.’

Good to see Newsnight putting the BBC on the spot. You see Jeremy, it is possible to talk about and castigate the BBC even though they are your employers. You really should try it some time. I'd listen to that!

And then there is this one...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8895154/Feud-between-Robert-Peston-and-Eddie-Mair-erupts-on-Radio-4-PM-programme.html

Feud between Robert Peston and Eddie Mair erupts on Radio 4 PM programme

A feud between two of the BBC's best loved presenters erupted into the open live on radio yesterday when Robert Peston, the Business Editor, accused news presenter Eddie Mair of "casting him out into the wilderness".

Best loved? By who? Not me! So the news reporters become the news. I'm sure that is not how it should be.

And meanwhile the BBC's Freedom Of Information department have actually dained to answer one of my questions. Their response goes likes this:

Freedom of Information request – RFI201112xx

Thank you for your request to the BBC of 10th October, seeking the following information under the Freedom of Information Act 2000:
Has Jeremy Vine received any products from Apple Inc. (manufacturer of the iPad, iPhone, etc.) on a discounted, complimentary, gift or free-of-charge basis in connection with or following any of his broadcasts for the BBC.
First of all please accept my apologies for the delay in responding to your request.
I can confirm that Jeremy Vine has not received any products from Apple on a discounted or complementary basis from Apple. The BBC has strict guidance relating to hospitality and gifts and you can find details at:
http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/foi/classes/policies_procedures/antibribery_policy.pdf

You may also like to know that the BBC has recently introduced anti bribery training which it requires all staff with editorial responsibilities to complete

This is good to know. (Their use of the word "complementary" is, of course, incorrect, despite my information request having it correctly spelt as "complimentary". They also managed to mis-spell two lines of my postal address in their reply. Quality!)

11:30 and still nothing on your web page, so let's have a listen to what happens when Ken takes the p155 out of you..., ooops, I mean... talks to you about your programme today. Oh, here you are now, talking about your dry-cleaning discussion on Twitter for some reason. For God's sake... I'm still blocked by you on Twitter, so my Freedom Of Speech continues to be stifled.

Well, you've just finished with Ken, and still nothing on the web page.

Programme started, still nothing.

12:23, finally updated, but I'm busy now so this is going to have to be quick...

1) SEPP BLATTER - Sepp Blatter says that racism on the football pitch can be absolved by the shake of hands. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : Football? I shall sleep well this afternoon. Next...

2) SYRIA - Syria is a place most of us know little about. If we learn more about the country, would we be prepared to help her people? : You actually said on Ken's show, "We know nothing about Syria". You might not, but I do. Please do not include me in your sweeping generalisations! Not all of your listeners are as thick as you think they are. Next...

3) DRY CLEANING - Were your clothes ruined by dry cleaners? Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : I honestly cannot remember the last time I used a dry cleaners, if I have ever used one at all. Is this news? Next...

4) WORK EXPERIENCE - Should young people be paid to do work experience? We talk to two parliamentary interns who are paid. Find out more in this article from the Guardian : Do you use interns to update your web page? It would explain a lot if you do. You said on Ken's show that one of the interns you were going to speak to works in Ed Miliband's office. Poor bloke. This will brighten his day: http://awkwardedmilibandmoments.tumblr.com/

The Jeremy Vine Show - if only it were as good as Newsnight

Today's show 05/10/11

I hear that I missed a good bust-up on your show yesterday. If I could be bothered to drag my mouse pointer enough to open iPlayer I would take a listen, but frankly I can't be bothered. Why? Well, the prospect of listening to a "Daily Mail blogger" and Gorgeous George Galloway slagging off each other doesn't really do it for me. And what is it about Galloway? Why do you have him on your programme to talk about all kinds of things so often? Does he have embarrassing photos of you? Or is he just an expert in EVERYTHING? I think we should be told.

It occurs to me too that Galloway would make a good stand-in for you when you are away ... but who would he call when he needed a Talking Head to spout off on any given subject? What a quandary that would be!

My blog soarded through 7700 page views yesterday evening, and again I thank my loyal readership for taking time to read my inane ramblings. I understand that one of them has been in touch with you directly (RESULT!) and I would like you to know Jeremy that you are free to respond to any of the comments made on my blog. You have my email address and my phone number and I promise to publish anything you send me without alteration or comment. Whether others choose to comment is, of course, up to them and outside of my control.

I forgot about this yesterday - sorry...

Today's issue that affects me: Following the launch of Apple's iPhone 4S yesterday, are those of us who have a mobile phone that can only be used to make calls and send texts all going to die?

Moving on to today's tedious topics then...

1) DAVID CAMERON - The Prime Minister speaks to the Conservative conference today. His message: What are you doing to pay off your credit card debt? : Blimey, somebody there has woken up and realised that the Tory Conference is on this week! Congratulations to that person, and thank you for doing your job properly - for once. You have saved me the bother of sending another bias complaint to the BBC, not that they do anything about those, of course. As for your question: I pay off my credit card every month and cannot remember the last time I paid any interest. Credit card companies HATE people like me as they don't make any money. Nevertheless, I'd make sure that you get George Galloway in as he will undoubtedly have an opinion on everything to do with Cameron, Tories and credit cards. Next...

2) PRISON CRIME - Damian Fowkes is the prisoner who killed one paedophile and later attacked Ian Huntley. Given his determination to kill all paedophile prisoners, where on earth do we incarcerate him? : How about George Galloway's office? I have no idea, or interest, but I bet George Galloway will have the answer! I have every confidence that George will be the saviour of the UK - and whether we like it or not. He used to be important, you know, and was even an MP at one time, until his constituents mistakenly voted for somebody else. What could they have been thinking? He had told them EXACTLY what to do! Next...

3) MIXED RACE BRITAIN - A new BBC series looks at the joys of being mixed race in Britain today. More on the BBC's 'Mixed Race Britain' season : Aha! A shameless plug for a BBC2 TV series. We've not had one of those for a while. And is that a young Carol Vorderman in the top picture on the web page you link to? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/pressoffice/images/bank/programmes_tv/mixed_race/446mixed1.jpg) I live in a mixed race community, with immigrant English (such as myself) living in harmony with our lovely Welsh neighbours. And you are right, it is a joy. There is just one thing missing from my situation though: We are all the same colour. I suspect that this is not what you mean by a mixed race society. Oh well, I got it wrong again. Anyway, I bet George Galloway is an expert on this topic, and will no doubt overcome his inherent shyness to express an opinion, although you may have to turn up the microphone gain a bit so your listeners can hear what he says. Next...

4) CAT FIGHT - Home Secretary Theresa May says ‘you won’t believe this, but an illegal immigrant was kept in Britain because he had a cat’. Justice Secretary Ken Clarke says he doesn’t believe it : Good to see you are maintaining your standards by ignoring the substance and focusing on the trivia. Have you ever made a mistake Jeremy? Have you ever said anything to an audience and got it wrong? Have you ever said anything in the belief that it was the truth, but later found that it was wrong? Have you ever been let down by your researchers who failed to do their job properly? Have you ever corrected and apologised for doing any of these things? The answers to those questions are, of course: Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes and - sadly - No. So how about discussing that? You said on Ken's show that Russia is now part of Europe - wrong! I bet George Galloway has never made a mistake in his life, and everything he says must be the truth because he says it is. Again, I feel sure that he will be able to amuse and entertain your listeners with witty anecdotes of when he went bungee jumping with Ken Clarke, or the time he mud-wrestled with Theresa May. Blimey, I'm almost tempted to listen! Oh, I remember now, I live in The Real World. You should try it some time.

The George Galloway Show - today's special guest is Jeremy Vine!

UPDATE:

Just found this in your beloved Daily Mail:
Migrant facing deportation wins right to stay in Britain... because he's got a cat

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1221353/Youve-got-cat-OK-stay-Britain-officials-tell-Bolivian-immigrant.html

So, who got it wrong then?

Today's show 15/08/11

Oh God...

You're back.

What on earth have your poor listeners done so wrong that they deserve to be inflicted with five days of your inane ramblings, eh?

And who is it who decides who should stand in for Jeremy when he is away? They need sacking for their inept poor choice.

Needless to say, I won't be listening. Not only because I cannot stand your broadcasting style, but because you have yet again failed to cover anything of interest to me. Allow me to explain...

1) DAVID STARKEY - The historian David Starkey has sparked controversy by claiming ''the whites have become black'' during a discussion on the riots : No surprise that you are discussing this topic, even though it is now three days old. I read an interesting article by James Delingpole yesterday (http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100100911/if-david-starkey-is-racist-then-so-is-everybody/) in which he makes some interesting comments and revelations. He starts his article like this (my emphasis):

Driving back from my holiday in Wales, yesterday, I realised what a lucky escape I’d had. As I exited the hills and finally got my mobile phone reception back, there was an old message from Friday inviting me to appear on that evening’s Newsnight to talk about the riots. So it could have been me that fell into the BBC’s “raaaacist” trap instead of poor old David Starkey. And make no mistake it was a trap. Starkey’s debating opponent was Owen Jones, the BBC’s new pet angry young socialist whose default position is perpetual umbrage and righteous rage on behalf of the poor, working class, oppressed and – since Friday, apparently – black people. It’s a cheap trick but one that goes down very well at the BBC, which is why they have Jones back so often.

And he ends it like this:

To pillory a man for pointing out such a glaringly obvious cultural fact just because he’s white and Right-wing would have been quite wrong even before the riots. Post riots it is positively obscene. Not just obscene, in fact, but dangerous. Of course, we expect the BBC not to get it. Like the Guardian – and the Labour party – the BBC created the culture that led to these riots, so it’s hardly surprising if it carries on playing the old PC game like the 80s and 90s never went away.

In between he makes some interesting comments, to which I may or may not subscribe, but it is the BBC's handling of this that interests me the most, and in particular the allegation of a trap. Having watched the interview I concur with his view of the BBC's treatment of Starkey, and it comes as no surprise to me that you are continuing to fan the dying embers of this one. Next...

2) UNEXPLODED SECOND WORLD WAR BOMBS - Has an unexploded bomb from the Second World War ever been unearthed in your neighbourhood? : Having just done a little research, I am pleased to tell you that North Wales survived virtually unscathed from WW2 bombing attacks. This means that the answer to your question is "No". Who comes up with this stuff? Hardly "target audience" material, is it? Next...

3) COUNCIL HOUSE EVICTIONS FOR RIOTERS - Should rioters be evicted from council houses? : Oooohhh, a vote. I shall text my answer (presumably "Yes" or "No") to 88291 immediately. Is the result binding on local authorities? Will your discussion change ANYTHING at all? Is it just a waste of time? Would I lose the will to live? Next...

4) GAMBLING TAX ON SEAFRONT ARCADES - And amusement arcades warn that they could go out of business as the result of a new tax. Find out more in this Southend Standard article : The Southend Standard ... a beating heart on the Essex coast, but it must have a miniscule circulation as I cannot find any figures for it at all. We had a story from the Harwich & Manningtree Standard last week, and now this one. Has one of your team moved to rural Essex? Interesting that you have made this specific to "seafront arcades" when, in fact, the new tax applies to all arcades regardless of their location, but then this programme is not usually troubled by facts so why should today be any different? I've never been to Southend but I do live only a few miles from the sea. I am not aware of any of the seaside towns around here having arcades anywhere near the seafront, so how can this story possibly have any relevance to me? Oh, and I've never met a poor arcade owner. Have you?

Now, get off my radio!

Today's show 10/05/11

I understand that congratulations are in order! Very well done for winning two Sony Radio Academy Awards yesterday. It just goes to show that you can fool some of the people some of the time.

Radio 2's news bulletins didn't give me all of the information that I needed though, but a quick look at http://www.radioawards.org/news/awards-2011/2011-winners/ told me:
Radio 2's Jeremy Vine was the evening's sole double gold winner, topping the podium for both Speech Broadcaster of the Year and Best Interview of the Year, with the citation saying: "A broadcaster at the top of his trade, with intimate knowledge of his subject, he dissects Gordon Brown then uses the infamous '"She's a bigot" tape to hammer home the final nail in the prime-ministerial coffin."

I think the Best Interview award was fully deserved, and you were lucky to have the right man in the right place at the right time with the right recording available to you. Had any of those factors have been missing then the interviewer and award recipient could have been somebody else. My view is, of course, that you are in the wrong place (Radio 2) and the wrong time (12-2) every day.

The Academy's use of the phrase "intimate knowledge of his subject" is interesting. If only it were true! Can you remind me how an oil-fired central heating system works?

I'm not so sure about the Speech Broadcaster of the Year though, and I am unsure about how the Academy came to their conclusions with this one. As you will appreciate, speech radio is not really of interest to me, so I don't listen to it. This is probably a good decision on my part as I am left puzzled as to the standard of other speech radio programmes that are available. If yours is considered to be the best then what are the rest like? I feel sure that I am not missing anything.

I can only come to the conclusion that the Academy are selective in their listening and did not include the non-news twaddle that you frequently discuss in their deliberations. I am thinking here of your discussions on topics as irrelevant as these:
.- Breast Milk Ice Cream - Would you eat it?
 - TV Adverts - Do you prefer them to the programmes?
 - Fried Chicken Shops - Is one ruining your street?
 - Handbag - More important than your husband?
 - Bedsheets - How often do you change yours?

 - Freezer - What's the oldest thing in yours?

 - Anything to do with polytunnels!

Award winning stuff? I don't think so!

So, let's look at what the Sony Radio Academy will not be listening to today...

1) BUYING A UNIVERSITY PLACE - Should you be able to buy a place at university? The government may allow extra places for people who bid for them, but is that fair? : Life isn't fair Jeremy. I didn't go to university, and I am unlikely to do so, and we have no children so how can this possibly be of any relevance to me? Next...

2) 'SLUT WALK' PROTEST - A policeman in Canada advises women not to dress ‘like sluts’ and causes international protest. Here women are taking up so-called ‘slut walking.’ : Well, that's great, good for them, and it is part of living in a so-called free democracy. And I could not care less. Next...

3) THE RIOTS OF 1981 - After one o'clock, a special programme looks back thirty years at the riots in Brixton, Toxteth and Moss Side. Which side were you on? Also, we play all the best music from 1981 : Which side was I on? What a stupid question. I was not there and not involved in any way, so how can I possibly have been on one side or the other? And there is nothing like a bit of lunchtime racisim to raise the ire of your listeners, eh? As for the best music, I would guess that you will not be playing anything from The Damned's "Friday 13th" EP released in 1981, but I think I will. Next...

4) PARLIAMENT AS A WEDDING VENUE - Would you get married in the Houses of Parliament? It's been considered, but would MP's give the go-ahead for you or me to get married in what has become their personal club? : Would I get married there? No, it is in London, and I'm already married. That sounds like two good reasons to me. The BBC news page that you link to says: "Parliament can be used as wedding venue - The Houses of Parliament will be available as a wedding venue to members of the public for the first time.", so I am at a loss to understand why MPs (with no apostrophe) have to give the go-ahead when, apparently, it has already been given. What is there to discuss?

In other news, it is interesting to see (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8501819/BBC-producers-public-service-views-on-par-with-religion.html) that the BBC has sacked somebody for apparently believing that public service broadcasting was a good thing. What is this all about then? I'm not suprised that you didn't discuss it today.

I'll be listening to Sony Radio Award winning broadcasters Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie over on 6 Music.

Today's show 15/03/11

Did you see Panorama last night? I don't normally watch it but made an exception as it was all about the illegal acquisition of personal information by so-called professional journalists. I was very pleased to hear that your favourite newspaper the Daily Mail was included in the report, so reinforcing my opinion of that particular member of The Dead Tree Press Preservation Society. However, at the end of the programme I was left wondering who I should believe. Should it be the accused journalists, or should I believe the less-than-perfect "holier than thou" BBC reporter? I came to the conclusion that they were all as bad as each other and, frankly, I couldn't care less.

Journalists : Scum, the lot of them. Good job you're only a talk-show host these days and well out of what they do, eh?

Eyes down for today's twaddle then...

1) FUKUSHIMA RADIATION FEARS - There's been a third explosion at the Japanese nuclear plant which was damaged in Friday's earthquake. We speak to a nuclear expert about the risks : Oooohhh, finally a "nuclear expert". Was he busy yesterday, or couldn't you be bothered to call him in? I suggest you listen to what he says but get him to start with something easy, like oil-fired central heating, and work your way up from there. Next...

2) MIDSOMER MURDERS - One of the creators of Midsomer Murders says it "wouldn't work" if the TV drama portrayed racial diversity in village life : He is entitled to his opinion. Interesting that on Ken's show you refered only to "English villages". As an Englishman living in a Welsh village I am part of a (racial?) minority, but that doesn't matter because it is not England, is it? You would do well to remember that you have listeners who are not in England. Next...

3) WAITING FOR BENEFITS - Are you waiting for benefit? Okehampton in Devon has recorded a large rise in demand for emergency food parcels : In answer to your question: No, I am not. Other than allow them to vent their anger, what are you going to do to help those people who are waiting? Next...

4) LOST KEYS - And should you put your contact details on your keys in case you lose them? : From radiation leaks to lost keys in one programme - fantastic. By the way, this isn't news.

"The Jeremy Vine Show - for all of the latest utter bollocks"

UPDATE 1:

I've just read this on one of my favourite web sites (http://biased-bbc.blogspot.com/2011/03/its-chernobyl-all-over-again.html):

IT'S CHERNOBYL ALL OVER AGAIN!
>> TUESDAY, MARCH 15, 2011
The BBC have gone nuclear over...erm, the nuclear problems at Fukushima. Today has been busy constructing  an agenda that the Japanese Government "lies" (according to Roger Harradin) and is "blase" (according to James Naughtie) about nuclear problems. Undoubtedly the crisis at Fukushima has gotten worse and that is fair comment but the BBC seems determined to extend this into some sort of general attack on nuclear energy. I have to say that one's natural sympathy with the Japanese victims of the tsunami is now being eclipsed by anger about the BBC's overt manipulation of the Nuclear power plant issue. Not reporting - editorialising and always following a clear agenda.

So Jeremy, are you going to be following the corporate line and continue with this today?


UPDATE 2:

You just said, "Somebody got upset yesterday when I said the reactor contained plutonium"

That sentence seems innocuous enough, but it tells me:

 - You did not research the topic.

 - You have no interest in broadcasting correct and accurate facts.

 - You have an utter contempt for anybody that dares criticise or correct what you say.

Had you have said "Somebody corrected me yesterday when I said the reactor contained plutonium" then I would not have sent this email. Use of the words "got upset" tells me that you couldn't care less, but then I knew that already.

Complaint lodged on BBC web site:

During a discussion about the Japanese nuclear energy problems Mr Vine said, "Somebody got upset yesterday when I said the reactor contained plutonium". Use of the words "got upset" suggests to me that Mr Vine has an utter contempt for anybody that dares criticise or correct what he says, and that he has little or no interest in broadcasting correct and accurate facts.

My complaint is that Mr Vine has been disrespectful of "somebody" (presumably a listener) who has attempted to correct his error and has dismissed that correction as something that does not matter.

Had Mr Vine have said "Somebody corrected me yesterday when I said the reactor contained plutonium", or similar, then I would not have sent this complaint.

Today's show 02/03/11

Welcome back!

Now Jeremy, you know that I am no fan of your show, but have you any idea what your "team" did to it while you were away? You don't? Oh, let me tell you...

First of all your listeners were subjected to Ms Feltz for five days. She successfully managed to turn your programme in to a down-market version of Womens' Hour. I'll admit that I listened for a few minutes just to hear what kind of mess she would make of it, and I was not disappointed. Never have I heard so many women arguing and cat-calling with each other about subjects of no interest to me. It was absolutely dire.

Then, the anonymous Mr O'Connell returns. Who is he again?

Finally, your web site people have re-vamped your web pages in such a way that it makes the production of my daily email to you far more difficult, but I manage. They also have screwed up in that they listed a "wild horses" story on the web site for 28th February, but instead Paddy spoke about drunks in hospitals. Despite me pointing out the error - twice! - the incorrect information is STILL shown on the programme archive page. Journalistic accuracy? Who needs it, eh?

Before I move on to today's diatribe of News Entertainment I have to ask the question: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT?

There are just over 3 million people living in Wales. Tomorrow (3rd March) the entire population has been asked to vote in a referendum concerning the future operation of the Welsh Assembly. Link here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-politics-12402557

I would have thought that this is of sufficient importance to warrant a discussion on your programme, but apparently not. Let's see what rubbish we have today instead....

1) David Cameron - Yesterday David Cameron seemed ready to use military fore to free Libya. Today he’s backtracking slightly. What advice would you give to the Prime Minister on Libya? : I would advise him to ignore any advice that he receives from listeners to the Jeremy Vine show and any of its associated staff. Not that he will be listening of course, to either me or you. Next...

2) Parents - A report says that some baby boomers, now in their 50s, rarely keep up with their parents. When did you last see your parents? When did your grown-up children last see you? : I saw my parents this morning (they live less than 100 yards away), and I don't have any grown-up children, but that does not make sensationalist radio, does it? And always a pleasure to see yet another story from the rag known as the Daily Mail on Radio 2! Next...

3) John Galliano - John Galliano has been sacked by Christian Dior following alleged anti-Semitic comments he made last week. Have you ever been in a situation when you were shocked by a friend making anti-Semitic remarks? : Who? Am I meant to know who this person is? Should I care? In answer to your question: No, I haven't. This story has all the ingredients for a real radio bust-up. Are you proud of what you do? Why is that? I know somebody who could help you. Next...

4) Rising Oil Prices - With the oil prices soaring, how have you changed your life because of high oil and petrol costs? : I haven't, but that doesn't make good radio either, does it? I can stand in my garden on a Sunday afternoon and hear the distant drone of JetSkis from a nearby beach. Perhaps you should be asking JetSki owners this question.

Well, what does this tell us? It tells me this: That remarks made by somebody called John Galliano are more important to the Jeremy Vine show than a referendum that may change the way Wales and its 3 million inhabitants are governed for a long, long time.

So tell me this: Which one is more newsworthy than the other? I feel a complaint coming on...



Complaint lodged on BBC web site:

Mr Vine's programme is discussing the following topics today: Use of force in Libya, parents, John Galliano's anti-semetic remarks, rising oil prices.

Tomorrow (3rd March) the entire Welsh population is taking part in a referendum to change the way in which their lives are governed by the Welsh Assembly for a long, long time.

I consider that the referendum is newsworthy enough to warrant debate on Mr Vine's programme, but apparently not. While I would accept that two of today's stories have time-related relevance, the other two certainly do not and could have been held over to another day. One (parents) struggles to actually qualify as "news" in my opinion.

My complaint is that Mr Vine often chooses to discuss non-news trivia (for example, "Handbag - More important than your husband?" on 17th February) rather than something that will have an effect on the entire population of Wales (over 3 million people).

His programme is not "News" at all, but merely "News Entertainment".

Today's show 26/01/11

Aaahhhh... a sunny day here in North Wales, your third day back in the Hot Seat and still your web site says "Paddy O'Connell sits in for Jeremy all this week". Go on, take a look, it is there, right below the three pre-fab pictures, and with Paddy's photo below that. Oh well...

1) Mervyn King - Mervyn King says we’ll all have to take a big pay cut if the economy is to recover. Are we all in it together? : This forms an interesting juxta-position with yesterday's discussion about economic growth. As a sole trader I would deliberately have to turn business away in order to earn less, so stifling economic growth apparently and not doing myself any favours. On that basis I'm sorry but this topic is of no interest to me.  Next...

2) Fiddled Expenses - Let down black community? : Racism at lunchtime? Well, I guess it makes a change from paedophilia. Until I read this I had not managed to make any connection between Lord Taylor's crime and the colour of his skin. I really hope that somebody has the guts to take you to task for this, but unfortunately I won't be listening. The Daily Mail will be proud of you. Next...

3) Sexism Row - Should The Sun get rid of Page 3? : Errrr... sorry, I don't understand. The linked page is from The Sun and describes the sacking of somebody called Andy Gray from Sky Sports (sport, who cares?) and makes no reference to Page 3. Now, let me think.... The Sun is owned by Rupert Murdoch, and the BBC don't like the Murdoch Empire, do they? So this discussion acts as a Double Whammy against two branches of the Murdoch Empire: SkyTV and The Sun. Yes, I think that must be it. Anyway, we don't receive Sky Sports and I have never bought a copy of The Sun. Next...

4) Proposal - Left on the wrong answer phone : Sweet, but it is not news, is it? Go on, be honest. The Jeremy Vine show: Great music, the latest news, and any other old twaddle we can find on the BBC's web site.

Today's show 20/01/11

Your web page was again updated by 10:30 this morning, and I continue to be impressed. It saves me so much time when writing this stuff...

1) Baroness Warsi - Conservative chairman Baroness Warsi says it’s become acceptable in Britain to be prejudiced against Muslims : Has it? Oh, right... I shall have to remember that, but I'm not sure why. It says on the link page "She will use a speech at Leicester University to accuse the media of superficial discussion of Islam.". The Media? That'll be you then, or are you following Jeremy's usual tactic and opting out of The Media for today?

I love the way The Media tell us in advance what somebody in high office is going to say in a speech "later today". If I were that person I'd change my speech to say something - anything - other than what had been reported just to see how the "we always tell the truth when it suits us to do so" media reacted. Moving on...

2) Disabled Child - I can't cope : Tragic, but what is your discussion going to change for the child and her mother today? Can I make a prediction? Here goes..... Absolutely Nothing. Next...

3) Voting - Which prisoners should get the vote? : I have no idea. I don't know anybody in prison. I'm not sure I even know anybody who has ever been in prison. I don't live in a constituency that has a prison. Should I be interested? Well, I'm not. Next...

4) Pets - Should they be allowed on public transport? : Pets? Do you mean any pet? Are you suggesting that I should be able to take my much-loved pet Vietnamese pot belly pig on the bus? If so, I hope it is one of those low-floor buses because he's only got short legs. I suspect you mean dogs ... and I don't own a dog (or a Vietnamese pot belly pig now I come to think of it) and living here in rural Wales I hardly ever have an opportunity to use public transport. And it was all going so well.

As for your diseased laurel ... I'd suggest a good dose of bullshit. You'll not find a shortage and it works wonders.

Just so you know ... the last day on which the JV Show discussed a topic that interested me was 22nd September 2010. That was four months ago, the story was riddled with inaccuracies and I learnt nothing that I didn't know already. I wonder ... is it just me that finds this programme of no interest at all? I guess we will never know.

Today's show 18/01/11

Hi Paddy!

 

Good to see that whoever updates the web site page now acknowledges your presence. Was this as a result of my email yesterday, I wonder. It is just a shame that whoever it is cannot get their finger out and get your web page updated a bit earlier - 12:00 and still waiting. A possible target for the next round of BBC cutbacks perhaps?

 

Anyway...

 

1) Racism - Schools are reporting racist language to local authorities. At what age can a child become a racist? : I have no idea, and not having any children I'm not really interested. Next...

 

2) Libraries Closing - Are you trying to save yours? : My library arrives in a van and stops outside my house. It could not be more convenient. Perhaps we just do it right in Wales. Next...

 

3) Tony Benn and Dennis Healey - Discuss being widowers.: While I sympathise with their situation, your choice of studio guests does not encourage me to listen. Tony Benn was the man who was hell-bent on closing down Radio Caroline, Radio London and the other ship-based pirate radio stations while the BBC had its head firmly stuck in the sand and refused to recognise the need for any kind of pop music radio station. Dennis Healey was the Chancellor who went cap in hand to the IMF in the 1970s on a previous occasion when a Labour government had bankrupted the country. Being a bit of a military aircraft fan I also know that Healey was responsible for the cancellation and subsequent scrapping of the TSR2 aircraft project and wasted more money on trying to buy F-111 aircraft from the USA, which came to nothing. Can you tell that I am not a fan of either of these gentlemen? Next...

 

4) Raising Alcohol Prices - Does it stop alcoholism? : I don't drink alcohol at all, and my wife manages to make one bottle of decent wine last a week. Somehow I don't think this will affect us so it is of no interest to me.

 

"Put down that drink and pick up the phone". Perhaps I should throw it at my radio.

 

Fortunately alternative entertainment for the next two hours is available to me.