09/04/10 and 10/04/10

Hi Jeremy,

Remember me? I'm back! I bet you're pleased about that. I've had a couple of weeks off while I do some stuff and reassess what I want to do with regard to your programme and my blog. But you need not worry: This festering sore is not going to go away just yet. Instead, I am going to email you (and update my blog) as and when I can rather than trying to do it as your programme starts. Frankly, I have got better things to do than tell you what I think of your programme, and this is not helped by the incompetence and tardiness of whoever it is (who is it?) who is responsible for updating your show web page every day. In my recent second appeal letter to the BBC Trust I have promised to stop filing complaints about how late these updates can be some days, so my best course of action is to stop waiting for them and write this rubbish later in the day and after somebody has done the job that I pay them to do.

All this means, of course, is that I will no longer be telling you "I won't be listening today because..." and future messages will tell you simply what I think of the topics you decided to discuss on previous shows. The advantages to me are:
 - no time constraint
 - the web page will have been updated
 - I can have a good laugh at any relevant bits by using iPlayer

A win-win-win situation, I think!

I wonder what I missed while I was having a break? Well, actually I couldn't care less what I missed to be honest, but I do know that I missed Feltz talking (talking? or fawning?) to Galloway. So that was a result then. I cannot think of two people I would rather never hear ever again.

I bet I didn't miss you discussing this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2126040/BBC-bias-Is-Corporation-representing-British-nation.html

The BBC has a duty to represent the British nation...but is it doing so?

There's an interesting dialogue taking place on the internet.  It can be seen in blogs, chatrooms and on social network sites and it runs something like this: why is the BBC TV news output so selective in what - and who - it chooses to cover? It's fair to say, though, that there exists an angry crowd of people pounding on their keyboards and some of what they have to say about our Great British institution is less than endearing. Just as importantly, I feel, is the fact that dissenting voices have increased in volume and intensity over the past couple of years and show no sign of abating.

Perhaps I should get a job at the Daily Mail? Or perhaps not ... <shudder>

And then there was this one:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9189380/BBC-accused-of-TV-licence-rip-off.html

BBC accused of TV licence rip-off

The BBC is over-charging millions of people for their licence fees by selling "annual" permits that only last 11 months, it can be disclosed. The corporation has been making up to £25m a year through the little-known loophole, which has been condemned as "unfair" and a "rip off". Any viewer buying a TV licence for the first time is charged £145.50 for a year-long permit. But under current arrangements, the new licence expires 12 months from the first day of the month in which it is purchased. This means that an ‘annual’ licence bought on April 30 2012 will actually run out at midnight on March 31 2013.

The BBC? Ripping off the people who fund it? Who'd have thought such a thing could ever happen. Oh, hang on, silly me.

And then, of course, there is possibly the biggest organised cover-up of criminal behaviour ever seen in the UK:
http://order-order.com/2012/04/10/britains-biggest-establishment-cover-up-conspiracy-thousands-of-crimes-committed-by-over-300-journalists-protected-from-exposure-by-a-judge-and-newspaper-editors/

In the course of the Inquiry Leveson has received prima facie evidence of some thousands of crimes committed by hundreds of journalists. The Operation Motorman files gathered by the Information Commissioner expose a culture of criminality in the day-to-day functioning of the media. The corrupting of police and other offices of the crown was a matter of course not only at the News of the World and other Murdoch titles, it was also the case at the Mail and the Mirror newspaper groups as well. The silence on this issue from these newspapers is because they fear a circular firing squad. Leveson has the evidence required to initiate criminal actions and civil actions by thousands of victims of crimes committed by newspaper journalists. Guido challenged Leveson to his face to publish the evidence, thus allowing the victims of industrial scale illegal invasions of privacy to get justice. Leveson claimed it was difficult nine years on. Guido understands that there have been two applications to Leveson to release the Operation Motorman files. The applications, heard in private, were refused. So in Britain we have a situation where the judge charged with investigating the crimes carried out by the media is covering up their crimes. There is an overwhelming public interest in the victims getting justice.

Go on then, discuss that one day. I dare you. Journalism in this country is facing its biggest crisis with huge swathes of the population simply not believing a word that ANY journalist says, including you. So try and explain why your journalist bretheren should not be shot in front of their families. I'd listen. To put it in simple terms: JOURNALISTS ARE SCUM!

One thing I didn't miss was you saying last Friday, "You can tweet me at @TheJeremyVine and we can discuss these topics out of hours". Really? Can I really discuss this stuff with you? If so, let's give it a go. Oh, and you'll need to unblock my Twitter account first ... won't you.

Let's start the day-by-day analysis by looking at yesterday's programme (Monday 9th April). Working on a Bank Holiday ... I can't remember you doing that before!

1) BOAT RACE DISRUPTION - The protestor who disrupted this year's Boat Race has now been charged. How do we avoid similar incidents at the Olympics or the Jubilee celebrations? : My interest in anything sporty is legend and as close to non-existent as it is possible to be. BUT, had I have been in one of those boats on Saturday I would have made sure that this idiot had got an accidental clout from my oar before the race was stopped. I'm just listening to this on iPlayer and waiting patiently for you to come up with a concrete proposal ... ah, here we go: "If this person had been running in to a Presidential motorcade he would have been shot" and "If he thought we would have been shot for swimming in the water he wouldn't have done it". An interesting suggestion Jeremy, that'll boost the TV ratings. And the security expert you interviewed said "There is no way you are going to prevent it". This was then followed by some inane comments from your inane listeners (shooting with an underwater harpoon, for example). And guess what? Other than shooting the person involved, you failed to come up with any useful suggestion. I bet Teresa May was devastated. OK, enough of iPlayer now. Remind me, what was the point of this discussion again? Next...

2) RAUNCHY MUSIC VIDEOS - Should raunchy music videos get an 18 rating? : What, and deny legions of teenage boys 30 seconds of pleasure? You are such a spoilsport. Next...

3) DOMESTIC SERVICE - Was one of your parents or grandparents in domestic service? : No, they were not. I love questions like that. Next...

4) ANIMAL IN HEADLIGHTS - A driver writes off his Ferrari trying to avoid a hedgehog in the road. Do you swerve when you see an animal in your headlights? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : Stop, yes. Swerve, no. We get all sorts of wildlife on the roads around here: hedgehogs, sheep, rabbits, cows, deer, badgers, foxes, owls. I've managed to avoid them all. And good to see the Mail is still providing garbage for your programme, especially when it involves a story from Germany. Was there no UK news then?

OK, that's one day down so perhaps I should do today's show too. I did notice at about 1:30 that the web site hadn't been updated. Some things never change, but that particular failing of the BBC is no longer an issue ... so here we go...

1) EXTRADITION - The European Court of Human Rights rules that five terrorism suspects - including the radical Islamic cleric, Abu Hamza - can be extradited to the US : I hear that Guantanamo Bay is nice at this time of year. An interesting tweet from Stewart Jackson MP appeared on your feed earlier: Went head to head with human rights lawyer @TheJeremyVine show. Out of touch & publicly funded (mostly). Public have human right to be safe. Out of touch and publicly funded? Who WAS he talking about? Next...

2) CHARITY FUNDRAISERS - Volunteer fundraisers in Aldeburgh withdraw their support from the Macmillan cancer charity because they say the organisation hired door-to-door collectors who used high-pressure techniques. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : Living in a rural area as I do, the number of "cold" door-to-door callers that we suffer per month can probably be counted on one foot of a three-toed sloth. A well-known double-glazing company who tell me I should "fit the best" are regular if infrequent visitors, but even they are starting to understand the meaning of "Go away, and get off my property". I find that works quite nicely. It does not make economic sense for charitable organisations to target this area, and any charity I choose to support would not do such a thing (and I would soon cease to support them if they did). I find it amazing that some people allow themselves to be ambushed in the street and are then conned in to signing a direct debit for a montly payment to a charity not necessarily of their choice. Oh, hang on... I remember you saying to Zoe earlier today that this happened to you. Says it all really. Next...

3) TITANIC - One hundred years ago today the Titanic set sail from Southampton. Do you have a personal connection with someone who was on that fateful voyage? : No. Instead of reading all that "Night To Remember" stuff, get yourself a copy of "Titanic : The Ship That Never Sank" and a copy of the Board Of Trade enquiry in to the sinking. You might learn something. Next...

4) HAIRDRESSERS - Hairdressers are angered by EU proposals to encourage hairdressers to have regular ‘social dialogue’ to encourage ‘mental wellbeing’ in the workplace. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : And the Mail again ... bless! Sporting as I do a fine head of skin, my barber (he is not a hairdresser and would be offended by the term if used to describe him) does not take long to do a trim around the edges every couple of months. Our conversation is usually driven by me, and I have often caused a chuckle among other waiting customers when I have asked him "Have you been anywhere nice on holiday then?". Our bi-monthly meetings usually end with a genuinely warm and friendly handshake as I give him £7 and remind him that he has only done half a job while he tells me to get the hell out of his shop, and don't come back until the next time. He is a top bloke, and he does a fine job.

 

So there we go. That was fun! Let's do it again soon.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - shooting is the only possible solution

Today's show 06/03/12

Good morning. Here is the news from the BBC:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4172233/BBC-blows-13m-on-TV-licence-threat-letters.html

BBC blows £13m on TV licence threat letters

THE BBC was blasted last night for spending £13.5MILLION on chasing unpaid licence fees over the past four years. It has sent out a staggering 85million warning letters — dubbed "threatograms". The huge bill, with each reminder now costing 18.3p in postage, was footed by licence fee payers who stump up £145.50 a year to watch telly.

All part of the unique way in which WE fund the BBC, of course.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9124453/BBC-refuses-to-sign-pledge-to-get-more-women-on-screen.html

BBC refuses to sign pledge to get more women on screen

The BBC is the only major broadcaster to refuse to sign a pledge to increase the number of women in heavyweight roles on screen – despite Mark Thompson admitting that the corporation "got it wrong on women" in the past. However, the BBC – which has recently admitted it does not have enough women in serious news and current affairs roles – said it would not sign up because of its duty to represent all licence fee holders. A BBC spokesman said the corporation was "sympathetic to the aims of the Broadcast pledge" but the licence fee means it is unable to endorse campaigns.

I can only take this to mean that the BBC considers that women do not represent licence fee holders, or that women don't need to buy a TV licence. And I can think of many, many campaigns that the BBC has endorsed over the years....!

But hush my mouth! In this particular environment the BBC is absolutely sacrosanct and can do no wrong in any way. Silly me. Instead we have this...

1) BUYING BRITISH - Ed Miliband says it’s time we supported British manufacturing. Would you go out of your way to buy British or are you solely driven by quality and value for money?: It depends what I am buying, but generally my answers would have to be no, and no. Should I call in and tell you that? Miliband has been all over the BBC today promoting this ... almost as if the BBC were endorsing a campaign. Just out of curiousity, what makes you think I would do anything that multi-millionaire Ed Miliband told me to do? He makes me laugh though: http://awkwardedmilibandmoments.tumblr.com/ Next...

2) CHILD PORNOGRAPHY - A dad from Hull accidentally downloaded child pornography. He immediately told the police, but the police had said they need to investigate and he can’t be left alone with his child for many months. Find out more from the Hull Daily Mail : I am assuming this has been reported correctly, but there was no mention by you on Ken's show that you would be talking to the Chief Commissioner of Humberside Police to find out what is going on. From that I can only assume that you won't be helping this chap. Changing nothing, as usual? Come on Jeremy, get to the bottom of this and make a difference for once! Next...

3) CHILD BENEFIT - The government wants to cut child benefit for high rate tax payers who earn over £42,475 a year. Is this fair? : We still have no children, we don't earn over £42,475 a year, we don't get any benefits, and that is not fair. Shall I call in about this one too? Next...

4) BENGHAZI WAR GRAVES - And finally, the war graves in a British cemetery in Benghazi, Libya, were desecrated over the weekend. Does this anger you because your father or grandfather fought in the north African campaign? : My father was in North Africa during the World War Two and he is alive and well, thank you. I see your usual striving for accuracy is meeting its regular standard: If these graves were "desecrated over the weekend" how is it that James Delingpole posted a link to the video last Friday? (http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100140857/cameron-vindicated-grateful-libyan-people-thank-britain-for-their-liberation-from-gadaffi/) By the way, did you hear that Queen Victoria has died?

The Jeremy Vine Show - our news is anything but new

Today's show 02/11/11

Another quick one today...

A quick question first: You have a "contributors" page on your show web site (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/jeremy-vine/jeremys-contributors/) so why isn't Galloway on it? He does, after all, appear more than any of the contributors shown.

Also, valued blog reader Will would like you to have a discussion about the BBC's move of many programmes to Salford (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8857155/The-BBCs-outlook-for-Salford-is-sunny.html) and, in particular, why staff with homes down south can claim up to £1,900 a month for as long as two years to rent near Salford and shuttle to and fro each week. I'd listen to that too.

I'd also listen to a discussion about whether Kylie Minogue is worth £1million of our licence fee money (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8850910/BBC-offers-Kylie-Minogue-1-million-to-star-as-judge-in-new-singing-show.html) to judge on the BBC's equivalent of the X-Factor ... whatever that is. Thank goodness for the Discovery and History channels.

And I have no doubt at all that you have four good reasons for me to switch to 6 Music at 12 today...

1) TURMOIL AT ST PAUL'S - The turmoil continues at St Paul's Cathedral. Are you a Christian who thinks the church should just get tough with the protestors, or let the camp remain? : Am I Christian? Honestly, no I am not. My scepticism for all things I am told by those who talk at me rather than those that talk to me forces me to be an agnostic. However, I respect the viewpoint of others and what they wish to believe. Reading your question again, I think that means that I cannot express a view on whether the camp should remain or not, but then it is 250 miles from here so it doesn't matter to me really. I do find it interesting that the Archbishop of Canterbury is trying to dictate this country's future taxation policies. Who voted for him? And how about devoting 30 minutes to discuss the taxable status of the Church of England some time? Next...

2) WINTER FUEL ALLOWANCE - We speak to someone who is redistributing the winter fuel payments of the wealthy to youngsters who can't afford to heat their homes : I don't receive winter fuel payments as I am too young, and I am not a youngster as I am too old. Wouldn't it be easier to cut the cost of fuel across the board and come up with a system that allows those of us who do not qualify for *anything* to just pay more? Or perhaps not. Next...

3) EUROSCEPTICS - Ten years ago, critics called them mad, swivel-eyed Little Englanders. Has the European economic crisis fully vindicated the eurosceptics? : As Dave Hester would say: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-raEW_nYcb0 Next...

4) NAKED PHOTOS - A man is jailed for sending sexually explicit pictures of his girlfriend to her friends and family. Should you always refuse if a partner wants to take naked photographs of you? : I've found the waders, the ball bearings and a tub of Swarfega and I'm just making three buckets of custard so I'll get my wife to take some of me when she comes home, and I'll send them to you later. I'd value your opinion.

The Jeremy Vine Show - telling Radio 2 listeners what to think, every day.

Today's show 31/10/11

Good, you're back, and the dull, dismal and despicable Ms Feltz has been banished back to the obscurity of Radio 2's night time coverage. Thank goodness for that!

Her hosting of your programme was not without incident or amusement, of course. How could it be any other way? I have to thank my regular blog reader and valued contributor Gill for bringing this fabulous article from the Daily Mirror to my attention:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/celebs/news/2011/10/25/vanessa-feltz-goes-off-air-and-insults-travel-reporter-sally-boazman-on-radio-2-115875-23512635/

Vanessa Feltz goes off air and 'insults' travel reporter Sally Boazman on Radio 2

FORGET the TV battle between Strictly and X Factor, yesterday’s broadcast highlight was Vanessa Feltz’s embarrassing off-air “moment”.
The DJ, 49, was covering for Jeremy Vine on Radio 2 and left her mic on while playing a record.
Sounding incredibly bored, listeners heard her ask: “So, what happens next? I talk to, um, Sally, [travel reporter Sally Boazman] blah, blah, blah, she does the travel…?”
Yet when she officially went back on air, she chirped enthusiastically: “And one of the perks of this job is that I get to talk to Sally! Hello!”
Comedy platinum.

Comedy platinum indeed. Well, it made me laugh, as did some of the comments about Feltz that appeared on Radio 2's facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/BBCR2) when she wasted her Give An Hour item to be trained how to use the internet, apparently. Comments included:

 - Just what the internet needs, another moron.
 - Feltz proudly claimed yesterday "I have never sent an email in my life". I have a vision of her (... shudder ...) scratching out a note on velum using a quill, but how does she get it to her BBC managers? Carrier pigeon? Liveried footman? I think we should be told.
 - shocked that Radio 2 cannot get anyone better, for surely anyone would be better than her.
 - Hang on a minute ... if she doesn't do email and is not online, how come she has a Twitter account? More lies from the BBC! http://twitter.com/#!/vanessafeltz
 - My goldfish has more personality than the big V. With a bit of luck it will live longer too.
 - At the end of the day- she must have been the last possible choice to stand in, she is truly shocking.
 - Why is Vanessa Feltz (still) on radio 2 - makes me switch off until she goes on holiday - give the job to someone else - please

So, not a popular choice then! I have no doubt that public opinion will - as always - be completely ignored by the BBC.

It was on 21st October that I awoke to Radio 2's 08:00 news only to be on the receipt of an attempted brainwashing exercise when I was told - yet again - that the world is doomed from the affects of man-made global warming (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-15373071), yet these findings seem to have been discredited over the weekend (http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100114292/lying-cheating-climate-scientists-caught-lying-cheating-again/ and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2055191/Scientists-said-climate-change-sceptics-proved-wrong-accused-hiding-truth-colleague.html and http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2055123/Climate-change-scientist-Jeffrey-Gleason-cited-Al-Gore-face-lie-detector-test.html and http://order-order.com/2011/10/30/climate-change-global-flatlining/) yet the BBC has - as usual - chosen to ignore these revelations. I'm surprised that you didn't go with this one today, as it appears in the Daily Mail twice!

The BBC is also in the news again, and conveniently ignored by your programme today. I found this article in the Daily Mail (again Jeremy, come on!) of great interest:http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2055203/BBC-boss-Diane-Coyle-bias-row-second-job-advising-Labour.html

BBC boss in bias row as she takes second job advising Labour

Diane Coyle is paid £77,005 to work two-and-a-half days a week
The BBC was last night at the centre of a row over political bias after it was revealed that the vice-chair of its governing trust is advising the Labour Party.
Diane Coyle, deputy to chairman Chris Patten, is working as an aide to shadow Business Secretary Chuka Umunna – despite official guidance that warned her accepting the job could be inappropriate.
Ms Coyle, an economist, is paid £77,005 to work two-and-a-half days a week for the BBC Trust.

£77005 for two and half days a week? Got any jobs going? I could do that.

The links between the BBC and the Labour Party are well-known and acknowledged by everybody ... except anybody who works at the BBC, that is. One only has to look at your very own photo page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/jeremy-vine/photos/guests/) to see the pro-Labour bias that you have. There are 18 photos there showing your good self with the following guests:
1: Ed Miliband (LABOUR)
2: David Cameron (TORY)
3: Gordon Brown (LABOUR), presumably when he still thought you were a nice chap!
4: John Prescott (LABOUR)
5: Jack Straw (LABOUR)
6: John Prescott again (LABOUR), why two pictures? We know what he looks like!
7: Jacqui Smith (LABOUR)
8: Boris Johnson (TORY)
9: Neil Kinnock (LABOUR)
10: Martin Lewis (Top Bloke!)
11: Billy Ocean (biggest-selling black British artist of all time) - not sure why "black" is important.
12: David Miliband (LABOUR)
13: Drogbar and Willis (footballer and musician)
14: Dr Rowan Williams
15: Paul Weller (not smiling, as usual)
16: Richard Brunson (wasn't he a copper?)
17: Rolf Harris (LEGEND)
18: Ed Balls (LABOUR)

Discounting the non-politicos, that gives two pictures of Tories and nine of Labourites. So, is this a case of Tories not being invited or not wanting to appear on your programme, or is it just maintaining the BBC's pro-Labour bias? Or has your camera broken?

You won't be discussing that today, of course, so what are you going to depress your poor listeners with then? Let's see....

1) VIOLENT PORN - The killer of Joanna Yeates, Vincent Tabak, was obsessed by violent pornographic websites. How destructive is this material? : Aaahhh... pornography. A stock-in-trade of the Jeremy Vine Show and just what Radio 2 needs at lunchtime. Where would your programme be without it? So what research have you done? Or did you get somebody else to do the research so that they could tell you about it, like Penthouse magazine (October 14th)? The whole subject does not appeal so I'll skip this, if you don't mind. Next...

2) JIMMY SAVILE - Did Jim Fix It for you? We discuss people's recollections of the broadcaster and tireless charity fundraiser, Sir Jimmy Savile : I can remember him with black hair, and with it half black and half blond. However, and even as a child, I rarely watched Jim'll Fix It and could not stand him when he was on Radio 1. While I acknowledge the good work he did for various charities and hospitals I can honestly say that I was never a fan. I did watch the programme that Louis Theroux made about him, and that told me all I needed to know. I guess I could have written: Dear Jim, Please fix it for me to get the Jeremy Vine Show (or any equivalent) off Radio 2, for ever. Next...

3) DIABETES - After 1, in our health special with Dr Sarah Jarvis, are you worried about losing your driving job because you've got diabetes? : My driving job? You obviously know something about me that I do not! Perhaps you are confusing me with somebody else. Next...

4) CANOEISTS AND ANGLERS - And finally, canoeists and anglers are at war in the River Avon in Hampshire. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : This is nothing new. I used to live near the River Severn in Shropshire and the same arguments arose there. So which side are you going to ridicule today? As neither a canoeist or an angler this item is of no interest to me.

You'll love this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3q2iZuU5WM

Unfortunately you are not mentioned, but Radcliffe and Maconie are. It also seems to miss the point that most of the TV shows mentioned were made 30 years ago...

The Jeremy Vine Show - better than Feltz, but only just

Today's show 14/10/11

A quick scan of today's topics reveals that you have - again - missed a story that would have been of huge interest to me. It comes from your favourite paper, the Daily Mail, and goes like this (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2048250/Catholic-Veronica-Connolly-refuses-pay-BBC-licence-fee-Jerry-Springer-The-Opera.html):
'I'd rather go to jail than pay BBC a penny': Devout Catholic gran refuses to pay licence fee over 'deeply offensive' Jerry Springer - The Opera

A devout Catholic grandmother has told a court she would rather go to prison than pay her TV licence fee after the BBC aired the controversial 'Jerry Springer - The Opera'.
Wheelchair-bound Veronica Connolly, 54, from Birmingham, refuses to pay the her licence because she says she finds the show 'deeply offensive' as it 'ridicules Jesus and is a violation of her religious conscience'.

The judge made some interesting comments in his ruling (my emphasis):

Comment 1: However, dismissing her challenge, the judge, sitting with Mr Justice McCombe, said the licence fee is paid for 'general broadcasting services', not just the BBC, and if it were optional, hardly anyone would pay it.

It was the BBC's own Jeremy Paxman who said, "The idea of a tax on the ownership of a television belongs in the 1950s. Why not tax people for owning a washing machine to fund the manufacture of Persil? And how do you justify a tax on television ownership to finance production of material which will never appear on television? And what about material intended for television which is viewed through an iPlayer, for which no licence is required?" (http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/newsnight/2007/08/the_james_mactaggart_memorial_lecture.html).

Comment 2: Far from being a monopoly, the judge said the BBC has 'many competitors' and the neutrality of its mission to 'inform, educate and entertain' is underwritten by royal charter.

It was the BBC's own Andrew Marr who said, "The BBC is not impartial or neutral. It's a publicly funded, urban organisation with an abnormally large number of young people, ethnic minorities and gay people. It has a liberal bias not so much a party-political bias. It is better expressed as a cultural liberal bias" (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-411846/We-biased-admit-stars-BBC-News.html). My own experience of BBC broadcasts suggests to me that Mr Marr is closer to the truth than the judge.

Comment 3: The BBC's independence was underlined by the fact that it 'appears to be a thorn in the side' of whichever Government is in power...

Really? My recollection of the Blair/Brown Government is that the BBC would conduct an interview with an MP or Minister to expound their latest policy, followed by a newsreader telling us "a Tory MP said this was rubbish". Now, we are told "the Tory-led coalition government have announced <whatever>" followed by Ed Miliband being interviewed to tell us why everything the current government does is rubbish. Do you think my mind is playing tricks on me? I don't think so.

Needless to say, this raises the question in my mind as to who is correct: the judge, or two of the BBC's most-respected news reporters?

I was particularly pleased to read...

Mr Diamond said outside court after the hearing that Mrs Connolly will now take her case to the European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg.

I wish her the very best of luck.

What a shame you chose to ignore that story. I would have listened to that!

Instead we have these four topics, only one of which can be described as "news"...

1) JOURNALISTS - The Press Complaints Commission has a new chairman and there's an inquiry into the phone hacking scandal, but is that enough to clean up journalism? Do we need to license journalists - and strike them off if they misbehave? : No, yes, and yes.

Interesting to hear your chat with Ken this morning, and your very obvious biased view that a licensing scheme is NOT a good idea. What a surprise. Well Jeremy, there are those of us in The Real World that disagree with you. What chance that our opinions will be heard on your programme?

UK journalism is nothing more than a cess pit of lies, corruption, bias and misinformation. I and many others simply do not believe what we are told by The Meeja any more, and that is the REAL problem. I only read what the papers say in connection with writing to you every day (and please believe me when I tell you that I would never look at ANY newspaper output otherwise) so most of the journalism I encounter is through TV (hardly ever) or radio (force fed news every hour). And do you know what? It is rubbish! I want to be told facts and nothing more. Instead, all I hear are journalists talking to each other in a vain attempt to (a) convince me they know what they are talking about, (b) guess what has happened, (c) guess what might happen, and (d) justify their salary. I do not want to hear the opinion of "our BBC correspondent in Timbuktu", I do not need to see a rain-soaked bloke standing outside 10 Downing Street to tell me what Cameron has done today, and I certainly do not want to know what "people on the streets of Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch think". I can form my own opinions, thank you, and I do not need to be told what to think.

So far the broadcast media seem to have escaped the phone hacking allegations, and so my suspicion is that you will exclude them from your discussion today and instead concentrate on phone hacking and the rapidly dwindling newspaper industry. Remember Jeremy that you are a "journalist" in the eyes of many, and there is an old saying about black pots and kettles that you may wish to bear in mind today.

You have promoted today's Oliver Letwin story on your Twitter feed today. Am I the only one who thought not what he was doing but "What was a Daily Mirror journalist hoping Mr Letwind would do, and why was he following him?". As I have told you before, I rarely look at The Story and prefer to look at the story behind The Story as it is often far more interesting.

Do you know what? Following your chat with Ken I'm going to listen to this as there is just a chance that it might be of interest to me. I doubt if you will change anything (heaven forefend!) but I want to listen to how you talk about, praise and criticise your own kind. I have, after all, been urging you to do that for a long time. Please be advised, however, that this is not an "issue that affects me".

2) CHINESE RESTAURANT - A Chinese restaurant may close following false rumours that it served dog meat. Find out more from The Telegraph : I've never had a meal in a Chinese restaurant but I hope that you will do your best to set the record straight for the unfortunate owners of the China Rose. But that doesn't make good radio though, does it? Next...

3) PORNOGRAPHY - After 1, how to talk to your children about pornography : How about "Bloomin' heck, have you seen the norks on that?". Or perhaps not. No children here Jeremy! Did you hear that dull thud? That was the Jeremy Vine show finally reaching Rock Bottom. Next...

4) TERRY WALTON - We catch up with Terry Walton on the programme allotment : And this doesn't make good radio either, does it?

The Jeremy Vine Show - all filler, no thriller

UPDATE:

Well, I listened. It was pretty lightweight, with JV batting off the "they should be licensed" callers without much comment. It was a bit of a cheap shot to say that Harold Shipman was a licensed GP but yet committed many murders.

Kelvin Mackenzie was one of the two stooges that JV had on the phone, and I was pleased to hear him say that journalism is not a profession. I'd agree with that.

As I suspected he would, JV concentrated on the printed media and didn't discuss TV or radio broadcasting at all.

He did say "I'd have to get a licence in order to speak to you". We can only hope that the qualification examination is rigorous, doesn't include use of apostrophes and that nicking stories from the Daily Mail causes an automatic fail.

Once again the point is missed and gallops off in to the sunset, and I am reminded why I don't listen.

Today's show 17/05/11

Tuesday, and let's see what delights you have in store for your listeners today:

1) THE QUEEN'S FIRST VISIT TO THE REPUBLIC OF IRELAND - The Queen starts an historic visit to Ireland today. Should she apologise for what some Irish Republicans still regard as seven hundred years of oppression by the English crown? : Oooohhh... a vote. Somewhere somebody is sweating over a keyboard as they write the Queen's "Hello, I'm here" speech...

Script Writer 1: Which one are you doing, the one with the apology, or the one without?

Script Writer 2: Oh, I don't know. Which would you prefer to do?

SW1: Well, we don't know yet if we have got to include the apology.

SW2: Hmmm... so the one without will need a bit of padding to fill the time.

SW1: You're right there.

SW2: OK... I'll do the one without the apology as I'm good at waffle.

SW1: Doh! I'll do the apology then. I'll put Radio 2 on so I can listen to Jeremy Vine.

SW2: How do you know he is talking about this today? His web page is never updated until 11:30 - at the earliest.

SW1: You're wrong there, updated by 10:45 today, and yes, he is. He will give me some idea of what to write.

SW2: Does he also get to decide which speech Her Maj will use?

SW1: Of course!

SW2: One of us is wasting our time today....

2) OVERSEAS AID PLEDGE CHALLENGED - In a letter that's been leaked to The Times, the Defence Secretary Liam Fox tells David Cameron that the government shouldn't enshrine in law a target to spend 0.7% of our national income on foreign aid : Mr Fox is entitled to his opinion, and to express it to the Prime Minister. Somehow I don't think that either of them will be listening to your programme today, so your discussion today will not change anything. Next...

3) HAS YOUR TEENAGER EVER DISCOVERED YOUR PORNOGRAPHY? - At one o'clock, has your teenage child discovered pornography in your bedroom and if so, did it have a detrimental effect? : Mmmm... lunchtime porn. And the point of this is what, exactly? We don't have a teenage child, so this is of no relevance to me. Next...

4) SURROGATE MOTHER OF SIX CHILDREN - And finally, we talk to a woman who's been a surrogate mother six times. She's pregnant again. Why does she do it? : I have no idea, or interest, but in a similar vein how about these suggestions:

 - And finally, we talk to a man who runs a radio phone-in about so-called news topics that are anything but news. He's on again today. Why does he do it?

Or

 - And finally, we talk to a man who emails a radio programme every day just to tell them why he won't be listening. He's done it again today. Why does he do it?

Perhaps the answer in all three cases is "Because I can".

Huey Morgan is sitting in for Lauren Laverne on 6 Music this week but I'm not a great fan of the music that he plays, so it will be CDs from 12 until 1pm.

UPDATE: Rent-a-Mouth George Galloway was used to fill air time in the first item today. I have no doubt his pearls of wisdom were as unique as ever.

Today's show 04/03/11

I've been hearing a trail for your show all over Radio 2 this week. Let's have a look at what it says....

"Jeremy Vine back ..." : OK, that bit is true.

"... discussing the issues that affect you" : Errr..., no they don't. So, that's conjecture and speculation on your part.

"Back, with analysis..." : I'll do my own, thanks, as I don't trust what you tell me at all.

"... and opinion" : Including your own opinion, of course, but why should I care what other people think? I have my opinions too, but I like to treat others how I wish to be treated myself so I don't try and ram them down other's throats. I make an exception for you, of course.

"Back, with your views..." : Isn't a view the same as an opinion?

"... and experiences" : Great. Zzzzzzzz......

So, that one trail contains conjecture, speculation, poor research and repetition, which are all hall-marks of the Jeremy Vine Show. I'm not sure whether to congratulate you, or not.

On to today's menu...

1) Barnsley By-Election - The Liberal Democrats slump into sixth place as Labour wins a by-election in Barnsley. Should the Lib Dems be worried that the price of being in power is too high? : And STILL no mention of the referendum in Wales yesterday. There are about 220,000 people living in Barnsley (http://www.barnsley.gov.uk/mid-year-population-estimates) and 3 million in Wales. You have some really odd priorities! Next...

2) Jacqui Smith and porn - We talk to the former home secretary Jacqui Smith about porn : I am not a wanker so this is of no interest to me. Anyway, it is really just a trail for a Radio 5 show, isn't it? Next...

3) Car Insurance - Does your car insurance cost more than the car? : Web site FAIL! The link points to the Jacqui Smith story. I really do get the impression that nobody checks this stuff, and that nobody cares. It all just continues to lower my opinion of your programme. Anyway, I've just renewed my car insurance. It cost £190 but I got £70 cash back by using various Martin Lewis-recommended web sites, so £120 in all. This means that the answer to your question is "No". Would you like me to call in and tell you that? Next...

4) Pet obesity - We discuss pet obesity. Jeremy's looking for pictures of your overweight pets - click the link below to see the best photos we’ve received so far : This is what you get if you feed your pet the equivalent of fast food every day. We have three cats all of which are in excellent health and not overweight, despite food being available for them 24 hours a day. The reason is simple: Their food is of the best quality we can get (at least 60% meat, with no sugar or cereal). Funnily enough, the same results will be seen with human animals too. As for the pictures on your web site, I can only assume that you have posted them there so we can all "have a laugh" at them. Well, I'm not laughing. The respective owners are abusing their animals and do not deserve to keep them.

Now, this opens up an opportunity for you:

 - You can have a jolly good chuckle at the pictures and express your usual mock and insincere outrage about what is happening, OR

 - You could start a campaign supported by your celebrity (-ish) status and covered regularly on your Radio 2 show to educate pet owners about their animals nutrition.

So, are you going to bite the bullet and ACTUALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE, or are you going to take the lazy, cop-out, do nothing option?

Only you can decide ... but if I were a betting man I'd lay £1000 on you doing nothing, as usual.

Go on, just for once, please prove me wrong. Please.