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Friday, 3 June 2011

Today's show 03/06/11

Please join me in celebrating today as my I Hate The Jeremy Vine Show blog reached 3000 page views yesterday evening. Once again I thank my readers for taking valuable time out of their busy days to read my ramblings. You see Vanessa, it is not just me!

I haven't seen or heard anything about the Vanessa Feltz Campaign For Free Access To Supermarket Bins, so I can only assume that you decided not to take up my suggestion. To me, this means that you are just a talker, just like Jeremy. Have some clich├ęs: Talk Is Cheap, and Actions Speak Louder Than Words. And the point of your programme is what, exactly?

So let's look at today's tedium...

1) A-S LEVEL MATHS ERROR - Pupils were baffled and upset by an A-S maths question that was literally impossible to answer. Are you still haunted by an exam question? : Hmmmm.... now let me think back to 35+ years ago. No, I honestly cannot remember anything about my exams at that time, and so I can only come to the conclusion that I am not haunted by an exam question. I'm sorry to fall outside of your target audience today, as usual. I'll tag this one as a Ridiculous Question on my blog. I do feel sorry for the students who have been affected by this cock-up though. Next...

2) WITNEY LIBRARY - David Cameron's constituency of Witney will be using volunteers to run its library. Is that another step towards the 'big society', or are we just kidding ourselves that just about anyone can be a librarian? Find out more in this Guardian article (daily readership 264,000, down 8.7% in the last year) : This is the second day running that you have stolen a story from The Guardian. Now, I know that the BBC has a well-deserved reputation for siding with The Guardian's viewpoints on life (see
, for example) but I have to point out that you are failing to maintain Jeremy's consistently low standards by nicking stuff from a Dead Tree Press broadsheet and not from the Daily Mail. However, I have to admit that my knowledge of The Guardian's outlook is not good as I honestly cannot remember having read a copy - ever - as my barber chooses not to buy it. What am I to do, eh? Anyway, I used to be a librarian when I was at school, and successfully got to grips with Filmolux, card indexing and the Dewey Decimal System, but that was 35+ years ago too. Not going well, is it? Next...

3) E.COLI - Eighteen people have now died from the E.coli outbreak, and a number have been ill from poisoning in this country. Are you now frightened of salad? : Aaahhh... good to see that you are fuelling the flames of paranoia and hysteria. Jeremy will be proud of you, especially if you base your ramblings on the usual inaccuracies and lies that this programme depends on. I have always been frightened of salad. When eating out my heart sinks if my plate appears in front of me half full of leaves. The reason is quite simple: It takes up valuable chip space. I'm sorry that some people are ill, but based on the 2009 figures (
) since you started your lunchtime stint on Tuesday around 25 people ((2222 / 365) x 4) will have been killed on Britain's roads. But that happens every week, so fails to be detected by News Radar and is so classified as not newsworthy. You must be aware of old news business saying: If it bleeds, it leads (, unless it happens so often it is boring, apparently. Next...

4) TV TALENT SHOWS - Finally, did the bitter reality of TV talent shows break your child's heart? : I'll file this one under Ridiculous Question too. Just how many of your listeners do you think have children who have been involved in TV talent shows? Less than can be counted on one foot of a three-toed sloth, I would guess. You would have made this topic far more relevant had you omitted the TV requirement, but you know best, of course. We don't have any children, and I have never been in any kind of talent show, so this whole item is completely meaningless to me. Result!
As well as my blog passing 3000 views, there has been some more good news today: I was glad to hear on Zoe's show that today is your last day. And I have not listened to a single minute this week. Yay!

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