Today's show 03/08/11

The time is 11:28 and I am about to listen to your selfless promotion on Zoe's show. I see that you are keeping your web page readers waiting again today as details of today's four discussion topics are still to be published there, yet they appeared on Twitter an hour ago. And the reason for that is what, exactly?

So, I know what the stories are, but I am going to wait for the web page update as I want to see what spin you put on one story in particular. I'll come back in a bit...

<Goes away for 10 minutes>

Good here, isn't it....?

<Goes away for another 10 minutes>

Sigh....

<Goes away again>

Once again, you've done your introduction and the news is being read as I type this, and still no web page update. I've got better things to do than wait for somebody there to get their finger out, so I'll use the stories from your Twitter feed instead today, but first I need to file a complaint on the BBC web site, and here it is:

Mr Vine's show web page is used to give details of the four topics for discussion on each day's programme. However, since Mr Vine discovered Twitter the updating of this page has got later and later each day.

Today (3rd August 2011) Mr Vine posted outline details of the four topics on his Twitter feed by 10:35, with more details posted around 11:00. As I write this (at 12:10) the show is already in to the first discussion topic yet the web page has not been updated to show all four topics.

My complaint is that this treatment of non-Twitter users is unfair and unwarranted and that they should have access to the same information at the same time as Twitter users.

1) Story 1. Is @johnniemarbles only going to prison because he foam-flanned a Murdoch? : This one actually does get a mention in your web page heading: "Jeremy discusses if 6 weeks in jail is too long for throwing a foam pie at Rupert Murdoch". So, that leaves us in no doubt as to what your view is, does it? You could, of course, have adopted an unbiased view and worded it like this: "Jeremy discusses whether appropriate punishment is to be given to the man who assaulted Rupert Murdoch", or similar. But no, we have to have your own opinion rammed down our throats, as usual. It was interesting to see that somebody else has a similar view of your handling of this item when they predicted on Guido Fawkes web site (comment 13 http://order-order.com/2011/08/02/jonathan-may-bowles-goes-down/#comments) "I suppose that bleeding heart liberal Jeremy Vine will be hosting another Charlie Gilmore-esque love in tomorrow for this class warrior also?". I have seen few predictions as accurate and as factually correct as that one. As for Mr Bowles, perhaps he had better learn how to not drop the soap. Next...

2) Story 2. Have Top Gear crossed the line by taking the rise out of the new Nissan: car companies are commercial, TG is public sector : Interesting that you have to point out that "TG is public sector", which means that your programme is too. Yet you "take the rise" out of all types of people and subjects, and also do blatant advertising, and yet you are allowed to get away with it. So what is the difference? Ah yes, nobody can criticise you, and if they do you just ignore it. My advice to Clarkson et al would be to do exactly the same. As for electric cars themselves, I've just checked where I could recharge one in North Wales. The ONLY place is on the Holyhead to Dublin ferries (http://www.electriccarsite.co.uk/electric-car-charging-points and http://www.chargingstation.co.uk/charging_station_locations.html) but even if I give my electric car a full charge at home it would have run out before I got to Holyhead. And I'd have to buy a ferry ticket to Dublin. A pointless and irrelevant discussion then. Next...

3) Story 3. After tragic suicide of young mum, should people with lifelong depression avoid having children? : I have no idea, or interest. Excuse me while I go and slash my wrist. Next...

4) Story 4. Military cuts mean, if the Falklands were invaded now, we would have to let them go : I am sure that whoever is planning to invade will be grateful for bringing this rumoured shortcoming to their attention. Unfortunately there is not much that I can do about it, and you will do even less.

Can we hope that normal web page service will be resumed tomorrow? I've got better things to do than wait for somebody there to (not) do their job!

Oh, and here's a thought for you. Next time you go away on holiday, rather than have the vile Vanessa Feltz, the ineffective Matthew Bannister or that other anonymous bloke stand in, can we have Jeremy Clarkson instead? I'd listen to that.


UPDATE:

Finally, at some point during this afternoon and a long, long time after JV's programme finished, somebody updated the web page. The text and links are repeated here for completeness and future reference:

1) JONATHAN MAY-BOWLES - Jonathan May-Bowles is jailed for 6 weeks for throwing a foam pie at Rupert Murdoch. Is the sentence excessive or about right? Jeremy talks to Peter Hitchens, columnist and author and journalist Angela Epstein

2) DEFENCE CUTS - A committee of MPs attacks the government over defence cuts. Let’s imagine it’s 2015 and Argentina has re-invaded the Falkland Islands: Would we be able to respond? Jeremy chats to Admiral Sir Alan West, former security minister and former head of the Royal Navy and Times columnist Matthew Parris


3) DEPRESSION - A mother commits suicide and murders her own 2 children. In a heart-wrenching letter she says because of her depression, she just couldn’t cope and she couldn’t bear the thought of other people bringing up her children. Jeremy is joined by Lucy Jolin, author of Coping with Birth Trauma and Post Natal Depression, and Jeremy Vine Show agony aunt and broadcaster Barbara Want. Find out more in this Daily Mail article.

4) ELECTRIC CARS - Jeremy Clarkson drives a Nissan Leaf electric car through Lincolnshire and can’t find a suitable docking point. Is a Top Gear stunt in danger of destroying one of our new industries? Jeremy chats to James Max, broadcaster, and Rory Reid, the Car Tech editor of comsumer techonology review website CNET UK.

I wonder why JV didn't talk to Clarkson.....!?!