Today's show 22/03/12

A really quick one today because, and to be honest, it is all just so bleugghhhh...

1) NICK CLEGG - We’re joined by the deputy Prime Minister and leader of the Lib Dems Nick Clegg. He will tell us why he’s so proud his party has fought for your tax cut : I've never voted for his party in a general election, but he will be saving me a few quid. Next...

2) CHILDBIRTH - A mother who gave birth to triplets, dies eight days later. Did your mum die during childbirth and how did it affect the rest of your life? : How awful, but my mum is alive and well. Next...

3) BUDGET CALCULATOR - Have you done the Budget calculator? Are you a winner or a loser? And if you’re a winner, are you prepared to give your gain to your granny who’s lost out? : Having listened to Osbourne's speech yesterday, and without the help of experts to tell me what to think, I can confirm that I am both a winner and a loser. Next...

4) HELIUM - Scientists are complaining that we’re running out of helium - a precious resource - and it’s time to ban helium balloons : Banning! Jeremy will be proud of you. I have never inhaled helium and I cannot recall ever having bought a helium balloon.

Today's show 09/12/11

You never did get your web site updated for yesterday's show. The "EU Summit" item was repeated three times, and then even that disappeared to leave, well, nothing. This is not the kind of service I expect to receive from my tax-funded broadcaster and I hope that somebody has been disciplined, or preferably sacked.

Today's issue that affects me: What should I do when the tax-funded state broadcaster provides a rubbish service, and yet complaints to them are just "entered in to the audience log" and then ignored?

Anyway, today somebody has managed to get out of bed and do their job...

1) BRITISH VETO - As the Prime Minister angers the French and Germans by using the British veto, we talk to someone who says: what’s so bad about Europe regulating the City? : Oooh... where to start. Let's start with the very obvious corporate BBC bias because, let's face it, there was no way ever that the BBC would have allowed you to write "What's so bad about Britain bailing out of Europe?". And good to see a reappearance by another mysterious "someone" who will be a person who is fully supportive of the BBC's own view of events. Again, I consider it odd that you are not speaking to "someone" who has the alternative point of view, but this is the BBC that we are talking about so a one-sided and biased half-the-story are the order of the day, and whether we like it or not. I am enjoying the spectacle of the various pro-EU talking heads going apoplectic about what Cameron has done, and if nothing else he should be praised for that. There have been some superb analogies to describe the situation, such as: "The French are very angry – one French diplomat says that Britain is acting "like a man who wants to go to a wife-swapping party without taking his own wife" (Ben Brogan, Daily Telegraph), "UK as isolated as somebody who refused to join the Titanic just before it sailed", (Terry Smith) and "Britain & Hungary have jumped into a lifeboat, whilst the other 25 gaze at the String Quartet, transfixed." (@ArnieEtc). And it was Winston Churchill who said "We are with Europe, but not of it. We are linked but not comprised. We are interested and associated but not absorbed" - it looks like he was right. There is, of course, a very real possibility now that we will end up as isolated as Norway and Switzerland (the two richest countries in Europe), but there is little chance of you making that point. It comes as no surprise to me at all that the BBC are making this look like The End Of The World where it is probably just Britain standing up for itself for once. I am so sorry that you and your colleagues find that so unbearable. I suggest you resign in protest. Next...

2) PUTTING A PET TO SLEEP - A man is found guilty of killing his own dog to avoid paying vet fees for having it put down. Are you someone who’s been forced to put your own pet to sleep? : We have pets and an excellent 24-hour vet, so this would simply never happen to me. Next...

3) EXTREME WEATHER - As storms lash Scotland and other parts of the UK, local newspapers are full of lorries blown over. Why aren’t high-sided vehicles banned from going out in strong winds? : Banning... yes, that's always the answer, isn't it? I bet you blame man-made global warming too. Perhaps we could have a publicly-funded government enquiry that decides which trucks can be used on which days, and taking in to account whether they are rigid, articulated, loaded, empty, body construction, route and all sorts of other variables to make some kind of unworkable regulations to be used whenever it gets more than "a bit breezy", and with the prospect of hefty fines for those who dare to venture out on to the roads. Or perhaps not. Unlike your web site maintainer, truckers do a good job. Your programme is just ridiculous. Next...

4) BIRTHMARKS - A mother is furious that a photographer airbrushed her child’s birthmark out of a school photo. Why are some people embarrassed by birthmarks? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : And let's finish the week with a story from the Daily Mail - hooray! Why Jeremy? Just why?

I loved your chat with Ken earlier...
JV: "... they are all interesting stories today"

Ken: "That's unusual"

Ken Bruce is a star! I really hope he reads my blog...

The Jeremy Vine Show - well, we think it is interesting

Today's show 29/11/11

You're back from your jolly, and the normal dismal service will be resumed today. Well, at least it matches the weather here in North Wales today.

There were some interesting comments on @Vine_Watch on Twitter yesterday, including something to do with trying to get an Indian call centre girl to talk with an English accent. I didn't listen, but it sounds bad, and patronising.

On many occasions I have asked you to discuss the bully-boy tactics used by Capita to collect the TV Licence Fee on behalf of the BBC. Another incidence of this has just been made public, this time for an unoccupied property undergoing renovation:
http://www.wakefieldexpress.co.uk/news/community-news/agbrigg-belle-vue/letter_tv_offer_i_can_t_refuse_1_4010232

The first (letter) was requesting the identity of the new occupier and demanded payment for a current TV licence, the second repeated much what the first had said but with a lingering threat, the third was very demanding and issued a further warning and possible fine, and the fourth said that it’s illegal for the new occupier to even use a games console on TV, or watch videos or pre-recorded items, even use a computer that’s linked to the Internet through the phone lines, a whole list of things that you mustn’t do. It went on and warned the occupier of a pending investigation and a fine of £1,000. I couldn’t believe how threatening it was, I couldn’t believe how the threats escalated just to get a response and how frenzied they where, to the point I was half expecting to wake up the next day with a severed horse head in my bed as in The Godfather.

Jeremy, this is a real problem, which you continue to ignore in your own exquisite and special way. Imagine if you were an elderly person in poor health and you started to receive letters such as these for no good reason. It would be enough to send you to your grave! Come on Jeremy, bite the bullet and tackle this one story for me ... please. I promise I will listen!

I've just looked down the menu for today's programme ... I despair of you, really. Is this what counts as news today?

Today's issue that affects me: Why is your Radio 2 programme complete and utter biased and bigoted bollocks from start to finish?

Allow me to elaborate:

1) GEORGE OSBOURNE - Chancellor George Osborne will outline plans to boost the UK's sluggish economy later, against expected gloomy forecasts for growth. But what's the main cause of Britain's poor growth - the eurozone crisis or the government's spending cuts? : Where would we be without financial experts such as yourself? Are these the only two possible reasons for poor growth? Really? Is it nothing to do with Gordon Brown pumping billions in to banks that should have been allowed to fail? Is it nothing to do with the same man selling off Britain's gold reserves for a rock-bottom price while the gold price was at an all-time low? Is it nothing to do with a world-wide economic downturn? Is it nothing to do with Brown's government spending more than the country could afford? Apparently not! I love the way you use words such as "sluggish", "gloomy" and "poor" instead of the words that Osbourne would maybe use such as "disappointing". No bias there then, eh? Iceland, by the way, allowed their banks to fail and now have a growth rate of 2.4% and only about 6% unemployment (corrected from "employment" - thanks Gill!), and falling (http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/finance/ambroseevans-pritchard/100013462/iceland-wins-in-the-end/). There is the lesson to be learned. Next...

2) NAZI MEMORABILIA - Hitler's bedsheets are being auctioned in Bristol. Is it acceptable to collect Nazi memorabilia? : Your obvious inflections while talking to Ken told me EXACTLY how you feel about this, but unfortunately you didn't say the words I wanted to hear so much: "... and our studio guest will be Lemmy from Motorhead". Lemmy is a huge collector of Nazi memorabilia (http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/profiles/growing-old-disgracefully-lemmy-on-heartbreak-ageing-and-his-penchant-for-nazi-memorabilia-2142747.html) and he sums it up quite nicely:

"Look, as I've always said, it's not my fault the bad guys had the best shit. But by collecting Nazi memorabilia, it doesn't mean I'm a fascist, or a skinhead. I'm not. I just liked the clobber. And let me tell you, the kind of people who do collect this stuff, they aren't yobbos either. They are people with Masters [degrees], they are doctors, professors. I've always liked a good uniform, and throughout history, it's always been the bad guy who dressed the best: Napoleon, the Confederates, the Nazis. If we had a good uniform, I'd collect ours as well, but what does the British Army have? Khaki. Makes them look like like a f**king swamp frog...".

I've just checked ebay for items including the word "Nazi" and it shows that there are 10,708 items available. What are you going to do about that? Nothing, by any chance?

Your suppostion is obviously that anybody collecting Nazi stuff will turn in to a Nazi, either that or you are trying to rewrite history. So, if I were to collect stamps would you accuse me of turning in to a Sub-Post Master? And can I accuse you of turning in to a geek for collecting Elvis Costello records and CDs? This is just another of your attacks on freedom-of-choice for any individual that happens to have a different outlook on life to your own. Much like you banning me from following you on Twitter.

Jeremy Vine vs Lemmy : I'd listen to that! But, as usual, you will not fail to disappoint me. Perhaps I should start collecting Jeremy Vine Show memorobilia ... now that really is unacceptable. Next...

3) OUT OF THE BLUE SUICIDES - Has your family had to cope with an out of the blue suicide? : No. SVG 6, I think. Next...

4) TAKING CHILDREN TO WORK - David Cameron says that parents should take their children to work during tomorrow's strike. Will you? : Hmmm... genuine advice, or just another chance for a cheap shot against Cameron? I'll go with the latter as it is your usual fare, and this was confirmed by your chat with Ken. The "if practical or possible" or similar words that Cameron used have been conveniently ignored by you. Not a problem for me, of course, as we continue to have no children.

Guido Fawkes is appearing before the Leveson Enquiry on Thursday. That will be fascinating. And because it is of interest to me my guess is that you will conveniently ignore it.... bring on the wheelie bins!

The Jeremy Vine Show - back to the UK, back to the usual rubbish

Today's show 16/11/11

A quick scan of today's sorry menu shows that you have again chosen to discuss items that are of no interest or relevance to me. Yesterday afternoon I sent you an email suggesting two discussion topics, but as they concern the BBC you have, of course, pretended that they don't exist. For the benefit of my blog readers the two topics were these:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/tv-radio/bbc-cheap-programming-scandal-exposed-6262533.html

BBC 'cheap programming' scandal exposed

The BBC has owned up to a “nominal fee” programming scandal in which viewers of 15 editorial programmes were hoodwinked by “serious” conflicts of interest of programme makers and a failure to declare that documentaries had outside sponsors.
The programmes were made for “low or nominal cost” but many were heavyweight documentaries on controversial environmental issues and the BBC Trust, the corporation’s governing body, said today it was “deeply concerned” by the findings. Mark Thompson, the director general of the BBC, has ordered the organisation to tighten its systems for commissioning current affairs programmes. The broadcasting regulator Ofcom announced today that it was launching an investigation into the affair.

This comes as no surprise to me at all. The BBC's agenda on all sorts of issues, and "global warming" in particular, has suggested to me for some time that there was something hidden behind the message, and here it is for all to see. As for the BBC Trust, they don't know the meaning of the word Trust! The BBC has prepared their own carefully worded version of this story (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-15739468) and I just love this paragraph:

Richard Porter, head of English at BBC Global News, said staff would pay heed to the findings. "We must not damage the audience's trust in what we broadcast," he wrote in a public blog post.

There is absolutely no chance of my trust in the BBC's broadcasts being damaged, because any trust that I had evaporated years ago. Even the much-acclaimed Frozen Planet TV series does not escape controversy as the BBC has decided not to include the "climate change" episode from the standard package sold to other countries (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/8889541/BBC-drops-Frozen-Planets-climate-change-episode-to-sell-show-better-abroad.html). One message for the UK, and a meeker message for everybody else because we don't want to upset them, perhaps?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-15733504

Bristol, Darwen and Glasgow TV Licensing staff to strike

Hundreds of TV Licensing workers will strike for a third time later this week unless their employer engages in fresh pay talks, union leaders have warned.

Do I care? No. Should I care? Definitely not. The thugs and henchmen at Capita can go on strike for as long they like. However, it reminds me that I have asked you before to discuss "What happens when you don't buy a TV licence?" but you have still chosen not to do so, preferring umbrella injuries and memorial benches to anything that may be of interest to this potential listener. The answer to my question continues to be, apparently: Not much.

 

So what do you have to tempt me today? Not much by the look of it.... 

 

1) SMOKING IN CARS - The British Medical Association says it’s time to ban smoking in cars : Mmmmm.... banning. Where would the Jeremy Vine Show be without banning? And paedophiles, pornography, sexism, racism, irrelevant trivia, etc. These are the fundamentals that form the basis for your programme every day. The BMA's suggestion is, of course, another erosion of what civil liberties we have left in this country, and I note that they make no mention of how their ban would be enforced. I hope the BMA is grateful to our beloved State Broadcaster for disseminating their message and telling us what to think. And I don't smoke. Next... 

2) HEROINE - The sister of a heroine addict tells us how devastating it can be for the whole family : There are no drug addicts in our family, so this is of no interest to me. Next...

3) EATING DISORDERS - In the run up to Children In Need, we discuss how eating disorders can affect children as young as 8 or 9 : I've just checked and we still don't have any children. Next...

4) GERMANY - Finally, 20 years ago Nicholas Ridley was sacked for saying Britain should never be bossed about by the Germans. Is Germany right to say it alone has the answers to the European Economic Crisis? Find out more in this article from the Guardian. : Again, I will use the example of Switzerland which is not in the EU and seems to be doing very nicely. Now Mr Cameron, about that referendum...

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - believing that the BBC is just perfect!

Today's show 10/10/11

Hello Paddy!

Another Monday, and again JV is away and stitched you up with the scrapings from an empty barrel labelled "Monday News". Oh well...

Today's issue that affects me: Who are you?

As I was saying...

1) POLITENESS AWARDS - A new report says that, contrary to what we might think, the British are becoming politer. For one day only, take part in the Radio 2 Politeness Awards 2011. Who would you like to nominate? Find out more from Mail Online : There is an obvious and easy answer to this question: Howard Schultz from Starbucks, who despite Jeremy's attempts to ridicule, humiliate and trap remained cool, calm, collected and polite while giving Jeremy the kind of responses that had been overdue for many, many years. Somehow though I don't think he will be on your show today, so I have no need to listen. And it is good to see the Daily Mail making a slow but steady return as the prime source for your discussion topics. We all knew you could not live without it!
No Daily Mail = No Jeremy Vine Show. Next...

 

2) LIAM FOX - The Defence Secretary Liam Fox has apologised over the row in which his best friend was allowed to take part in top-level meetings. Have you ever tried to help a friend get on and then regretted it? : No. Next...

3) MISCARRIAGES - Women who suffered miscarriages are being put through emotional torture when they are placed in the same wards as mothers and babies. Find out more from the Press Association : I am sure that this must be horrible, but I am still not a woman. Next...

4) SPITTING - This man from Enfield Council is trying to ban spitting. Is spitting ever acceptable? : "And our special expert guest in the studio today is ... Bob Carolgees". If only! Have a Gold Star for discussing "banning", Jeremy will be proud of you.

 

Knowing of your intimate knowledge of everything published by the Daily Mail, I have no doubt that you will have seen this (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2046636/MPs-paid-thousands-appear-BBC-As-Corporation-cuts-politicians-given-licence-fee-cash-TV-radio.html):

MPs paid thousands to appear on the BBC:
As Corporation cuts back, politicians are given licence fee cash to go on TV and radio

MPs are being handed thousands of pounds of licence fee money simply to appear on the BBC.
It proves the BBC has become a money-spinner for the political classes.

I am left wondering if this applies to ex-MPs too, and Galloway in particular. Last week I sent a Freedom of Information request to the BBC in which I asked two questions:

 - I would like to know how much George Galloway was paid for his appearances on Radio 2's Jeremy Vine Show during the most recent 12-month period for which you have details available.
 - I would like to know how much Jeremy Vine was paid to present his programme on Radio 2 during the most recent 12-month period for which you have details available.

I've just had my reply....

 

Freedom of Information request – RFI2011 1210
Thank you for your request to the BBC of the 4th October, seeking the following information under the Freedom of Information Act 2000:

 - how much George Galloway was paid for his appearances on Radio 2’s Jeremy Vine’s Show during the most recent 12-month period for which you have details available
 - how much Jeremy Vine was paid to present his programme on radio 2 during the most recent 12-month period for which you have details available

The information you have requested is excluded from the Act because it is held for the purposes of ‘journalism, art or literature.’ The BBC is therefore not obliged to provide this information to you and will not be doing so on this occasion.

 

Again, I am puzzled as to what information the BBC's FOI team can actually give out without falling foul (or hiding behind?) the "journalism, art or literature" veto. One of the BBC's favourite subjects is itself (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8813428/All-I-get-on-the-BBC-these-days-is-...-the-BBC.html) so how about discussing the BBC's inbred secrecy one day? I'd listen to that!

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - unless it isn't, of course

Today's show 03/10/11

Monday mornings are always a problem, aren't they? The weekend (with some exceptionally fine weather here on Saturday, at least) has come and gone and left your editorial team fumbling around trying to find some "news" stories to cover today. I see from your web page (updated nice and early again today - thank you) that the barrel has been well and truly scraped and they have found four items for discussion, and none of which are of relevance or interest to me as I shall explain later.

If you needed help all you had to do was ask and I could have helped with a couple, at least.

My first choice would have been this one from Jeremy's favourite newspaper, the Daily Mail (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2044206/BBC-presenters-accused-advertising-door-Berghaus-winterwear.html#ixzz1ZVf5HGGH):
The Berghaus Broadcasting Corporation: Presenters accused of 'advertising by the back door' as BBC gets massive discounts on designer winterwear

Allow me to quote:
The BBC has been accused of allowing its presenters to advertise Berghaus clothing by ‘the back door’ – after negotiating a deal to buy jackets at a 45 per cent discount.
BBC editorial guidelines state that staff should adhere to a set of strict rules banning them from the on-screen promotion of products or brands.

So, how does that work then? I think we should be told and I would consider this a worthy topic for discussion.

The second item I would have chosen concerns Jeremy's old friend George "We're all going to die - no, really, we really are all going to die" Monbiot. You know him, he is the famous pedlar of the Anthropogenic Global Warming myth and seems to make a good living from doing so as he has chosen to publish details of his income here: http://www.monbiot.com/registry-of-interests/. You will probably gather that I am no fan of the man but I do admire his openness and wonder whether others in public life might like to do the same kind of thing. George "I'd like the cream" Galloway would be of most interest to me!

You seem to have missed that the Conservative Party Conference is taking place in Manchester this week too. Interesting, don't you think, that last week Jeremy covered this in some detail (Monday : Economy, Tuesday : Rory "I'm so poor - has anybody seen my iPad?" Weal, Wednesday : Ed Miliband's "predator or producer" speech) but yet there is nothing about the Tories today. You may have heard that George Osbourne has announced this morning that Council Tax is to be frozen for another 12 months (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-15145083), yet your programme chooses to make no mention of it. So, why is that? Bias, bias, bias, BIAS! That's why. Jeremy will be proud of you.

 

In connection with this I had to laugh (because it is oh, so true) at a piece posted on Guido Fawkes's blog (http://order-order.com/2011/10/03/overheard-in-the-midland-hotel-bar-ii/), which I will quote in full as it might play on somebody's guilt there - maybe:
Overheard in the Midland Hotel Bar II

A newbie MP talking to a young blonde lady. The MP says “it was nice to meet you, but I’ve got to go and show my face at the British Venture Capital Association reception”. The young lady immediately says “wow, that sounds like a very right-wing group.”  The MP looks bemused, replying “I wouldn’t say that. It’s business, it’s not left-wing or right-wing. So what do you do?” The lady suddenly looks embarrassed: “I work for the BBC.” “Oh? Doing what exactly?” “I’m public affairs – it’s my job to persuade all of you lot that we’re not a bunch of raving left wingers.” “You’re not doing a very good job so far…” came the reply.

Today's issue that affects me: What were Radio 2 management thinking when they decided to use Jon Holmes and Miranda Hart on the breakfast show this week?

Interesting too that at 08:24 this morning they gave a run-down of what is to come on Radio 2 today, which - according to them - consisted of Ken Bruce and Steve Wright, with no mention of your programme. Perhaps they, like me, are pretending that it doesn't exist.

Moving on then to today's Tory-free tosh, which doesn't look like it will take long to deal with:

1) KNOX MURDER TRIAL - Amanda Knox pleads for her innocence in court today. The case continues to be sensational but are we in danger of forgetting that an English girl called Meredith Kercher was murdered? : I hadn't forgotten that, but thanks for reminding me. On that basis, do I need to listen? Next...

2) CARERS - A disabled woman suspicious that her carers were stealing from her installs CCTV and catches them red-handed. Can your carer be trusted? : What carer is that then? Next...

3) COLD & FLU REMEDIES - We’re joined by Radio 2 Doctor Sarah Jarvis. Following an inquest last week, are you in danger of overdosing on cold and flu remedies? : I last had a cold (actually Man Flu, of course) about five years ago. My remedies are warmth, rest, sleep and food. Other than getting fatter, I'm prepared to take a chance that overdosing on any of those will not do me any harm at all. Next...

4) GRAVEYARDS - Finally, Goths are banned from taking photos in ‘Dracula’s Cemetery’ in Whitby. Are you disturbed by young people hanging around your local cemetery? : I'm not sure what the connection between "taking photos" and "hanging around" is, but I have no doubt that you have found one. We have a small cemetery literally just up the road. Other than relatives of the deceased and the chap who keeps it tidy I've never seen anybody else there. Oh, and I've never been to Whitby and I don't ever recall being a Goth.

 

Nice one Paddy! Four out of four totally irrelevant stories.

 

Now, go and get a proper job, do yourself a favour and remember the old saying when Vine's team next ask you to stand in for him: Just Say "No" !

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - but not today.

Today's show 27/09/11

Just listening to you on Ken's show ... more misinformation. The Focus song with the yodelling was Hocus Pocus, not Sylvia. There are no vocals on Sylvia at all. Get it right Jeremy!

Today's issue that affects me: Should I switch to 6 Music at 12, or should I play one of my Focus CDs?

I have to thank my lovely wife for today's first piece of preamble, as it was she who spotted this:
http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2011/09/26/ofcom-receives-complaints-about-rational-jeremy-vine-listener/

Now, I was only vaguely aware of newsbiscuit up until I read this, and I did not know that all of their news items are spoofs, but my immediate reaction to this one was "Brilliant, I so hope that is true" until it was explained to me that, unfortunately, it definitely was not true. How disappointing. But it seems that somebody who writes for newsbiscuit knows you and your show well, and certainly well enough to fool me - if only briefly. Congratulations!

A couple of interesting articles about journalism at the BBC were brought to my attention yesterday...

The first (http://blogs.reuters.com/mediafile/2011/09/26/the-future-of-journalism-in-the-uk/) was written the BBC's Director-General, Mark Thompson, in which he debates the threats to journalism caused by the phone hacking scandal, amongst other things, and continues the usual biased BBC line of attacking News International and The News Of The World in particular while conveniently ignoring that other news media organisations were also guilty of hacking. Unfortunately he fails to address one of the biggest problems with news journalism in this country, and that is that I and many other people simply do not believe what we are told by the news media any more.

The second (https://careers.bbc.co.uk/fe/tpl_bbc01.asp?newms=jj&id=40222&newlang=1) came as a result of reading your Twitter feed in which you encouraged your followers (not that I am one, of course, as I am still BLOCKED) to "GET INTO THE BEEB: This is pretty much best job in world if you're just starting out. I was on it, loved every second". Having looked through the detailed job description I am surprised that I cannot find anything about producing items with a bias to suit the BBC's own agenda. I guess that anybody who lives in The Real World, who has any semblance of honesty, integrity and self-esteem, who does not like "jollies" to Iceland, or has knowledge of how to use an apostrophe or how oil-fired central heating systems work need not apply.

Going back to yesterday's programme, and the discussion on care for elderly relatives, a contributor to my blog wrote the following, and it appears to be true: JV appears to have misread the story on item 3. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-15052636 As I read it, the suggestion is that visiting hours should be extended so that relatives could help if they wished. Not that they should be helping. Subtle but important difference, clearly beyond JV.

Moving on to today's mindless mumblings then...

1) DEFENCE CUTS - Nearly 3,000 posts are cut at BAE Systems. But we talk to someone who’s pleased that defence jobs are going : Would that be Sally Bercow (http://orderorder.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/sally-bercow-bae.png) by any chance? It is a tragedy that the jobs are being lost, but this is a private company so they are free to run their business as they see fit, and nothing you discuss today will change anything, as usual. I would expect nothing less than bucketloads of faux compassion and a general attack on government policy. Next...

2) HORSE WHIPPING - The British Horseracing Authority was asked to ban the use of the horse whip. Its response was ‘don’t ban it, just use it less’ : Asked? Who by? Nowhere can I find anything about who it was that asked the BHA to ban the use of whips, and it is not mentioned on the BBC news page that you link to. Are you making this up, again? I've never had any involvement with horse racing at all, other than a flutter at work many years ago on one Grand National, so I feel unable to form an opinion or have any interest in your discussion today. And in case you haven't noticed, the BHA have made their decision so you will be changing nothing - again. Next...

3) CANCER DRUGS - Cancer experts are saying that some cancer drugs are so expensive we can’t afford to use them on terminally ill patients. What price would you put on prolonging life? : I have no idea, but if I was suffering (and I mean suffering) from cancer and my life was only being prolonged by drugs then I would do everything I could to stop taking them. Next...

4) RORY WEAL - We spoke to the star of the Labour Conference, a 16 year old Labour activist, who says his family owes everything to the welfare state : Does he remind you of a young William Hague? What a sad indictment of this rotten country in which we live. Perhaps he wants to be famous when he grows up, and I am sure that the BBC will aid him in his endeavours. This just goes to show that you can fool some of the people some of the time.

The Jeremy Vine Show - misleading listeners every day

UPDATE:

COMMENT OF THE DAY from Jonathan Harris-Douglas: "Please ask Jenny Pitman whether she would like to be whipped."

This comment was posted on your Twitter feed at 13:24. How can you decide that it is the "COMMENT OF THE DAY" when your programme has 35 minutes left to run?

Today's show 23/06/11

I'm not sure what to say about yesterday's 2DAY extravaganza, other than to say that I had stopped listening by 09:15 and didn't go back to Radio 2 until 8am this morning. I did monitor the comments on Live Chat, and to me they seemed to be about 30% in favour and 70% against, although the in favour vote increased as the day went on. I wonder if this was because more and more listeners had moved away from Radio 2. I have no doubt the person responsible for 2DAY will have done some in-depth research in to listening figures and patterns, and will now be justifying their continued BBC employment to whoever will listen. Those of us that don't work for the BBC will never know for sure whether 2DAY was an unqualified success, an unmitigated disaster, or just a self-indulgent "look at how good we are" exercise.

 

The old saying rings true: If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

 

One unexpected result of 2DAY was a significant rise in my blog readership, and enough to push it over 3900 page views. See the attached graph. The spike on the 17th June coincided with the revelation of the Panorama "fake film" story ... that you didn't discuss.

The other attachment shows the Search Keywords that people have used and found my blog and it includes three references to Panorama. "jeremy vine biased" is an interesting one, what can they be thinking?

 

Anyway, you're in Iceland today, which is nice for you and your team. There is nothing like a company "jolly" from time to time, is there? Especially when we licence fee payers are funding it. So let's look at the value-for-money we will be treated to today in the five (yes, five) chosen topics::

 

1) FINANCE - Jeremy will visit Reykjavik's financial district - the scene of an extraordinary boom and bust - and grill the country's finance minister on when British councils and charities will get their money back from Iceland's failed banks. He'll look at how Iceland's people are coping with the aftermath of the crash. Jeremy talks to journalist Robert Jackson, Steingrímur Sigfússon; Iceland’s Minister for Finance, Sveinn Valfells' from ‘Advice’ group and Lisa Bjork; Mum of three from Kopavogur : On the advice of Martin Lewis (yes, that Martin Lewis) I invested a significant sum with Kaupthing but fortunately took it out before they got in to trouble. I understand that unemployment is a problem there, so I wonder if any of the women have ever thought about getting a job in a strip club? Oh, hang on...

 

2) STRIP CLUB BAN - Iceland is the most feminist country on the planet, according to the World Economic Forum. And it's just banned strip clubs - is that a good idea? Jeremy talks to Katrín Anna Guðmundsdóttir; Equality Definer and Venetia Thompson; Journalist and former city broker : Is it a good idea? I have no idea. I guess it all depends on how good they were. But then I have never been to an Icelandic strip club, or any other strip club for that matter. Next...

3) WHALING - Iceland argues that its commercial whaling is essential to the economy and it's a sustainable way to manage fish stocks. Jeremy talks to Tomas Heidar, Iceland’s Whaling Commissioner and John Gummer; Former Conservative minister and now Lord Deben : I can see no justification for the killing of whales by any country. It sickens me that this still goes on. Iceland, Norway and Japan should hang their heads in shame. Next...

4) VOLCANO - Jeremy checks out the volcanic activity that caused so many problems for air travellers last year. He talks to Professor Pall Einarsson; Professor of Geophysics at the University of Iceland : Has he fixed it then? No? Oh dear. Next...

5) SCOTLAND AND ICELAND - And Jeremy asks if Scotland should be more like Iceland. He talks to Angus MacNeil, Scottish National Party MP for the Western Isles and Anne McGuire; Labour MP for Stirling : Hmmm... Scotland with active volcanoes and geysers, now that would be something to see. However, I'm not sure what the operators of Glasgow and Edinburgh airports would think about it.

 

Sorry, but nothing here of interest to me today, so I won't be listening. And I can't stand Bjork.

 

I wonder if I can obtain details of the costs of your Icelandic trip under a Freedom of Information request...

Today's show 06/06/11

Welcome back Jeremy! Great to have you back, last week was absolutely dire! Not that I listened, of course.

I'm busy busy today, so let's keep it brief...

1) CHILD SEXUALISATION - The government welcomes a report that's calling for shops to stop selling clothes which sexualise children. Jeremy talks to Dr Jan MacVarish; Research associate at the Centre for Health Services Studies at the University of Kent and Telegraph journalist Cristina Odone : We have no children, so I feel totally unable to form a judgement on this and therefore it is of no interest to me. However, it sounds like banning is being suggested, so little wonder that you are discussing it today! Next...

 

2) COUNCIL HOUSES - Should people earning one hundred thousand pounds a year be allowed to live in a council house? Jeremy talks to Grant Schapps; Minister for Housing and Paul Dimoldenberg; Leader of the Labour Group on Westminster City Council : And let us welcome back the Daily Mail in to the fold, and after it was ignored completely last week by the abominable Ms Feltz in favour of other Dead Tree Press Preservation Society members The Independent, The Guardian, Metro and The Daily Mirror (God help us, please!). I loved the comments on the Daily Mail page you link to, particularly the ones that start with "What a load of drivel", and "DM readers are living in a dreamworld", and could not have put it better myself. Anyway, I don't earn one hundred thousand pounds a year, I don't live in a council house and I certainly don't read the Daily Mail, so how can this possibily be of any interest to me? Next...

 

3) ADULT ACNE - After 1 we're joined by Radio 2 doctor Sarah Jarvis to discuss adult acne. Jeremy also talks to Zoe Fletcher who suffers from adult acne : Luckily, I don't. Next...

 

4) HYPNOSIS - And we look at when hypnosis goes wrong : Years ago, I used to know somebody that was hypnotised in a pub show one evening and behaved like a chicken. He told me afterwards that he remembered everything, was not hypnotised and the hypnotist was a fake. He then demonstrated his chicken mimicing again for the assembled throng to prove that he could do what he did anyway, hypnotised or not. Is this what you mean by hypnosis going wrong?

Today's show 07/02/11

Eyes down for another week of the lunchtime vacuum...

1) Children - A mother who left her 14 year old to look after his 3 year old brother while she went to the shops is given a police caution for cruelty. When is it acceptable to leave a child on their own? : For the umpteenth time, we have no children so this is of no interest to me. Next...

2) Former Soldier - Talks about returning from Basra : I have never been in the armed forces, and at 52 years of age it is not likely to happen now. While I have an admiration for armed services personnel who carry out their chosen profession in difficult circumstances there are other professions where people put their lives at risk every day (firemen and fishermen to name but two) yet we rarely (ever?) hear of their experiences. Why is that then? Next...

3) Ken Clarke - Justice Secretary joins us : Jolly good. I'll let you know when anything that the Justice Secretary decides affects my life, but for the moment it has no relevance to me. Next...

4) Chinese Lanterns - Hazards for planes : Oooohhh... banning! Where would the JV Show be without another banning story? It is one of the hallmarks of your show, along with factual errors, speculation, bias, disinterest, etc. Chinese lanterns were last discussed on your show in July 2009, and it was during this discussion that you said that your arms were three feet long. I've told you a million times: Don't exaggerate!

Today's show 27/01/11

Good to see that somebody is doing their job at last... Your web site was updated with today's topics by 11:15, and Paddy O'Connell has finally been despatched from whence he came.

1) Phone Hacking - The police are going to spend millions of pounds investigating phone hacking. Is this a good use of police time and money? : I have no idea, but the evidence suggests that something has been going on. If prosecutions result then it will just go to show the type of scum that work for news organisations in the name of journalism. These are the very same people that feed us - their poor readers, viewers and listeners - a diet of misinformed, inaccurate and fear-inducing drivel that, unfortunately, far too many people believe to be The Truth. This whole issue, yet again, erodes their credibility in my mind and is, hopefully, yet another nail in the coffin of the Dead Tree Press. Did you see Charlie Brooker's "How TV Ruined Your Life" this week? Utterly brilliant! Next...

2) Nimrod or World Service? - Which would you save? : Jeremy Vine meets the X-Factor. Does the one with the most votes get saved? Thought not. Next...

3) Andy Gray - Is there one in your workplace? : Ooohhh... good question. I need to check.... hang on... OK, I've looked around the room and there is nobody else here, so I guess the answer to your question is "No". Unless you mean me? Next...

4) Banning Phones or iPods - While crossing the road : So the actual headline is "New Yorkers 'to be fined for using mobile phones when crossing roads" as in New York, USA. The word "or" does make me wonder why they would want to ban one and not the other though. I wonder how they will decide which one has to go. Anyway, this has nothing to do with the UK, so why do you consider it to be worthy of national debate? But let's look on the bright side... it has taken you until 27th January to feature a story that involves banning. Good effort!

Today's show 19/01/11

Well I never... your daily web page was updated some time before 10:35 today. I'm impressed!

 

1) Education Maintenance Allowance - The coalition wants to abolish Education Maintenance Allowance for 6th forms. Does your child depend on it? : We have no children and the abolition does not apply to students in Wales so this is irrelevant to me. Another "England Only" story - Jeremy will be proud of you. Next...

 

2) Segways Banned - Have you been on one? : No, but I would love to. It is interesting that the BBC news page you refer to (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-south-yorkshire-12215326) makes no use of the word "banned". The word "banned" suggests that all use is prohibited by law, but the news page says that their use has only been prohibited on pavements (as they are classed as a motor vehicle) and public roads (as they do not meet motor vehicle requirements) which can only mean that their use on private property is acceptable. Does that count as banned? I don't think so. I don't own one and I am not likely to so how can this be of interest to me? Next...

 

3) Inflation - Is it good or bad? : Probably. Next...

 

4) Is Your Child Gay? - Are you thrilled about it? : Hmmm... with a link to a Daily Mail web page. If nothing else, this supports my theory that the JV Show is not much more than a radio version of the Daily Mail, so I'm pleased about that. As in item 1 today, we have no children so how can I possibly be thrilled? Ref. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1348403/Jonathan-Ross-reveals-daughter-Betty-Kitten-gay.html?ito=feeds-newsxml