30/04/12, 01/05/12 and 02/05/12

I've got some catching up to do, and a convenient break in work-related matters allows me some time to do so, so best get on with it...

Monday produced this load of old rubbish...

1) KHALIL DALE - A British aid worker Khalil Dale is beheaded in Pakistan. He has been described as a gentle man who lived to help others in war zones : Absolutely tragic, but what did your discussion change? Anything? At all? Let me guess... Next...

2) RECESSION - We’re joined by BBC Business editor Robert Peston. We ask “is it possible to talk ourselves into a recession?” : The answer to your question is "Yes" and the BBC will be leading the campaign to do so. You said on Ken's show about Peston: Does he have to have that gleam in his eye as he talks about the recession? The answer to that question is also "Yes", simply because he is paid by and works for the BBC. Like you, it is his job to do so. When the figures were released and the floodgates opened at the BBC as you searched frantically for someone to talk down the economy. I can only guess the jubilation when the BBC found a fellow doom monger by the name of Raymond Moan (yes, really), a building supplies businessman from Northern Ireland. Mr Moan was used on every news broadcast from then on with the BBC ignoring anybody with a different view, as usual. Next...

3) RED KITE - Have you been attacked by a red kite? : I was hit by one in a park when I was a child. I cannot remember the colour for sure, but I think it was blue and yellow. Oh... that kind of kite. No, I've never been attacked by one of those. You said on Ken's show when talking about Pomeranians: I don't know what size of dog that is. Is that not the kind of basic information that you would need to discuss this topic? Were you winging it (pun intended) again Jeremy? And from my knowledge of birds of prey, of which we have many around here, the behaviour and description sound more like a buzzard to me. Next...

4) MISSILES - Residents who live in flats in the East End have been told that they could well have an air-to-air missile on their roof to protect the Olympics : East End of where? Oh, you'll be talking about that there London. There was a classic Jeremy Vine open-mouth-and-insert-foot moment on Ken's show when you said: Surface to air is a bit of a misnomer as they will be on top of a block of flats. How is that a misnomer? It is an entirely accurate description. Was this the second time in one programme when you did not have a clue what you were talking about? Sounds like it to me! And can I have a missile on my roof, please? Target coordinates: W1W 2NY.

On to Tuesday then...

1) FORDS - A man is swept away to his death while attempting to drive through a ford during yesterday’s heavy rain on the Berkshire - Hampshire border. Have you got into trouble while attempting to cross a ford? : No, and I loved the video clip on the BBC news page you linked to which clearly showed a water depth gauge. Radio about stupid people, by stupid people, for stupid people. There is no charge if you want to make that your programme's new slogan. Next...

2) HATE - Astronomer Sir Patrick Moore whose fiancée was killed by a Nazi bomb in World War 2 says it’s still OK to hate the Germans. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : The Daily Mail... what better mouthpiece of the sewer press is there to stir up a bit of racial hatred? And what better mouthpiece of sewer radio is there to further promote it than your programme? You said on Ken's show: Amazing how recently the Germans were still bombing London. The last German air raid on London using conventional bombers (not V1 or V2 rockets) was on the 29 January 1944. That'll be 68 years ago. Is that what you count as "recent"? How are they getting on in Mafeking? Next...

3) COMMUNIST MANIFESTO - It’s May Day, International Workers Day. As the Communist Manifesto, the second biggest selling book of all time, is re-published, we ask whether Communism has any relevance in 2012 : It has as much relevance to me as it has always had: None at all. Needless to say, I did not listen but it was obvious from your Twitter feed that somebody called Daniel Frazer was mightily upset with what you were saying. For the benefit of my blog readers I'll repeat what he said here (http://www.twitlonger.com/show/h7usvt, my emphasis):

@theJeremyVine Of all the trash I have heard from the BBC your show today has to be the worst. Railroading Catholicism with Nazism and Capitalism, leaving Communism as the one true haven. No mention of grinding poverty in Socialist states, no mention of forced famines or gulags. No! just standing behind that Nazism had concentration camps so they were the only evil. What is a gulag or Siberian banishment if not a death camp? You are an abhorrent figure, willingly rallying and distorting the truth about the Communist manifesto and Capitalism. By playing Internationale today will you play Die Farne Hoch on the anniversary of the Munich Putsch? The anthem of a lot less brutal regime in Europe at the time? You do indeed fit the billing to partake in the worst waste of public money in all history, with your red brethren at the BBC. It is just that you and your show will end up in the cesspool of history.

He makes some good points! Next...

4) CANNABIS - And finally, Holland starts to close some of its “coffee shops” to tourists. Did you only go to Amsterdam for the cannabis? : I've been to Amsterdam only once and I was only there long enough to change trains, and I've never had anything to do with cannabis.

And finally, on to today...

1) PRESCRIPTIONS - A new report finds 1 in 6 patients are being given inaccurate prescriptions. We talk to someone about the day they spotted a serious error in their prescription : I rarely have prescriptions, and that has never happened to me. However, I do always check to see I have been given the correct stuff before using it. Obviously I am not a member of your Target Audience. Next...

2) RUPERT MURDOCH - Is Rupert Murdoch unfit to run a major international company? We talk to Tom Watson, hot from the MPs' Select Committee report, who says he clearly is : More Murdoch ... YOU LOVE IT! I have no view on Murdoch's competency to run his own business, but I find it interesting that you have Watson on your programme today. A couple of days ago this interesting little tête-à-tête appeared on your Twitter feed:


That all sounds a bit cosy to me. Anyway, it seems Watson might be in trouble (http://order-order.com/2012/05/01/dial-s-for-special-access-watson-revealed-committee-findings-in-book/) as in his book (the one whose "title is best so far this year") he revealed the committee's findings before they were published. I'd bet that you don't ask him about that. Next...

3) MAYORS - 10 towns and cities vote tomorrow on whether they should have mayors. Do you want a mayor for your city? : My nearest city already has one, thanks. Oh, you've missed out the important words "in England". Deliberate misinformation again Jeremy? Next...

4) ROY HODGSON - The new England manager is already being ridiculed for his speech impediment. What makes people think it's ok to ridicule someone with a speech defect? : Who? Oh, this is to do with sport. How boring. It is better to have a speech defect and talk sense than to talk rubbish perfectly, don't you think? You would know.

The Jeremy Vine Show - always ready to talk to (and pay) Labour MPs but please do not call us biased!

26/04/12 and 27/04/12

It is a wet and very windy Sunday afternoon here in North Wales, and with any outside activities cancelled for the day an opportunity arises to send you my comments on the last two programmes from last week.

But first, here is some other stuff...

Jeremy, have you ever heard of a political party called UKIP? If you have then you are probably unique at the BBC as our favourite state broadcaster seems to be doing their best to not just ignore UKIP but almost to deny its existence. There was an interesting article about this phenomenon by Michael Heaver in The Commentator a few days ago (http://www.thecommentator.com/article/1125/bbc_green_with_envy_over_ukip_s_rise) which rightly said: Perhaps I'm just a troubled, paranoid young man. But if the Green Party were outpolling the Liberal Democrats nationally, I think that the BBC would be absolutely all over the story. Mr Heaver is, in my view, absolutely correct. So how about you include UKIP when a relevant topic for discussion occurs? Or did you get the "no UKIP" memo from the BBC's Director of Bias too?

Some BBC news:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9233705/BBC-launches-inquiry-into-payments-to-MPs.html

BBC launches inquiry into payments to MPs

The BBC has launched an inquiry which could lead to a ban on MPs being paid to appear as guests on programmes. The move would affect dozens of politicians who are regularly rewarded for their broadcasts, earning up to £200 plus expenses for a turn on Radio 4's Any Questions or more than £500 for BBC One's This Week.

I have tried my best to find out how much Galloway et al are paid to patronise your listeners... ooops, sorry, I mean... to make a valuable contribution to your programme, but have failed on every attempt due to the unique way in which the BBC is funded and so won't tell the very people who fund a darned thing about how OUR money is spent. A ban on MPs being paid could be interesting. The appearance of a Tory MP on your programme is a rare thing already so that situation will probably not change, but if a ban means that Balls or Prescott are not called upon to give us the benefit of their wisdom on the price of brussel sprouts then so be it. My hope is that only those MPs who are passionate on their subject will appear - for free - and that will nicely separate the motormouths and rent-a-gobs from those who are actually trying to improve the land in which we live. Perhaps you need to update your MP "speed dial" list?

I know you don't do it, but I would like to go back to a couple of recent discussions on your programme...

The first was on 18th April when you were bemoaning the decline of local newspapers. Well, Mr Murdoch Snr has identified the culprit for their demise: The BBC. He gave his views as part of the Leveson Inquiry last week (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/17857574):
Leveson Inquiry: Murdoch rounds on BBC News website

Rupert Murdoch has used his appearance at the Leveson Inquiry into press ethics to reflect on the threat posed to newspapers by the internet. The head of News Corps singled out the BBC News website as a significant threat to local news websites throughout the UK.

So there we go, it is the BBC's fault. I knew it all along. Although only three minutes long, it is a an interesting interview. No wonder the BBC have him down as Public Enemy Number One.

The second was last Wednesday, 25th April, and the discussion on bus lanes and cyclists. Just out of curiosity I listened to the discussion on iPlayer in the hope that somebody might have given you some grief. I knew that you would have John Griffin from Addison Lee as a studio guest, but your other guest was something of a surprise choice. Now I know that you make a pretence of not ramming your own views down your listeners’ and studio guest’s throats and that you usually gets somebody in to do that for you, and it appears that last Wednesday was no exception. So what happened then? Did you do a quick scan down your speed-dial favourites list to find a fellow cyclist? And really, was there nobody else available other than Rent-A-Gob Peter Tatchell? Now Tatchell may or may not have interesting views on all sorts of matters (he was last on your programme talking about the Bahrain F1 race) but I never had him down as an expert on all things cycling. And I was correct! The item turned in to the usual JV Show two-against-one discussion (and I use that word in its loosest possible sense) with you putting words in to Griffin’s mouth, which he had to deny. Tatchell added little other than some hare-brained ideas and presumably collected a completely unjustified payment cheque when he left. This was nothing other than an ambush wrapped up in some very obvious London-only bias.

Moving on to last Thursday then...

1) ZIGZAG ECONOMY - As we fall back into recession we’re told the economy is zigzagging. If you think about your business or employment prospects are they up one day and down the next? : With the BBC celebrating the return to recession, I am going to tell that my employment prospects remain unchanged at non-existent, but that my business still seems to be going nicely. Next...

2) ABORTION - Are you somebody who had an abortion when you were young and now can’t get pregnant or left it too late? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : I've never had an abortion, but I can't get pregnant. Other than read the Daily Mail, what should I do? Next...

3) GORDON BROWN - Rupert Murdoch said that Gordon Brown declared war on his company when The Sun declared war on the Labour government. Whatever was said or wasn’t said, does part of you think - good on Brown for taking on the power of Murdoch : More Murdoch? What a surprise! Not even the smallest part of me thinks that. Perhaps Brown only did it to annoy Tony Blair (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14785501), but I notice that Murdoch is still around and Brown has vanished in to justifed obscurity. Next...

4) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - “I Love Where I Live” continues with love letters to the place you call home. Today we reach Scotland, the highlands and islands, the glens and the great cities of Glasgow and Edinburgh : Nice place, although I've not been there since 2009.

And then there was Friday's offering...

1) WAKING THE WORKSHY - The head of the government’s Troubled Families programme Louise Casey says council officials may need to turn up at people’s homes at 7am to get parents and children out of bed. Do bureaucrats need to wake up the workshy? : There is no mention of waking people up on the news page you link to but it does say: David Cameron says he is determined to "get to grips" with tackling England's most troubled families by pledging a network of troubleshooters. Ah, England ... bless. Not Wales then. Next...

2) SIERRA LEONE - The former Liberian leader Charles Taylor is found guilty of aiding and abetting war crimes in Sierra Leone : Good. Next...

 

3) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - We head to the South of England for the last day of "I Love Where I Live," your love letters to the place you call home : I used to live there, and I'm glad I don't anymore. I loved the way you informed us that the South of England streches from "Southend to Penzance". I'm not sure the proud people of Cornwall will have liked that, I think they prefer the term "West of England". Next...

 

4) FLANNELS - The decline of the flannel. Is it no longer an essential accessory in the bathroom? Find our more in this article from the Telegraph : I still have many and use one every day, but.... errrr... oh, hang on... nearly nodded off there... what was the question again?

 

What have I learnt from the BBC in the past few days? Well, Penzance is in the South of England (you, last week). "April showers" will last until May (BBC weather forecast this morning). Simon Cowell has an "unauthorised autobiography" out (news report on the Danii Minogue upset). And Billy Bragg was born in 1957 but was a "teenager throughout the 1970s" (Johnny Walker this afternoon). Perhaps accuracy is over-rated.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - Oh God, it's back on again tomorrow...

23/04/12, 24/04/12 and 25/04/12

I've been busy over the last couple of days so I have missed my daily updates. However, I'm off to the dentist (only a check-up) soon so find myself with an opportunity to do my thing. Let's start with Monday...

1) MARINE LE PEN - The biggest surprise of the French elections is that one in five voted for the national front candidate Marine Le Pen. What accounts for the rise of the far right in France? : It is well-known that the BBC finds any political view other than left of centre to be totally abhorent. Like London, I view France as a place to get through as quickly as possible on my way to somewhere much nicer. And my interest ends there. Next...

2) BLINDNESS IN ONE EYE - A diplomat loses an eye in a vicious attack. Are you someone who has had to cope with just one eye? : How awful, but I have not been that unfortunate. Next...

3) CARE WORKER - A family secretly film their mother being slapped by a care home worker. How can this happen in a care home that’s been rated ‘excellent’? : I've no idea, but I note that "All five main care workers filmed by Jane Worroll were sacked" so hopefully it will not happen again. But then this was all just a promotion for Monday's edition of Panorama, wasn't it? Next...

4) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - All this week Radio 2 wants to hear why you love where you live. We will be hearing your 1 minute love letters about your town, village or city : Yeah, whatever.

So that was Monday. Sounds dire. Was Tuesday any better?

1) POSHNESS - Conservative MP Nadine Dorries says that Cameron and Osborne are “arrogant posh boys” who “don’t know the price of milk”. Does poshness matter anyway? : Ah yes, a good old-fashioned Jeremy Vine Show Character Assassination. It's been a while since you did one of those. I take it that this was as one-sided as all of the others? Aside from that, is a bit of name-calling really "news", especially when bearing in mind the current legal matters entangling Peter Hain (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-17822347) and Jack Straw (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17746561 and http://order-order.com/2012/04/24/secretary-of-state-spook-connection/). Next...

2) MEAT THEFT - There’s been a rise in the theft of meat both from supermarkets and from the ‘back of lorries’. Is this something you’ve witnessed? Find out more from the Financial Times: No. And the link you provided is hidden behind a "pay wall". You may wish to waste my TV licence tax money on a subscription, but I do not. Next...

3) CLAIRE SQUIRES - Claire Squires ran the marathon to raise money for the Samaritans in memory of her brother. She collapsed and died near the end. Since then, thousands of people have donated money in her memory : Tragic. Did you discuss banning marathons? If not, why not? Next...

4) LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE - Radio 2’s homage to every nook and cranny and of the UK continues. Today, ‘I Love Where I Live’ moves to Wales and Northern Ireland. There’s still time to write your one minute love letter, to where you live : Is there really. Great.

And while I'm at it, I may as well dismiss today's show as well...

1) RUSSELL BRAND - Did you see Russell Brand give evidence on drug abuse to MPs yesterday? He called for people to have more compassion for drug addicts, but were you somebody who said what right did he have to be there in the first place? : Who? Oh, him. My answers are no, and no. This is a former Radio 2 colleague you are talking about here, have you no respect? Me neither. Next...

2) BUS LANES & CYCLISTS - The man that runs one of Britain’s biggest cab firms says that minicabs should be allowed in bus lanes and cyclists should be made to pay road tax : I have no idea where my nearest bus lane is, in England probably, but your Twitter feed is full of references to your endeavours with a bicycle around London, so I fail to see how you could possibly conduct an unbiased discussion on this topic today. Your BBC colleague Stuart Hughes launched a Twitter attack on the minicab company concerned and this has been fully documented elsewhere (http://biased-bbc.com/2012/04/20/taxi-2/ and http://biased-bbc.com/2012/04/24/taxi-update/) and this, if nothing else, illustrates perfectly the kind of bias that permeates through the BBC when somebody there uses their position to further their own views. As for me, one day many years ago I was stopped at traffic lights on the Euston Road in London and a cyclist rammed in to the back of my car. I got out and the cyclist picked himself up off the road and said "Sorry mate, I didn't see you". What he meant was he wasn't actually looking where he was going. The rear bumper and boot lid on my car were both dented, but the cyclist's bike appeared to be undamaged. I know that because he then rode off at high speed and left me with the repair bill. I'll leave you to guess what my view of cyclists is ... can you manage that? I'll listen to this on the iPlayer later as I hope that the chap from the minicab company gives you some grief. Next...

3) MURDOCH - Rupert Murdoch gives evidence at the Leveson Inquiry today as his son leaves cabinet minister Jeremy Hunt’s career hanging by a thread : Murdoch appears at Leveson, and you are all over it like. Yet back in January (25th) you chose to ignore the evidence given by the Daily Mail, the Daily Mirror and our beloved BBC. Bias, bias, bias! Any news reporter worthy of his trade would give equal coverage to ALL of the news organisations involved, but you only choose to report on Murdoch. Your choice, or a directive from On High? Next...

 

4) LOVE WHERE YOU LIVE - ‘I Love Where I Live’ heads to the middle of England today. We hear your one minute love letters to the place you love : WTF?

 

And at 12:08 the Off switch does its job.

 

It was interesting to hear Chris Evans's comments this morning on the forthcoming repeat of 2DAY. "We loved it, you loved it", he said. That is not my recollection of last year's disasterous day when hordes of R2 listeners found that other radio stations are available. And your beloved newspapers slated it too. But the BBC always know best, don't they?

The Jeremy Vine show - telling you the news that WE want you to hear

Today's show 28/02/12

Another quick on today, due to pressure of more important things to do, but we haven't had one of these for a while...

Today's issue that affects me: Our toaster has just broken. Grrrr....

There is an interesting conversation taking place on your Twitter feed this morning concerning a chap who said "I am not intelligent enough to be constantly stimulated by Radio 4. I am a bit too young for Radio 2 after Chris Evans finishes at 9.30am" and was looking for a radio station to listen to. Your response to him was "No @JxxxBxxxxx, actually I think you are the perfect profile for my show. Don't be lured by @NickyAACampbell", which is an interesting response as from what I have heard of Queen Nicky on R5 his programme is worse than yours! However, the tweet that really caught my eye was this one from (presumably) one of your listeners: "@JxxxBxxxxx no no no. I am not clever and love @theJeremyVine.". I need say no more.

So what has my favourite public service broadcaster's most popular radio channel got to offer me this lunchtime? We must remember, though, that like many other public services the BBC wastes money, runs the service to suit itself, and expects users of the service to be grateful for what it does...

1) CORRUPTION - A leading copper at the Met says there was a culture of corruption between police officers and Sun journalists in pursuit of salacious gossipy stories that had no public interest. 3.26 million people bought the Sun on Sunday and don’t seem to mind : 3.26 million? In that case I proudly count myself among the 58,958,761 UK residents who did not buy a copy of the Sun on Sunday last weekend. But you are correct, of course, in that the SoS readership don't mind because this whole performance is only of interest to the few of us who have an interest in the "news" and how it is distributed. This obviously includes anybody in the news media too, and the opportunity for the BBC to have yet another pop at Murdoch is again proving too much to resist, while the equally suspicious Mirror Group escape the BBC's wrath yet again. Double standards? Yes, of course it is, and exactly what I and many others now expect the BBC to provide. The BBC news page you link to says "Payments by journalists to public officials were identified in the "police, military, health and government", she said.". Odd, don't you think, that journalists are being pilloried for giving money to public officials, yet those same public officials are not - to the best of my knowledge - being identified or punished in any way. Will you be covering that aspect of these developments? I thought not. Next...

2) OCCUPY PROTESTER - The Occupy Protesters have been evicted from outside St Paul’s Cathedral in London. Is this a good news story, or a bad news story? : You are missing the middle option. They should be Good News, Not News and Bad News. I'll go with the middle one. The Occupy movement started off with apparently good intentions but quickly seemed to lose its direction. Their message that they were against "corporate greed" got through, but I struggled to find out what alternatives they were suggesting and how those might be achieved. Even their own web site was not clear on the matter and a number of their demands were not even demands at all! In my mind, all that the Occupy movement achieved was to prove that so-called leaderless campaigns do have leaders with their own agendas, and they win through in the end. Occupy should have targetted the bankers and the bond traders. They should have targetted the politicians who expect us to work harder and longer to pay for their broken promises. They should have targetted those whose hands we are not allowed to remove from our own pockets and who use the law to steal our money and place future generations in debt. But they didn't, and an opportunity was missed. The eviction is of no importance to me at all, and I am not likely to ask or be asked "What were you doing when the Occupy protestors were evicted?". I hope your BBC-supplied black armband fits comfortably. Next...

3) SLEEPING PILLS - Research from America suggests that people taking sleeping pills are 4 times more likely to die prematurely and they may be as dangerous as cigarettes. Are you hooked on sleeping pills? : No. Next...

4) ROOF RACKS - Finally, did you see the story of a tiny Nissan Micra with 2 sofas on the roof? What’s the most you’ve put or seen on a car roof rack? Find out more in the Western Morning News : I didn't see the story, and I don't own a roof rack.

The Jeremy Vine Show - we don't need or want clever listeners

Today's show 03/02/12

I got the date correct today. I should become a journalist.

Just a quick one due to pressure of work...

The BBC hits the news again...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9055183/BBC-admits-receiving-millions-in-grants-from-EU-and-councils.html

BBC admits receiving millions in grants from EU and councils

The news prompted MPs to raise questions about the BBC’s impartiality when its journalists report on events in the EU.
The BBC admitted in a letter to a Tory MP that it has received nearly £3million in grant money from the European Union over the past four years.

Perhaps this explains why the BBC completely missed the point - and public opinion - when Cameron did his veto thing in December, maybe?

And there was a load of fuss yesterday on the BBC about the head of the Student Loan Company (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-16854187) after he was paid through a private firm, yet this is exactly what the BBC did for John Birt:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/bbc-helps-its-chief-to-avoid-tax-exclusive-birts-salary-paid-to-his-private-company-1475816.html

BBC helps its chief to avoid tax: Exclusive: Birt's salary paid to his private company

JOHN BIRT, the new Director-General of the BBC, has avoided tax by being paid as a freelance consultant - despite being a full-time employee of the Corporation. Instead of paying tax on his BBC salary, he has been taxed on whatever he chooses to pay himself from his private company.

So, one rule for BBC employees and one rule for everybody else then? Nice one.

On to today's trivia then but your web page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01b98y7) has details of the Reverend Alan Sorensen's "Pause For Thought" displayed for some reason, but I can always use the script you so kindly posted on Twitter earlier (http://p.twimg.com/AkuY1rUCEAA-r9a.jpg) instead...

1) PRINCE WILLIAM - The Argentinians say sending William to the Falklands is a "deliberately provacative act" : He works for the RAF and so he does as he is told, and I think it unlikely that you will be able to reverse this decision. Is there any chance, do you think, that our beloved news media is making more of this than they should? Just asking. Next...

2) CHRIS HUHNE - Chris Huhne and his wife will be charged over the speeding offence and the penalty points. He's resigned, but why should he - he's not yet been found guilty? : Did you miss his appearance on TV earlier? He said that he was standing down from his cabinet position so he could devote his time to defending himself. His decision, and accepted by Clegg and Cameron. I'm still waiting for Miliband Minor to pop-up on TV or radio to say "the government are going too far, too fast" which, in Huhne's case, was probably true. And I love this piece by James Delingpole: http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100134689/huhne-youd-need-a-heart-of-stone-not-to-laugh/. Go on, enlighten me, what is there to discuss? Next...

3) MARTIN LEWIS - Martin Lewis introduces CANCELLATION DAY! Which magazine, insurance, phone, gym, satellite contract are you going to cancel today? : Now, let me think. I get one magazine a month, so I'll keep that. We only have the insurance we need. We have a landline phone which costs little to run thanks to Martin's advice, and my mobile is pay-as-you-go. I do not belong to a gym. And why would I want to cancel my satellite contract when Sky (aka the hated-by-the-BBC Murdoch Empire) provide me with televisual delights every day. I know ... I'll cancel my BBC TV Licence Poll Tax. Martin's advice would be very much appreciated on that one, so please discuss it. Cheers! Next...

 

4) TOP TOTTY - Why did a Labour MP object to a beer called TOP TOTTY being sold in a bar in Parliament? : Sense of humour by-pass, maybe? I am sure that Slater's Brewery will be grateful for the publicity, and good luck to them. Bearing in mind Mr Huhne's situation today, perhaps this brew would be more appropriate...

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - immune from Cancellation Day, whether you like it or not

Today's show 20/01/12

Hi Paddy ... welcome back to the smelly armpit of Radio 2. Jeremy always claims to discuss the "issues that affect you", meaning me, so here is mine for today:

Today's issue that affects me: It looks like our mouse, or mice, is/are still around. The cats are on patrol and a humane trap has been set. What else can we do?

Of course, and like Jeremy, you will not be discussing the issue that affects me but you will instead fill two hours with some old tosh about something or other. Let's see what we have today then...

Except I can't because at 11:55 the web page has not been updated.

12:10, and still somebody there is not doing their job, but today's programme goes something like this...

1) SOMETHING ABOUT HOW PHONE HACKING VICTIMS SHOULD USE THEIR COMPENSATION MONEY : Is whatever your listeners decide today binding on the "celebrities" concerned? I thought not. You ask, "They've got thousands of pounds in 'compo', what should they do with it?". Why don't you get Prescott on the phone and ask him? Can I suggest that it is their business, and not yours, or mine? Jeremy earns over £500000 a year, so perhaps you should discuss what he does with that - I'd listen! This is all just pointless tittle tattle, although it gives you as a BBC servant another opportunity to follow the corporate mandate and attack Murdoch again. And here we go, at 12:06 you started the item with "Rupert Murdoch's empire ...". Click - I need listen no more. Really, can't you do any better than this? Next...

2) SOMETHING ABOUT TEENAGERS STARTING THEIR OWN BUSINESS : As I am not a teenager, I have no children and I already have my own business, I don't think I qualify for this discussion. Next...

3) SOMETHING ABOUT POISONING YOUR BOSS : I am a self-employed sole trader. I am my own boss and I have no employees. Surprisingly, I have never hated myself enough to do myself in. Next...

4) SOMETHING ABOUT OLD PHOTOGRAPHS AND KODAK : Photos on the radio ... brilliant! I have very few printed photos, and if I look across the room from where I type this I can see ... yes, there it is ... the one packet of prints that I have. However, I have many thousands of colour slides, and about half of those used Kodachrome 64. They are stored in boxes and, if I stretch, I can touch them from here. So, what was your point again?

Is there no real news today then? I think there is, and you could have discussed this:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2088297/BBC-refuses-apologise-tasteless-Top-Gear-India-special.html

Defiant BBC refuses to apologise for 'tasteless' Top Gear India special that sparked a diplomatic row and complaints across the globe

Or this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2088567/Huge-bonuses-grotesque-expenses-spendthrift-bosses-austerity-BBC.html

Huge bonuses, grotesque expenses and spendthrift bosses- so much for austerity at the BBC

Last May, the incoming chairman of the BBC Trust, Lord Patten, said he would ensure that senior managers did not receive bonuses or perks.  He had rightly described management pay at the Corporation as a ‘toxic issue’.
How, then, can we make sense of the revelation that last year the BBC paid bonuses amounting to £275,000 to four senior managers? One of them — Chris Kane, head of corporate real estate at the BBC — received a top-up of £155,000 in addition to his salary of £206,000.

The Jeremy Vine Show - still not talking about the BBC


13:45 and this lot has finally appeared...

NEWS INTERNATIONAL DAMAGES - Dozens of celebrities who are victims of phone hacking have been awarded thousands of pounds in damages by News International. What should they do with that money – keep it themselves because of the pain they suffered, give it to charity or put it towards the cost of the enquiry?

REVENGE - A man who took revenge on his boss by pouring toilet water into his drink has received a suspended sentence. What drives people to take revenge on their employer? Find out more in this article from the Mirror.

YOUTH UNEMPLOYMENT - There are over a million young people unemployed. We hear from one of them who says he’s so demoralised, he finds it difficult to get out of bed until 3 in the afternoon. We talk to another who says if you can’t find a job, set up your own business.

KODAK - Kodak has filed for bankruptcy protection. Do you have a box of old discarded photographs hidden away in the back of a cupboard in the attic? We want you to go back and look at them and pull out the best.

Today's show 13/12/11

12:00 and I'm still waiting for Vine or one of his minions to update his web page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b017xdr5)... Hopeless!

12:30 and still nothing.

13:30 ... they are obviously not bothering with the web page today. Hopefully whatever counts as Normal Service will be resumed tomorrow!

UPDATE 14/12/12: I checked JV's web page at 11pm yesterday and it had still not been updated, but it was updated before 9am this morning...

1) NEWS OF THE WORLD - It could be that the News Of The World was not responsible for deleting the messages on Milly Dowler’s mobile. If that’s the case, would you reassess whether the News Of The World should have closed? : It was The Guardian that pointed the finger at NOTW (http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk/2011/jul/04/milly-dowler-voicemail-hacked-news-of-world) but I cannot see the BBC ever attacking them the same way that they did the NOTW. I am no fan of the Dead Tree Press and I find a delicious irony that the News Of The World was forced to close as a result of a story that wasn't 100% true.

2) POLAR BEARS - The BBC filmed the birth of a polar bear in a zoo. Critics say that it was a fake, but others say ‘Oh come on, it’s the magic of TV!’ :  I could not care less if they faked the scene or not, but it could have been mentioned in the 10-minutes "this is how we did it" section at the end of the programme. Then again, the BBC's philosophy these days seems to be: If you can't make it, fake it!

3) PRESENTS - We live in hard times: how do you tell the kids there’s no money for Christmas? : It must be difficult, but there are still no kids here!

4) FARE-DODGER - We discuss the passenger who intervened to throw a youth off a train between Edinburgh and Perth who didn’t have a ticket : From the Daily Mail. Whatever...


Complaint lodged on BBC web site:

I consider the prompt updating of the Jeremy Vine Show web page important as it allows me to determine which, if any, of the the four discussion topics each day are of interest to me. On Tuesday 13th December the web page was not updated until after 11pm. Similar failures to update the web page promptly or at all have occurred recently on 8th December, 22nd November, 17th November, 11th November and 3rd November. I consider the prompt updating of the show web page to be important and my complaint is that not enough attention is given to making this happen.

Today's show 03/08/11

The time is 11:28 and I am about to listen to your selfless promotion on Zoe's show. I see that you are keeping your web page readers waiting again today as details of today's four discussion topics are still to be published there, yet they appeared on Twitter an hour ago. And the reason for that is what, exactly?

So, I know what the stories are, but I am going to wait for the web page update as I want to see what spin you put on one story in particular. I'll come back in a bit...

<Goes away for 10 minutes>

Good here, isn't it....?

<Goes away for another 10 minutes>

Sigh....

<Goes away again>

Once again, you've done your introduction and the news is being read as I type this, and still no web page update. I've got better things to do than wait for somebody there to get their finger out, so I'll use the stories from your Twitter feed instead today, but first I need to file a complaint on the BBC web site, and here it is:

Mr Vine's show web page is used to give details of the four topics for discussion on each day's programme. However, since Mr Vine discovered Twitter the updating of this page has got later and later each day.

Today (3rd August 2011) Mr Vine posted outline details of the four topics on his Twitter feed by 10:35, with more details posted around 11:00. As I write this (at 12:10) the show is already in to the first discussion topic yet the web page has not been updated to show all four topics.

My complaint is that this treatment of non-Twitter users is unfair and unwarranted and that they should have access to the same information at the same time as Twitter users.

1) Story 1. Is @johnniemarbles only going to prison because he foam-flanned a Murdoch? : This one actually does get a mention in your web page heading: "Jeremy discusses if 6 weeks in jail is too long for throwing a foam pie at Rupert Murdoch". So, that leaves us in no doubt as to what your view is, does it? You could, of course, have adopted an unbiased view and worded it like this: "Jeremy discusses whether appropriate punishment is to be given to the man who assaulted Rupert Murdoch", or similar. But no, we have to have your own opinion rammed down our throats, as usual. It was interesting to see that somebody else has a similar view of your handling of this item when they predicted on Guido Fawkes web site (comment 13 http://order-order.com/2011/08/02/jonathan-may-bowles-goes-down/#comments) "I suppose that bleeding heart liberal Jeremy Vine will be hosting another Charlie Gilmore-esque love in tomorrow for this class warrior also?". I have seen few predictions as accurate and as factually correct as that one. As for Mr Bowles, perhaps he had better learn how to not drop the soap. Next...

2) Story 2. Have Top Gear crossed the line by taking the rise out of the new Nissan: car companies are commercial, TG is public sector : Interesting that you have to point out that "TG is public sector", which means that your programme is too. Yet you "take the rise" out of all types of people and subjects, and also do blatant advertising, and yet you are allowed to get away with it. So what is the difference? Ah yes, nobody can criticise you, and if they do you just ignore it. My advice to Clarkson et al would be to do exactly the same. As for electric cars themselves, I've just checked where I could recharge one in North Wales. The ONLY place is on the Holyhead to Dublin ferries (http://www.electriccarsite.co.uk/electric-car-charging-points and http://www.chargingstation.co.uk/charging_station_locations.html) but even if I give my electric car a full charge at home it would have run out before I got to Holyhead. And I'd have to buy a ferry ticket to Dublin. A pointless and irrelevant discussion then. Next...

3) Story 3. After tragic suicide of young mum, should people with lifelong depression avoid having children? : I have no idea, or interest. Excuse me while I go and slash my wrist. Next...

4) Story 4. Military cuts mean, if the Falklands were invaded now, we would have to let them go : I am sure that whoever is planning to invade will be grateful for bringing this rumoured shortcoming to their attention. Unfortunately there is not much that I can do about it, and you will do even less.

Can we hope that normal web page service will be resumed tomorrow? I've got better things to do than wait for somebody there to (not) do their job!

Oh, and here's a thought for you. Next time you go away on holiday, rather than have the vile Vanessa Feltz, the ineffective Matthew Bannister or that other anonymous bloke stand in, can we have Jeremy Clarkson instead? I'd listen to that.


UPDATE:

Finally, at some point during this afternoon and a long, long time after JV's programme finished, somebody updated the web page. The text and links are repeated here for completeness and future reference:

1) JONATHAN MAY-BOWLES - Jonathan May-Bowles is jailed for 6 weeks for throwing a foam pie at Rupert Murdoch. Is the sentence excessive or about right? Jeremy talks to Peter Hitchens, columnist and author and journalist Angela Epstein

2) DEFENCE CUTS - A committee of MPs attacks the government over defence cuts. Let’s imagine it’s 2015 and Argentina has re-invaded the Falkland Islands: Would we be able to respond? Jeremy chats to Admiral Sir Alan West, former security minister and former head of the Royal Navy and Times columnist Matthew Parris


3) DEPRESSION - A mother commits suicide and murders her own 2 children. In a heart-wrenching letter she says because of her depression, she just couldn’t cope and she couldn’t bear the thought of other people bringing up her children. Jeremy is joined by Lucy Jolin, author of Coping with Birth Trauma and Post Natal Depression, and Jeremy Vine Show agony aunt and broadcaster Barbara Want. Find out more in this Daily Mail article.

4) ELECTRIC CARS - Jeremy Clarkson drives a Nissan Leaf electric car through Lincolnshire and can’t find a suitable docking point. Is a Top Gear stunt in danger of destroying one of our new industries? Jeremy chats to James Max, broadcaster, and Rory Reid, the Car Tech editor of comsumer techonology review website CNET UK.

I wonder why JV didn't talk to Clarkson.....!?!

Today's show 29/07/11

If I may, I'd like to go back to yesterday's item about mismatched bed times. Valued blog contributor Stonyground  posted this comment yesterday evening, and with which I can only agree:
"The synchronised bedtime study came up as a factoid on the Steve Wright show a couple of weeks ago. He passed it around his little posse and it was universally agreed to be bollocks. After 17years of successful marriage involving assynchronous bedtimes, I have to agree. Wrighty's discussion took up about thirty seconds rather than thirty minutes, maybe there is a lesson to be drawn from that?".

1) PHONE HACKING AMNESTY - As we learn that the mother of murder victim Sarah Payne may have had her phone hacked, we ask if it's time for a hacking amnesty: no prosecutions in return for the truth : A vote - we've not had one of those for ages. Trust you to come up with this. A real case of one rule for one (journalists), and another rule for everybody else. Here's an alternative suggestion: Tell them that there is an amnesty, get their evidence, and then cancel the amnesty. This would give the journalists the same amount of respect that they give to their victims and readers. What could possibly go wrong? My answer to your question is, of course, a resounding "No". Punish them, punish them all, punish them hard. Lethal injection should do nicely, or hanging. Will I miss them? Not one bit. Scum, the lot of them. And I bet you don't mention Trinity Mirror or Piers Morgan. Who needs the full story, eh? Next...

2) FORCED OUT OF THE THEATRE - The father of an autistic child says they had to leave a musical after staff complained about the boy making noises : "Find out more at BBC News online" it says, so I did. The first piece of relevant information is "who they claim was asked to leave a theatre because he was making too much noise". Hmmm... you use the word "forced", but the parents concerned used "asked to leave". Not exactly the same thing, is it? The second piece of relevance is this "A spokesman for the Ambassador Theatre Group said: "We take our customers' welfare very seriously and are currently looking into what happened. Until that process has been completed it would be inappropriate to make any further comment.". Sounds fair enough to me, but it doesn't make good sensationalist radio, does it? And I don't need to hear it, thank you. Next...

3) BED & BREAKFASTS - And after 1 in Your Money and Your Life, how to set up a bed and breakfast - what every prospective owner should know : Hang on, I need to make a quick phone call..... <makes phone call to wife at work> OK, back now. I've just checked and, apparently, we have no plans to set up a bed and breakfast establishment. Just out of curiousity, what percentage of your audience do you think will be interested in this item? Four decimal places should suffice. Next...

12:10 and no sign of a fourth story on your web page ... I'll come back in a bit.

<Goes away for 10 minutes>

Still nothing. I've got better things to do than sit here waiting for somebody to do their job, so Twitter to the rescue! From your feed:

4) NORWAY - Norwegian singer Anita Skorgan (album: 'Adventus') sings live from Oslo after Norway's awful week : Thanks, but I'll be listening to Stuart Maconie by then.

Have a great weekend. I'll be back on Monday for the weekly scraping of the news barrel.


UPDATE:

Rather than just continuing with your blatantly biased bashing of Murdoch, why don't you switch your viewpoint to cover the atrocities occuring in your own particular Ivory Tower? Try these two for starters:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2011/jul/26/ally-mccoist-rangers-bbc-apology

http://newsnetscotland.com/index.php/scottish-opinion/2844-mccoist-apology-what-does-this-tell-us-about-the-bbc.html

 

Go on, I dare you, and I'd listen to that.

The BBC is the biggest and blackest Pot when compared to Murdoch's kettle.

Bias - alive and well at the Biased Broadcasting Corporation.

Today's show 20/07/11

(Late today due to JV web page not being updated until 12:20)

I guess that there is a price to pay for your new-found enthusiasm for Twitter, in that today's topics were posted there at about 09:30 this morning, yet here we are at 11:40 and your web page has not been updated with the same information. As updating both seems to be a bit too much for you, here is a serious offer of help: Send me the details of what you are planning to discuss and I will write your web page text for you. I promise to be objective, realistic and write without any sensationalism or hyperbole. Give me access to your web page and I'll even upload and publish it for you. I would make no charge for this service. You know where I am. What could possibly go wrong?

Anyway, at 09:35 the topics according to Twitter were: "Today's programme in four words: Murdoch. Libya. Euro. Famine.", but your web page readers are being kept in suspense. I'll come back in a bit...

<Goes away for 15 minutes>

11:55 and still no update. Is this what we pay our TV Licence Tax for?

<Goes away for 10 minutes>

12:05, still nothing.

<Goes away again>

Finally, at 12:20, we have four good reasons not to listen today....

1) SYMPATHY FOR MURDOCH? - Were you convinced by Rupert Murdoch's performance? He is, after all eighty. Did you feel sorry for him, or was it just one big act? We speak to Age UK : Age UK are one of the UK's leading charities and do all sorts of fantastic work, yet on Ken's show you said "Help The Aged, or whatever they are called these days". Do you consider it acceptable that a leading broadcast journalist cannot remember the name of a major UK charity? Do you still go in to your local sweet shop and ask for a Marathon bar? As for Murdoch, well it is plainly obvious that the BBC will not be happy until both Murdochs have stakes thrust through their hearts, are shot with a dozen silver bullets and then crucified before being hung, drawn and quartered. And I bet your heart sank when Mr Marbles attempted to thrust the flan in his face, as in an instant Murdoch Senior changed from being a Billionaire Media Tycoon in to a fragile old man who was the victim of an unprovoked assault. He will have gained a lot of sympathy for that. Next...

2) MEDIA COVERAGE: MURDOCH OR FAMINE? - As the famine in Somalia becomes official, are you angry that the foam in Murdoch's face is getting more coverage than thousands of people starving to death? : A good question, with a simple answer: Because stories about famines do not sell newspapers or boost listener and viewer figures, and the demise of Murdoch is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING that has ever happened in the history of the world, apparently. Once again, you are distancing yourself from your beloved Media, even though you are part of it. How can you do that? Hypocrisy is alive and well on the JV Show! So, what are you going to do about the famine then? Can we look forward to seeing the launch of The Jeremy Vine Appeal for Famine Relief? I'll send you £20 if you do. Next...

3) EUROPEAN ECONOMICS - As the Euro teeters on the brink, we take you on a journey round Europe's capitals. If the Euro economies collapse, does Britain fall with it? Find out more in this Economist article : You described this on Ken's show as "The Euro, again another story that is not being reported because of a custard pie". Excuse me, but it was YOUR PROGRAMME that has also jumped on the Murdoch Media Band Wagon and chose not to report this story until now. Please just get off your "holier than thou" high horse. In answer to your question, I have no idea, no time to find out and insufficient influence to do anything about it. Do you? Next... (The link given on the JV web page was a duplicate of the BBC famine story and did not link to The Economist)

4) TRIBUTE FM - We speak to the man that runs the rebel radio station in Libya. How do you broadcast when you're under attack? Find out more in this Guardian article : Again, you described this on Ken's show as "... the equivalent of my show in Libya ...". Those poor people. Not only do they have to endure bombs, bullets, civil unrest and an over-bearing dictator but they also have to endure somebody on their radio talking about wheelie bins, poor parking, handbags, polytunnels and nicking stories from the Libyan equivalent of the Daily Mail. No wonder Libya is in such a mess.

I've just noticed that I am no longer following @theJeremyVine and seem to be prevented from doing so. I wonder if this is a technical fault (although I seem to be able to follow anybody else that I wish to) or whether it is just a case of you not liking what I say. I hope it is not the latter as that would surely be suppression of my free speech as a member of the public (i.e. me) to a public figure (i.e. you) who is forever encouraging me to "tell me what you think" and who then tries to tell me what I should be thinking. Criticism is a stock-in-trade of your show, and it is such a shame that you want to be immune from it. My blog soared through 5000 page views yesterday, so my criticism will continue. See you on Twitter, even if the conversation is now one-sided.

And finally, today's programme in four words:

Murdoch. Bias. Continues. Unabated.

Nothing. Of. Interest. Today.

I. Won't. Be. Listening.

Get. Off. My. Radio.

6. Music. Much. Better.

Today's show 19/07/11

It looks to be an interesting day for The Media, with The Media being a major part of the news coverage by The Media. What could possibly go wrong?

 

Meanwhile, the accuracy of this made me chuckle: http://cityunslicker.blogspot.com/2011/07/voice-of-people.html

 

So let's look at today's paltry offerings...

1) MURDOCH'S AND BROOKS FACE CULTURAL SELECT COMMITTEE - Rupert Murdoch and his son James will today face the cultural select committee, along with the former News of the World editor Rebekah Brooks. What questions would you like the MP's on the select committee to ask them? : Aha! Good to see that the fabled Greengrocers' Apostrophe (http://www.wordspy.com/words/greengrocersapostrophe.asp) remains alive and well. For your information, the plural of Murdoch is "Murdochs", and the plural of MP is "MPs". I'm following your Twitter feed to see the questions that your listeners would like to be asked, and there are some very good and reasonable questions being suggested. What puzzles me though is how you will pass these questions to the members of the Select Committee, or perhaps they just read your Twitter page. My favourite so far has to be from SteelCat: How many cream crackers can you fit in your mouth at one time? Next...

2) ELECTRONIC SHOCK COLLAR - A dog owner in Ogmore in South Wales has been fined £2,000 for illegally using an electronic shock collar on his dog. Are such collars cruel, or are they a sensible way to control a dog? : Shock collars are illegal in Wales where I live, and I don't own a dog. On that basis I am sorry to say that any discussion on this topic is completely irrelevant to me. Next...

3) WHEELIE BIN FINE - Bedford council could fine householders £1,000 for leaving their bins out, because of a potential hazard to blind people. Find out more in this Daily Mail article : Aaahhhh.... the Daily Mail - hip, hip, hooray! Our collective thanks must surely go to the Daily Mail today for that fine picture of some overflowing wheelie bins. Education is a wonderful thing. I feel sure that the residents of Bedford will express their dissatisfaction with this arrangement when they next get an opportunity to elect their councillors. As for me, I don't live in Bedford and it seems that my local council have a much more enlightened outlook on this issue. Next...

4) WESTMINSTER UPDATE - Finally, we go to Westminster and set the scene, as the minutes tick before the Murdoch's face parliament : Hmmmm.... this sounds like a recipe for speculation, conjecture and waffle. So, no change there then.

Today's show 18/07/11

Another Monday, but it appears that your media colleagues threw you a lifeline yesterday...

1) SIR PAUL STEPHENSON RESIGNS - The Met chief, Sir Paul Stephenson resigns. Then he suggests what he did wasn't as bad as what Prime Minister David Cameron did : You know, the thing that puzzles me about the whole "phone hacking" thing (and I use that term loosely now as it seems to be encompassing all sorts of other dubious activities) is the continued media reporting that this story is confined to News International, and News International alone. There was mention last week of similar behaviour by the Daily Mirror and Piers Morgan, but that seems to have come to nothing again. At the forefront of the NI attacks is, of course, our dear old Auntie BBC. It is as though the BBC have an agenda to follow that includes seeing Murdoch destroyed and Cameron weakened, maybe even deposed. Here then is the patronising BBC trying to make out that NI was guilty of abuse of power when - in my opinion - it does exactly the same by forcing us (we have no choice, or do we?) to pay for its output and pumping out its own toxic brand of bias and deliberate misinformation every day. So, where is the mention of Lord Ashcroft's claims (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/phone-hacking/8634565/Lord-Ashcroft-again-accuses-Tom-Baldwin-of-blagging-bank-details.html) that Ed Miliband's ex-NI man Tom Baldwin obtained information to which he was not entitled? Conveniently forgotten about and/or ignored, I would suggest. I hope, pray and have everything crossed that the BBC end up embroiled in this mess, and if/when they do I will be laughing all the way to 6 Music. Next...

2) AQUAHOLICS - Are you an aquaholic who can't stop drinking water? Apparently Nigella Lawson has been. Find out more in this Daily Mail article : Monday, and a Daily Mail story in second place. No surprises there then. And I love your use of the word "apparently", which serves no purpose other than to cause that short moment of doubt about whether the story is true, or not. But hey, it was in the Daily Mail so it must be true. Anyway, and in answer to your question: No, I am not. Next...

3) THE TERRITORIAL ARMY - The government wants to increase the numbers in the Territorial Army. But to pay for it, we're going to have to cut the regular army. Who would you rather be defended by, Andy McNabb, or Gareth from 'The Office'? : Hmmm... Which I would rather be defended by, a retired soldier and best-selling author, or a fictional character? I'll get back to you on that one ... maybe. In the meantime, no surprise to see that your blatant stereotyping is alive and well, and I hope that some TA members put you right. Next you'll be telling us that Drop The Dead Donkey was a documentary and that all journalists are truthful and trustworthy pillars of society. Next...

4) COMING OUT - Coming out as gay when you’re old. Is this you, a friend, or even a parent?: In case you hadn't noticed, this is not news - but it is a typical JV Show Monday story. In answer to your questions: No, No and No.

Today's show 15/07/11

Not on strike today then? No solidarity with The Bruvvers? Will I notice any difference? The uutterly appalling Nicky Campbell did his 5 Live listeners a favour this morning but not showing up for work, so why are you there? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14152795)

One advantage of signing-up to Twitter yesterday (as JVineBlogMan, although I am still trying to get the hang of it) was that I was able to spectate on the second "Ask Ed Miliband" session yesterday evening. Honestly, whoever persuaded him that this was a good idea is either a fool or somebody who doesn't like him very much. There were a lot of pointless questions asked, and for the benefit of my blog readers here are some of my favourites... ooops, I mean... here are some of the most irrelevant:

 - On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is not at all and 10 is absolutely disastrous, how helpful was Gordon Brown's intervention yesterday?
 - Can you confirm you're a 14 quadrillionth size Ed Zettaband?
 - When you were little, did you nick your big brother's toys, realise you didn't know how they worked, then break them?
 - Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near ?
 - Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person that drives a race car is not called a racist?
 - Would you rather fight off one horse-sized duck, or twenty duck-sized horses?
 - If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
 - When your political career is finished is there any chance you and your brother could be in the 118 adverts?
 - Did you run as a paper candidate in the leadership contest and now feel a bit scared and don't know what you're doing?
 - Will you be giving a single answer, over and over again to each question?
 - After last time you did this, what on earth made you think it was a good idea to do it again?
 - Has the government acted in a reckless and provocative manner? Should both sides put away the rhetoric and get around the table?
 - Have you been involved in an accident that wasn't your fault? If so, you could claim compensation.
 - Why did you leave the Muppet Show?
 - Are you paying too much for your car insurance?
 - I bought powdered water. What do I add?
 - Is there a sweet you can eat between meals without ruining your appetite?
 - If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?
 - Do both sides need to set aside the rhetoric and get around the negotiating table to stop this happening again?
 - If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it is it Nick Clegg's fault?
 - Which is more likely to be true - time travel as in the Terminator (linear), or Back to the Future (alternative branches)?
 - Will you go to the Commons and apologise to Vince Cable for saying he should be sacked for his 'war on Murdoch'?
 - Is it true you would do anything for love but you won't do that?
 - Are these strikes wrong? Have the public been let down by both sides? Should we put aside the rhetoric??
 - I've just taken all the tiles off my bathroom and need to retile. Should I get the wall plastered or put up plasterboard?
 - If somebody with multiple personalities threatens suicide, does that become a hostage situation?
 - Daddy or chips?

Shocking behaviour by some questioners, I am sure you will agree. And it looks like that naughty blogger Guido Fawkes (http://order-order.com/) may have had something to do with it. There were some serious questions asked, but they mainly concerned Ed's presence at a party hosted by Murdoch recently, and they all went unanswered too. Poor Ed.

So, how about discussing the influence of Twitter on modern-day politics? Is it relevant, or just an irrelevance?

And how about discussing how promptly news-based (allegedly) radio programmes should update their web pages? 11:35, you've been on Ken's show and I'm waiting...

11:55 ... still waiting for the web site, so will make do with your Twitter stuff...

1) REBEKAH BROOKS RESIGNS : Blimey, who'd have thought, eh? Never saw this coming, did you? And hopefully yet another nail in the coffin of the Dead Tree Press (http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/7098398/a-blow-to-an-already-struggling-industry.thtml). I suspect that - yet again - you will concentrate on Murdoch and News International, and conveniently forget the allegations against the Daily Mirror, Gordon Brown's extraordinary speech in the House of Commons, and the Guardian's apology to The Sun for getting it wrong (http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/series/correctionsandclarifications). And, once again, the clarification is not given anything like the prominence of the original article. You describe this as "a shame", yet for me and many others it comes as no surprise at all. Journalists, pah! Thick as thieves, but lacking their integrity. Next...

2) MILITARY MEDALS - A soldier dies in Iraq. His widow receives a medal. His mother says, why not me, too? Find out more in this Birmingham Mail article : A fair question. I look forward to hearing about the change that your programme makes to this situation today. I won't hold my breath though. Next...

3) CYCLING SAFELY - You want to start cycling. Good for the planet and good for your cardiovasculars. Just one issue: how do you cycle without dying? : I took my Cycling Proficiency Test at school in 1972. I sold my bike in 1975 and put the money towards my first car. I can remember riding a bike once since then (on holiday in Majorca in 1987), and I've not ridden once since. And there are too many hills around here. Next...

4) LOTTERY WINNERS - The couple who won the Euromillions — more than £160m — are revealed to be in Falkirk. Will it destroy their life? : Probably not, but I'm sure that you will give it your best shot.

The Jeremy Vine Show - ignoring elephants a speciality

Today's show 14/07/11

Mmmmm.... bacon and mushroom sandwich....

You know, writing my blog is a real treat, and it continues to amaze me that so many people take time out from their busy days to read my rants and ramblings. As we head towards 4800 page views I again thank them for their continued support.

I also have to thank you Jeremy, for providing me with my daily ammunition. This week has been exceptional in that your web site lacky has managed to get your page updated before 11am, which means that I can start my diatribe earlier and have more time to think about what I am going to say to you. It allows me to have a quick read about the stories you are covering, rather than just believing what you want me to believe, and to sort the wheat from the chaff. So let's look at the chaff on offer today, and I bet you talk about Murdoch - again...

1) INDUSTRIAL PLANT EXPLOSION - An explosion at an industrial plant in Boston, Lincolnshire kills five people. One theory is they were illegally distilling vodka : Theory? And from the BBC news web page: "Claims the men may have been distilling illegal alcohol are being investigated", and "Nerys McGarry, from Lincolnshire Police, said it was not yet clear what had caused the blast", and "Mr Moore said it was still unclear what had caused the fire, but the intense heat and rapid spread suggested some form of accelerant", and "At this stage we cannot say what caused such intense heat or fire spread". So... just one thing missing then: Facts. And what do we do when we don't have the facts? C'mon Jeremy, you know the answer to this one.... Yes, that's right, well done: We make them up. And then we go on and on and on and on about what we have made up until somebody somewhere starts to believe what we are saying. I believe that this is what is taught in the first term at Journalist School. I am led to believe that the second term covers filling in an expenses claim, and the third covers all of the naughty things that only other journalists do. Needless to say, and with the strong possibility of a visit from your old friends Conjecture, Sensationalism and Speculation, it comes as absolutely no surprise to me that you are covering this story today. After all, what would be the point in waiting 24 hours when events might just be a little clearer and you may be able to tell us what REALLY happened? Oh yes, of course, it doesn't make good radio. Next...

2) RUPERT MURDOCH - Murdoch has withdrawn the bid for BSkyB. One commentator says it's not just bad for him, but this will spell the end of his empire : In your dreams maybe. A Murdoch story: I knew I wouldn't be disappointed. So which commentator is this then? The only one mentioned on the BBC news page you link to is Robert Peston, and his personal links with News International seem to be questioned by some, and as I mentioned yesterday (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2013684/Is-BBCs-Robert-Peston-close-Rupert-Murdochs-man-Will-Lewis.html). Meanwhile, the phone hacking scandal appears to be spreading to other news organisations, with Piers Morgan in the firing line in relation to his time at the Daily Mirror. We can only hope that that particular title disappears too. Are you going to mention Gordon Brown's appearance in the House of Commons yesterday? It was good to see him back and in his usual fine form, ignoring questions, avoiding answers and talking about his favourite subject: Himself. And I loved the way that some Tory-led Coalition MPs (to use common BBC parlance) called out "Bye bye, see you next year, have a great Christmas" as he left the chamber. Poor Gordon. Next...

3) FEAR OF DEATH - Do your perfectly healthy children lie awake at night, afraid of dying? We look at children who are obsessed with death : What children are those then? And like Ken, I cannot remember this happening to me. What's the betting that you run out of things to talk about and open this up to all sorts of irrational fears? This would allow you to poke fun at most of your listeners in one way or another. Spiders, heights, air travel, enclosed spaces, open spaces, dentists and needles must surely be fair game. Mine is cotton wool. I can't stand the stuff. I am sure it will be absolutely fascinating. Zzzzzzz... Next...

It is 11:35 and it this point I'll retract my thanks and congratulations for getting your web page updated promptly as the fourth item (something to do with parking in Edinburgh) is yet to appear....

<Goes away for 10 minutes...>

4) HOSPITAL CAR PARK - Doctors and nurses in Edinburgh who can't get into a hospital car park are having their cars vandalised by residents, who resent them parking there. Find out more in this Scotsman article : That wording is dreadful, but I think I know what you mean. However, this story could not be more irrelevant to me so I don't need to listen. Next...

How about doing some stories from the Daily Mail? You know, just for a change? I miss them...

And in your honour I have created a Twitter account ... I wonder what mischief I can get up to there.

UPDATE: And Galloway makes an appearance in the Murdoch item.

Today's show 12/07/11

Can we guess what the lead story will be today? Will it be more accusations against News International, I wonder, or will it be the BBC's backtracking about a commitment they made? Let's see...

1) GORDON BROWN - In new revelations, Gordon Brown claims there was a conspiracy between News International and the criminal underworld to discredit him, in order to obtain the medical records of his young boy Fraser and his personal bank details. Jeremy talks to Wilf Stevenson; Labour Peer in the House of Lords, Alistair Campbell; Former Labour press secretary, Sally-Anne Poole; Investigations manager at the Information Commissioner's Office and Mike Richards; Former private investigator : Gordon who? Oh yes, I remember him...

The important word in your description is, of course, "claims". The important word on the BBC news web page is "alleged". Until such words as "accuses" and "prosecution" appear then, in my mind, there is no story here and you will waste your listeners time with yet another journey to the Land of Speculation and Conjecture.

Interesting that you have got Campbell as a contributor on this item: What a short memory you and your BBC colleagues have! This was the man who back in 2003 famously berated the BBC in an appearance before a House of Commons committee, and later during a Channel Four interview, yet here he is now behaving as the new darling of the BBC. I'm not sure who is being more hypocritical here, you or Campbell. Anyway, the last time I listened to anything he said (something to do with WMD, if I remember correctly) it turned out to be a lie, so I could not possibly trust him to tell me anything that is either truthful or interesting.

 

So why haven't you got Gordon on your programme? Oh yes, he doesn't like you, does he? Perhaps he should raise the subject in parliament, but that would mean actually turning up and doing his job though so it is not going to happen.

 

For your information, the BBC's backtracking is described in the Daily Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8629443/Anger-as-BBC-backtracks-on-promise-over-stars-salaries.html):

Anger as BBC backtracks on promise over stars' salaries

The BBC has infuriated ministers by reneging on a promise to publish detailed information about the salaries of its top stars.

A good day to bury bad news, don't you think?

 

Ken just asked a good question: "Will the public lose interest?". As one who does not pay one single penny specifically to obtain "news" I can assure you that this particular member of the public lost interest in the sordid activities of all news organisations a long, long time ago. Next...

2) BELFAST RIOTS - As loyalists celebrate the Battle of the Boyne at the height of the marching season, last night trouble erupted between young loyalists and nationalist gangs : It happens. Every year. What are you going to do about it? Next...

3) TODDLER DEATH - A twenty-two month old toddler has drowned in a leisure club pool in Salford : Tragic. Next...

4) SPOON-BILLED SANDPIPER - And finally, a wildfowl charity travels to the north-east corner of Russia, in order to save a rare species of sandpiper. How much effort is it worth to protect a bird that is virtually extinct? : What a stupid question! How much effort? As much as they want to, that's how much! Their money, their people, their freedom of choice. Fortunately for me it is not much effort at all to switch to 6 Music at 12.