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Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Today's show 31/05/11

Hi Vanessa!
Remember me? I'm the guy who dissects the stories (I hesitate to use the word "news" as it isn't really news, is it?) every day just to prove to myself and anybody who cares to read my blog (, and rapidly approaching 3000 page views) why the Jeremy Vine Show is completely pointless. One day, I hope, somebody from Radio 2 will say to themselves, "You know, he is right, this programme achieves nothing and does not belong on Radio 2, and certainly not in the middle of the day". Until that happens I will continue to criticise and ridicule the programme. However, I am known for my patience.

My recollection from last time that you stood in for Jeremy was that the show actually got worse. Had I not heard it with my own ears I would never have thought that to be possible. So let's see if you have any good reasons at all for me to continue listening to Radio 2 at 12 o'clock...

It is interesting that today you have chosen three stories from national newspapers, but not one from Jeremy's favourite member of The Dead Tree Press Preservation Society : The Daily Mail. The latest ABC circulation figures (
) make interesting reading, as they always do, as the slow and inexorable death of the printed press continues. One day they will all be gone, so you best steal as many stories as you can while they are still around. Jeremy has a slightly different way of finding stories, as he just looks in the Daily Mail and if nothing takes his fancy there a quick visit to the BBC News > England web page usually suffices to fill the show.

1) FIFA CORRUPTION ALLEGATIONS - The Fifa president Sepp Blatter insists his organisation is not in crisis amidst corruption allegations that the 2022 World Cup final was "bought" for Qatar and claims about a suitcase stuffed with cash : I think you are confusing me with someone who is interested in football. I played football when I was at school 30-odd years ago, and hated it. I have never been to a football match, and I am not aware of watching a whole match on TV. This is of absolutely no interest to me and is not a good start to today's show. Next...

2) NINETY-FIVE PER CENT MORTGAGE - As more young people expect to rent for longer, is a 95 per cent mortgage for first-time buyers the answer? Find out more in this Telegraph article (daily readership 640,000, down 6.4% in the last year) : I have no idea, and this story has absolutely no relevance to me at all. It's not looking good. Next...

3) WEEKLY BIN COLLECTIONS - Reports say that the government will give councils cash incentives to restore weekly bin collections. Find out more in this Independent article (daily readership 181,000, down 4% in the last year) : Here in Gwynedd we have a weekly bin collection that alternates between household waste and garden waste. We are provided with good quality bins in which to store rubbish between collections. Collections occur every Monday morning, including bank holidays, and it all works rather well for me. As you will appreciate, I am struggling to find any relevance to this story. Next...

4) ANTI-PAEDO SCHOOL UNIFORM - And a school in Glasgow has asked parents to dress their children in baggy clothes to deter paedophiles. Find out more in this Metro article : Now, I believe the Metro is that free newspaper that is handed out in large conurbations, but I'll be honest and say that I have no idea where I would get a copy from here in rural North Wales. Also, and being free, its circulation figures do not appear on the ABC report so we cannot gain any accurate insight in to just how popular it is. I do know that it is published by Associated Newspapers, who also publish the good old Daily Mail, and that probably says more about it than anything else. As for the story, well we don't have any children at that school in Glasgow so it is of no relevance to me.

So, Radio 2 loses another listener as I'm off to 6 Music.

More tomorrow!


Anonymous said...

There seems to be a problem with your dating, it is 11th May today. Anyway, just a note to say how much I am missing Jeremy Vine, it is half the show when it is a stand-in on. Can't wait to hear JV's informative discussion again.

Jo said...

There seems to be a problem with your dating, it is 11th May today. Anyway, just a note to say how much I am missing Jeremy Vine, it is half the show when it is a stand-in on. Can't wait to hear JV's informative discussion again.

Radio2LunchtimeLoather said...

Hmmm... thanks for your comment. I'm living in 2012. Are you still living in 2011? Jeremy often gets the most simple facts wrong, so he will probably be proud of you.