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Wednesday, 29 February 2012

Today's show 29/02/12

29th February ... perhaps this will be the day that you FINALLY talk about something that interests or affects me. Let's see...

1) ELDERLY CARE - A landmark report on elderly care says that calling older patients "dear" without permission could be as bad as racism : The second paragraph of the BBC news page you link to tells me all I need to know: The recommendation was one of a series made by the Commission on Improving Dignity in Care for Older People to improve standards in hospitals and care homes in England. England, not Wales. Next...

2) MURDER - We speak to someone who tells us what it was like having to bring up two small daughters on his own after his wife was murdered : This must have been extremely difficult but we know, from l
istening to you on Ken's show, that this particular "someone" is/was a BBC employee, and I have found that he has a book describing his experiences published tomorrow. What a shame you could not get "someone" in from The Real World in which the rest of us live. Next...

3) SLEEPOVERS - A listener gets in touch to say her grandchildren have been traumatised by a sleepover where they watched a horror film : Oh bless. Wrap them up in some cotton wool and give them a bucket of chicken nuggets and some sugary drinks, they'll be fine. If I promise to listen to your programme, could I get in touch to tell you how traumatised I have been by your programme? By the way, in case you hadn't noticed, this isn't news. Next...
4) WAITER DISASTER - And have you ever suffered a waiter disaster? Five glasses of beer are accidentally spilt down the back of the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel : No, I have not. You said on Ken's show, "You must look at this video, it is so funny". I've seen it and did not find it funny at all. I do find it somewhat pathetic that you consider this to be a suitable topic for your programme though. Want to see some absolutely hilarious videos? Try these: - what were you thinking? - a JV Show classic, what was she on? - proving yet again that you will not tolerate any dissenting point of view
Looks like I will be disappointed again and I will have to satisfy my craving for quality radio programming over at 6 Music - again.
The Jeremy Vine Show - the radio equivalent of watching paint dry

Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Today's show 28/02/12

Another quick on today, due to pressure of more important things to do, but we haven't had one of these for a while...

Today's issue that affects me: Our toaster has just broken. Grrrr....

There is an interesting conversation taking place on your Twitter feed this morning concerning a chap who said "I am not intelligent enough to be constantly stimulated by Radio 4. I am a bit too young for Radio 2 after Chris Evans finishes at 9.30am" and was looking for a radio station to listen to. Your response to him was "No @JxxxBxxxxx, actually I think you are the perfect profile for my show. Don't be lured by @NickyAACampbell", which is an interesting response as from what I have heard of Queen Nicky on R5 his programme is worse than yours! However, the tweet that really caught my eye was this one from (presumably) one of your listeners: "@JxxxBxxxxx no no no. I am not clever and love @theJeremyVine.". I need say no more.

So what has my favourite public service broadcaster's most popular radio channel got to offer me this lunchtime? We must remember, though, that like many other public services the BBC wastes money, runs the service to suit itself, and expects users of the service to be grateful for what it does...

1) CORRUPTION - A leading copper at the Met says there was a culture of corruption between police officers and Sun journalists in pursuit of salacious gossipy stories that had no public interest. 3.26 million people bought the Sun on Sunday and don’t seem to mind : 3.26 million? In that case I proudly count myself among the 58,958,761 UK residents who did not buy a copy of the Sun on Sunday last weekend. But you are correct, of course, in that the SoS readership don't mind because this whole performance is only of interest to the few of us who have an interest in the "news" and how it is distributed. This obviously includes anybody in the news media too, and the opportunity for the BBC to have yet another pop at Murdoch is again proving too much to resist, while the equally suspicious Mirror Group escape the BBC's wrath yet again. Double standards? Yes, of course it is, and exactly what I and many others now expect the BBC to provide. The BBC news page you link to says "Payments by journalists to public officials were identified in the "police, military, health and government", she said.". Odd, don't you think, that journalists are being pilloried for giving money to public officials, yet those same public officials are not - to the best of my knowledge - being identified or punished in any way. Will you be covering that aspect of these developments? I thought not. Next...

2) OCCUPY PROTESTER - The Occupy Protesters have been evicted from outside St Paul’s Cathedral in London. Is this a good news story, or a bad news story? : You are missing the middle option. They should be Good News, Not News and Bad News. I'll go with the middle one. The Occupy movement started off with apparently good intentions but quickly seemed to lose its direction. Their message that they were against "corporate greed" got through, but I struggled to find out what alternatives they were suggesting and how those might be achieved. Even their own web site was not clear on the matter and a number of their demands were not even demands at all! In my mind, all that the Occupy movement achieved was to prove that so-called leaderless campaigns do have leaders with their own agendas, and they win through in the end. Occupy should have targetted the bankers and the bond traders. They should have targetted the politicians who expect us to work harder and longer to pay for their broken promises. They should have targetted those whose hands we are not allowed to remove from our own pockets and who use the law to steal our money and place future generations in debt. But they didn't, and an opportunity was missed. The eviction is of no importance to me at all, and I am not likely to ask or be asked "What were you doing when the Occupy protestors were evicted?". I hope your BBC-supplied black armband fits comfortably. Next...

3) SLEEPING PILLS - Research from America suggests that people taking sleeping pills are 4 times more likely to die prematurely and they may be as dangerous as cigarettes. Are you hooked on sleeping pills? : No. Next...

4) ROOF RACKS - Finally, did you see the story of a tiny Nissan Micra with 2 sofas on the roof? What’s the most you’ve put or seen on a car roof rack? Find out more in the Western Morning News : I didn't see the story, and I don't own a roof rack.

The Jeremy Vine Show - we don't need or want clever listeners

Monday, 27 February 2012

Today's show 27/02/12

Monday morning again, and let's start in the usual way with a story that you probably won't be covering today, or any other day...

Now there's a bonus for deadbeats
... The report, by veteran commercial radio executive John Myers, is yet to be published but I’m told it reveals an extraordinary arrangement with regard to BBC staff wages. Apparently, any employee at one of the 40 local radio stations (which employ a total of 3,000 people) who has gone five years without promotion will receive a cheque for £4,600 — which is described as ‘disappointment’ money. So let’s get this right. You are hopeless at your job and are given no incentive by your bosses to improve because you will still automatically pick up a nice bonus cheque.

I've been disappointed by the BBC for years, so where is my cheque?

I think today's items can be dealt with quickly today as not one of them is relevant to me...

1) SYRIA - The wife of a British photographer trapped in Syria says everything should be done to get him out, but what if that risks other lives? : Are you expecting me to have any sympathy for a journalist? Dream on. He knew the risks. But what are you going to do about his situation? Oh yes, absolutely nothing. But you are going to talk about it, which is nice. Meanwhile, innocent civilians are being killed in Syria, yet they are not as newsworthy as a journalist who went there of his own free will - apparently. Next...

2) SCHMALLENBERG VIRUS - The lambing season is already underway in some places, but farms have been hit by the Schmallenberg virus, carried by midges from Germany : As I type this, I can look out of my window and see sheep in the field across the road from my home. The virus sounds horrible, and I can sympathise with the farmers involved. However, I am not a sheep farmer and I have learnt all I need to know from the DEFRA web site ( Next...

3) SOCIALIST WORKERS PARTY - Has the government’s workfare scheme effectively been taken apart by the Socialist Workers Party? Some say it’s a rotten policy and that’s fair enough, but others say they’ve had too much influence : There is, as you well know, another organisation that has had too much influence on the "workfare" scheme. That organisation is your beloved BBC which seems to be hell-bent on rubbishing workfare at every possible opportunity. This has grown to the extent that an MP is now making a formal complaint ( about biased BBC workfare reporting. I can only hope that her complaint goes further than the mythical Audience Log where most of mine end up. I remain self-employed and would not qualify to join the workfare scheme. Next...

4) CHIMNEY FIRES - After a spate of chimney fires in Devon — 39 in a week! — we find out why they start and how to prevent them : One of the things that is needed for a chimney fire is a chimney. Can you guess how many we have? Let me give you a clue: It is a round number less than one.

The Jeremy Vine Show - believe us when we say "journalists are special"


Just noticed on your Twitter feed that the first story has changed and the photographer trapped in Syria is no longer news. I bet his wife will be delighted! Anyway, we now have this drivel instead:

EYESORES - A bungalow with a beautiful view has been put up for sale on the island of Anglesey. The only trouble is – the estate agent’s photo doesn’t show a horrible huge TV mast behind it. However, maybe your lovely house is next to an eyesore but you just don’t care. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : It isn't, and if there had been an eyesore here I am sure that I would have seen it before purchasing. Meanwhile, I am sure the estate agent will be grateful for the free publicity. And it is LLANDONNA, and not LLANDONA as you put on Twitter.

Friday, 24 February 2012

Today's show 24/02/12

Can you remember exactly what you were doing exactly 35 years ago today? I can.

Another quick one today...

1) BAR-ROOM BRAWL - Have you ever been involved in a bar-room brawl? What is the best way to pull the two sides apart? : No, never, and I have no idea. Interesting that you said you could not talk about the Eric Joyce skirmish, when others obviously feel that they can. Guido Fawkes published yesterday ( an internal BBC document giving a blow-by-blow (!) account of what happened. I am sure that the mandarins at Labour HQ are very pleased about the down-playing the BBC alone are giving to this event. And we can only imagine the different level of coverage that the BBC would have given this had it been a Tory MP involved. MPs, irrespective of their party, should be treated equally but that is something the BBC often seems to forget. Next...

2) NESTLE - The CEO of the Swiss food giant ‘Nestle’ has been criticized for using child labour. He says what’s wrong with using children as labour as long as we’re not treating them like slaves : Interesting that you have not provided a link for this story (or any others today), as the only ones I can find all date from November 2011 (for example: Is this just you being last with the news again today? A good friend of mine is another self-employed sole-trader but his 12-year-old son often helps him in his work and earns some extra pocket money in this way. Unfortunately he won't be listening to or contributing to your programme today as he is as big a fan of your show as I am. Next...

3) TERRY WALTON - Many of us enjoyed warm spring like weather yesterday. Terry says it’s time to get out on the allotment and start preparing the plot : You said to Zoe, "We discuss how to stop carrots splitting and growing raspberries". I am no gardener, but my lovely wife is, and I know from her that carrotts need stone-free soil to stop them growing in to odd shapes. Raspberries are my favourite soft fruit and so we grow these with considerable success. In fact, we had so many last year I was almost getting to the stage of having eaten too many. Almost. Anyway, I'm not sure I can learn anything from this, other than - perhaps - how to create some of the amazing sound effects for which you are making Terry rightly famous. Next...

4) MIDWIFE - Like the BBC 1 series, we ask; did you call the midwife in the 1950’s? : Any woman who had a baby in, say, 1955 and was, say, 20 years old at the time would now be well in to her 70s. Is this your target audience now? I was born in the late 1950s. Oh, and I'm a bloke.

The Jeremy Vine Show - Thank goodness it is the weekend.

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Today's show 23/02/12

I'm busy today, so just a quick one...

1) WAR CORRESPONDENTS - Following the death of Marie Colvin in Syria, we praise the war correspondent. How important is it that they are there in person following the story? : While her death is tragic, I had never heard of Marie Colvin until yesterday. I suppose somebody has to do the job, but as I rarely read or see the news they do not need to risk their lives on my account. You said to Zoe, "We still need somebody we can trust ... we need the brands ... we need the BBC". Trust? BBC? I think not. Next...

2) ABORTIONS - Parents are having their children aborted because they’re the wrong gender: Are they? Oh. This story is also covered in the Daily Telegraph (
) which says: "The Daily Telegraph carried out an investigation into sex-selection abortions after concerns were raised that the procedures were becoming increasingly common for cultural and social reasons" but the BBC news page you link to makes no mention of any "cultural" reasons. I'm pretty sure I can guess what those cultural reasons may be, but are you going to follow standard BBC policy and conveniently ignore them? I'm sure that I will never find myself in a situation where I am discussing an abortion, so I think I can give this a miss today. Next...

3) LOCKS - How many locks do you have on your front door? : Sufficient. Next...

4) FRANK CARSON - Frank Carson was one of the greats. Was it all about how he told them? : Probably. He was good on Tiswas and will be missed by many.
The Jeremy Vine Show - still trusting the BBC, for some reason

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Today's show 22/02/12

This BBC document was brought to my attention yesterday: I was particularly interested in the last paragraph, which says:
Where appropriate to the output, we (the BBC) should:
 - gather material using first hand sources wherever possible
 - check and cross check facts
 - validate the authenticity of documentary evidence and digital material
 - corroborate claims and allegations made by contributors wherever possible.

I wonder, how do these "shoulds" relate to your programme? Let's do a quick re-write just for the Jeremy Vine Show, shall we?
 - Gather material using first hand sources wherever possible, or just plunder it from the Daily Mail, or The Guardian
 - Check and cross check facts, or just make up facts as we go along and try to convince our listeners that this is the truth (plutonium in the Fukushima reactor, for example)
 - Validate the authenticity of documentary evidence and digital material, or just accept it at face value because it appeared in the Dead Tree Press or on YouTube
 - Corroborate claims and allegations made by contributors wherever possible, or just have a one-sided discussion so any claims and allegations cannot be challenged or defended

I have no doubt that these exacting standards will be applied to today's show, so what have we got?

1) MISSING PEOPLE - Even if your husband/wife has been missing for 7 years they can’t legally be declared as dead. MPs want the law changed : This sounds reasonable, but have you found a "someone" to say that it should not happen? Fortunately, this has never happened to me. Next...

2) RACIAL DISCRIMINATION - A white man who worked in a Chinese restaurant, and was sacked, has won a case for racial discrimination. Find out more from the Birmingham Post : Good for him. I just hope he gets his money. You said on Zoe's show, "You don't want a madras brought to your table by somebody called Martin". I am sure your listeners will be fascinated to hear your explanation of this statement, but I am not. Next...

3) DRINK DRIVING - A mother in court for drink driving was spared jail after her daughter wrote to the judge saying she was a great mum. Find out more from the Manchester Evening News : Words fail me. Next...

4) WEDDING DOOMED TO FAIL - And finally, if your best friend is about to get married, but you think the marriage will fail, what do you do? : Is this news? I would do absolutely nothing. I wouldn't make a very good listener, would I?

The Jeremy Vine Show - following BBC guidelines, occasionally

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Today's show 21/02/12

Ooohhh.... you've given me plenty to pull to pieces today, so thanks for that...

1) CONFRONTING ANDREW LANSLEY - An angry woman, June Hautot, confronts the health secretary Andrew Lansley over the government’s NHS bill. Who did you have sympathy with? We talk to Gillian Duffy, who famously confronted Gordon Brown : You said on Zoe's show "She (Hautot) had been in a union, I think". You think? Didn't you bother to check your own BBC news pages? If you'd have looked at
 you would see "One woman, June Hautot, a former Unison rep, barred his way...". Unlike yourself, I have done my research and it was Guido Fawkes who provided the answers that I was looking for, and you couldn't be bothered to find. Take a look at and you will find:
June Hautot, a former Unison rep, told the Workers Revolutionary Party magazine last month: "I’m all for occupations. That’s our only ammunition to stop closures".
She also once attempted to sue Wandsworth Council over plans to develop Battersea Power Station, but her looney-left activism doesn’t stop there. According to the Glasgow Herald in 1997 she “shared a cell with Mrs Scargill”after she was arrested with Arthur’s wife protesting open cast mines. It was inevitable this seasoned activist was going to have her moment.
In my mind, this makes her confrontation with Lansley nothing more than a publicity stunt, so my sympathies certainly do not lie with her. And it comes as no surprise to see Gillian Duffy back on your programme. After all, there is nothing quite like reliving past Jeremy Vine Show glories, is there? It is just such a shame that you won't let people confront you in the same way as Hautot confronted Lansley. Next...

2) DROUGHT - A drought has been declared in much of England. Should England be made to pay for the water it gets from Wales? : You mentioned the Tryweryn Reservoir and the flooding of Capel Celyn on Zoe's show, and "the church is under water". No, it isn't. All of the buildings were demolished before the valley was flooded. The contents of the church graveyard was removed and reinterred on the shore, and a new building provided as a memorial. Tryweryn is not the only man-made reservoir here in Wales built by the English using parliamentary powers to provide England with water, and with little say for the Welsh residents affected. Thirty five out of thirty six Welsh MPs opposed the bill to construct Tryweryn, yet still it was passed. As a result the creation of this reservoir played a big part in the desire for Welsh self-governance. Moving away from our water, I find it very interesting to see the BBC spinning the drought scare for the south east, and I was expecting you to wheel out the "climate change" argument, but it seems as though you have resisted that temptation. In the news bulletins I have heard so far, the BBC has consistently failed to point out we get plenty of rain in the UK and the south east, but we just don't catch enough of it. Can you remember when the last new reservoir was built anywhere near that there London? I can't, yet the south east has had a massive rise in population and industry over the last 15 years. The south east doesn't need more rain - it needs more storage!
And here in Wales we have sufficient water for our needs, thanks. Next...

3) MALE RAPE VICTIMS - We discuss the campaign to encourage men to be more open about male rape. Find out more from Survivors UK : Thankfully Jeremy, this has never happened to me. Next...

4) SPIDERS - Finally, a man collapses after being bitten ten times by a rare spider in Toys R Us. Find out more in this article from the Mirror : The Mirror? What's wrong with the good old ever-reliable Daily Mail, he asked sarcastically? They have covered it and give a little bit more information (
), in particular: "Mr Galton, from Southampton, Hampshire, had been aware of several stings during the day and had assumed they had come from a bee.". Several stings? And he had not bothered to look what was causing them? Am I supposed to have some sympathy with this idiot? The toy shop connection is also completely bogus, and I fail to see its relevance. Well done!

The Jeremy Vine Show - long overdue for a confrontation

Monday, 20 February 2012

Today's show 20/02/12

Monday morning again, and somebody has very kindly updated your web page nice and early - thank you!

I see from today's menu though that you will not be discussing a couple of news stories that are of interest to me. For completeness these are:
BBC pays £1.8million legal bill to help keep stars' pay confidential
The BBC’s governing body has paid £1.8 million to a top international law firm for work including advice on keeping the wages of some of its most high-profile stars confidential. Figures obtained by The Mail on Sunday show that the BBC Trust – the body that has overall control  of the public broadcaster – paid an average of almost £20,000 a week  to the London office of Baker & McKenzie during the past two years.

Do you consider that this gives us - the TV Licence Tax payers - value for money? I don't.
How Moira Stuart makes sure tax doesn't have to be taxing
Moira Stuart, the BBC newsreader who has become the public face of HM Revenue & Customs, has set up a company that allows her to avoid the full impact of the 50p top tax rate.

How about discussing the pros and cons of this arrangement one day then Jeremy? I'd listen!

Instead, we have this lot...
1) LONG DISTANCE COACH TRIPS - Following the crash in northern France of the coach returning children from a ski trip, we talk to someone that says it’s time to stop the transportation of children on long distance coach trips at night : "Someone" ... bless. Where do you find them? You said to Zoe, "It is not very easy to sleep on the front seat of a coach". A lot of coaches used on these trips have a separate sleeping compartment for the driver away from the main passenger cabin but I have no idea if this was the case on the coach that crashed in France. Do you? A similar incident occurred on a trip abroad when I was at school in the 1970s, but fortunately without loss of life. It is true to say that it had an affect on everybody at the school as we all knew somebody who had been injured. They all went on to make a full recovery but, presumably, some still bear the mental and physical scars of that incident to this day. However, I wasn't on the trip, I hate travelling by coach and we have no children who would go on such a trip. Next...

2) POLIO - India says it’s eradicated polio. We did the same a generation ago, but are you someone who can remember the terrible disease? Maybe you even suffered from it yourself?: Fortunately no, and no. I had a vaccination when I was only a few years old and I still have my polio vaccination card here somewhere. Next...

3) BOXING BRAWL - The brawl between the two heavyweight boxers has been said to shame the sport of boxing. But hang on a minute, wasn’t your reaction : ‘I thought boxing was about being violent?’ : I've never been a fan of boxing, and frankly could not care less what these individuals get up to. Wrestling, now there's a sport! Next...

4) HUGGING - John Prescott regrets that he’s unable to hug his sons. Are you somebody who wished your dad had hugged you? : He did. Thankfully he was not John Prescott. Ewwww....
The Jeremy Vine Show - come on, it's Monday, what did you expect?

Friday, 17 February 2012

Today's show 17/02/12

Friday again... and I've been flitting between work and my computer since you spoke to Ken while waiting for you to update the web page. You didn't even send out your Twitter teaser this morning - what did we do to deserve that? 12:05 now, and still nothing, but the Radio 2 Facebook page has just added a promotion for your programme.

12:10 and the radio is now firmly on 6 Music. I tried to stick it out for a while until your phone guest said "A large part of me thinks...". I don't need to know what any part of him thinks.

12:20, at last we have today's irrelevancies...

1) WORKFARE SCHEME - Tesco blames a computer error for an advert for a permanent job which said the wages would only be Jobseekers' Allowance plus expenses. Campaigners say the government's workfare scheme is forcing people to do unpaid labour or lose benefits: As a self-employed sole trader, I hope you understand that I have no need to partake in this scheme. Next...

2) EX-PARTNERS - Are you someone who can't stand the sight of your ex? : No. Next...

3) ENERGY PRICES - After 1, as energy prices soar, is it time to club together with your neighbours and buy gas and electricity in bulk to cut the price? : We take the advice of Martin Lewis when choosing our fuel suppliers and feel that we have the best deal we can get, bearing in mind the rural area in which we live. I wonder if it is possible to bulk buy TV Licences and get a discount...? Next...

4) DOO-WOP - We have a doo-wop band, the Testostatones, live in the studio : My musical tastes run through prog rock, punk, 1990s dance music and a whole lot more but excludes this particular genre. You said on Ken's show that doo-wop "really is interesting" but again I would disagree.

The Jeremy Vine Show - Views and live guests, but no news today

Thursday, 16 February 2012

Today's show 16/02/12

A quick one today...

Well, it was going to be a quick one but at 11:50 I'm still waiting for "somebody" to update your web page. What is it about Thursdays? I'll come back in a bit.

12:00, and here we go...

1) HONDURAS PRISON FIRE - A fire sweeps through a prison in Honduras, killing more than 350 inmates : A tragedy. You asked on Ken's show what arrangements are made should a prison catch fire in the UK. Knowing the comprehensive Health & Safety and Fire Safety regimes that we have in this country, I feel sure that some arrangements have been made, and this is confirmed by
. It is called "research" Jeremy, you should try it some time. And no, I don't mean sitting in a cafe reading the papers. Next...

2) DANGEROUS PARKS - A thirteen year old is stabbed to death in a park in Doncaster that locals say has a reputation for antisocial behaviour. Is there a park near you that you always avoid? : Another tragedy. No, there is not. Next...

3) MIRIAM O'REILLY - We speak to ex-Countryfile presenter, Miriam O'Reilly, who is leaving the BBC to fight for women's equality one year after winning an age discrimination case against the corporation : Your web page has a link to the BBC News page about the Honduras prison fire, so I had to go looking for this one elsewhere, and I found this:
RICHARD KAY: Miriam's axeman quits the BBC...
Dropped from the Countryfile show three years ago because she was said to be too old, BBC TV presenter Miriam O’Reilly could be forgiven for feeling a sense of satisfaction today. The man responsible for axeing her is quitting the Corporation after 35 years. For 12 months after Miriam won her landmark discrimination case at an employment tribunal — and just five days after BBC director-general Mark Thompson, errrr, ummmm, admitted, errrr, there are not, ummmm, not enough older women, errrr, on screen — TV executive Andrew Thorman learns his own job is being abolished.
I continue to be a man, and while I have some support for O'Reilly's campaign, it comes as no surprise to me that you will not be focussing on the real story - Kay's departure - because it would involve criticising your beloved Biased Broadcasting Conglomerate. ‘The decision to abolish my role is plain wrong at a time when more than seven million people are regularly watching Countryfile. It’s a retrograde step,’ he (Kay) says. On that basis alone he should have been sacked years ago. Next...

4) MORBIDLY OBESE - Plymouth City Council is challenging the level of care it gives to a morbidly obese woman, saying her worst enemy is her own “dependency” on the state. Find out more from the Plymouh Herald : Your programme is turning in to Jeremy Kyle On The Radio. On Ken's show you described this as "a very, very interesting story". Once again Jeremy, I beg to differ. Trying valiantly to sound interested, Ken said "You can see both sides" and was grateful the decisions in this case would be taken by others and "We can just talk about it". Which is, of course, all your programme ever does.

The Jeremy Vine Show - Continuing to just talk about it

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

Today's show 15/02/12

Years ago, when I lived in England, I remember the furore that erupted when our county council made a load of staff redundant with huge severance payments on a Friday, and then re-employed them the following Monday. You have probably heard of similar cases, so how about discussing this on your programme one day? I'd listen to that! And here are some recent examples of similar behaviour by a public-funded body that you could use to highlight this practice:
BBC's redundancy payouts criticised as staff get old jobs back
The BBC has been criticised after spending £4million making staff redundant - only for nearly half of them to continue working as normal.
The money was paid to around 70 workers as compensation when the corporation revealed plans to relocate their posts north to Salford in the Midlands. But after accepting the redundancy money - reported to be £57,000 each, on average - it is understood that some 17 workers simply carried on in the same jobs
Half of BBC staff who pocketed £4m pay-off carried on working in the same job
The BBC spent £4million laying off staff – only for nearly half of them to continue working as normal. The money was paid to around 70 workers as compensation because their posts were being relocated north to Salford. But after accepting the ‘redundancy’ money – £57,000 each, on average – about 17 of them simply carried on in the same jobs, it is understood.

So, I'll look forward to that. Any idea when you might talk about it?

Alternatively, you could have talked about this one:
Supreme Court upholds BBC's refusal on Israel report
The UK Supreme Court has rejected an appeal against the BBC's refusal to publish a report into its coverage of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. ... He had asked for the 2004 Balen Report to be disclosed under the Freedom of Information Act. However, the BBC argued that it was exempt from the Act with regard to information it held for the purposes of "journalism, art or literature". Mr Sugar, who died of cancer last year aged 61, had wanted to know whether the report supported his claim that the corporation was biased against Israel.
Ah, those pesky words crop up again: for the purposes of journalism, art or literature. I've come up against that particular barricade myself in connection with my FOI requests about your programme. Just remind me again, who is the publicly-funded BBC accountable to? And why does it keep sooooo much stuff secret?

You said on Ken's show earlier, "I was in the cafe this morning looking at the papers" and went on to claim that this was research. This, Jeremy, explains a lot. I am left to wonder which particular rag is at the top of the pile, although I feel sure it will be either the Daily Mail or The Guardian, and with the Daily Express at the bottom of the pile and never looked at.

And it was good to hear Ken question the validity of TV Licences. Now there is a topic worthy of discussion one day, as I have suggested many, many times before. But not today, of course, and instead we have this stuff which you think might possibly be of interest to me. Oh, how wrong you are...

1) ALCOHOL ABUSE - David Cameron wants more to be done to cut alcohol abuse in England. If you're a parent, how did you attempt to stop your teenager binge-drinking? : I don't drink alcohol. I don't live in England. I am not a parent. I do not have a teenager. How less relevant is it possible to be? Next...

2) BRITAIN'S MOST HONEST MAN? - The most honest man in Britain? A street cleaner finds a £21,000 Rolex watch and hands it in to the police : Slow news day, is it? Not mentioned by you on Ken's show, or on the BBC news web page, was the snippet of information that was included on R2's 08:00 news this morning, and that was that the finder gets to keep the watch if it is not claimed in a set number of days, so it will either go back to its owner or back to the finder. I shall remain puzzled why you think this news. Next...

3) SUDDEN SIGHT LOSS - We discuss sudden sight loss and meet a man who went blind overnight : Sounds terrible, in all sorts of ways. Next...

4) RANGERS - What's the future for Rangers as the iconic Scottish club enters administration? : I cannot find words to express how little I care about this.
Nothing for me again today then ... perhaps I need to artificially create some issues that affect me so that you can talk about them. Or perhaps not.
The Jeremy Vine Show - no, football IS news, no really, it is!

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

Today's show 14/02/12

You gave a nice bit of advance warning of today's topics for those of us that watch your Twitter feed. It was at 08:55 that this appeared: Today's stories @BBCRadio2 in four words: Dizaei. Cancer. Moody's. Driving.

These early morning tweets are very helpful to me as they give me a lot of time to mull over what I am going to write to you each day. I am certain that this task would be more difficult without your tweets, although you may feel it a shame that there is no way to stop me from seeing them.

I don't really need any reason to switch to 6 Music at 12, but you are kind enough to provide me with no less than four such reasons again today...
1) MOODY'S - The UK is warned that its credit rating may be cut. But who exactly are Moody's - the agency that has issued the threat? : I have no idea, but a quick Google search found a Wikipedia page ('s_Investors_Service) that tells me more than I need to know. I listened to you talk to Ken earlier and it was clear that you were going to expand this topic to cover a whole host of other issues. Like Ken, I have no view on these. My prediction is that you will have somebody there who will tell your listeners what a terrible job George Osbourne is doing with the economy, and another person there who will tell your listeners what a terrible job George Osbourne is doing with the economy. This would allow a fair and balanced debate, the kind of debate for which the Jeremy Vine Show is renowned. Are you going to have a financial expert in the studio? I thought not. And Ed Balls (who is doing the rounds of the news media today) doesn't count. Next...

CANCER TREATMENT - Would you refuse treatment for advanced cancer? : Frankly, that is none of your business. I have never had cancer, and there is no history of it in my family. I hope it stays that way. Next...

3) OLDER DRIVERS - How do you tell mum or dad that it's time to stop driving? : I didn't have to. You discussed this exact same topic just over a year ago, on 1st February 2011 (Elderly Drivers - Have you told your parents to stop driving?). I'll give the same answer as I did then: They both stopped driving over 10 years ago of their own volition. Next...

4) ALI DIZAEI - Metropolitan Police commander Ali Dizaei has been jailed for three years for corruption. Should police officers get lighter prison sentences because they are especially at risk behind bars? : What is it that saying that the law enforcement agencies use? Oh yes... If you can't do the time, don't do the crime. You described this on Ken's show as "a very interesting argument". No Jeremy, it is not.
Again, no discussion on the arrests of journalist scum from The Sun, which is surprising as it would allow another dose of Murdoch-bashing. I bet it would be different if journalist scum from The Guardian were involved...!
The Jeremy Vine Show - not as accurate as Wikipedia

Monday, 13 February 2012

Today's show 13/02/12

Monday morning, and let's deal the important business first. While having lunch with my parents yesterday my Mum said about my blog, "You are very naughty, leave the poor man alone". I have given her suggestion due consideration and will act accordingly. Business as normal then...

It was a busy day on my blog on Friday with over 250 visitors. My usage statistics tell me that a lot of these arrived at my site following some comments I made on a BBC news page containing guidance for journalists when using Twitter. My comments were posted without modification and included a link to my blog. How nice of the BBC to promote it ... thank you!

Let's continue with a quick look at the news stories you won't be covering today. You have a choice of source for the first one...
BBC 'buried Savile sex abuse claims to save its reputation’
The BBC shelved a Newsnight investigation into allegations that Sir Jimmy Savile sexually abused a teenage girl in his dressing room at Television Centre, it has emerged.
BBC shelved Jimmy Savile sex abuse investigation 'to protect its own reputation'
The BBC shelved a Newsnight investigation into allegations that Sir Jimmy Savile sexually abused teenage girls at its studios, it has been revealed.

There is not a lot that can be done now about any alleged misdemeanours that Mr Savile may have committed, but the BBC's behaviour is incredible. This is nothing more than a cover-up of a story in which the BBC has already invested TV Licence Poll Tax payers' money, and all for nothing. As for their reputation, this cover-up does not damage the BBC's reputation - it enhances it! It reinforces the view held by many that the BBC only tells its viewers and listeners what it wants to broadcast: a filtered, manipulated, sanitised and biased version of what is actually "news". And, of course, your programme is no different.

Talking of filtered, manipulated, sanitised and biased news, here is a story from the Daily Mail...
BBC's Weather Test washout: Bid to check accuracy of forecasts vanishes in storm of wrangling that no one predicted
A row between weathermen threatens to wreck a BBC-funded project to test the accuracy of Britain’s weather forecasts. The study, estimated to have cost tens of thousands of pounds of licence fee payers’ money, has been devised by the BBC’s senior environment analyst, Roger Harrabin. But seven of the eight forecasters and bodies asked to take part have not agreed, with two blaming Mr Harrabin for undermining the study’s credibility, claiming that his reputation is tarnished by his close links to green groups who believe in man-made climate change.

While I take anything that Harrabin tells me with a lorry load of scepticism, these checks are actually a good idea. However, they must be run by a trustworthy and impartial body, and the BBC is neither of those.

And finally...
BBC spends £19,000 treating stressed out staff at The Priory
The BBC would not reveal whether executives were referred to the centre for mental health issues or for drug addiction, but confirmed it had spent £18,949 on treatments in 2010 and 2011 because there was a “compelling” business reason to do so. However, it is understood that the corporation agreed to spend licence fee payers’ money on the care centre because its staff were “severely stressed” because of a series of initiatives which had not gone according to plan, and the pressures of cost cutting. Matthew Elliott, chief executive of the TaxPayers' Alliance, said: ... “Most BBC viewers can't afford to convalesce at this kind of retreat. The NHS is good enough for licence-fee payers, so it should be good enough for BBC staff too."

Bless. I used to have a stressful job, but I was never offered treatment of this kind. Perhaps that was because my employers at that time did not have the advantage of the "unique way in which the BBC is funded".

Your Twitter feed has just told me that you will not be covering the arrests of various hacks from The Sun today (tomorrow maybe?) and instead we will have to endure this load of tosh instead...

1) GREECE - Violence flares in Greece as its parliament passes an unpopular austerity bill as part of the bailout deal. What is life like for ordinary Greeks as economic hardship bites?: I cannot imagine. I was fully aware that it was kicking off in Athens last night, but what a shame that BBC TV News could not be bothered to tell me anything about it. The early evening broadcast spent over 6 minutes (out of 15) telling me that some drug raddled former celebrity had achieved her ultimate ambition, and yet devoted less than 90 seconds to a major uprising in a European capital that could well have an affect on every country in the EU. It was clear which story was most important to the programme editor, but this only continues to show the deep corruption of "public service" broadcasting of real news which is just another facet of the BBC's devaluing of its audience as so-called celebrities steal the headlines. Later coverage again seemed to spend more time covering the BAFTAs than anything happening in Greece. The BBC is in receipt of millions of pounds from the EU, so perhaps the images of Athens ablaze are seen as unhelpful while the possible death of democracy is taking place. From what I saw, the BBC were unable to find anyone who could point out that unelected technocrats imposing Germanic austerity against the will of the Greek people is not really "democracy" in the first place. Your chat with Ken earlier failed to convince me that your programme will be any different to what I saw, or didn't see, last night. Next...

2) FROZEN RIVER - A man who stripped down to his underwear and crawled across a frozen river to rescue his trapped dog has been condemned by firefighters : There is no ice here, we don't have a dog, and I have more sense in my little finger. Next...

3) WHITNEY HOUSTON - We reflect on the death of one of the most celebrated female singers of all time, Whitney Houston : I always knew that astronaut Jim Lovell's famous line would always have another meaning one day. Whitney's records used to shoot-up the charts with such speed. When I heard the news I couldn’t help but crack up with emotion and it was nothing like ecstacy. She was a real heroin. It’s such a blow. She really made a hash of things though and her life just went to pot. Someone should have kept tabs on her. Can you tell I care as much about her now as I did on Friday? Next...

4) SPITTING - Enfield in north London wants to be the first area in the country to ban spitting in public : I don't spit, and I am not aware of Gwynedd council taking the same measures. However, if I do start spitting, and if I ever go to Enfield, I shall consider myself educated by your programme. Cheers!

The Jeremy Vine Show - enough to make anybody spit

Complaint response 25/01/12

Prior to writing my appeal to the BBC Trust I had asked the BBC Complaints Department to clarify how they had calculated that I had sent "dozens" of complaints by sending them some questions to which a Yes or No response would have sufficed. This was the reply I received this morning:

Reference CAS-1267085-11KXXX

Thanks for your further comments. 
We've nothing further to add and if you remain unhappy with our decision you should write to the BBC Trust, within 20 working days, as previously advised. The address to write to is:
BBC Trust Unit
180 Great Portland Street

Thanks again for contacting us.

Kind Regards
Lxxxxx Bxxxxxx
BBC Complaints

Not exactly helpful!

Friday, 10 February 2012

Today's show 10/02/12

A quick one today...

I had to laugh today as I received an emailed receipt acknowledgement for my appeal letter to the BBC Trust. An email. They insist that all of my communications with them are on printed and posted paper. How quaint. One rule for the BBC, and one for everybody else.

1) EMPLOYING DOMESTIC HELP - Prime Minister David Cameron is interested in an idea which will give you a tax break for employing domestic help : I feel sure that he will give it due consideration, but nothing is changing yet. Nothing changing? No wonder you are discussing it. We have no plans to hire any domestic help. Next...

2) SHYNESS - A psychiatrist manual says that shyness is a mental illness. You may be paralysed by shyness but we talk to someone who says that shy people are just being selfish. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : Oh good, another "someone". Do you think I'm shy. Do you? Next...

3) QUANTITATIVE EASING - Printing free money or quantitative easing… What is it? How does it work? And is it good for us? : There is £100 and 100 loaves of bread costing £1 each. QE creates another £100. Each loaf now costs £2. There, you can play more music now. Next...

4) ABU QATADA - Finally, we meet the man who spent many an evening with the extremist preacher Abu Qatada. He says he found him friendly, funny and he even told racy jokes : Hang on, you used the "E" word. Did you not get the Andrew Roy's memo? (
). Is "the man" the only one to have ever done this? Is he the same as a "someone"? Perhaps they swapped ideas about what to get from their book club.

I told you it would be quick.

The Jeremy Vine Show - radio's version of quantitative easing

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Today's show 09/02/12

Absolutely no surprise as to what you have chosen for the first story today, but let's look at the news that the BBC will not be sharing with us today first, shall we?
Did the BBC Fix It For Jim? - Awkward Questions for Director General Mark Thompson
Guido got wind of this yesterday, but this week’s Oldie magazine is out, and has more details about a possible BBC cover up after Newsnight unearthed allegations of child abuse by Jimmy Savile on BBC property.

As Guido says, this is dark stuff. We can only hope that it is not true.

And then there is this one, concerning the BBC's reporting of hot-topic Mr Qatada:
BBC tells its staff: don’t call Qatada extremist
The BBC has told its journalists not to call Abu Qatada, the al-Qaeda preacher, an “extremist”. In order to avoid making a “value judgment”, the corporation’s managers have ruled that he can only be described as “radical”. Journalists were also cautioned against using images suggesting the preacher is overweight. The guidance was issued at the BBC newsroom’s 9.00am editorial meeting yesterday, chaired by a senior manager, Andrew Roy. According to notes of the meeting, seen by The Daily Telegraph, journalists were told: “Do not call him an extremist – we must call him a radical. Extremist implies a value judgment.”

This directive was issued the day after Sky told its journalists that news stories must pass through the news desk before appearing on Twitter (
), and which you took such delight in riduculing Rupert Murdoch himself about:

Odd, don't you think, that your own programme (among many others) can describe Murdoch's takeover of BSkyB last year as "controversial", which is nothing other than a value judgement? So what do you have to do to be classified as an "extremist" in the BBC's eyes? Oh yes, I know. You have to be a staunch EU-sceptic and express doubts about man-made global warming.

And, to preempt your first item today, there is this one:
Harry Redknapp tax evasion trial: BBC get jury verdict wrong
The BBC has been left red-faced by a court reporting error after the corporation broadcast the wrong verdict from the Harry Redknapp trial. The public broadcaster’s flagship News 24 channel told viewers that the Tottenham Hotspur manager had been found guilty of one count of tax evasion.
The BBC? Broadcasting incorrect information? Who'd have thought....

Anyway, you're not covering any of those, or "BIG DAY for #Leveson: “@guardiannews: Leveson inquiry: Paul Dacre, Heather Mills, Max Clifford - live” as you described it earlier, and instead we have this stuff to deal with...

1) ENGLAND MANAGER - Are you a fan of Harry Redknapp or are you a fan of Fabio Capello? : Neither. No real news today then? I'm sure there is if you could be bothered to look. I think you are confusing me again with somebody who has any interest at all in "The Game". However, it says a lot when an Italian resigns because England are too corrupt. Either that, or it was all arranged in advance. Next...

2) CHILDREN IN CARE - Record numbers of children are being taken into care – not only children who have been abused, but also children who have been neglected. We talk to someone who says “there was ‘neglect’ in my family, but better that than being in care.” : Another "someone" - excellent. This is all very sad but this particular someone was brought up by loving parents, and continues to have no children of his own. Next...

3) SINGAPORE OCCUPATION - Seventy years ago this week, the so-called impregnable fortress of Singapore fell to the Japanese. Was your father or grandfather captured in that fateful week? : Sorry, no. My father was in North Africa maintaining Lancasters at the time, and my grandfathers were not called up for service due to their age. Next...

4) UNLIKELY SUCCESS STORIES - Finally, have you never sent a text or an email, do you have the reading age of a two year old and are you financially illiterate… but yet, like Harry Redknapp, have you been very successful in life? : Again no, that's not me. My parents have never sent a text or an email, but they can read. Does that count? And I wonder how many people with the reading age of a two year old just read this on your web page....?

So, nothing today again then. What a shame.

The Jeremy Vine Show - football is more important than real news, every day

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Today's show 08/02/12

An interesting story appeared in your beloved Dead Tree Press yesterday concerning one of your BBC colleagues. It was in the Daily Telegraph ( and your favourite Daily Mail ( Knowing how accurate and unsensationalist the Mail's reporting is (!) I shall quote from that particular organ:
BBC newsreader demands dress allowance despite earning up to £100,000-a-year
Jane Hill – who earns between £80,000 and £100,000 a year – said her male counterparts need only to change their ties, while a woman’s appearance on screen is more important now than ever. She said: ‘It’s expensive… as we have to buy all our own clothes. We’re criticised if we keep wearing the same thing, whereas male hosts only need new ties. Until that changes, we should get a dress allowance.’

I take great exception to the use of the word "earning". She may be paid £100,000 a year, but she and many other BBC talking news heads (Paxman and yourself included) certainly do not earn it. But it is not surprising to see that she is another example of a BBC face who has no knowledge of The Real World in which the rest of us live, where all kinds of working people have to buy their own workwear. One rule for the BBC, and one rule for the rest of us. Yes, that will be it. Again.

11:45, and I'm just waiting for you to update the web page...

000000000000000000000000000000000000 vccccccc   xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx      ..................hhhhhhhhhhh

That was a valued contribution from one of our cats as she walked across my keyboard. And in that one sentence she made more sense than anything George Galloway has ever contributed to your programme.

12:00, programme has started, and no web page update, so I shall have to type this while watching PMQs. Miliband really is rubbish, isn't he? Something needs to be done.

Oh, here we go...

1) NHS - The government is in a last ditch attempt to get its NHS reforms intact through the House of Lords today : From the BBC news page you link to: Controversial plans to overhaul the NHS in England return to the Lords later. Ah yes, England. Not Wales. We didn't have a big freeze here either. Next...

2) ABU QATADA - We can’t lock him up, we can’t extradite him, we speak to someone today who says its time to befriend Abu Qatada. Would you have the extremist cleric in your book club? : You know Jeremy, the only reason I write this stuff every day is to ridicule your programme and highlight its meaningless to me. Sometimes you make it very difficult for me, but on other occasions - like today - you make it very, very easy. My answer to your question might be "Yes", but I am not a member of a book club. Does that mean I don't need to listen? Oh good. Next...

3) TATTOO PARLOURS - A tattoo parlour in Ampthill has been sent hate mail. Some residents suggest that having a tattooist lowers the tone of the town. Find out more from Bedford Today : Our nearest town (not Ampthill) has a tattoo parlour. I am not aware, and have never heard, that anybody thinks it lowers the tone of the town. I, of course, have no opinion. Next...

4) HEALING CLAIMS - Finally, the Christians in Bath who have been banned from giving out leaflets claiming that God will heal the sick : Mars used to claim that "A Mars a day helps you work rest and play". Guinness used to claim that "Guinness is good for you". I didn't believe them either.

The Jeremy Vine Show - wondering if flared trousers qualify for a clothing allowance
(Oh, how I wish that video was still on YouTube)

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Today's show 07/02/12

A quick one today...
How is your Big Freeze going? Here in North Wales it is almost spring-like, with clear blue skys and relatively warm sunshine. We had a bit of a frost last night, but it was all gone within minutes of the sun rising above the mountains. I'm sure your listeners will be interested....!
So, perhaps today will be the day you talk about an issue that affects me...
1) ABU QATADA - Most newspapers today are outraged that Abu Qatada has been released on bail. But what exactly has he done wrong and what crimes has he committed in this country? : Newspapers? Outraged? Bless. My heart bleeds for them. Honestly. Like your programme, am I supposed to care about the opinions of the Dead Tree Press and what they try and tell me to think? They fail every day, of course, because I don't subscribe to their claptrap. I have no idea, or interest, in what Mr Qatada has done, but thanks for making me aware of another topic that I can thankfully ignore in the future. This sounds like an opportunity to drag Galloway in to the fray, and that in itself is a good reason not to listen. Next...

2) MEMORY LOSS - A man who was brutally attacked and lost his memory couldn’t even remember his lover. Eventually he learnt to fall in love with her again and they’re now happily married. It’s an extraordinary story : Is it? Oh. "A man" and his family are very lucky to have had such a happy outcome, and I am pleased for them. I was puzzled by your statement on Ken's show when you said it is "biologically impossible to forget your mum". Are you sure about that? I'm not. Next...

3) CHARLES DICKENS - The famous writer was born 200 years ago today. Which passage from Dickens do you know and love? : I last read Charles Dickens as part of English Literature at school. I left school in 1974. I failed my English Literature O-Level exam. Other than the titles of his works (useful for pub quizzes) I cannot remember a single thing. Mark me down as an ignorant, uneducated pleb, if you like. Next...

4) STALKING - Victims are calling for a new stalking law in England and Wales. They already have one in Scotland : This will be a promotion of last night's Panorama programme, which I didn't see. Perhaps you should use your celebrity status ( to help these poor victims to get the law changed, but somehow I don't think you will. And that, Jeremy, is a real shame.
So, not today then.
The Jeremy Vine Show - not changing anything, every day

Monday, 6 February 2012

A friendly message from the BBC's Editorial Complaints Unit...

Received today...

I've now had an opportunity to look into the relevant correspondence, and I can confirm that the expedited complaints handling procedure does apply to the email you sent to this Unit on 21 January.  I should also take the opportunity of rectifying an error; as your complaint doesn't relate to a matter of editorial standards in an item broadcast or published by the BBC, it doesn't fall within the remit of this Unit.  The issue it raises is a matter for the management of BBC Audio & Music, and accordingly I have forwarded your message to them.  As it is covered by the expedited procedure, however, they will respond only if they judge that it is covered by the exceptions to that procedure.

Yours sincerely

Fxxxxx Sxxxx
Head of Editorial Complaints

It was an email from the Complaints Department that caused me to write to the ECU, which said: However, if you believe a serious and specific breach of the BBC's Editorial Guidelines has occurred and you wish to pursue this complaint further, you can contact the BBC's Editorial Complaints Unit.

Left hand, meet right hand.

Today's show 06/02/12

Monday morning, but I'm just going to go back to Friday's programme for a moment. I know that inaccuracy and misinformation are a major part of your programme, but it only occurred to me on Saturday how inaccurate your reporting on Friday was concerning Mr Huhne. I am really annoyed with myself about missing THE point.

Your script said, quote: Chris Huhne and his wife will be charged over the speeding offence and the penalty points. He's resigned, but why should he - he's not yet been found guilty?
This text suggests it is the speeding offence that is the issue here, but that is just wrong. Your beloved BBC's news page (
) reports it correctly: Chris Huhne has quit as energy secretary after learning he will be charged with perverting the course of justice over a 2003 speeding case.

This offence goes to the very root of our legal system and, consequently, I understand that offenders may face a life prison sentence. Huhne is the first Cabinet minister in living memory to be charged with a serious criminal offence, yet you made no mention of perverting the course of justice, did you? Why would that be then? Surely you were not trying to steer the discussion away from the real issue and turn it in to "it was only some speeding points". Surely? The BBC giving a Lib-Dem an easy ride through a major offence ... who'd have thought? Thank goodness he isn't a Tory.

I also sent you some questions for Martin Lewis and Cancellation Day:
Cancellation Day sounds like a great idea! I'd like to cancel my BBC TV Licence and continue to watch TV. What advice can you give me? How many threatening letters will I receive - and ignore - before they stop coming? And when the TVL thug knocks on my door, should I just tell him he is committing aggravated trespass and tell him to go away? Any advice gratefully received!

I've just checked the iPlayer and neither he nor you makes any mention of this easy way to save £145.50 a year. Did you pass my question on to him? Perhaps you just ran out of time while you discussed freedom-of-choice Sky subscriptions in preference to pay-up-or-we'll-send-the-boys-round BBC TV licences? Yes, that'll be it, I'm sure.

Today's issue that affects me: We were woken to a loud crash at 06:50 yesterday morning. Investigations revealed that one of our cats had knocked a load of stuff of the kitchen cupboard shelves. More investigations revealed evidence that the mouse we saw several weeks ago was still around, so we can only assume that cat was chasing mouse. We spent yesterday morning clearing and cleaning the cupboard and left it empty and with the door open overnight. Lots of activity at 07:20 this morning as cats are running around and one catches and despatches said mouse. But are there any more?

Can we take a quick look at the news stories that you won't be covering today. That'll be because they concern the BBC. Let's start here:
<Scroll down the page>
The BBC’s party line on our 'brave’ social workers
We have long been familiar with the way the BBC ignores, with impunity, its statutory obligation “to ensure that all controversial subjects are treated with due accuracy and impartiality”. There is an ever-growing list of issues, from the EU to climate change, on which its coverage follows a clear “party line”, so partisan that it amounts to little more than propaganda.

That sums up the situation nicely, don't you think?

Knowing how well you like "daddy or chips" comparisons, this may be of interest to you:
Bacon sandwiches top T-Mobile list of Britain's 50 greatest loves
Bacon sandwiches, roast dinners and the obligatory cup of tea have topped a list of what Britain really loves the most in a survey released by T-Mobile.
1 - Bacon sandwiches
2 - Roast dinners
3 - Cup of tea
4 - British history
5 - BBC

You will know from reading this rubbish every day that I am a fan of the bacon sandwich and I am not surprised that a bacon sandwich is more popular than the BBC. They are better value for money too!

OK... so let's see if Monday 6th February 2012 is THE DAY when you talk about an issue that affects me:

1) BIG FREEZE - As forecasters warn of dangerous ice after the weekend's snowfall, we discuss whether you should take in a homeless person in these freezing temperatures : Talking about the weather - again? Can't you just tell its a Monday. It was 12 years ago that The Independent (
) wrote this: According to Dr David Viner, a senior research scientist at the climatic research unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia,within a few years winter snowfall will become "a very rare and exciting event". "Children just aren't going to know what snow is," he said. Thank goodness we have experts like that. The ONLY reason you are discussing this is because it has affected London and the South East, so it automatically becomes important. Here in North Wales today it rained all day Saturday but was dry and sunny yesterday. Today is grey overcast with some light drizzle and very occasional glimpses of a watery sun. The temperature is 5degC and is predicted to rise to 7degC later. We have not had a frost since the middle of last week. Go on, tell the nation, they'd love to know that. And, on the basis that it is not freezing, the answer to your question is "No". What about you? Next...

2) DIAMOND JUBILEE - Former prime minister Sir John Major talks to us about the Queen on the sixtieth anniversary of her accession to the throne : Is she in the studio today? Oh... This has every possibility of ending up as a free-for-all row between pro- and anti-monarchists. I think I'll give it a miss, thanks. Next...

3) DIANE FRANKLIN - We speak to a woman whose quadriplegic son has just started to speak after twenty years. Find out more from Mail Online : First day of the week, and the Mail makes an appearance - yay! This is fantastic news, but - again - I have promised Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie that I will listen to them today. Sorry. Next...

4) SYRIA UNREST - Syrian forces have intensified their bombardment of the city of Homs. Does this prove that we should have intervened earlier? : From the weather to foreign policy in under two hours - fantastic. Who are the "we" that should maybe have intervened earlier? I wasn't aware that "we" had intervened at all.

It looks like I shall remain disappointed.

The Jeremy Vine Show - radio for Room 101