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Friday, 15 July 2011

Today's show 15/07/11

Not on strike today then? No solidarity with The Bruvvers? Will I notice any difference? The uutterly appalling Nicky Campbell did his 5 Live listeners a favour this morning but not showing up for work, so why are you there? (

One advantage of signing-up to Twitter yesterday (as JVineBlogMan, although I am still trying to get the hang of it) was that I was able to spectate on the second "Ask Ed Miliband" session yesterday evening. Honestly, whoever persuaded him that this was a good idea is either a fool or somebody who doesn't like him very much. There were a lot of pointless questions asked, and for the benefit of my blog readers here are some of my favourites... ooops, I mean... here are some of the most irrelevant:

 - On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is not at all and 10 is absolutely disastrous, how helpful was Gordon Brown's intervention yesterday?
 - Can you confirm you're a 14 quadrillionth size Ed Zettaband?
 - When you were little, did you nick your big brother's toys, realise you didn't know how they worked, then break them?
 - Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near ?
 - Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person that drives a race car is not called a racist?
 - Would you rather fight off one horse-sized duck, or twenty duck-sized horses?
 - If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
 - When your political career is finished is there any chance you and your brother could be in the 118 adverts?
 - Did you run as a paper candidate in the leadership contest and now feel a bit scared and don't know what you're doing?
 - Will you be giving a single answer, over and over again to each question?
 - After last time you did this, what on earth made you think it was a good idea to do it again?
 - Has the government acted in a reckless and provocative manner? Should both sides put away the rhetoric and get around the table?
 - Have you been involved in an accident that wasn't your fault? If so, you could claim compensation.
 - Why did you leave the Muppet Show?
 - Are you paying too much for your car insurance?
 - I bought powdered water. What do I add?
 - Is there a sweet you can eat between meals without ruining your appetite?
 - If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?
 - Do both sides need to set aside the rhetoric and get around the negotiating table to stop this happening again?
 - If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it is it Nick Clegg's fault?
 - Which is more likely to be true - time travel as in the Terminator (linear), or Back to the Future (alternative branches)?
 - Will you go to the Commons and apologise to Vince Cable for saying he should be sacked for his 'war on Murdoch'?
 - Is it true you would do anything for love but you won't do that?
 - Are these strikes wrong? Have the public been let down by both sides? Should we put aside the rhetoric??
 - I've just taken all the tiles off my bathroom and need to retile. Should I get the wall plastered or put up plasterboard?
 - If somebody with multiple personalities threatens suicide, does that become a hostage situation?
 - Daddy or chips?

Shocking behaviour by some questioners, I am sure you will agree. And it looks like that naughty blogger Guido Fawkes (
) may have had something to do with it. There were some serious questions asked, but they mainly concerned Ed's presence at a party hosted by Murdoch recently, and they all went unanswered too. Poor Ed.

So, how about discussing the influence of Twitter on modern-day politics? Is it relevant, or just an irrelevance?

And how about discussing how promptly news-based (allegedly) radio programmes should update their web pages? 11:35, you've been on Ken's show and I'm waiting...

11:55 ... still waiting for the web site, so will make do with your Twitter stuff...

1) REBEKAH BROOKS RESIGNS : Blimey, who'd have thought, eh? Never saw this coming, did you? And hopefully yet another nail in the coffin of the Dead Tree Press ( I suspect that - yet again - you will concentrate on Murdoch and News International, and conveniently forget the allegations against the Daily Mirror, Gordon Brown's extraordinary speech in the House of Commons, and the Guardian's apology to The Sun for getting it wrong ( And, once again, the clarification is not given anything like the prominence of the original article. You describe this as "a shame", yet for me and many others it comes as no surprise at all. Journalists, pah! Thick as thieves, but lacking their integrity. Next...

2) MILITARY MEDALS - A soldier dies in Iraq. His widow receives a medal. His mother says, why not me, too? Find out more in this Birmingham Mail article : A fair question. I look forward to hearing about the change that your programme makes to this situation today. I won't hold my breath though. Next...

3) CYCLING SAFELY - You want to start cycling. Good for the planet and good for your cardiovasculars. Just one issue: how do you cycle without dying? : I took my Cycling Proficiency Test at school in 1972. I sold my bike in 1975 and put the money towards my first car. I can remember riding a bike once since then (on holiday in Majorca in 1987), and I've not ridden once since. And there are too many hills around here. Next...

4) LOTTERY WINNERS - The couple who won the Euromillions — more than £160m — are revealed to be in Falkirk. Will it destroy their life? : Probably not, but I'm sure that you will give it your best shot.

The Jeremy Vine Show - ignoring elephants a speciality


gill kerry said...

Im surprised he didnt discuss the channel

earthquake. JV Making the earth move for YOU.

Radio2LunchtimeLoather said...

A good point Gill, but you are forgetting his exacting story selection standards.

Story 1 was selected because it concerns "news" and "journalism" (whatever they are) and is so of great importance to JV.

Story 2 was selected because it allows JV to practice is fake sympathy and compassion, but without going to the trouble of doing anything constructive.

Story 3 was selected because JV has just started riding a bike and so is of great importance to him.

Story 4 was selected as it was just about the only choice for an upbeat and lightweight "end of the week" story, in the hope that its feelgood factor will last the weekend and cause listeners to tune in again on Monday.

At least his personal bias on story selection is consistent.

gill kerry said...

Haha, yes how i hate that fake sympathy voice. The empathis going up instead of down and vice versa. Makes me think if Sarah Kennedy, who i couldnt stomach either