Today's show 31/10/11

Good, you're back, and the dull, dismal and despicable Ms Feltz has been banished back to the obscurity of Radio 2's night time coverage. Thank goodness for that!

Her hosting of your programme was not without incident or amusement, of course. How could it be any other way? I have to thank my regular blog reader and valued contributor Gill for bringing this fabulous article from the Daily Mirror to my attention:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2011/10/25/vanessa-feltz-goes-off-air-and-insults-travel-reporter-sally-boazman-on-radio-2-115875-23512635/

Vanessa Feltz goes off air and 'insults' travel reporter Sally Boazman on Radio 2

FORGET the TV battle between Strictly and X Factor, yesterday’s broadcast highlight was Vanessa Feltz’s embarrassing off-air “moment”.
The DJ, 49, was covering for Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 and left her mic on while playing a record.
Sounding incredibly bored, listeners heard her ask: “So, what happens next? I talk to, um, Sally, [travel reporter Sally Boazman] blah, blah, blah, she does the travel…?”
Yet when she officially went back on air, she chirped enthusiastically: “And one of the perks of this job is that I get to talk to Sally! Hello!”
Comedy platinum.

Comedy platinum indeed. Well, it made me laugh, as did some of the comments about Feltz that appeared on Radio 2's facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/BBCR2) when she wasted her Give An Hour item to be trained how to use the internet, apparently. Comments included:

 - Just what the internet needs, another moron.
 - Feltz proudly claimed yesterday "I have never sent an email in my life". I have a vision of her (... shudder ...) scratching out a note on velum using a quill, but how does she get it to her BBC managers? Carrier pigeon? Liveried footman? I think we should be told.
 - shocked that Radio 2 cannot get anyone better, for surely anyone would be better than her.
 - Hang on a minute ... if she doesn't do email and is not online, how come she has a Twitter account? More lies from the BBC! http://twitter.com/#!/vanessafeltz
 - My goldfish has more personality than the big V. With a bit of luck it will live longer too.
 - At the end of the day- she must have been the last possible choice to stand in, she is truly shocking.
 - Why is Vanessa Feltz (still) on radio 2 - makes me switch off until she goes on holiday - give the job to someone else - please

So, not a popular choice then! I have no doubt that public opinion will - as always - be completely ignored by the BBC.

It was on 21st October that I awoke to Radio 2's 08:00 news only to be on the receipt of an attempted brainwashing exercise when I was told - yet again - that the world is doomed from the affects of man-made global warming (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-15373071), yet these findings seem to have been discredited over the weekend (http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100114292/lying-cheating-climate-scientists-caught-lying-cheating-again/ and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2055191/Scientists-said-climate-change-sceptics-proved-wrong-accused-hiding-truth-colleague.html and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2055123/Climate-change-scientist-Jeffrey-Gleason-cited-Al-Gore-face-lie-detector-test.html and http://order-order.com/2011/10/30/climate-change-global-flatlining/) yet the BBC has - as usual - chosen to ignore these revelations. I'm surprised that you didn't go with this one today, as it appears in the Daily Mail twice!

The BBC is also in the news again, and conveniently ignored by your programme today. I found this article in the Daily Mail (again Jeremy, come on!) of great interest:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2055203/BBC-boss-Diane-Coyle-bias-row-second-job-advising-Labour.html

BBC boss in bias row as she takes second job advising Labour

Diane Coyle is paid £77,005 to work two-and-a-half days a week
The BBC was last night at the centre of a row over political bias after it was revealed that the vice-chair of its governing trust is advising the Labour Party.
Diane Coyle, deputy to chairman Chris Patten, is working as an aide to shadow Business Secretary Chuka Umunna – despite official guidance that warned her accepting the job could be inappropriate.
Ms Coyle, an economist, is paid £77,005 to work two-and-a-half days a week for the BBC Trust.

£77005 for two and half days a week? Got any jobs going? I could do that.

The links between the BBC and the Labour Party are well-known and acknowledged by everybody ... except anybody who works at the BBC, that is. One only has to look at your very own photo page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/jeremy-vine/photos/guests/) to see the pro-Labour bias that you have. There are 18 photos there showing your good self with the following guests:
1: Ed Miliband (LABOUR)
2: David Cameron (TORY)
3: Gordon Brown (LABOUR), presumably when he still thought you were a nice chap!
4: John Prescott (LABOUR)
5: Jack Straw (LABOUR)
6: John Prescott again (LABOUR), why two pictures? We know what he looks like!
7: Jacqui Smith (LABOUR)
8: Boris Johnson (TORY)
9: Neil Kinnock (LABOUR)
10: Martin Lewis (Top Bloke!)
11: Billy Ocean (biggest-selling black British artist of all time) - not sure why "black" is important.
12: David Miliband (LABOUR)
13: Drogbar and Willis (footballer and musician)
14: Dr Rowan Williams
15: Paul Weller (not smiling, as usual)
16: Richard Brunson (wasn't he a copper?)
17: Rolf Harris (LEGEND)
18: Ed Balls (LABOUR)

Discounting the non-politicos, that gives two pictures of Tories and nine of Labourites. So, is this a case of Tories not being invited or not wanting to appear on your programme, or is it just maintaining the BBC's pro-Labour bias? Or has your camera broken?

You won't be discussing that today, of course, so what are you going to depress your poor listeners with then? Let's see....

1) VIOLENT PORN - The killer of Joanna Yeates, Vincent Tabak, was obsessed by violent pornographic websites. How destructive is this material? : Aaahhh... pornography. A stock-in-trade of the Jeremy Vine Show and just what Radio 2 needs at lunchtime. Where would your programme be without it? So what research have you done? Or did you get somebody else to do the research so that they could tell you about it, like Penthouse magazine (October 14th)? The whole subject does not appeal so I'll skip this, if you don't mind. Next...

2) JIMMY SAVILE - Did Jim Fix It for you? We discuss people's recollections of the broadcaster and tireless charity fundraiser, Sir Jimmy Savile : I can remember him with black hair, and with it half black and half blond. However, and even as a child, I rarely watched Jim'll Fix It and could not stand him when he was on Radio 1. While I acknowledge the good work he did for various charities and hospitals I can honestly say that I was never a fan. I did watch the programme that Louis Theroux made about him, and that told me all I needed to know. I guess I could have written: Dear Jim, Please fix it for me to get the Jeremy Vine Show (or any equivalent) off Radio 2, for ever. Next...

3) DIABETES - After 1, in our health special with Dr Sarah Jarvis, are you worried about losing your driving job because you've got diabetes? : My driving job? You obviously know something about me that I do not! Perhaps you are confusing me with somebody else. Next...

4) CANOEISTS AND ANGLERS - And finally, canoeists and anglers are at war in the River Avon in Hampshire. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : This is nothing new. I used to live near the River Severn in Shropshire and the same arguments arose there. So which side are you going to ridicule today? As neither a canoeist or an angler this item is of no interest to me.

You'll love this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3q2iZuU5WM

Unfortunately you are not mentioned, but Radcliffe and Maconie are. It also seems to miss the point that most of the TV shows mentioned were made 30 years ago...

The Jeremy Vine Show - better than Feltz, but only just

Today's show 28/10/11

Dear blog readers, good morning!

A request: Do any of you have full access to the RAJAR listening figures for Radio 2 that were released the other day? There was a lot of crowing on the BBC about how many listeners Chris Evans has gained, so the figures must be broken down on a show-by-show (or hour-by-hour) basis. My attempts at accessing the RAJAR web site tell me that a paid registration is needed to access the full breakdown.

Hopefully, today is the last day of Feltz with JV apparently returning on Monday. Well, that's what his web page says anyway. I'll admit that I have felt a certain amount of disconnection this week due to not writing directly to the programme host, but we all have our crosses to bear.

With the BBC in the news again today (see below), it is no surprise to see that the BBC's behaviour is not up for discussion today and instead the ever-suffering Radio 2 listeners will be subjected to these issues that affect them, apparently...

1) SUPERMARKETS - Is there anything wrong with supermarket apprenticeships? Firms are being criticised for rebranding existing jobs to please the government. Find out more from the Telegraph : "Firms are being criticised...". By who? The Telegraph article doesn't say. And I think I'm a bit old for an apprenticeship now, so this is of no interest to me. Next...

2) RICKETS - There has been an increase in the number of children suffering from rickets because parents who use too much sunscreen on them are causing vitamin D deficiencies. Find out more from Metro : Just out of curiousity I contacted The Metro's distribution department a few weeks ago to see where I could obtain a copy of this bastion of the Dead Tree Press. Their reply was: We currently distribute the Metro newspaper via rail stations and on buses across most of the UK, however at present we don’t cover North Wales. They then went on to list the nearest places that I could obtain a copy with a choice of Merseyside/Warrington or various places in South Wales. I am now feeling deprived and marginalise but, and to the best of my knowledge, I do not suffer from a Vitamin D deficiency, and we have no children. Next...

3) ST PAUL'S PROTESTS - Would the anti-capitalist protest camp outside St Paul's Cathedral have been the ideal birthplace for Jesus? : I use a tagging system on my blog and one of the tags is "Ridiculous question". On this occasion I feel that that tag does not do the question justice. However, I love the sentence on the linked BBC news page that says: Dr Fraser says he could not support any move by the church to use "violence". The church? Involved in violence? That wouldn't happen, would it? Except for the many, many times that it already has happened, of course. And I have never, ever asked myself "What would Jesus do?". Next...

4) STONE THEFT - We've heard of metal theft but it's now stone that's being seized by thieves. Find out more from the Telegraph : Why do I get the feeling that Feltz will not have any grasp on this story at all....? Watch out for a sudden rise in stone thefts this weekend. Thanks Vanessa!

These are the BBC stories that I referred to earlier:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14120960

At a glance: BBC's annual report 2011

This section was of particular interest to me:
The BBC received more complaints - 240,000 - than the previous year, an increase of 20,000, although the corporation says it is normal to see fluctuation from one year to another.
Some 257 complaints were escalated, 17 of which were upheld or partially upheld.

Good to know that those guys and gals at the BBC Complaints Department have the job so well under their control that they only had to escalate 0.1% of the complaints received. I wonder how long it took to deal with the 17 that were upheld? No more than a day, surely?

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/peteroborne/100113804/coming-to-the-bbc-an-everyday-story-of-bias-and-falling-standards/

Coming to the BBC, an everyday story of bias and falling standards

There are very few institutions – maybe only the monarchy, the Armed Forces and Parliament – that express what it means to be British more than the BBC. The state broadcaster enjoys a very privileged place indeed at the heart of our national conversation. But this, in turn, means that there is an implicit deal between it and the British people.
On the one hand, the BBC is funded by public money and given a semi-monopoly of broadcast news coverage. On the other, the BBC is by charter expected to reflect the British values of fair-mindedness, decency and tolerance.
Sadly, it is only very rarely that the BBC keeps its side of the bargain, and this negligence is starting to become a scandal. Rather than representing the nation as a whole, it has become a vital resource – and sometimes attack weapon – for a narrow, arrogant Left-Liberal elite.

I could not have put it better myself!

The Jeremy Vine Show - telling us what they want to tell us, not what we want to hear

Today's show 27/10/11

Hello dear blog readers!

Sorry I am a bit late with today's update, but a shopping trip to our nearest town took a little longer than expected. There was, however, an unexpected bonus to this as it gave me the opportunity to listen to Feltz promoting her pathetic programme on Zoe's show, and during which conversation she came out with this amazing statement:

I have never sent an email in my life, and I am proud of that.

It was only yesterday that I wrote about this programme needing somebody who lives in The Real World, and Feltz has proved in that one sentence that she does not. Unfortunately some idiot at Radio 2 thinks that that makes such a good qualification that she is ideal to stand in for JV during his many absences. I would disagree.

I can't help thinking that I'm wasting my time by sending this text in an email to her ... perhaps she doesn't read emails either ... but I shall continue, if only to maintain an almost complete record of the drivel discussed on the programme. Today's offerings look to be of the usual poor standard and are as follows:

1) KNIFE CRIME - If you're over sixteen and convicted of threatening someone with a knife, you'll automatically go to jail. That's the government's plan to shake up sentencing in England and Wales : Sounds good to me. Next...

2) MANDARIN - Selfridges in Manchester is teaching its staff Mandarin in an effort to attract Chinese shoppers. Find out more from the Manchester Evening News : Is this what passes for news these days? Good to see Selfridges taking a pro-active approach to building their customer base (and I am sure that they will be grateful for the free publicity), but our nearest Selfridges store is 120 miles away, I'm not Chinese, I don't work for Selfridges, I cannot recall ever going shopping in Manchester, and I have no plans to do so. Next...

3) GOTHS - What should you do if your teenager becomes a goth? : Errrr... Shoot them? Buy them some black eye liner? Become a goth too? Feltz makes it sound like a disease. A better question would be: What should you do if your favourite radio station broadcasts complete crap for two hours in the middle of the day?, but we already know the answer to that. And no children = no teenager. Next...

4) GETTING ONLINE - As part of the BBC's Give An Hour Week, we drag Vanessa kicking and screaming to a computer to show her how to get online. Find out more about Give An Hour Week : Guess what. I'm already online. Hopefully this item will expose Feltz as the complete muppet she really is.

Meanwhile, the BBC is in the news again (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/active/8844483/BBCs-too-little-too-late-apology-to-Tory-MP.html) for broadcasting "misleading" news:
BBC's 'too little, too late' apology to Tory MP
Andrew Tyrie, the Tory MP shown apparently being muzzled by Steve Hilton at the Tory Conference, wants a proper apology from the BBC

The BBC? Misleading news? Apologise? This will not be discussed today, or ever.

And there is this one too (http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/279097/Why-is-BBC-funding-Somali-radio-station):
WHY IS BBC FUNDING SOMALI RADIO STATION?
THE BBC’s impartiality was questioned last night after a Sunday Express investigation revealed it has been pocketing millions of pounds in EU aid money.
BBC-backed projects funded by the grants include a £2.3million EU handout to “assist the digital switchover in Serbia” last year.
One particularly obscure project was “unblocking the cocoa value chain in Eastern Sierra Leone”.
That will be OUR Licence Tax money being wasted, and that, of course, will never be discussed on the JV programme either.

The Jeremy Vine Show - ignoring bias, mismanagement and corruption at the BBC, every day

Today's show 26/10/11

Dear readers of my blog, welcome!

 

Feltz continues in the JV's long-held tradition of discussing topics that are completely and utterly irrelevant to me again today. I am sure he will be proud of her. When, oh when, will somebody at Radio 2 realise that this programme needs a good kick up the arse and a presenter who lives with the rest of us in The Real World is desperately needed. Pigs preparing for take-off there I think, and so Radio 2's listeners will continue to be subjected to what the BBC want to tell us, rather than what we want to hear. What a shame that we have to pay for this rubbish!

 

Today's issue that affects me: Should I use one-pack or two-pack etch primer on aluminium?

 

So why will I be switching to 6 Music at 12 today? Let's see....

 

1) UNFAIR DISMISSAL - Companies should be able to sack unproductive workers without any explanation or fear of unfair dismissal claims, according a leading venture capitalist who is advising the government : Can I nominate two unproductive people that the BBC should sack immediately? They would be Vine and Feltz. Other than filling the airwaves with waffle they produce nothing but hatred, division, high blood pressure, frustration and rage. But as a self-employed sole-trader I can't see me having to sack myself. Next...

2) DENTISTS - An inquest has found that a young woman died from a sceptic tooth because she was too afraid to go to the dentist. Find out more from the Watford Observer : The Watford Observer? Did the Daily Mail miss this story? This is just another opportunity for Feltz to crank up the Random Sympathetic Voice Generator. I am not afraid to go to the dentist and I have just got back from my six-monthly dental check-up (i.e. this very morning) and know how important it is, whether it is an unpleasant experience or not. There are others that are far, far worse! Bear with me while I attempt to find some sympathy for somebody who hasn't got the gumption to deal with a serious illness. This may take a while... Next...

3) DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - People could be given the power to find out from the police if a new partner has a history of domestic violence under new government proposals : I have no plans at all to find a new partner as I am very happy with the one I have. Next...

4) SEAGULLS - Do you have a problem with antisocial seagulls in your local town? We speak to the MP who is raising the issue in parliament today : I live less than 2 miles from the sea and so we see seagulls all the time. If nothing else, they are an extremely useful and efficient way of disposing of cat food that has gone a bit "tired". Other than the odd poop, they do not cause us any problems and they are a miniscule price to pay for living in this lovely part of the country.

 

Still looking...

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - more false sympathy and false outrage than we know what to do with!

Today's show 25/10/11

Hello dear blog readers!

Feltz is back on Radio 2 this lunchtime in an effort to offer some kind of entertainment to those poor listeners who have no available substitue for her random ramblings. A quick scan of today's menu shows that she is following JV's lead and conveniently ignoring any news story to do with the self-righteous leviathan that is the BBC, such as these two:

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/279112

BBC BLOWS YOUR CASH ON 100 LEAVING PARTIES

BBC FATCATS have splashed out thousands of pounds of licence-payers’ cash on nearly 100 leaving parties at exclusive restaurants and bars.
Staff, including many top executives, spent £70,000 on alcohol and lavish parties despite a pledge to cut more than 20 per cent off the corporation’s entire budget. The figure includes £20,403 on staff leaving parties at top London venues.
On top of that, executives blew £48,000 last year on beer, wine and spirits at award ceremonies, parties and power lunches, which amounts to a weekly alcohol bill of  nearly £1,000. 
No surprise that a story from the Daily Express has been ignored (although see item 2 below), but it also appears in the Daily Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8844478/BBC-criticised-for-spending-70000-on-leaving-parties-and-awards-ceremonies.html) so it must be true, surely?

Damn! The second story was also from the Daily Telegraph but they have deleted the page for some reason. It was all about BBC staff being banned from having rubbish bins near their desks to stop them being “territorial and defensive”. It was on their website, so surely it must be true as well.

Anyway, this is what Feltz will be boring her poor listeners to death with today...

1) EUROPE - Eighty one Conservative MPs defy David Cameron to vote for an EU referendum. Have the rebels restored your faith in politics? : No, they haven't. As has been usual for the BBC since the Commons vote result was announced, there has been scant mention of the 19 Labour MPs who defied Ed Miliband. One rule for one... Next...

2) HOUSE HUSBANDS - A survey suggests that the number of house husbands has risen ten-fold in the last decade. If you're a house husband, how have you - and others - reacted to your role? Find out more from the Express : The Express? What would Jeremy say? I am not aware that any item from the Daily Express has been nicked for use on the programme before. There really is a first time for everything. Oh, and I am not a house husband. Next...

3) ST PAUL'S PROTESTS - Police say just one in ten of the anti capitalist protestors' tents, which are pitched outside St Paul's Cathedral, are occupied at night. If demonstrators are going home at the end of the day, should officers seize their tents? Find out more from the Telegraph : Ah yes, those will be the tents purchased from the "capitalist" companies that have the audacity to make them. The protestors claims that they are "the 99%" sits uncomfortably with me. They have a web site with a woolly sort of "mission statement" on it (http://occupylsx.org/?p=221) but, and as is usual with these things, it says "we don't like this" but fails to come up with alternatives. I have no sympathy for their cause so this must mean that I must be one of the 1%, so are the 99% protesting about me? What have I done? I could, of course, be part of an unknown percentage who are not included either the 99% or the 1%, but that would leave me completely marginalised, or is maths not their strongpoint? I just object to these people automatically assuming that they have my support when they very definitely do not, especially as the original "Occupy" movement appears to have been hijacked by UKUncut. Perhaps they should ask some Palestinians if they agree with the concept of "occupation" as being a good thing. And good to see that they had Polly Toynbee lecture them on Sunday about how wonderful they are. With three houses, children in private education and earning £110K per year just from her Guardian column I can think of nobody more appropriate! Meanwhile, it looks like the protest is over in Scotland (http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scottish-news/2011/10/25/the-revolution-is-over-thanks-to-one-thieving-paisley-ned-86908-23513131/) following a robbery from the lone protester. "He took my mobile and a few pounds in cash, then threatened to come and find me if I went to the police. After he left, I ran to the council offices and started shouting for help. But there was nobody there so I went up to my mum's house." Poor bloke. Next...

4) KNOTWEED - We talk to the couple who have to demolish their home because of Japanese Knotweed. Find out more from Mail Online : The Daily Dose of The Daily Mail... An unfortunate story, but this paragraph tells me all I need to know: The(y) are seeking £400,000 compensation and claim that the solicitors failed to ensure there was a National House-Building Council warranty which provides the insurance cover for ten years in the event of any problems. The solicitors entirely deny liability and contest the claim. My question to the owners would be: Why didn't YOU check that you had an NHBC warranty? I'd bet that Feltz wouldn't dare ask that question. As for the knotweed, let's all blame man-made global warming.

Today's show 24/10/11

So what have the lunchtime Radio 2 audience done so bad that they have to suffer The Abominable Ms Feltz today? I consider that Jeremy and I have a good relationship in that I send him my daily "your programme is utter rubbish" email and he at least has the courtesy to stick his fingers in his ears and go "La La La La", and I respect him for that. Unfortunately that same respect does not exist for you. I really cannot stand you at all.

So, I can sum up today's reason why I won't be listening to your programme in two words: VANESSA FELTZ
Instead, then, I will write my daily criticism of your programme purely for the benefit of my many blog readers and pretend that you don't exist....

1) EU REFERENDUM - A number of Conservative MPs are planning to defy the party leadership and vote today for a referendum on Britain's membership of the EU. With the euro in crisis, is this the ideal time for a public poll or a dangerous distraction? : Neither? Sounds like Cameron is trying to dictate what his MPs should do, and we all know what happens to dictators. Perhaps Galloway will want to be his friend. Next...

2) PARENTS IN PRISON - Do you remember the day when your parent was jailed? : I had to do some checking on this, so I've just spoken to my parents (now both well in to their 80s) and they have confirmed that neither of them have been to prison. That explains why I cannot remember it happening. Next...

3) FAITH IN THE WORLD - As part of Radio 2's Faith in the World week, we discuss white, British women who are converting to Islam : Odd usage of a comma there, but I am still not a woman. Next...

4) WIDE CARS - And as our cars get wider, is that causing problems when you park in the garage or at the supermarket? Find out more from Mail Online : Aaahhh, the Daily Mail ... bless. I have not had that problem. Perhaps parking bays are larger here in North Wales.

So, what else can I tell you today? Well....

For those of you on Twitter I can recommend following @Vine_Watch. This is written by somebody who is forced (presumably in an office or similar) to listen to JV every day, and the contributions from others are great too. His Twitter description is the beautifully written:

Jeremy Vine is the 'Tim-nice-but-Dim' of BBC Radio 2. He is an idiot and so are his callers. Here's some of the utter bollocks spewed out on his show everyday.

And that is exactly what appears. As you know, I don't listen at all but that means I miss such treats as:

Did jeremy vine really just segue a discussion about gadaffi's execution into a dolly parton christian country song called sacrifice? (@TobyPlanas)

Oh dear. JV's chosen Supertramp's 'Give A Little Bit' for his item on human egg donation. Inspired by his sperm donating friend? (@macnovel)

Jeremy Vine "That was Chris Rea. He's still going strong isn't he!" U mean cancer surviving diabetic wth half a colon ChrisRea? wot u think? (@Vine_Watch)

Caller Jeremy Vine Show: "How can I afford to keep the heating on? It's getting to the point we'll have to walk around fully clothed" (@Vine_Watch)

JV's quote of the day, "it's illegal to hit a child in a criminal way" no shit, Sherlock! (@1958penny)

JV says 'repeating untrue rumours only gives them credibility'. What, like on a national radio programme you mean? (@Schmiffy12)

Thanks for the heads-up. Sounds all a bit high-brow for JV. I'm sure he'll drag it down to his level by the end of the show. (@Vine_Watch)

Jeremy Vine says he 'was told' what was inside the covers of Penthouse when he was younger. (@macnovel)

Yes, hes using Sympathetic Voice Number 28 from his Emot-voice-bank for this segment. (@Vine_Watch)

I thought we may escape the stupid, patronising, and childish sound effects today seeing as Jeremy Vine is having a day off... Sadly not. (@Vine_Watch)

There are two people on the Jeremy Vine show arguing about the proper place to put an out of date chicken. You couldn't make it up. (@QunitinForbes)

"Caro Emerald, one of those very talented woman singers" - Patronising comment from Jeremy Vine, ironically during a feminism phone-in. (@Vine_Watch)

Did Jeremy Vine just say "you can google that on a search engine"? (@StuRobson)

"Does your narrow boat have a land line?" the spirit of Jeremy Vine lives on! (@Dickie_Shoulder)

... and so on.

You will remember the character assassination that JV did on Ricky Gervais last week. JV was crowing on Twitter about an article in The Independent over the weekend (http://www.independent.co.uk/opinion/columnists/janet-street-porter/editoratlarge-seems-well-use-any-word-today-except-a-word-of-kindness-2374647.html) in which he said:

In my mind it begs the question: Why didn't JV do this himself? But we all know the answer to that question: Because he does nothing! As for Mr Gervais, perhaps his true views on disability shine through in this YouTube video that he made for jobability.com: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=WH2XmBj0wSU

Apparently Feltz is on all week... oh joy.

The Jeremy Vine Show - still thinking that Twitter is a wonderful thing.

Today's show 21/10/11

I see the BBC are in the news again today, although both stories will be conveniently buried under the tidal wave of Gaddafi stuff. You probably missed them, so here they are...

The first one concerns the BBC's coverage of the Dale Farm debacle (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/8839523/BBC-accused-of-overstaffing-as-protesters-pull-out-of-Dale-Farm.html):
BBC accused of 'overstaffing' as protesters pull out of Dale Farm

The BBC was accused of "ludicrous over staffing" today after it emerged that it had more reporters than there were protesters at the Dale Farm traveller eviction.
While the number of activists dwindled, the BBC still had six satellite crews, a handful of local correspondents and a team of documentary makers on the six acre site.

Other news media organisations apparently managed with less facilities and less staff, not that I saw any of the coverage. We can only hope that those BBC cuts are long, hard and painful.

The second one is a follow-up from the Rangers Football Club story I brought to your attention a few days ago (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-15395427):
'Criminality' claims over Rangers owner Craig Whyte

Rangers owner Craig Whyte has said he will take legal action over a BBC documentary which carried allegations of criminality in his past dealings.

I am no fan of football, but I wish him the very best for a successful prosecution. Hopefully it will be the first of many.

Today's issue that affects me: Eating burnt toast - good, or bad?

A quick scan of today's topics for your programme shows that you have managed to resist the latest "global warming" story that was pummelled in to my brain by the Radio 2 news just after 08:00 this morning (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-15373071). Perhaps we can have a one-sided argument (in that you will tell me what to think, I will contradict and you will ignore me) next week, maybe?

So, what did you choose for Friday's menu...

1) COLONEL GADDAFI - The Sun’s front page shows a picture of a dead Colonel Gaddafi with the headline ‘That’s for Lockerbie’. He may have been a brutal dictator, but is this the best way to get justice? Meanwhile, television news splashed pictures of a bloodied Gaddafi’s body being dragged through the streets. Were you appalled by the brutality of the pictures? : Gaddafi's death is unfortunate as it means that he cannot be put on trial, and after which he would probably have been killed anyway, like Saddam Hussein. A trial would have brought all sorts of interesting episodes to light, and I feel sure that Tony Blair, and others, slept a little more soundly in their beds last night by knowing that he is silenced. So, and in answer to your first question, this was not the best way to get justice. Unfortunately, the Jeremy Vine Show has a record for not changing anything so I have doubts that you can bring him back from the dead. The second question suggests that you want to spend time looking at the journalism used to cover Gaddafi's death - big up the journo scum! The papers are a disgrace, as usual, and I didn't see any of the TV pictures so I have no opinion on them. More importantly, which flesh-presser are you going to have on the show to tell us how wonderful and misunderstood Gaddafi was? I doubt you'll get Blair, and I think Gordon is still not talking to you, so my prediction is that it will be Galloway. I'm not prepared to take that risk so there, Jeremy, is a good reason not to listen. Next... 

2) STAMPS - Would you pay £1 for a first class stamp? : There is no mention of a £1 fee on the BBC news page you link to, so where did that figure come from? The Ofcom proposal (for that is all it is at the moment - http://consumers.ofcom.org.uk/2011/10/safeguarding-the-uk%E2%80%99s-universal-postal-service/) says: Ofcom proposes to put a price cap of between 45p and 55p on Second Class stamps for standard letters to protect vulnerable customers from significant price rises. That'll do for me, and other delivery services are available. If first class stamps go up to £1 it will make it worthwhile for somebody to find a way to forge them. Next...

3) LIVING ALONE - Esther Rantzen joins us for a special item on the loneliness of living on your own. Esther writes for the Mail Online : I lived on my own for years, but I don't any more. Good to see the Mail making an appearance on your programme, though. Next...

4) WORRYING LIVESTOCK - Farmers often threaten to shoot dogs who worry their livestock. A farmer from Burton did just that and killed a beagle and a whippet. Find out more from the Burton Mail : The loss of a pet is always heart-breaking, but I've never owned a dog and have no plans to do so.

A dead dictator, stamps going up, loneliness and dead pets, and you just said on Ken's show "Don't miss that" ... I would rather boil my head, and so it just has to be:

The Jeremy Vine Show - brightening your weekend in our own special way!

Today's show 20/10/11

I've just been looking at your Twitter feed and I am pleased and reassured to see that it is not just me that gives you some stick on there. I was particularly amused by one from @cbandyxxx who said:

Have you blocked him from following you too?

I'm busy today, so moving on quickly to today's tosh then...

1) DALE FARM - As the evictions from the traveller camp at Dale Farm continue today, did you look at the TV pictures and feel sorry for the police? : Did I look at the TV pictures? No, I did not. Do I feel sorry for the police? They are doing a difficult job against some genuine law breakers, but I do not feel sorry for them. Do I need to listen to you banging on about this yet again? Definitely not. Another contributor to your Twitter feed is the aptly named @theJeremyVile (who follows me @JVineBlogMan, I am pleased to say) and he posted this earlier today, which I will re-post here without comment:

Is he another Twitter user that you have blocked from following you? Next...

2) FRACKING - Britain looks for more sources for energy. Would you rather have a wind farm or a fracking plant in your back yard? What is fracking and why is it controversial? : You covered this on 24th May and gave an explanation of the process. Do you think your listeners have short memories? Other than the protestors on Blackpool Tower the other day, what has changed since then? And yes, I have seen the YouTube videos of people setting fire to water as it flows from a tap - allegedly - but I have also seen this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSWUEpayxZA that confirms my view of YouTube videos. There is huge scope for bias, misinformation and lies in this item today, so you'll be in your element and I won't be listening. Next...

3) FOREIGN AID - Is foreign aid the one big thing that attracts you to the Conservative Party or the one big thing that turns you off the Tories? : You said on Ken's show that you were interested in the views of the "middle ground of floating voters". Unfortunately I have never been a "floating voter". Next...

4) RICKY GERVAIS - The comedian has been criticised for using the term ‘mong’ in his comedy routine. Disabilities groups say it’s deeply offensive. Find out more from Newsbeat : Newsbeat? Sheesh! Is this the biggest storm in a teacup that you could find today? I find your programme offensive, so when are you going to discuss that?

The Jeremy Vine Show - including 30 minutes of fracking rubbish

Today's show 19/10/11

 It was interesting to hear Chris Evans talking about your programme at about 08:10 this morning, and in particular about the "GPs sacking patients" discussion yesterday. I did not hear the discussion, of course, but he said that it was one of the most balanced debates between two people of widely opposing views that he had ever heard on your programme, and he sent his congratulations to you and your team. Frankly, I believe Chris's congratulations are misplaced and they should have gone to your guests instead if they conducted themselves with the decorum that he described. Perhaps Chris, like me, will listen to reasoned debate but does not enjoy the daily spectacle of the verbal fisticuffs that is the unfortunate mainstay of your programme.

Stopping a good slanging match is not one your strong points, and some would say that you even promote such things to occur. In fact, you were so proud of the 4th October ruckus, as you described it, between Gorgeous George Galloway (on behalf of Comrade Crow) and some Daily Mail Blogger that you promoted it on your Twitter feed (Ruckus on my show earlier and you can hear it. Bob Crow, Mail blogger @AlexSingletonUK & @georgegalloway ... http://bit.ly/q30dJA) but you chose not to mention the two GPs' discussion. I find it odd that you chose to promote Radio 2 at its very worst but were silent on what was, according to Chris Evans, a fine piece of radio. Only a few minutes ago you Tweeted "BBC News: 'Smacking does does not work' says Assembly member http://bbc.in/oRowqI Clip from Monday's lively debate on@theJeremyVine show". Having had a quick listen I can confirm that it was indeed "lively" as you describe, but a debate it certainly was not. It was the usual slanging match between two people who continually talked over the top of each other making any argument they were trying to make virtually unintelligible. Meanwhile, the host let them get on with it, presumably while thinking "How can I force my opinion through?". I can only conclude that my view of what you think makes "good radio" is correct.

Steve Wright has also made several mentions of your programme in his show recently. Has some kind of Radio 2 diktat gone out to your fellow broadcasters to give your show a bit more prominence than the usual blink-and-you'd-miss-it "... Jeremy is at 12 ..." which they have used in programme promotions for so long?

Today's issue that affects me: Why, when buying timber, is the cross-section dimension nominally given in inches (for example, 2 by 4) but the length is given in metres?

I see the BBC are in the news again today for the usual stuff: corruption and bias. I've not time to look at the corruption story (http://order-order.com/2011/10/19/bbc-tries-cover-up-for-yentob/) but the bias one is of interest to me. Rangers Football Club have issued a statement on their web site (http://www.rangers.co.uk/articles/20111018/club-statement-on-bbc_2254024_2485938) in which they say: "Rangers Football Club is withdrawing all co-operation with the BBC as of today. The decision has been taken due to the repeated difficulties the Club has encountered with the BBC this season." and they cite:
 - "serious misrepresentation of the Club manager's position on violence and sectarianism"
 - "a documentary ... which appears to be little more than a prejudiced muckraking exercise"
 - "BBC has ... demonstrated a pre-determined negative attitude towards Rangers and its fans and its journalism has fallen well short of acceptable standards"
But as they involve poor journalism AND the BBC you won't be covering those stories today, or ever, will you?

Time to look at Wednesday's woes then....

1) DALE FARM - Riot police have moved in to Dale Farm to evict the travellers who its claimed are illegally camped : At the risk of repeating myself, I have just checked again and Basildon is still over 300 miles from where I live, so this is definitely not one of those mythical "issues that affect you" that you erroneously claim to broadcast. Whose side are you going to take this time? Will it be the hard-worked police force trying to uphold the law in difficult circumstances, or will it be like last time and you will take the side of the site residents who may be the victims of alleged ethnic cleansing? Your mention on Ken's show that Jonnie "flan flinger" Marbles will be contributing to this item only goes to confirm that I am still not interested! What has he got to do with ANYTHING? Next...

2) WOLFSON PRIZE - Lord Wolfson, the Chief Executive of Next, is offering a prize of £250,000 for anyone who can come up with a credible way of dismantling the Euro. Find out more from the Financial Times : Fascinating! Real target audience stuff again! Perhaps one of your listeners will win the prize. Or perhaps not. Anyway, the link you give to the FT is hidden behind their "pay wall" so I cannot read it without registering, and frankly I cannot be bothered to do that. Oh well, you know what they say: No FT? No comment! Next...

3) OLD PEOPLE'S HOMES - A campaign group wants to encourage older people with large empty houses and too many rooms to sell their homes to younger people who need the space : Apostrophes, don't you just love them? So well done for getting this tricky one correct! We don't have a large empty house with too many rooms, so this has no relevance to me at all. Next...

4) EGG DONORS - Women who donate eggs are going to be able to claim £750 in expenses. Critics say this will encourage women to do it for the wrong reasons : I've just done another check and guess what ... I'm still not a woman.

The Jeremy Vine Show - not a clue of what makes good radio

Today's show 18/10/11

So, did you manage to work out why IndyCar racing was so dangerous yesterday? Might it have been something to do with racing cars at high speed in close proximity to each other on a narrow circuit? Who'd have thought, eh?

 

And did you ask Chris Huhne about his speeding ticket problem? You were lucky to get him in the studio at all apparently, because he didn't turn up for Newsnight!

Today's issue that affects me: Is 11:30 too late to eat a bacon sandwich?

Following your success last Friday, are you going to tempt me to listen again today? Let's see...

1) HILLSBOROUGH DISASTER - The Home Secretary promises Hillsborough families that no stone will be left unturned. Will Hillsborough disaster files be made public? : Am I meant to predict the answer to that question? Hang on... I'll just get my crystal ball. You had Kelvin MacKenzie on your show only last Friday, so perhaps you should have him back on again today to discuss his involvement with the Sun's erroneous reporting of events on that tragic day. While I may be prepared to accept that he made an editorial mistake it is his behaviour since then that I find disgusting. I have read that "on 11 January 2007, MacKenzie went on record as a panellist on BBC1's Question Time as saying the apology he made after the disaster was a hollow one, forced upon him by Rupert Murdoch. MacKenzie further claimed he was not sorry "for telling the truth" but he admitted that he did not know whether some Liverpool fans urinated on the police, or robbed victims" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Sun_(United_Kingdom)). Perhaps he may like to clarify his position on your show today, as I am sure that a lot of people would like to hear that. Or did you only have him on the show last Friday because he is a well-known and bumptious journalist who could be relied on to say something controversial? As you so plainly work by your own set of double standards how can I trust anything you tell me? Next...

2) GPS CUT PATIENTS - Are you annoyed because you’ve been struck off by your GP? : No, because I haven't. Next...

3) FUNERAL ETIQUETTE - We look at funeral etiquette. People don’t know how to behave when they see a funeral cortege. Find out more from The Telegraph : Fifth paragraph in the Telegraph's article says it all: The Co-op said that almost a third of people aged between 18 and 44 are now totally unaware of the unwritten rules for funeral processions. Perhaps if they were written down then those people that may not know or understand would stand a better chance of doing so, but I suppose it gives you the chance to educate some of your listeners today. Fortunately I am one of those who knows the "rules" so I do not need to listen. Next...

4) PRISONER SWAP - In Gaza, 1,000 Palestinian prisoners are exchanged for one Israeli soldier : I have absolutely no interest in this topic.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - a good reason to switch to 6 Music

Today's show 17/10/11

Another quick one today due to pressure of more important stuff to do...

Today's issue that affects me: Tap a thread, use a nut and bolt or rely on a self-tapper?

I did listen to your discussion on journalism last Friday. I was not surprised to hear that you took a biased "no licences" view, that the broadcast media was not included in your discussion and that nothing changed. Your mention of Dr Shipman was a "cheap shot" so typical of your programme and did not make any valid point at all, in my opinion. It was good to hear McKenzie confirm my view that journalism is not a profession: Trade yes, profession no. I'll admit you made me laugh when you said, "I'd have to get a licence in order to speak to you" and we can only hope that the qualification examination is rigorous, doesn't include use of apostrophes and that nicking stories from the Daily Mail causes an automatic fail.

It also reminded me why I don't listen to your programme at any other time!

Anyway, let's move on to Monday's moans...

1) ANTI-GREED PROTESTS - As demonstrators spend a third night camping outside St Paul’s, are you someone who despised anti-capitalist protestors during the boom but now support them? : In answer to your question: No, I am not. I loved the interview on the BBC news page you link to where the guy says, "We know families that are counting the baked beans on their children's plates". As this is from the BBC, who surely would never broadcast something purely to gain public sympathy for a particular cause or without evidence to support a claim (yeah, right), I have no doubt that the names and addresses of these poor people were forthcoming from the interviewee. Are you going to get one of these families of bean-counters on your show? Next...

2) ENERGY PRICES - We’re joined by Chris Huhne the Energy Secretary. What is the government doing to bring down the cost of gas and electricity? : About as much as you do about ANYTHING discussed on your programme, I reckon. Are you going to ask him about his alleged speeding ticket misdemeanour? I thought not. Next...

3) SMACKING - The Welsh Assembly debates outlawing smacking in Wales : Yay! A story about Wales! What a shame that we still don't have any children though. Next...

4) INDYCAR RACING - The British racing driver Dan Wheldon dies in an IndyCar race in Vegas. Are you an IndyCar racing fan and why is it so dangerous? : A tragic death, undoubtedly, but my answers to your questions are "No" and "I have no idea".

The Jeremy Vine Show - changing nothing, every day

Complaint response 11/10/11

As predicted....


Reference CAS-1038878-SWNTCT

Thanks for contacting us regarding BBC Radio 2.

I understand that you were unhappy with the content of both the 'Jeremy Vine' show on the 6 October, and the 'Chris Evans' programme on the 10 and 11 October, as you felt they were advertising commercial products. I note you were unhappy with the segment on Steve Jobs and apple on 'Jeremy Vine' and mentions of Red Bull on 'Chris Evans'.

Whilst I appreciate your concerns, the BBC is prohibited from the terms of its Charter from advertising. Specifically we are not permitted to accept income or benefit financially by promoting the goods of outside companies, which we did not do for either of the instances you have raised. In both cases, the commercial products were mentioned as part of news stories, relating to the death of Steve Jobs and Red Bull Racing.

Steve Jobs is hailed as an innovator, as co-founder and former chief executive of US technology giant Apple. It is natural that any discussion on his death would include references to Apple and their impact on the world of technology.

On the 'Chris Evans' show, the references to Red Bull were made while discussing Red Bull Racing/Red Bull-Renault, who have won the constructors championship, as well as having their team member Sebastian Vettel winning the drivers championship. It would be impractical to discuss either Red-Bull or Apple in both these cases without giving their commercial name.

Indeed, the BBC Editorial Guidelines explain that the BBC needs to be “able to reflect the real world and this will involve referring to commercial products, organisations and services in our output”. It must be recognised that the world in which we now live contains brands and logos which can be seen generally, for example logos or brand names on electronic equipment or shop fronts in any high street.

Nevertheless, we’re guided by the feedback we receive and I can assure you I've registered your complaint on our audience log. This is a daily report of audience feedback that's made available to all BBC staff, including members of the BBC Executive Board, channel controllers and other senior managers.

The audience logs are seen as important documents that can help shape decisions about future programming and content.

Thanks for taking the time to contact us.

Kind Regards
Mxxx Rxxxxxx
BBC Complaints

Today's show 14/10/11

A quick scan of today's topics reveals that you have - again - missed a story that would have been of huge interest to me. It comes from your favourite paper, the Daily Mail, and goes like this (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2048250/Catholic-Veronica-Connolly-refuses-pay-BBC-licence-fee-Jerry-Springer-The-Opera.html):
'I'd rather go to jail than pay BBC a penny': Devout Catholic gran refuses to pay licence fee over 'deeply offensive' Jerry Springer - The Opera

A devout Catholic grandmother has told a court she would rather go to prison than pay her TV licence fee after the BBC aired the controversial 'Jerry Springer - The Opera'.
Wheelchair-bound Veronica Connolly, 54, from Birmingham, refuses to pay the her licence because she says she finds the show 'deeply offensive' as it 'ridicules Jesus and is a violation of her religious conscience'.

The judge made some interesting comments in his ruling (my emphasis):

Comment 1: However, dismissing her challenge, the judge, sitting with Mr Justice McCombe, said the licence fee is paid for 'general broadcasting services', not just the BBC, and if it were optional, hardly anyone would pay it.

It was the BBC's own Jeremy Paxman who said, "The idea of a tax on the ownership of a television belongs in the 1950s. Why not tax people for owning a washing machine to fund the manufacture of Persil? And how do you justify a tax on television ownership to finance production of material which will never appear on television? And what about material intended for television which is viewed through an iPlayer, for which no licence is required?" (http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/newsnight/2007/08/the_james_mactaggart_memorial_lecture.html).

Comment 2: Far from being a monopoly, the judge said the BBC has 'many competitors' and the neutrality of its mission to 'inform, educate and entertain' is underwritten by royal charter.

It was the BBC's own Andrew Marr who said, "The BBC is not impartial or neutral. It's a publicly funded, urban organisation with an abnormally large number of young people, ethnic minorities and gay people. It has a liberal bias not so much a party-political bias. It is better expressed as a cultural liberal bias" (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-411846/We-biased-admit-stars-BBC-News.html). My own experience of BBC broadcasts suggests to me that Mr Marr is closer to the truth than the judge.

Comment 3: The BBC's independence was underlined by the fact that it 'appears to be a thorn in the side' of whichever Government is in power...

Really? My recollection of the Blair/Brown Government is that the BBC would conduct an interview with an MP or Minister to expound their latest policy, followed by a newsreader telling us "a Tory MP said this was rubbish". Now, we are told "the Tory-led coalition government have announced <whatever>" followed by Ed Miliband being interviewed to tell us why everything the current government does is rubbish. Do you think my mind is playing tricks on me? I don't think so.

Needless to say, this raises the question in my mind as to who is correct: the judge, or two of the BBC's most-respected news reporters?

I was particularly pleased to read...

Mr Diamond said outside court after the hearing that Mrs Connolly will now take her case to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg.

I wish her the very best of luck.

What a shame you chose to ignore that story. I would have listened to that!

Instead we have these four topics, only one of which can be described as "news"...

1) JOURNALISTS - The Press Complaints Commission has a new chairman and there's an inquiry into the phone hacking scandal, but is that enough to clean up journalism? Do we need to license journalists - and strike them off if they misbehave? : No, yes, and yes.

Interesting to hear your chat with Ken this morning, and your very obvious biased view that a licensing scheme is NOT a good idea. What a surprise. Well Jeremy, there are those of us in The Real World that disagree with you. What chance that our opinions will be heard on your programme?

UK journalism is nothing more than a cess pit of lies, corruption, bias and misinformation. I and many others simply do not believe what we are told by The Meeja any more, and that is the REAL problem. I only read what the papers say in connection with writing to you every day (and please believe me when I tell you that I would never look at ANY newspaper output otherwise) so most of the journalism I encounter is through TV (hardly ever) or radio (force fed news every hour). And do you know what? It is rubbish! I want to be told facts and nothing more. Instead, all I hear are journalists talking to each other in a vain attempt to (a) convince me they know what they are talking about, (b) guess what has happened, (c) guess what might happen, and (d) justify their salary. I do not want to hear the opinion of "our BBC correspondent in Timbuktu", I do not need to see a rain-soaked bloke standing outside 10 Downing Street to tell me what Cameron has done today, and I certainly do not want to know what "people on the streets of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch think". I can form my own opinions, thank you, and I do not need to be told what to think.

So far the broadcast media seem to have escaped the phone hacking allegations, and so my suspicion is that you will exclude them from your discussion today and instead concentrate on phone hacking and the rapidly dwindling newspaper industry. Remember Jeremy that you are a "journalist" in the eyes of many, and there is an old saying about black pots and kettles that you may wish to bear in mind today.

You have promoted today's Oliver Letwin story on your Twitter feed today. Am I the only one who thought not what he was doing but "What was a Daily Mirror journalist hoping Mr Letwind would do, and why was he following him?". As I have told you before, I rarely look at The Story and prefer to look at the story behind The Story as it is often far more interesting.

Do you know what? Following your chat with Ken I'm going to listen to this as there is just a chance that it might be of interest to me. I doubt if you will change anything (heaven forefend!) but I want to listen to how you talk about, praise and criticise your own kind. I have, after all, been urging you to do that for a long time. Please be advised, however, that this is not an "issue that affects me".

2) CHINESE RESTAURANT - A Chinese restaurant may close following false rumours that it served dog meat. Find out more from The Telegraph : I've never had a meal in a Chinese restaurant but I hope that you will do your best to set the record straight for the unfortunate owners of the China Rose. But that doesn't make good radio though, does it? Next...

3) PORNOGRAPHY - After 1, how to talk to your children about pornography : How about "Bloomin' heck, have you seen the norks on that?". Or perhaps not. No children here Jeremy! Did you hear that dull thud? That was the Jeremy Vine show finally reaching Rock Bottom. Next...

4) TERRY WALTON - We catch up with Terry Walton on the programme allotment : And this doesn't make good radio either, does it?

The Jeremy Vine Show - all filler, no thriller

UPDATE:

Well, I listened. It was pretty lightweight, with JV batting off the "they should be licensed" callers without much comment. It was a bit of a cheap shot to say that Harold Shipman was a licensed GP but yet committed many murders.

Kelvin Mackenzie was one of the two stooges that JV had on the phone, and I was pleased to hear him say that journalism is not a profession. I'd agree with that.

As I suspected he would, JV concentrated on the printed media and didn't discuss TV or radio broadcasting at all.

He did say "I'd have to get a licence in order to speak to you". We can only hope that the qualification examination is rigorous, doesn't include use of apostrophes and that nicking stories from the Daily Mail causes an automatic fail.

Once again the point is missed and gallops off in to the sunset, and I am reminded why I don't listen.

Today's show 13/10/11

I'm very busy today, so briefly...

Good to see that your favourite paper the Daily Mail is perhaps setting a trend that other printed and broadcast media should follow (http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2011/oct/12/daily-mail-corrections-column):
Daily Mail to launch corrections column

The Daily Mail will introduce a corrections and clarifications column on page 2 of the paper next week, its editor-in-chief, Paul Dacre, has revealed.
No other tabloid runs a regular column of that kind, although many upmarket papers do so.

Perhaps Radio 2 should do something similar as anybody who heard the 5pm news broadcast on 25th May will still be thinking that a jet engine can have "molten lava slopping around" inside it. I've just checked outside and there really are some pigs preparing for take-off.

So, how are you planning to tempt to stay with Radio 2 at 12 today? Let's see...

1) UNEMPLOYMENT - Unemployment rises to 2.57 million with another 114,000 joining the dole queue. We bring someone devastated after just losing their job together with someone who has been unemployed for a while and will give them advice on how to cope : Fortunately, and I fully realise how lucky I am, I have never been unemployed - other than for a short period in 2002 when I chose to be. Next...

2) LIBYA CONFLICT - In the Libyan town of Sirte, the remnants of Gaddafi’s battered army are still fighting to the last. What makes soldiers keep fighting when it’s totally obvious they’ve been defeated and it’s all over? : Good question! My answer would be "They have a brainwashed and fanatical dedication to their leader as they believe everything he says to be the truth". A bit like some of your listeners, maybe? Conjecture and speculation - where would you be without them? Next...

3) ELDERLY CARE - In a devastating report, the Care Quality Commission says the standard of care for the elderly in NHS hospitals is an utter disgrace : The first sentence of your linked BBC news page says all I need to know: "Too many hospitals in England are falling short in the most basic care they are giving elderly patients, inspectors say.". England - not Wales, or Scotland, or Northern Ireland. Next...

4) BEING A MUM - Are you a mum who struggles with the competing pressures of childcare, work, relationships and just finding time for yourself? : I haven't checked for a few days but I am pretty sure that I am still not a woman, and with that information I think nature dictates that I am not a mother.

 

6 Music it is then.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - radio for a divided nation

Complaint response about JV's use of Twitter

Unbelievable....


Thanks for your recent e-mails regarding Jeremy Vine.

With regards to Jeremy’s usage of Twitter, the BBC is comfortable that he can manage his time effectively. The BBC wishes to encourage interactivity on all platforms and we are aware of compliance issues and as media evolves we are looking at how we use that interactivity.

With regards to his recent tweet, what was published was the script from the opening of the programme, as read on air, so it was in the public domain and there is no conflict with Twitter. It was a question designed to initiate discussion and was written by the producer in the context of the history of the Chief of Staff of the IRA. The BBC is quite comfortable that it was acceptable.

I trust this explains the BBC’s view on your complaints and thanks again for taking the time to contact the BBC.

Yours Sincerely

Axxxxx  Mxxxxx
Complaints Advisor
BBC Complaints

Today's show 12/10/11

Welcome back! I get far more satisfaction from my daily missive when you are there, rather than one of your unfortunate stand-ins. Is it a deliberate policy that they get stitched-up with some utterly appalling stories while you are away?

Paddy managed to include a story nicked from the Daily Mail on all three days. I am sure that he will appreciate your congratulations on that one. And good to see too that links to newspaper web sites have reappeared on your own web page. Perhaps my complaint did make a difference, after all.

But next time you go away, can we have somebody else stand-in for you? I've already suggested Noel Gallagher to you, and reading and listening to what he has said just in the last day shows that he really is the man for the job. I am told that on last night's Newsnight he said, "We were working class. There’s a level beneath us now. The can’t-be-bothered-working class.". And I heard him this morning on Radio 2's 08:00 news talking about an invitation by Simon Cowell to be an X-Factor judge when he said, "... and I wouldn't want any of those people coming around my house and crying in my kitchen". This is the kind of attitude I would *LOVE* to hear on your show, rather than the patronising faux sympathy that your listeners get at the moment.

One Daily Mail story that Paddy missed was this fascinating piece about our beloved BBC (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2047283/Deaf-viewers-complain-standard-BBC-subtitles.html):
BBC turns Ed Miliband into Ed Miller Band: Deaf viewers complain about standard of corporation's subtitles

During the Queen Mother’s funeral, a solemn call for silence became ‘we will now have a moment’s violence’.

Well, it made me laugh.

Can I guess what the documentary was that you were recording? Was it a report on the declining standards of news reporting in this country and the consequent disbelief by the UK public? Perhaps it was the story of somebody who didn't bother buying a TV licence, ignored the threatening letters, told the henchmen to get off his property and then found that nothing happened? How about a simple and concise explanation of how an oil-fired central heating system works? Or why, after all of the media "we're all going to die" hysteria, nothing has been heard from the same media about the Fukushima nuclear power plant for months now? Oh, no, hang on... I've got it! It was entitled "Howard Schultz - Wake Up And Smell The Starbucks Coffee" and was an insight in to that great man and the company that he runs. Yes, that'll be it, I'm sure.

You'll be interested to know, I'm sure, that my blog is only two views short of 8000 page views. That is EIGHT THOUSAND. I'm very proud of that. I hope you are too. Readership is boosted, of course, by my mentions of it on your Twitter feed (I get a LOT of readers from your Twitter account) and by my regular readers promoting it on forums to which they subscribe. For example, my good friend Stonyground did exactly that a couple of days ago (http://www.countingcats.com/?p=10969) which elicited this well-considered response from Westerlyman:
I also listen Radio 2 quite often especially when I am driving but, like Stoneyground, I cannot bear the Jeremy Vine show. Unlike you Stoneyground I am now unable to even listen to it as I fear that I will have a serious RTA when I smash my fist through the windscreen through apoplexy. I usually switch to Classic fm which calms me down.
I have no idea whether Jeremy Vine is a man whose company I would enjoy or not but he is such a snivelling leftie tic on his radio show that, unless this is all an act in order to advance his career, I seriously doubt it. My biggest gripe with him, and most other BBC presenters, is that they appear to live in a separate universe from me. JV appears to have trouble listening to any kind of nuanced argument. He can ask someone a question. An intelligent and detailed answer is given and JV summarises and by doing so demonstrates that he has usually missed the point completely. Its either this or deliberate obfuscation when something is said that is ‘not acceptable’. Arrrrrgh!

Beautifully written. You see Jeremy, it really is not just me!

Today's issue that affects me: What IS that smell?

Moving on then to today's reasons to switch to 6 Music at 12...

1) CRIMINAL INJURIES COMPENSATION - A policeman in Newcastle has been found guilty of multiple rapes. A number of the victims are not eligible for Criminal Injuries Compensation because they have criminal convictions of their own. Women’s groups say this is not fair. Find out more from the Sunderland Echo : From what I read, the CICA are following the rules by which they have to abide, a bit like the BBC's Freedom of Information Department abiding by the rule that says they won't say anything about BBC programmes. So, what are you going to do? Start a campaign to get the rule changed, or just talk about it? Now let me think.... Next...

2) EUROMILLIONS WINNERS - If you won £100million on the Lottery, surely you would tick the no publicity box? : Yes, I would. I guess it would help if I had ever bought a lottery ticket though. Next...

3) WHEELIE BIN THEFT - Has your wheelie bin been stolen? Reports around the country say there have been increased thefts of council bins : I've just been outside - in the rain - and checked, and both of ours (green for household waste, brown for garden waste) are still there. Phew! You had me worried for a moment. So, these "reports from around the country" - where are they? A quick search for "wheelie bin thefts" gives me details of a product that clamps two bins together, supposedly making them more difficult to steal, but the only "theft reports" I can find all seem to be from some time ago with several from 2007 and one from December 2010. While acknowledging that there is a problem, is this what passes for headline news on your programme? Next...

4) PLAYGROUND ENTREPRENEUR - Finally, the 12 year old who was suspended from school for selling chocolate and fizzy drinks to his classmates. Were the school right or could he be the next Lord Sugar? : Lord Sugar, fizzy drinks, chocolate ... tee hee, very good. If your listeners decided that the school is wrong, is the school bound by this decision to change their rules and allow him to continue? I thought not.

The Jeremy Vine Show - deliberate obfuscation, every day