Today's show 30/09/11

Is this a record? The time is 09:45 and the show's web page has already been updated with today's stories. This makes such a pleasant change from the situation only a few weeks ago where the web page wasn't being updated until after the programme had started. So what has changed? Has somebody finally been told to do their job properly? If so, it is about bloomin' time.

I notice again that there are no links to newspaper web pages. Time for another complaint, I feel (see below).

Anyway, welcome back Paddy - whoever you are. All I will say is: You are an improvement on the abominable Ms Feltz.

Today's issue that affects me: Today is the last day of free supermarket carrier bags here in Wales, but what is the best way to mark this event?

So, what despicable drivel has the producer stitched you up with today then? Let's see...

1) BINS - The government has found an extra £250 million to bring back weekly bin collections which it says is the “right” of every householder. But can we afford it in these difficult times? : This is a story that was discussed by Ms Feltz as recently as 31st May and described thus: WEEKLY BIN COLLECTIONS - Reports say that the government will give councils cash incentives to restore weekly bin collections with a link to an article in The Independent (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/councils-offered-cash-to-keep-weekly-bin-collections-2291073.html). The important sentence in the BBC news page that you link to today, as far as I am concerned, is: The government says it will make £250m available to help English councils keep or restore weekly bin collections. "English", not "Welsh". To repeat what I wrote on 31st May: Here in Gwynedd we have a weekly bin collection that alternates between household waste and garden waste. We also have a separate weekly collection for items to be recycled. We are provided with good quality bins in which to store rubbish between collections. Collections occur every Monday morning, including bank holidays, and it all works rather well for me. I see no need at all to have three separate collections every week. As you will appreciate, I am struggling to find any relevance to this story. First Feltz, then you - doesn't Jeremy like talking about bins? Next...

2) DIALLING 999 - We discuss the 2 year old who knew to dial 999 when her mother collapsed. At what age do you tell your kids about the emergency services? : What kids are those then? Next...

3) MOTORWAY SPEED LIMIT - The Department of Transport wants to increase the speed limit on motorways to 80 mph. It claims it’s good for economic growth, but admits it may also increase casualties : Another repeated story, this time from 28th February when you were standing in for Jeremy, and described thus: MOTORWAYS - With the government considering increasing the speed limit on motorways to 80 mph, we speak to someone who went on a speed awareness course and says they’ll never speed again. As I said in February: They have motorways in England, and the only one in Wales is a long way away from here. My nearest ones are the M56 and the M54, both about 90 miles away in England. Do you think this item is relevant to me? I thought not. Next...

4) ALLOTMENT - Finally, are you enjoying the sunny weather? Terry is on his allotment in the Rhondda : Could you ask Terry "Sound Effects Man" Walton a question for me? Could you ask him what he thinks about the end of free carrier bags in Wales? Not that I'll be listening, of course.

Two items dragged back from the past, and the very definitely non-news twaddle allotment item. I think you definitely have been stitched up!

If you really want to repeat stories, how about repeating the one from 6th September where you discussed the driving of a 4x4 car up Snowdon? It seems that it has happened again - with the same 4x4 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-15108712). I was glad to see that the BBC have chosen to check the facts (A BBC reporter, who travelled to the summit on Thursday, said the vehicle matched the description and number plate of the vehicle from the earlier incident.) but I'm not sure that spending £25 and three hours on a train journey to the summit was the best use of his time or my licence fee.

The Jeremy Vine Show - regurgitating rubbish repeatedly



Complaint lodged on BBC web site:

The topics to be discussed in Mr Vine's daily programme are listed on his show web page every day, together with a link to another web page for more information. Until a few weeks ago a large number of these links would be to web pages belonging to various newspapers, but recently only BBC web pages have been included. This can lead to some frustration when no relevant BBC web page is available and so no link is shown.

While I am happy to read the BBC's view of events it is also good to read the alternative viewpoints expressed in the printed press, and my complaint is that I am now deprived of this useful facility.

 

 

Freedom of Information request sent to BBC:

 

I would like to know how many complaints in total were received by the BBC Complaints Department that related specifically to the Jeremy Vine programme on Radio 2 during the most recent 12-month period for which you have details available.

Today's show 29/09/11

Another lovely sunny day here in North Wales - global warming at its best! Monbiot has got it all wrong.

I'm loving these early web page updates. The time is 10:24 and here I am with all of the information I need about your programme today. Keep up the good work, as it makes my morning so much more organised and less frantic. And still there are no links to newspaper web sites ... interesting!

I see that Rory Weal continues to make the news headlines. He is the 16-year old darling of the Labour Conference that you interviewed the other day, remember? The Daily Mail launch in to him again today (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2042366/Rory-Weal-Labour-mantra-hate-finds-new-star.html) with another blistering attack on his misleading speech to the conference. All that stuff about his home being repossessed (under the Labour government) and not being able to afford to go to school seems to fly in the face of his ownership of an iPad (http://orderorder.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/rory1.jpg) but perhaps that is just me being cynical and an iPad is more important to his life than the bus fare to school. This was commented on by Robert Catesby on Guido Fawkes' web site when he wrote:
I work my nuts off to pay very high levels of tax. My money then gets given to the son of a millionnaire, who uses my money to buy an Ipad. He then stands on a conference platform to tell me how evil I am.
Rory, give me my f**king Ipad back you ungrateful little s**t.

What a shame that you couldn't be bothered to investigate his background before inviting him on to your programme. I know that gullibility is a stock-in-trade of your programme, but surely somebody should have checked up on him just a little bit, shouldn't they? Under normal circumstances a respectable broadcaster would put out some kind of follow-up story now that these facts have come to light. So, no chance of that then.

Today's issue that affects me: Harry Hill has quit TV Burp - one of the very few programmes I watch on ITV. Are we all going to die?

(http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2043123/Harry-Hill-quits-TV-Burp-years.html)

So, what tedious topics do we have to look forward to today?

1) ADOPTION - Why do the adoption authorities make it so difficult to adopt a baby in this country? : Errrr... can you ask me one on pop music? I have no idea, I am not adopted, and I have no plans to adopt a child, so this is of no interest to me. Next...

2) IRISH PRESIDENCY - Martin McGuinness is one of six people standing for President of the Irish Republic. Given that he was Chief of Staff for the IRA, should he first admit whether he was personally responsible for any killings? : Am I missing the point here? One sentence from the BBC web page that you link to states quite clearly: Mr McGuinness has denied all the allegations. That suggests to me that he has already said that he was not personally responsible, whether it be the truth or not. I guess that this is not good enough for you and this is another case of you continually asking the same question until you get the answer that you want. If not it certainly sounds like it. Next...

3) WAR GRAVES - Have you ever visited your Grandfather’s First World War grave? We talk to someone who has and tell you how to do it : Both of my Grandfathers were lucky enough to survive the First World War and were cremated in the UK during the 1970s. I went to both of their funerals. Next...

4) TORTOISE SANCTUARY - Finally, the woman who runs a tortoise sanctuary for 400 tortoises has had to close it down because the authorities say it’s a zoo : This is a real shame, despite her breaking the law. Set up the Jeremy Vine Tortoise Salvation Fund and I'll send you a £10 donation. Go on man, help the poor lady out and use your celebrity status to raise some money for her. It would make a pleasant change from just telling your listeners how bad it all is!

You said on Ken's show when talking about the tortoises: "I feel like I'm losing the will to live talking about these stories". Good to hear you telling the truth about the pointlessness of your own programme! Jeremy, let me tell you that I and many others lose the will to live just listening to you talking about these stories. So, why do you do it? You could always resign and get a proper job.

The Jeremy Vine Show - losing the will to live, every day.


UPDATE:


Yet again JV has been foolish enough to publish his script on Twitter. I'm no fan of Mr McGuiness but I do believe in innocent until proven guilty...

Follow up email sent to JV:

Just seen your script on Twitter: http://lockerz.com/s/142916102

You're a brave man virtually accusing a former IRA chief of murder! Which would you prefer? Tar and feathers, or a good old-fashioned knee-capping?

Complaint lodged on BBC web site:

Mr Vine has just published a photo of his script for today's programme on his Twitter account. It can be seen here: http://lockerz.com/s/142916102

The second item states: "Martin McGuiness is standing to be IRISH PRESIDENT. Should he first admit how many people he has killed?". 

This makes a huge assumption that Mr McGuiness is indeed guilty of killing anybody. We have in the UK a simple rule that states "innocent until proven guilty". My complaint is that Mr Vine has chosen to make a public statement that assumes Mr McGuiness to be guilty of murder without any evidence to support such an accusation.

Today's show 28/09/11

It has just occurred to me that there has been a subtle change to your daily Radio 2 web page since my return last week. Not once since then has there been a link to a story from a newspaper and all of the "Read more here" links are to BBC web pages. Is this purely coincidental, or is it an attempt to make your stealing of stories from the Dead Tree Press just a little less obvious?

The newspapers will, of course, continue to provide a good background for your daily discussion topics and they, unlike you, actually do the investigative journalism needed to provide the real story behind your scant descriptions. For example, yesterday you discussed Rory Weal's speech at the Labour Conference and described it thus:
RORY WEAL - We spoke to the star of the Labour Conference, a 16 year old Labour activist, who says his family owes everything to the welfare state
Interesting then that today both the Daily Mail (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2042623/Rory-Weal-Child-star-Labour-conference-truth-life-poverty.html) and the Daily Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/labour/8792350/Labour-conference-star-Rory-Weal-is-former-private-school-pupil-whose-family-fell-on-hard-times.html) have run stories concerning Mr Weal in which they describe his extremely privileged upbringing, which he seems to have somehow forgotten. Suggestions have been made that he would make a good MP, even a Prime Minister. With that kind of background and his selective forgetfulness he should go far.

Today's issue that affects me: An ebay seller accidentally lost my payment due to a PayPal error and didn't send the goods. We went through the ebay dispute process, he found my payment and sent me the goods AND a full refund but over a month after I made my purchase. The goods arrived and are in full working order. Should I send my payment again?

On today's meaningless menu then...

1) ED MILIBAND - In his speech to the Labour Party Conference, Ed Miliband has attacked the ‘something for nothing’ culture in Britain. He made a distinction between good companies and bad companies. Do you work for a business that is a predator or a producer? : Oooohhh, I hope I'm a predator! You must be a predator too as you don't produce anything. So, according to Ed, it will up to the State to decide which companies are "good" and which companies are "bad". That should be fun. I wonder how he is going to do that. Did you notice, as I did, that he seems to have had some speech reading coaching? He now. Talks in. Very short. Sentences. Instead of listening to your discussion I'll keep myself amused by taking another look at http://awkwardedmilibandmoments.tumblr.com/. Next...

2) RIHANNA - A half naked Rihanna is told by a God-fearing farmer to stop filming her video on his land. A local journalist says he’s made Northern Ireland a laughing stock : Good to see a story that does not have its roots in London and the South East, even if it is a day old. And good to see that a local journalist (presumably the BBC "entertainment correspondent" featured in the film clip) continues to fight for a grip on anything to do with the Real World. I'm sure she'll get over it, it really isn't important. As for being half naked... I've told you a million times: Don't exaggerate! I was amused by a comment on your Twitter feed where one of your lucky followers (not me, of course, as I am still BLOCKED) who wrote "I assumed this must be midwestern US - now I read & see it's Wales!!!". No wonder your programme is lost on me. Next...

3) AFFAIRS - Lib Dem MP John Hemming says his wife was aware of his affairs. Are you a wife who’s turned a blind eye to your husband’s infidelity? : Am I a wife? No. Are you? Good to see sexism alive and well on the JV show. How about a husband who turns a blind eye to his wife's infidelity, or don't they make good radio? Next...

4) GREECE BAILOUT - The Greek Prime Minister says his country is suffering as it does everything the EU is asking of it to cut its deficit. But do you think the Greek people are suffering enough? : Good question! Yes..., errr..., I mean No. Oh, I don't know. Unfortunately I'm a bit busy today, otherwise I would have booked a flight for my first trip to Greece and asked them. It would be the least I could do and only then would I be able to form an opinion and answer your question. In the meantime, can I tick the "Don't Know" box?

The Jeremy Vine Show - last with yesterday's news, again


UPDATE:


Just seen JV's script on Twitter ... interesting use of commas and apostrophes:

Today's show 27/09/11

Just listening to you on Ken's show ... more misinformation. The Focus song with the yodelling was Hocus Pocus, not Sylvia. There are no vocals on Sylvia at all. Get it right Jeremy!

Today's issue that affects me: Should I switch to 6 Music at 12, or should I play one of my Focus CDs?

I have to thank my lovely wife for today's first piece of preamble, as it was she who spotted this:
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/09/26/ofcom-receives-complaints-about-rational-jeremy-vine-listener/

Now, I was only vaguely aware of newsbiscuit up until I read this, and I did not know that all of their news items are spoofs, but my immediate reaction to this one was "Brilliant, I so hope that is true" until it was explained to me that, unfortunately, it definitely was not true. How disappointing. But it seems that somebody who writes for newsbiscuit knows you and your show well, and certainly well enough to fool me - if only briefly. Congratulations!

A couple of interesting articles about journalism at the BBC were brought to my attention yesterday...

The first (http://blogs.reuters.com/mediafile/2011/09/26/the-future-of-journalism-in-the-uk/) was written the BBC's Director-General, Mark Thompson, in which he debates the threats to journalism caused by the phone hacking scandal, amongst other things, and continues the usual biased BBC line of attacking News International and The News Of The World in particular while conveniently ignoring that other news media organisations were also guilty of hacking. Unfortunately he fails to address one of the biggest problems with news journalism in this country, and that is that I and many other people simply do not believe what we are told by the news media any more.

The second (https://careers.bbc.co.uk/fe/tpl_bbc01.asp?newms=jj&id=40222&newlang=1) came as a result of reading your Twitter feed in which you encouraged your followers (not that I am one, of course, as I am still BLOCKED) to "GET INTO THE BEEB: This is pretty much best job in world if you're just starting out. I was on it, loved every second". Having looked through the detailed job description I am surprised that I cannot find anything about producing items with a bias to suit the BBC's own agenda. I guess that anybody who lives in The Real World, who has any semblance of honesty, integrity and self-esteem, who does not like "jollies" to Iceland, or has knowledge of how to use an apostrophe or how oil-fired central heating systems work need not apply.

Going back to yesterday's programme, and the discussion on care for elderly relatives, a contributor to my blog wrote the following, and it appears to be true: JV appears to have misread the story on item 3. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15052636 As I read it, the suggestion is that visiting hours should be extended so that relatives could help if they wished. Not that they should be helping. Subtle but important difference, clearly beyond JV.

Moving on to today's mindless mumblings then...

1) DEFENCE CUTS - Nearly 3,000 posts are cut at BAE Systems. But we talk to someone who’s pleased that defence jobs are going : Would that be Sally Bercow (http://orderorder.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/sally-bercow-bae.png) by any chance? It is a tragedy that the jobs are being lost, but this is a private company so they are free to run their business as they see fit, and nothing you discuss today will change anything, as usual. I would expect nothing less than bucketloads of faux compassion and a general attack on government policy. Next...

2) HORSE WHIPPING - The British Horseracing Authority was asked to ban the use of the horse whip. Its response was ‘don’t ban it, just use it less’ : Asked? Who by? Nowhere can I find anything about who it was that asked the BHA to ban the use of whips, and it is not mentioned on the BBC news page that you link to. Are you making this up, again? I've never had any involvement with horse racing at all, other than a flutter at work many years ago on one Grand National, so I feel unable to form an opinion or have any interest in your discussion today. And in case you haven't noticed, the BHA have made their decision so you will be changing nothing - again. Next...

3) CANCER DRUGS - Cancer experts are saying that some cancer drugs are so expensive we can’t afford to use them on terminally ill patients. What price would you put on prolonging life? : I have no idea, but if I was suffering (and I mean suffering) from cancer and my life was only being prolonged by drugs then I would do everything I could to stop taking them. Next...

4) RORY WEAL - We spoke to the star of the Labour Conference, a 16 year old Labour activist, who says his family owes everything to the welfare state : Does he remind you of a young William Hague? What a sad indictment of this rotten country in which we live. Perhaps he wants to be famous when he grows up, and I am sure that the BBC will aid him in his endeavours. This just goes to show that you can fool some of the people some of the time.

The Jeremy Vine Show - misleading listeners every day

UPDATE:

COMMENT OF THE DAY from Jonathan Harris-Douglas: "Please ask Jenny Pitman whether she would like to be whipped."

This comment was posted on your Twitter feed at 13:24. How can you decide that it is the "COMMENT OF THE DAY" when your programme has 35 minutes left to run?

Complaint about JV's use of Twitter 26/09/11

The following complaint has just been lodged on the BBC's web site:

I note that as of 22:30 on 26th September 2011 Mr Vine has posted no less than 2126 "tweets" to his Twitter account. A quick scan of the posting times shows that roughly 50% of these were posted during the time when I would expect Mr Vine to be preparing and broadcasting his Radio 2 programme.

It is common amongst most employers that use of social networking internet sites such as Twitter is banned during working hours. As a Licence Fee payer, I consider that Mr Vine is wasting his time and my money in his exuberant use of Twitter, and feel that his time would be better spent developing and improving his Radio 2 programme, especially as the vast majority of his listeners will not be following his Twitter feed.

Mr Vine clearly states at the top of his Twitter page "All views personal of course." yet then goes on to promote and discuss (in the loosest possible and highly edited sense) the content of his Radio 2 programme. I find his "my views are personal" and "this is what is on my Radio 2 programme, see you at noon" attitude to be an unintelligible dichotomy, especially as he chooses to block comments from some people who care to challenge or disagree with what he writes.

My complaints are (1) that Mr Vine is paying far too much attention to the distractions of Twitter when he should be "at work", (2) some of his messages are, I consider, damaging to the BBC's reputation, (3) Mr Vine is reluctant to accept challenging or critical comments yet provides no alternative method for passing on such comments with the ease that Twitter provides, and (4) the distinction between a personal Twitter account and one that actively promotes and encourages discussion on a BBC programme is blurred and needs to be redefined.

Today's show 26/09/11

Free carrier bags in supermarkets and shops come to an end in Wales at the end of this week, and from 1st October it will be the law to charge 5p for a carrier bag. See http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-wales-14735902 for more details.

Today's issue that affects me: Is this Wales leading where the rest of the UK will eventually follow, or are we all going to die?

Anyway, it is another Monday morning, and this is reflected in today's topics for discussion - as usual. But before I move on to those there are some other interesting bits and pieces that I have gleaned from various sources (including your Twitter feed) that I feel need to have a larger audience. So, and for the benefit of my blog readers, let's take a look at these first...

The first one is brilliant: http://tabloid-watch.blogspot.com/2011/09/mail-reports-joke-as-fact.html?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
I find it highly amusing that it was the Daily Mail that got this wrong, and have now frantically back-pedalled in an effort to hide their mistake. I would love an explanation from you of why you devote some much of your programme to stories from the Mail, yet here they are getting a story that concerns you so wrong. I'd advise you that there is no need to worry about this as your credibility is intact and unchanged - and firmly at rock bottom.

The second one appeared on your Twitter feed earlier today: http://news.sky.com/home/article/16077087

One day, perhaps, you might tell us something we don't know. Just because you think that ALL of your listeners and Twitter followers are idiots doesn't mean that they actually are. Give us some credibility, please.

Any chance of you unblocking my account on Twitter so I can follow you again? Or are you still ignoring all criticism of all that you do?

Right, on to today's random ramblings...

1) DRINK DRIVING - Northern Ireland wants to slash the drink-drive limit for young drivers and those who drive for a living : Sounds like a good plan, so what is there to discuss? Having said that, I don't live in Northern Ireland, and I don't drink alcohol ever, so they can do what they like. Next...

2) ECONOMY - Would a full and frank apology from Labour for overspending enable you to trust the party on the economy - or was the money essential for investment? : Your use of the word "overspending" is interesting as I am sure that you have many listeners who would disagree with your description. Is this yet another case of BBC bias, or are you just telling your listeners what to think again? Being of sound mind, the last thing I need is you telling me what to think, thank you very much. Next...

 

3) ELDERLY CARE - A nursing leader says that the relatives of elderly patients should go into hospitals to help staff care for them : No link on your web page, and I didn't hear your dialogue with Ken today, so I have no idea what this is about, and I shall remain blissfully ignorant on this occasion. Next...

 

4) LULLABIES - What is the lullaby that's guaranteed to get your child off to sleep? : Finally, a serious news story! Well done, give yourself a lollipop. And get off my radio.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - condescension at its best.

Today's show 23/09/11

You will remember your show that was broadcast from Iceland back in June. I submitted a Freedom of Information request about the costs and travel arrangements associated with that programme, but my request was turned down by the BBC's FOI department as my questions fell outside the BBC's own special interpretation of the FOI legislation. So, I appealed to the Information Commissioner's Office for the BBC's decision to be overturned and that the details I requested should be supplied. Despite their best efforts, they have advised me that previous legal challenges to the BBC have failed and that my request would fail too. This is all connected to the BBC refusing to give any information that relates to "art, journalism or literature". I am left wondering exactly what information the BBC would provide that could possibly fall outside of these three criteria in one way or another. Not much, I suspect.

As a licence payer I feel that I should be able to find out exactly how MY MONEY is being spent, but the BBC choose to keep that secret from me, and I feel that that is unfair. So...

Today's issue that affects me: Why is the BBC so secretive?

In the absence of any hard facts, I will continue to think that your trip to Iceland was nothing more than a "jolly" for you and your team. I am, of course, happy to be proved wrong.

 

I guess it will be a cold day in hell when you choose to discuss anything that relates to the corrupt, inefficient, biased and over-bearing BBC.

So, moving on to today's irrelevancies, and I note that you have chosen not to supply links to relevant pages today for some reason, so I shall supply my own....

1) ECONOMY - David Cameron says we're not quite staring down the barrel when it comes to the world economy but the pattern is clear. Is that how it feels in your business and high street, or is that too negative? : I rarely visit our nearest High Street so I am unable to form an opinion on that particular aspect. As for my business, I have more work than I know what to do with and I am currently taking bookings for work that I will not get to until next Spring. I have even tried quoting ridiculous prices for work in an effort to turn away work that I am not overly keen to do, and the reaction is always "Oooh, that sounds very reasonable". Is it just me? Next...

2) LIVING IN A SHED - A couple in Hampshire move into a shed to save money to buy a house - but the council says they can't live there : No surprise at all that I found this one in the Daily Mail (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2040486/Havant-Council-bans-NHS-worker-Victoria-Campbell-living-parents-shed.html). Interesting that the picture of a shed that you use on your web page (http://wwwimg.bbc.co.uk/programmes/i/86x48/45c918a66a7b50ffb8776ce2cf988a009aca227f.jpg) bears absolutely no relation to the shed in question. Was this a deliberate attempt to mislead your listeners? Planning Law is quite clear, and if this couple are in breach of those laws then the council will always have the final word, so what is there to discuss? Next...

 

3) FEMINISM - We discuss whether feminism has failed women : As a bloke, I hope you will understand why this is of no interest to me. Next...

4) RAG AND BONE MEN - Rag-and-bone men in Staffordshire have been told that they're too noisy : A quick search found more details (http://www.thisisstaffordshire.co.uk/Residents-want-noisy-rag-bone-men-fined-making/story-13380777-detail/story.html) but I don't live in Staffordshire and this is not a problem that we have around here. In the 9 years I have lived here I have never seen a so-called "rag and bone" man. In fact, they are not "rag and bone" men at all, they are scrap metal collectors. Rag and Bone men collected precisely that, rags and bones, but I suspect that there are not many - if any - left in the UK. More misinformation from the BBC!

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - completely unaccountable, apparently

Today's show 22/09/11, but what did I miss while I was away?

I'm back. After a busy but enjoyable two and a half weeks free of Radio 2 I am back to examine and criticise your programme today. Have you missed me?

But what did I miss while I was away? Could there have been one topic - just one - that would make me think "Ooooh, I wish I'd been around for that"? I can't be bothered to find the background and web site links to these stories but let's have a quick look anyway...

5th September: Jeremy discusses police wearing their uniforms on their way to work, swapping green fields for jobs and epilepsy, plus Deborah Meaden says that young people today won't do manual labour.
 - I'm not a policeman, and fail to understand what the issue was.
 - Swapping fields for jobs and epliepsy? I can't help but think there is a comma missing here.
 - Meaden is entitled to her opinion, but I didn't need to hear it.

6th September: Jeremy discusses whether prisons are working or not, "the usual rubbish about equal opportunities", the 'Red or Black' winner Nathan Hageman and the man who drove up Snowdon.
 - What did Ken Clarke say when you suggested alternatives to prison then? Oh, he wasn't there.
 - "The usual rubbish about equal opportunities"...?!?!?! The phrase "usual rubbish" can be applied to most things that you discuss, unfortunately.
 - Red or Black? That was on ITV, I think. Anyway, I didn't see it.
 - As Snowdon is only a few miles from me I already knew all I needed to about this.

7th September: Jeremy discusses Simon Jenkins' plans for the economy, pot holes, turning down jobs because of childcare costs and the 49 neighbours who went on holiday together.
 - Simon Jenkins is a journalist. Why should I listen to anything he says? He doesn't listen to me.
 - Really. How interesting..
 - We don't have children.
 - Good for them, but why is this news?

8th September: Jeremy discusses the Baha Mousa inquiry, fostering children and the Hackney Hero Pauline Pearce, plus Sir Stuart Bell comes on to answer the critics who have dubbed him the laziest MP.
 - I am sure that justice will be done.
 - So, did you talk about fostering children, cigars, or the council's attitude? Zzzzz....
 - Great.
 - Who is the laziest news broadcaster at the BBC? You know, somebody who doesn't do any of his own research and just nicks his stories out of the papers?

9th September: Jeremy discusses a victim using CSI tactics to trap her attacker, Eastern European nurses, memories from 9/11 and a possible energy breakthrough known as Laser Fusion.
 - Good for her.
 - More hysteria from the Daily Mail.
 - Yes, I remember where I was. So what?
 - Laser Fusion ... God help your listeners if it is more complicated than oil-fired central heating.

12th September: Jeremy discusses new banking restrictions, talks to David Miliband about the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, the slaves found in a travellers site and asks do you like a good storm?
 - Zzzzzz....
 - David Miliband? Didn't he used to be somebody important?
 - Sounds appalling, but how did YOU help them? Oh, you talked about them. Great.
 - Yes, but that is not news.

13th September: Jeremy discusses the kidnapped holiday maker in Kenya, gender dysphoria, seats in the House of Commons and hunting.
 - Never been to Kenya, never likely to go, a dangerous place.
 - Last time I checked I had a todger, and I am happy with that situation, thanks.
 - The green leather ones? And for your information, my nearest town already does not have its own MP.
 - Seems to me that the wrong living being was shot, but other than nothing what did your discussion achieve?

14th September: Jeremy discusses compensating children with material things, internet bullying, cancelling European debt and the school in Huddersfield which has banned mirrors in an effort to stop girls wearing make-up.
 - We have no children.
 - Am I an internet bully? I hope so!
 - So what did Geldof and Bono say then? Not enough publicity for them to get involved, I suspect.
 - Whatever.

15th September: Jeremy discusses sell-by dates, Jonny Marbles who threw a pie in Rupert Murdoch's face, marrying a murderer and the jobless figures.
 - The only conclusion I can come to is: We're all going to die.
 - Why? Does he have a book out?
 - I'm not likely to do that.
 - I've still got my job, thanks.

16th September: Jeremy discusses the miners trapped in Swansea, the investment banker who has been arrested, the return of caning to schools and the extra 12 minutes in the Danish working day.
 - How did your discussion help the miners? Did you call for a ban on coal mining?
 - Zzzzzzz....
 - No children!
 - How about you working 2 hours less per day to boost Radio 2's listening figures?

19th September: Paddy O'Connell sits in for Jeremy to discuss evicting travellers from Dale Farm and phone lines in prison cells. Plus, Saira Khan tells us about adopting from abroad, and what's your view on period dramas?
 - Paddy who?
 - Whatever.
 - Ditto.
 - And again.
 - For f**k's sake!

20th September: Jeremy discusses News International's payout to the Dowler family, submariner Ryan Donovan who's pleaded guilty to murder, Gurkhas taking over Aldershot and the revival of hymns.
 - Funny how you only ever discuss NI's involvement with phone hacking, and never any other news organisation's involvement. Bias is alive and well on the JV Show!
 - How pointless did this discussion become?
 - I've never been to Aldershot. Is it nice?
 - Did you sing some?

21st September: Jeremy discusses the British Economy, John Prescott's plans for regional fire control centres, Palestinians and a protester in Irton, Yorkshire.
 - "are you praying the government sticks to plan A?" ... I'm not praying for anything, thanks.
 - If there were ever two words that would cause me to reach for the Off switch they are "John" and "Prescott". The man is a buffoon.
 - You are confusing me with somebody who gives a toss.
 - So, did the tree get cut down then? Oh, hang on, that would be a follow-up story and you don't do them.

So, what did I miss? Absolutely nothing! Who'd have thought....

So, moving on to today's dose of pointless prattle then...

1) PFI - The rising costs of the private finance initiative are a threat to some English hospitals, according to ministers. Has PFI saved or ruined your hospital? : The important word to me is, of course, "English". Not "Welsh". Next...


2) BUS STABBING - An Australian man who was viciously stabbed for challenging youths who abused a pregnant woman and a pensioner on a bus tells us he would "do it again" : Good for him. Next...

3) FEMALE GENITAL MUTILATION - We discuss female genital mutilation : Delightful... this will do wonders for your listening figures, but it is not what I would choose to listen to at lunchtime. Next...

4) BLUE PETER ANNUAL - As the Blue Peter annual is scrapped because of falling sales, we reflect on the joy of the annual : I've never owned one, although I do have two BP badges.

The Jeremy Vine Show - it doesn't get any better.

Blog suspension

I will not have sufficient time or easy access to the internet for a couple of weeks and so postings to my blog are temporarily suspended. Normal service will resume on or about September 22nd.


UPDATE: Please feel free to leave your comments on JV programmes during the suspension here. And remember, play nicely!

Today's show 02/09/11

I have an important project starting next week and I know that I would struggle to find the time to write my daily email to you in a timely manner. So, for the next two weeks or so, please feel free to discuss any old tosh you wish without fear of criticism from me. You can also be assured that I won't be listening.

Today's issue that affects me: Is porridge best prepared in the microwave or in a saucepan, or doesn't it make any difference?
Note how I offered the third "middle of the road" option that is sadly missing from the questions that you pose.

Only three topics today, apparently, and so irrelevant that ridiculing them is a challenge in itself...

1) 'SQUADDIE SCHOOL' - A free school is being set up in Manchester where all the teachers will be former members of the armed forces. Is a 'squaddie school' the best way to bring discipline back to the classroom? Find out more in this Guardian article : I have no idea, interest or children. Next...

2) ABORTION - When you were considering having an abortion, did you get the right advice?: I have never had to consider having an abortion. Next...

3) TERRY WALTON - And the Jeremy Vine Show allotmenteer Terry Walton joins us live in the studio today to answer fruit and veg questions from listeners…and to do some gardening himself : For a whole hour? Has he got a book out? How does Mr Walton's contribution fit in to your "We only cover the news" statement earlier this week? How is his allotment an issue that affects me? Have you ever heard of a Radio 4 programme called Gardeners' Question time? The only thing I grow in my garden is grass, and I seem to manage that OK thanks.

I despair.

The Jeremy Vine Show - can it get any worse?

Today's show 01/09/11

I wasn't feeling so good yesterday, but I am fighting fit again today and feel the need to get some angst and ire out of my system. You will, of course, be my Number 1 and only target.

Today's issue that affects me: Why does it take so long for the Jeremy Vine Show web page to be updated with each day's stories?

Having just listened to your trail on Ken's show, I know that today's show will only make a dull thud as it hits rock bottom...

1) HIV AND AIDS - A House of Lords committee wants another campaign to tackle "widespread public ignorance" about Aids and HIV. Are you someone who says you're just not worried about it anymore? : Hmmm... an unusual - but acceptable - spelling of "anymore". Usually it appears as two separate words. Anyway, with the lifestyle that I have chosen to have I'm pretty sure that I have not really worried about it ever, and I have no plans to do so in the future despite any scaremongering by you or the government. Next...

2) VANESSA REDGRAVE'S SUPPORT FOR DALE FARM - Vanessa Redgrave talks to us about her support for the largest traveller site in the UK which is about to be shut down : I'll refer you and my blog readers back to yesterday's email and your programme's entry on the Biased BBC web site (http://biased-bbc.blogspot.com/2011/08/gypsies-tramps-and-bbc-producers.html#comments). I'll add nothing more but I would like to know if the travellers all have valid TV Licenses. And it is still over 300 miles away from here. Next...

 

3) G-WIZ CAR SAFETY - A scientist is killed when her electric G-Wiz car is involved in an accident. Should people worry about G-Wiz safety - or is it all down to the driving? Find out more in this Evening Standard article : I've never even seen one of these and was about to do some quick research on them when you said on Ken's show "It didn't help that she was on her phone and didn't have her seat belt on ..." (both confirmed in the Evening Standard article). So, she was not concentrating on her driving, and she was breaking two motoring laws, yet you seem to be missing this point completely. On your Twitter feed you said: Story 3: A woman in a G-Wiz electric car has a crash and the car just "implodes" - if you care about your safety would you ever use one? I would dispute the use of "implodes", but I do care about my safety and so I never use my phone while driving and I always wear a seat belt. This will turn in to nothing more than an unjustified attack on the G-Wiz cars themselves, and I hope that the manufacturer sues you. Next...

4) 911 FIREFIGHTERS - And we talk to a 9/11 firefighter who escaped from the World Trade Centre seconds before it collapsed with his colleagues inside…as well as the psychotherapist who counselled him afterwards : So why isn't he trying to find out why World Trade Centre 7 collapsed? The ONLY steel-framed building to collapse due to fire damage EVER, and I have still yet to see a plausible explanation. I watched a BBC "Conspiracy Files" programme about 9/11 this week, and yet an explanation for this particular 9/11 mystery was sadly lacking. There was not even a mention of the famous news broadcast where a BBC journalist said that WTC7 had collapsed, yet it could still be seen behind her as she said the words (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tGOt9f3gKk). If nothing else, the exposure of this video as a hoax would have been useful. There is a lot more to 9/11 than we have been told, and the BBC are guilty in that respect.

The Jeremy Vine Show - Seriously, what is the point?