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Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Today's show 08/06/11

How are you getting in with producing that new trail for your show? I'm sure that Galloway will jump at the chance to be involved as it involves his two favourite subjects: Talking rubbish, and being paid to talk rubbish.
Anyway, let's take a look at four good reasons to tune away from Radio 2 at 12:
1) PRISON SENTENCING REFORM SHELVED - Justice Secretary Ken Clarke is told by the Prime Minister that he's not going to get his policy of having sentencing reduced for people who plead guilty early : So, what is your angle on this? Is it the change of policy? Is it your perception of a government that cannot make up its mind? Or is it your fabrication of a rift between Cameron and Clark? I would guess probably all three, with the important first one taking the least precedence. I have no plans to go to prison so this cannot be of any interest to me today. Next...
2) BIRDWATCHING - Birdwatchers flock to Hartlepool to see a rare robin. What on earth is the attraction of birdwatching? : You know, the English language is a wonderful thing. It is full of nuances and short phrases that are so innocuous when looked at on their own, but that can change the whole meaning of a sentence when included, or excluded. You have included such a phrase today: "on earth". Had you asked the question as "What is the attraction of birdwatching?" then I would have expected you to have a serious discussion (Ha! - that'll be the day) about a hobby that provides hours of interest and satisfaction for many thousands of people. You could have heard all sorts of tales from birdwatchers as to why they do what they do, the travelling they do to see a particular species and the inevitable cost of it all, and in the process educated those of us who are not birdwatchers about a hobby that we may never have considered. But, that wasn't good enough, was it? You added the words "on earth" to change the meaning in to a question of incredulity. It now means "Why the hell would some idiot want to waste their time and money standing in a field to watch some bird half a mile away?". Congratulations! With two words you have summed up EXACTLY why I consider your broadcasts to be utterly worthless. This will turn your discussion in to "taking the piss out of birdwatchers" and I hope that they respond robustly to that. Unfortunately, you control the microphone fader so their chances of making their point will be minimal. On a personal level I could ask you this question: What on earth is the attraction of watching football? Twenty-odd blokes kicking a ball around, what possible interest could that have? Beats me! However, the question that WILL ALWAYS go unanswered is, of course: What on earth is the attraction of the Jeremy Vine show? Next...
3) MEN WORKING IN NURSERIES - Following the conviction of the twenty year old nursery worker Paul Anthony Wilson, we talk to someone who's uncomfortable with men working in nurseries : Tragic though this is, have you forgotten the case of the female nursery worker in Plymouth who was convicted of similar crimes? See if it has slipped your mind. Perhaps the mysterious "someone" would like to see all adults banned from working in nurseries. The Jeremy Vine show: all you ever need to know about paedophiles. Next...

4) HAIR TRANSPLANTS - Finally, Wayne Rooney has been very open about his hair transplant. Are you somebody who went bald in your twenties? How did you explain your hair transplant when you walked into the office? : Finally, some more of the serious non-news for which your programme is so well known. OK, in answer to you questions: Wayne who? Yes, and I started going bald at 18. What hair transplant? I don't remember having one. And what office? Why on earth do you assume that anybody who has had a hair transplant must work in an office? Does Rooney work in an office? No. Who on earth writes these questions? Why on earth do you employ them? Why on earth can't they write an unbiased question? Why on earth are you on Radio 2 every day? Why on earth is your programme completely pointless? Why on earth do you refute or ignore criticism of what you do? Why on earth do you rely on the Daily Mail so much? Why on earth do you refuse to get involved instead of just talking? Where on earth is Howard Schultz when your listeners need him so much?
Why on earth will I be listening to 6 Music from 12? Because why on earth would I want to listen to you?.

1 comment:

Stonyground said...

Just a note to say that I generally agree with the posts here so closely that is is as if they are being written by another me from a parallel universe. I particularly liked the comments about football, baldness and the smug and superior take on birdwatching. Where I work we have some robins nesting, one of the lads has set up a security camera and a tiny black and white telly and everyone pops down every day to see how they are getting on.