30/04/12, 01/05/12 and 02/05/12

I've got some catching up to do, and a convenient break in work-related matters allows me some time to do so, so best get on with it...

Monday produced this load of old rubbish...

1) KHALIL DALE - A British aid worker Khalil Dale is beheaded in Pakistan. He has been described as a gentle man who lived to help others in war zones : Absolutely tragic, but what did your discussion change? Anything? At all? Let me guess... Next...

2) RECESSION - We’re joined by BBC Business editor Robert Peston. We ask “is it possible to talk ourselves into a recession?” : The answer to your question is "Yes" and the BBC will be leading the campaign to do so. You said on Ken's show about Peston: Does he have to have that gleam in his eye as he talks about the recession? The answer to that question is also "Yes", simply because he is paid by and works for the BBC. Like you, it is his job to do so. When the figures were released and the floodgates opened at the BBC as you searched frantically for someone to talk down the economy. I can only guess the jubilation when the BBC found a fellow doom monger by the name of Raymond Moan (yes, really), a building supplies businessman from Northern Ireland. Mr Moan was used on every news broadcast from then on with the BBC ignoring anybody with a different view, as usual. Next...

3) RED KITE - Have you been attacked by a red kite? : I was hit by one in a park when I was a child. I cannot remember the colour for sure, but I think it was blue and yellow. Oh... that kind of kite. No, I've never been attacked by one of those. You said on Ken's show when talking about Pomeranians: I don't know what size of dog that is. Is that not the kind of basic information that you would need to discuss this topic? Were you winging it (pun intended) again Jeremy? And from my knowledge of birds of prey, of which we have many around here, the behaviour and description sound more like a buzzard to me. Next...

4) MISSILES - Residents who live in flats in the East End have been told that they could well have an air-to-air missile on their roof to protect the Olympics : East End of where? Oh, you'll be talking about that there London. There was a classic Jeremy Vine open-mouth-and-insert-foot moment on Ken's show when you said: Surface to air is a bit of a misnomer as they will be on top of a block of flats. How is that a misnomer? It is an entirely accurate description. Was this the second time in one programme when you did not have a clue what you were talking about? Sounds like it to me! And can I have a missile on my roof, please? Target coordinates: W1W 2NY.

On to Tuesday then...

1) FORDS - A man is swept away to his death while attempting to drive through a ford during yesterday’s heavy rain on the Berkshire - Hampshire border. Have you got into trouble while attempting to cross a ford? : No, and I loved the video clip on the BBC news page you linked to which clearly showed a water depth gauge. Radio about stupid people, by stupid people, for stupid people. There is no charge if you want to make that your programme's new slogan. Next...

2) HATE - Astronomer Sir Patrick Moore whose fiancée was killed by a Nazi bomb in World War 2 says it’s still OK to hate the Germans. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : The Daily Mail... what better mouthpiece of the sewer press is there to stir up a bit of racial hatred? And what better mouthpiece of sewer radio is there to further promote it than your programme? You said on Ken's show: Amazing how recently the Germans were still bombing London. The last German air raid on London using conventional bombers (not V1 or V2 rockets) was on the 29 January 1944. That'll be 68 years ago. Is that what you count as "recent"? How are they getting on in Mafeking? Next...

3) COMMUNIST MANIFESTO - It’s May Day, International Workers Day. As the Communist Manifesto, the second biggest selling book of all time, is re-published, we ask whether Communism has any relevance in 2012 : It has as much relevance to me as it has always had: None at all. Needless to say, I did not listen but it was obvious from your Twitter feed that somebody called Daniel Frazer was mightily upset with what you were saying. For the benefit of my blog readers I'll repeat what he said here (http://www.twitlonger.com/show/h7usvt, my emphasis):

@theJeremyVine Of all the trash I have heard from the BBC your show today has to be the worst. Railroading Catholicism with Nazism and Capitalism, leaving Communism as the one true haven. No mention of grinding poverty in Socialist states, no mention of forced famines or gulags. No! just standing behind that Nazism had concentration camps so they were the only evil. What is a gulag or Siberian banishment if not a death camp? You are an abhorrent figure, willingly rallying and distorting the truth about the Communist manifesto and Capitalism. By playing Internationale today will you play Die Farne Hoch on the anniversary of the Munich Putsch? The anthem of a lot less brutal regime in Europe at the time? You do indeed fit the billing to partake in the worst waste of public money in all history, with your red brethren at the BBC. It is just that you and your show will end up in the cesspool of history.

He makes some good points! Next...

4) CANNABIS - And finally, Holland starts to close some of its “coffee shops” to tourists. Did you only go to Amsterdam for the cannabis? : I've been to Amsterdam only once and I was only there long enough to change trains, and I've never had anything to do with cannabis.

And finally, on to today...

1) PRESCRIPTIONS - A new report finds 1 in 6 patients are being given inaccurate prescriptions. We talk to someone about the day they spotted a serious error in their prescription : I rarely have prescriptions, and that has never happened to me. However, I do always check to see I have been given the correct stuff before using it. Obviously I am not a member of your Target Audience. Next...

2) RUPERT MURDOCH - Is Rupert Murdoch unfit to run a major international company? We talk to Tom Watson, hot from the MPs' Select Committee report, who says he clearly is : More Murdoch ... YOU LOVE IT! I have no view on Murdoch's competency to run his own business, but I find it interesting that you have Watson on your programme today. A couple of days ago this interesting little tête-à-tête appeared on your Twitter feed:


That all sounds a bit cosy to me. Anyway, it seems Watson might be in trouble (http://order-order.com/2012/05/01/dial-s-for-special-access-watson-revealed-committee-findings-in-book/) as in his book (the one whose "title is best so far this year") he revealed the committee's findings before they were published. I'd bet that you don't ask him about that. Next...

3) MAYORS - 10 towns and cities vote tomorrow on whether they should have mayors. Do you want a mayor for your city? : My nearest city already has one, thanks. Oh, you've missed out the important words "in England". Deliberate misinformation again Jeremy? Next...

4) ROY HODGSON - The new England manager is already being ridiculed for his speech impediment. What makes people think it's ok to ridicule someone with a speech defect? : Who? Oh, this is to do with sport. How boring. It is better to have a speech defect and talk sense than to talk rubbish perfectly, don't you think? You would know.

The Jeremy Vine Show - always ready to talk to (and pay) Labour MPs but please do not call us biased!

26/04/12 and 27/04/12

It is a wet and very windy Sunday afternoon here in North Wales, and with any outside activities cancelled for the day an opportunity arises to send you my comments on the last two programmes from last week.

But first, here is some other stuff...

Jeremy, have you ever heard of a political party called UKIP? If you have then you are probably unique at the BBC as our favourite state broadcaster seems to be doing their best to not just ignore UKIP but almost to deny its existence. There was an interesting article about this phenomenon by Michael Heaver in The Commentator a few days ago (http://www.thecommentator.com/article/1125/bbc_green_with_envy_over_ukip_s_rise) which rightly said: Perhaps I'm just a troubled, paranoid young man. But if the Green Party were outpolling the Liberal Democrats nationally, I think that the BBC would be absolutely all over the story. Mr Heaver is, in my view, absolutely correct. So how about you include UKIP when a relevant topic for discussion occurs? Or did you get the "no UKIP" memo from the BBC's Director of Bias too?

Some BBC news:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9233705/BBC-launches-inquiry-into-payments-to-MPs.html

BBC launches inquiry into payments to MPs

The BBC has launched an inquiry which could lead to a ban on MPs being paid to appear as guests on programmes. The move would affect dozens of politicians who are regularly rewarded for their broadcasts, earning up to £200 plus expenses for a turn on Radio 4's Any Questions or more than £500 for BBC One's This Week.

I have tried my best to find out how much Galloway et al are paid to patronise your listeners... ooops, sorry, I mean... to make a valuable contribution to your programme, but have failed on every attempt due to the unique way in which the BBC is funded and so won't tell the very people who fund a darned thing about how OUR money is spent. A ban on MPs being paid could be interesting. The appearance of a Tory MP on your programme is a rare thing already so that situation will probably not change, but if a ban means that Balls or Prescott are not called upon to give us the benefit of their wisdom on the price of brussel sprouts then so be it. My hope is that only those MPs who are passionate on their subject will appear - for free - and that will nicely separate the motormouths and rent-a-gobs from those who are actually trying to improve the land in which we live. Perhaps you need to update your MP "speed dial" list?

I know you don't do it, but I would like to go back to a couple of recent discussions on your programme...

The first was on 18th April when you were bemoaning the decline of local newspapers. Well, Mr Murdoch Snr has identified the culprit for their demise: The BBC. He gave his views as part of the Leveson Inquiry last week (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/17857574):
Leveson Inquiry: Murdoch rounds on BBC News website

Rupert Murdoch has used his appearance at the Leveson Inquiry into press ethics to reflect on the threat posed to newspapers by the internet. The head of News Corps singled out the BBC News website as a significant threat to local news websites throughout the UK.

So there we go, it is the BBC's fault. I knew it all along. Although only three minutes long, it is a an interesting interview. No wonder the BBC have him down as Public Enemy Number One.

The second was last Wednesday, 25th April, and the discussion on bus lanes and cyclists. Just out of curiosity I listened to the discussion on iPlayer in the hope that somebody might have given you some grief. I knew that you would have John Griffin from Addison Lee as a studio guest, but your other guest was something of a surprise choice. Now I know that you make a pretence of not ramming your own views down your listeners’ and studio guest’s throats and that you usually gets somebody in to do that for you, and it appears that last Wednesday was no exception. So what happened then? Did you do a quick scan down your speed-dial favourites list to find a fellow cyclist? And really, was there nobody else available other than Rent-A-Gob Peter Tatchell? Now Tatchell may or may not have interesting views on all sorts of matters (he was last on your programme talking about the Bahrain F1 race) but I never had him down as an expert on all things cycling. And I was correct! The item turned in to the usual JV Show two-against-one discussion (and I use that word in its loosest possible sense) with you putting words in to Griffin’s mouth, which he had to deny. Tatchell added little other than some hare-brained ideas and presumably collected a completely unjustified payment cheque when he left. This was nothing other than an ambush wrapped up in some very obvious London-only bias.

Moving on to last Thursday then...

1) ZIGZAG ECONOMY - As we fall back into recession we’re told the economy is zigzagging. If you think about your business or employment prospects are they up one day and down the next? : With the BBC celebrating the return to recession, I am going to tell that my employment prospects remain unchanged at non-existent, but that my business still seems to be going nicely. Next...

2) ABORTION - Are you somebody who had an abortion when you were young and now can’t get pregnant or left it too late? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : I've never had an abortion, but I can't get pregnant. Other than read the Daily Mail, what should I do? Next...

3) GORDON BROWN - Rupert Murdoch said that Gordon Brown declared war on his company when The Sun declared war on the Labour government. Whatever was said or wasn’t said, does part of you think - good on Brown for taking on the power of Murdoch : More Murdoch? What a surprise! Not even the smallest part of me thinks that. Perhaps Brown only did it to annoy Tony Blair (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14785501), but I notice that Murdoch is still around and Brown has vanished in to justifed obscurity. Next...

4) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - “I Love Where I Live” continues with love letters to the place you call home. Today we reach Scotland, the highlands and islands, the glens and the great cities of Glasgow and Edinburgh : Nice place, although I've not been there since 2009.

And then there was Friday's offering...

1) WAKING THE WORKSHY - The head of the government’s Troubled Families programme Louise Casey says council officials may need to turn up at people’s homes at 7am to get parents and children out of bed. Do bureaucrats need to wake up the workshy? : There is no mention of waking people up on the news page you link to but it does say: David Cameron says he is determined to "get to grips" with tackling England's most troubled families by pledging a network of troubleshooters. Ah, England ... bless. Not Wales then. Next...

2) SIERRA LEONE - The former Liberian leader Charles Taylor is found guilty of aiding and abetting war crimes in Sierra Leone : Good. Next...

 

3) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - We head to the South of England for the last day of "I Love Where I Live," your love letters to the place you call home : I used to live there, and I'm glad I don't anymore. I loved the way you informed us that the South of England streches from "Southend to Penzance". I'm not sure the proud people of Cornwall will have liked that, I think they prefer the term "West of England". Next...

 

4) FLANNELS - The decline of the flannel. Is it no longer an essential accessory in the bathroom? Find our more in this article from the Telegraph : I still have many and use one every day, but.... errrr... oh, hang on... nearly nodded off there... what was the question again?

 

What have I learnt from the BBC in the past few days? Well, Penzance is in the South of England (you, last week). "April showers" will last until May (BBC weather forecast this morning). Simon Cowell has an "unauthorised autobiography" out (news report on the Danii Minogue upset). And Billy Bragg was born in 1957 but was a "teenager throughout the 1970s" (Johnny Walker this afternoon). Perhaps accuracy is over-rated.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - Oh God, it's back on again tomorrow...

16/04/12 and 17/04/12

Tuesday, and I've just listened to your diatribe with Ken. As usual, there was nothing to give me any confidence that you have even the slightest clue what you are talking about, but let's have a quick look at yesterday's programme first...

1) ANDERS BREIVIK - It’s the trial in Norway of Anders Breivik, accused of murdering 77 people. Is Norway treating him more liberally then we would in Britain? : And the point of this question is what, exactly? Norway has its legal system, and we have ours. Now get over it. Next...

2) STILES - There’s a report that in Dartmoor, people want the stiles to be removed from country walks, because disabled and overweight people are having trouble getting over them. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : Another one from the Mail, so it must be true. And your discussion with Ken today confirms that to be true. So what? Slow news day, was it? Next...

3) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - We launch a Radio 2 special which celebrates every single part of the United Kingdom, “I love where I live”. It’s a one-minute love letter to your town, place or village : I love where I live, that's why I live here. Easy! Next...

4) BIONICS - We meet the fifteen-year old with a bionic arm. He lost the arm when he was very young, now science has replaced it : Wonderful!

On to today then...

1) FRACKING - Today we debate fracking: Will it create almost limitless supplies of cheap natural gas, or will it cause earthquakes and ruin the environment? : I must have missed the news the day the Blackpool Tower collapsed and fell in to the sea following the "earthquake" last year... The word "debate" usually means a frank discussion by parties of differing views. You mentioned on Ken's show that your (only?) guest on this item would be somebody from the "Ribble Estuary Against Fracking" (REAF, presumably) campaign. And your other guest, who will argue the benefits of fracking will be ... non-existent, presumably. I'd had enough of this listening to Chris Evans this morning who gave the kind of one-sided argument of which you would have been proud. My opinion on fracking is of no matter, but I do object to you and your colleagues continuing with your biased messages. It was on 24th May that you last discussed this, and a subsequent email exchange between myself and so-called BBC Science Correspondent Roger Harrabin failed to give me any kind of impression that he had a clue what he was talking about:

Me: You said: "It is the fracking process - creating tiny explosions to shatter hard shale rocks and release gas 10,000 feet underground - that has caused so much controversy in the US. Some householders claim that shale gas leaking into their drinking supply causes tap water to ignite.". The suggestion is that shale gas percolates nearly two miles up through the earth's crust and then seeps through metal or plastic pipes containing water under pressure and then bursts in flames out of water taps with no source of ignition. Would you care to suggest how this can happen? Do you have any documentary evidence of such an occurrence?

Harrabin: Many share your incredulity.

Me: So you made it up then? No facts, no news!

Harrabin: No that's silly

If he can't explain his own writings, why would you be any different? And I've just listened to Richard Black spout his usual biased rubbish, and he'll get a gold star from somebody for crow-barring "global warming" in to the discussion. Well done Richard, I don't believe a word you say! And I've also listened to the woman from REAF who, shall we say, failed to convince me that she even knows what day of the week it is. Presumably the people you speak to (a) use electricity, (b) hate nuclear energy, (c) hate the burning of fossil fuels, and (d) fail to acknowledge the inefficiency and impracticality of wind farms. Unfortunately they also fail to come up with any other alternative, other than a UK with no electricity.

So let me re-word that question for you: Will it create almost limitless supplies of cheap natural gas, or will the UK media cause so much hysteria amongst an ill-informed population that any possible benefits will be missed? Next...

2) EMERGENCY LANDING - A Virgin Atlantic plane makes an emergency landing at Gatwick Airport. Some passengers said the cabin crew panicked. We investigate : You? Investigate? Don't make me laugh. You don't investigate anything. You'll read it in the Daily Mail. You said on Ken's show, "We're still checking the facts". Checking the facts? Blimey ... it has never bothered you before, why is this story so different? After all, you didn't bother to check the facts when talking about Chris Davies MEP's earnings, did you? Next...

3) WIRRAL COUNCIL - Should Wirral council be sponsoring its local football club Tranmere Rovers, when it’s closing down care homes for the elderly? Find out more in this article from The Telegraph : Oooh, a vote. I don't live on the Wirral and I hate football so, and on the basis that you like everybody to have an opinion, here is mine: I could not care less. Next...

4) SAILING MISHAPS - A father and son who bought a yacht from an online auction site crashed it into the rocks off Guernsey. We hear tales of inexperienced idiots and sailing mishaps : And your special guest will be the captain of the Costa Concordia, presumably? Radio about idiots made by idiots presumably for idiots. Target audience! Get Richard Black back on.

The Jeremy Vine Show - not today, thank you


UPDATE: After a visit to http://biased-bbc.com I was reminded of this:
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100111487/how-many-died-in-the-great-blackpool-earthquake-of-11/

12/04/12 and 13/04/12

I just had to go out in the car and had the radio on and listened to your show for a short while before re-tuning. Bloomin' heck, that "Dangerous Age" song by Smiling Paul Weller is dreadful. But then he hasn't written a decent song since "Down In A Tube Station At Midnight" in 1978. Can you tell that, unlike yourself, I'm not a fan?

Anyway, let's deal with yesterday's show first...

1) TINNITUS - A man stabs himself to death while waiting to get treatment for tinnitus. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : I'm not sure what to say about this, other than how awful. I've been to many, many gigs in my time and occasionally come away with a bit of a "whistle", but it usually has gone by the next morning. My wife has been known to wear earplugs at such events, and finds that it can actually add to her enjoyment. Next...

2) ARSON - A rioter is jailed for eleven and a half years for starting a fire which destroyed an iconic furniture store that had been run by the same family for five generations. Did arsonists destroy your family firm? : I don't have a family firm, it is just me! Next...

3) BLIND AUTHOR - A police force uses forensic techniques to recover a novel which was being written by a blind woman whose pen had run out. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : This is one of those stories that can make you feel good about the world in which we live, but other than giving due praise to the police I am left puzzled as to what there was to discuss yesterday. I learnt all I needed to know about this from R2's news bulletins. Next...

4) CHARITIES - Are rich philanthropists dodging tax by giving money to charity? : Not being a millionaire myself, and not having access to the government's taxation records, I have no idea what the answer to this question might be. What do you do?

Blimey, what a selection. I'm glad I missed that one. Is it any better today?

1) BURMA - David Cameron becomes the first British prime minister in more than sixty years to visit Burma. If you have connections with the country, do you welcome his trip? : I have no connections to Burma. Next...

2) FLAT HEAD SYNDROME - If your baby has so-called flat head syndrome, do you allow them to grow out of it or put a crash helmet on them to reshape the skull? : I've just checked and we still don't have any children. Somebody I know has a Harley-Davidson Flat Head motorbike (http://www.flathead-bobbers.com/flathead_1942/images-hd0219/1942_Harley_Flathead_WLA_Bobber_468x322.jpg) and he wears a crash helmet. Does that count? Next...

3) EYE-GOUGING - A man who blinded his girlfriend by gouging her eyes has admitted causing grievous bodily harm with intent : Again, how awful. Next...

 

4) TITANIC - Why did the Titanic sink so fast? We speak to an expert on the science and engineering of the ill-fated vessel : Oh good, an expert. And science and engineering too ... how will you cope? It is 13:13 as I am writing this and you haven't done this item yet, so here are some questions for your expert:

 

 - Comparing the platework and port hole layouts for RMS Olympic and RMS Titanic shows they were quite different when being built but, strangely, one seemed to become the other before Titanic left Belfast. How does your expert explain this?

 

 - RMS Olympic was involved in a major collision with HMS Hawke in the Solent that caused so much damage that it destroyed the hull ribs and the keel, causing it to be only operable on one (out of three) engines as it limped back to Belfast for repairs. Harland & Wolff patched it up, but it was never going to be good as new again, and it was made worse by White Star's insurance failing to pay out. With Olympic out of service, Titanic still under construction and no insurance money White Star was losing a LOT of money. What is your expert's view of the possibility that the two ships were swapped and an accident was staged that would cause one ship to be lost, and so guaranteeing an insurance payout?

 

 - Can your expert explain why the sea trials of the ship called Titanic (formerly the damaged and repaired Olympic after the swap) were nowhere near as comprehensive as they should have been, and would that reduction in trials be caused by it having a weakened hull?

 

 - What is your expert's view that the staging of the "accident" went horribly wrong and resulted in the huge loss of life?

 

 - How does your expert explain how The Californian (nearest ship to Titanic when it sank and also owned by White Star) had been laid up for weeks waiting for coal (caused by a miners strike), but suddenly it was coaled, left port in a hurry with a cargo of blankets and warm clothing, sped across the Atlantic - and stopped, as though it was waiting for something.

 

 - What is your expert's view on why the sinking of the Titanic is well-known, yet 1415 people died on HMS Hood and with only THREE survivors but few people know about that. Similarly, during the sinking of the Wilhelm Gustloff (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Wilhelm_Gustloff) over NINE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED men, women and children lost their lives, and that event too is not commonly known.

 

I think I'll listen to this, just to see how wrong you get it!

 

No surprise that you didn't use any of my questions, but Mike from Essex was good. He'd seen a TV programme about the sinking, but seemed to have forgotten all about it. Quality radio!

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - starting your weekend with a story about death 

11/04/12

Well, this is nice. It has just gone 09:00 and Richard Madeley is droning on about nothing in particular, as usual, on the radio in the next room. Hang on... click, off, gone... there, that's better.

There have been some interesting retweets on your feed in the last 24 hours. The first one was this from @RadioToday:
Radio 2's @theJeremyVine to do Bristol Q&A:http://radiotoday.co.uk/2012/04/radio-2s-jeremy-vine-to-do-bristol-qa/ #radionews
The link takes us to page that says: Jeremy’s session for the Radio Academy will cover his life, work and his love of radio. He’ll also talk about journalism and offer advice for all those wishing to enter the profession. The event is free for Radio Academy members and £10 for non-members.
I'm almost tempted to go, but in all honesty I can't be bothered. I'd love to hear your advice to journalists though. Will it include speculation, lieing, conjecture, illegal activities, arrogance, disrespect for the UK public and not getting caught? If not, what ARE you going to say?

Most of your retweets seem to be of the "Sometimes @theJeremyVine show is the only thing that gets me through the day" kind but you have posted a couple of "anti" messages, such as this one:
RT @Atko86: Because me and @Iainrobbo468 work with old dears we gotta listen to your pony radio show!!!! <~~~ COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
Having moved away from London nearly 30 years ago, it is a long time since I have heard the word "pony" used as rhyming slang, but well done you for retweeting an "anti" message. I'm not sure what blessings the messager was meant to be counting though.

And this one:
“@CanLaw: @theJeremyVine @radioleary @whichpennysmith Get a life, you pathetic ignorant loser” <~~~~ WHICH OF US? YOU HAVE TO NARROW IT DOWN
A poorly directed message there, and the "Get a life..." phrase seems to be a standard response by @CanLaw, but that was a good retort on your part. I get similar comments left on my blog from time to time by fans of your programme.

Anyway, enough of the joys of Twitter. What did I miss yesterday? Not much by the look of it...

1) TAX RETURNS - Should all MPs publish their tax returns? : If that meant I can see how Galloway makes his money then yes, they should. The BBC news page you link to says "Four of the Mayoral candidates - Mr Livingstone, Conservative Boris Johnson, Lib Dem Brian Paddick and the Green Party's Jenny Jones - published their tax records after the Conservative and Labour candidates clashed last week.". I was unaware that Livingstone had actually provided full details but instead had only provided a sanitised version (http://order-order.com/2012/04/05/ken-is-the-14-5-former-climate-change-adviser-knocked-up-partial-figures/). Now, I know that research is not your strong point, but how could you get your programme guest's financial details so wrong? You spoke to Chris Davies MEP and said "In my hand, Chris Davies, I have got your tax return" and went on to say "it says employment 57657" at which point Mr Davies corrects you with a higher figure and one that coincides (within a few pounds) of what he has on his current tax return available on his web site (http://chrisdaviesmep.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Tax-Return-2011.pdf). So tell me Jeremy, why did your Researchers (and I use that term merely as a job title and not as a description of what they actually do) fail you so badly again? And why should anyone believe a single word that you say? Next...

2) HOMELESS IMMIGRANTS - Homeless migrants who are living near a Northampton roundabout have been urged to speak to authorities or face eviction : From what I heard when you spoke to Zoe yesterday, it was the roundabout aspect of this story that was of more interest to you than the homeless migrants. So, I had a good think to try and remember where my nearest roundabout is and, having remembered, I checked Google Street View to see that it is only about 5 feet in diameter, built entirely of brick and contains four arrow traffic indicators. There was no sign of any homeless people. The BBC news page you link to is a classic, as it says "The migrants, known locally as the roundabout people, have set up home (using woodland) on the Barnes Meadow roundabout." and then says under the picture "It is not known whether the woodland at Barnes Meadow is still occupied". If this is such an important story that nobody could be bothered to check, why were you talking about it? Next...

3) MUGABE - We look at what has happened to the Zimbabwean opposition as the country denies reports that its president Robert Mugabe is dying in a hospital in Singapore. Find out more in this article from the Mirror : I'm going to have to think about this for a second. Who should I believe? The Zimbabwe authorities? The Daily Mirror? You? They are all as trustworthy as each other. Hmmm.... Next...

4) AFTERNOON TEA - And have you been astonished at the high cost of afternoon tea? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : Never having partaken, my answer is "No". Like the BBC, these establishments can charge what they like. Unlike the BBC, we consumers have a choice whether to pay.

The Jeremy Vine Show - Pony and trap ... you can work it out yourself!

09/04/10 and 10/04/10

Hi Jeremy,

Remember me? I'm back! I bet you're pleased about that. I've had a couple of weeks off while I do some stuff and reassess what I want to do with regard to your programme and my blog. But you need not worry: This festering sore is not going to go away just yet. Instead, I am going to email you (and update my blog) as and when I can rather than trying to do it as your programme starts. Frankly, I have got better things to do than tell you what I think of your programme, and this is not helped by the incompetence and tardiness of whoever it is (who is it?) who is responsible for updating your show web page every day. In my recent second appeal letter to the BBC Trust I have promised to stop filing complaints about how late these updates can be some days, so my best course of action is to stop waiting for them and write this rubbish later in the day and after somebody has done the job that I pay them to do.

All this means, of course, is that I will no longer be telling you "I won't be listening today because..." and future messages will tell you simply what I think of the topics you decided to discuss on previous shows. The advantages to me are:
 - no time constraint
 - the web page will have been updated
 - I can have a good laugh at any relevant bits by using iPlayer

A win-win-win situation, I think!

I wonder what I missed while I was having a break? Well, actually I couldn't care less what I missed to be honest, but I do know that I missed Feltz talking (talking? or fawning?) to Galloway. So that was a result then. I cannot think of two people I would rather never hear ever again.

I bet I didn't miss you discussing this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2126040/BBC-bias-Is-Corporation-representing-British-nation.html

The BBC has a duty to represent the British nation...but is it doing so?

There's an interesting dialogue taking place on the internet.  It can be seen in blogs, chatrooms and on social network sites and it runs something like this: why is the BBC TV news output so selective in what - and who - it chooses to cover? It's fair to say, though, that there exists an angry crowd of people pounding on their keyboards and some of what they have to say about our Great British institution is less than endearing. Just as importantly, I feel, is the fact that dissenting voices have increased in volume and intensity over the past couple of years and show no sign of abating.

Perhaps I should get a job at the Daily Mail? Or perhaps not ... <shudder>

And then there was this one:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9189380/BBC-accused-of-TV-licence-rip-off.html

BBC accused of TV licence rip-off

The BBC is over-charging millions of people for their licence fees by selling "annual" permits that only last 11 months, it can be disclosed. The corporation has been making up to £25m a year through the little-known loophole, which has been condemned as "unfair" and a "rip off". Any viewer buying a TV licence for the first time is charged £145.50 for a year-long permit. But under current arrangements, the new licence expires 12 months from the first day of the month in which it is purchased. This means that an ‘annual’ licence bought on April 30 2012 will actually run out at midnight on March 31 2013.

The BBC? Ripping off the people who fund it? Who'd have thought such a thing could ever happen. Oh, hang on, silly me.

And then, of course, there is possibly the biggest organised cover-up of criminal behaviour ever seen in the UK:
http://order-order.com/2012/04/10/britains-biggest-establishment-cover-up-conspiracy-thousands-of-crimes-committed-by-over-300-journalists-protected-from-exposure-by-a-judge-and-newspaper-editors/

In the course of the Inquiry Leveson has received prima facie evidence of some thousands of crimes committed by hundreds of journalists. The Operation Motorman files gathered by the Information Commissioner expose a culture of criminality in the day-to-day functioning of the media. The corrupting of police and other offices of the crown was a matter of course not only at the News of the World and other Murdoch titles, it was also the case at the Mail and the Mirror newspaper groups as well. The silence on this issue from these newspapers is because they fear a circular firing squad. Leveson has the evidence required to initiate criminal actions and civil actions by thousands of victims of crimes committed by newspaper journalists. Guido challenged Leveson to his face to publish the evidence, thus allowing the victims of industrial scale illegal invasions of privacy to get justice. Leveson claimed it was difficult nine years on. Guido understands that there have been two applications to Leveson to release the Operation Motorman files. The applications, heard in private, were refused. So in Britain we have a situation where the judge charged with investigating the crimes carried out by the media is covering up their crimes. There is an overwhelming public interest in the victims getting justice.

Go on then, discuss that one day. I dare you. Journalism in this country is facing its biggest crisis with huge swathes of the population simply not believing a word that ANY journalist says, including you. So try and explain why your journalist bretheren should not be shot in front of their families. I'd listen. To put it in simple terms: JOURNALISTS ARE SCUM!

One thing I didn't miss was you saying last Friday, "You can tweet me at @TheJeremyVine and we can discuss these topics out of hours". Really? Can I really discuss this stuff with you? If so, let's give it a go. Oh, and you'll need to unblock my Twitter account first ... won't you.

Let's start the day-by-day analysis by looking at yesterday's programme (Monday 9th April). Working on a Bank Holiday ... I can't remember you doing that before!

1) BOAT RACE DISRUPTION - The protestor who disrupted this year's Boat Race has now been charged. How do we avoid similar incidents at the Olympics or the Jubilee celebrations? : My interest in anything sporty is legend and as close to non-existent as it is possible to be. BUT, had I have been in one of those boats on Saturday I would have made sure that this idiot had got an accidental clout from my oar before the race was stopped. I'm just listening to this on iPlayer and waiting patiently for you to come up with a concrete proposal ... ah, here we go: "If this person had been running in to a Presidential motorcade he would have been shot" and "If he thought we would have been shot for swimming in the water he wouldn't have done it". An interesting suggestion Jeremy, that'll boost the TV ratings. And the security expert you interviewed said "There is no way you are going to prevent it". This was then followed by some inane comments from your inane listeners (shooting with an underwater harpoon, for example). And guess what? Other than shooting the person involved, you failed to come up with any useful suggestion. I bet Teresa May was devastated. OK, enough of iPlayer now. Remind me, what was the point of this discussion again? Next...

2) RAUNCHY MUSIC VIDEOS - Should raunchy music videos get an 18 rating? : What, and deny legions of teenage boys 30 seconds of pleasure? You are such a spoilsport. Next...

3) DOMESTIC SERVICE - Was one of your parents or grandparents in domestic service? : No, they were not. I love questions like that. Next...

4) ANIMAL IN HEADLIGHTS - A driver writes off his Ferrari trying to avoid a hedgehog in the road. Do you swerve when you see an animal in your headlights? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : Stop, yes. Swerve, no. We get all sorts of wildlife on the roads around here: hedgehogs, sheep, rabbits, cows, deer, badgers, foxes, owls. I've managed to avoid them all. And good to see the Mail is still providing garbage for your programme, especially when it involves a story from Germany. Was there no UK news then?

OK, that's one day down so perhaps I should do today's show too. I did notice at about 1:30 that the web site hadn't been updated. Some things never change, but that particular failing of the BBC is no longer an issue ... so here we go...

1) EXTRADITION - The European Court of Human Rights rules that five terrorism suspects - including the radical Islamic cleric, Abu Hamza - can be extradited to the US : I hear that Guantanamo Bay is nice at this time of year. An interesting tweet from Stewart Jackson MP appeared on your feed earlier: Went head to head with human rights lawyer @TheJeremyVine show. Out of touch & publicly funded (mostly). Public have human right to be safe. Out of touch and publicly funded? Who WAS he talking about? Next...

2) CHARITY FUNDRAISERS - Volunteer fundraisers in Aldeburgh withdraw their support from the Macmillan cancer charity because they say the organisation hired door-to-door collectors who used high-pressure techniques. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : Living in a rural area as I do, the number of "cold" door-to-door callers that we suffer per month can probably be counted on one foot of a three-toed sloth. A well-known double-glazing company who tell me I should "fit the best" are regular if infrequent visitors, but even they are starting to understand the meaning of "Go away, and get off my property". I find that works quite nicely. It does not make economic sense for charitable organisations to target this area, and any charity I choose to support would not do such a thing (and I would soon cease to support them if they did). I find it amazing that some people allow themselves to be ambushed in the street and are then conned in to signing a direct debit for a montly payment to a charity not necessarily of their choice. Oh, hang on... I remember you saying to Zoe earlier today that this happened to you. Says it all really. Next...

3) TITANIC - One hundred years ago today the Titanic set sail from Southampton. Do you have a personal connection with someone who was on that fateful voyage? : No. Instead of reading all that "Night To Remember" stuff, get yourself a copy of "Titanic : The Ship That Never Sank" and a copy of the Board Of Trade enquiry in to the sinking. You might learn something. Next...

4) HAIRDRESSERS - Hairdressers are angered by EU proposals to encourage hairdressers to have regular ‘social dialogue’ to encourage ‘mental wellbeing’ in the workplace. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : And the Mail again ... bless! Sporting as I do a fine head of skin, my barber (he is not a hairdresser and would be offended by the term if used to describe him) does not take long to do a trim around the edges every couple of months. Our conversation is usually driven by me, and I have often caused a chuckle among other waiting customers when I have asked him "Have you been anywhere nice on holiday then?". Our bi-monthly meetings usually end with a genuinely warm and friendly handshake as I give him £7 and remind him that he has only done half a job while he tells me to get the hell out of his shop, and don't come back until the next time. He is a top bloke, and he does a fine job.

 

So there we go. That was fun! Let's do it again soon.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - shooting is the only possible solution

Today's show 14/03/12

I'm busy today, so just a quick one...

 

1) ANIMAL RIGHTS ACTIVISTS - Scientists are angry that a campaign aimed at airlines and ferry companies by animal rights activists has succeeded in stopping much of the importation of mice needed for medical experiments : I listened to you talking to Ken when you described this as "an incredible story". Really? Am I missing something? And perhaps somebody learnt something today when you said the mice were "delivered on ferries and on planes, that's how you post stuff". BBC journalism at its best there! Our cats provide us with all the mice we need, thanks. Next...

2) COACH CRASH - A coach crash in a tunnel in Switzerland kills 28 people, 22 of them children. How dangerous are those long continental motorway tunnels? : This is a tragedy, but I have only ever travelled through long continental tunnels on a train. I am puzzled why you think the road tunnels have to be "continental" to be dangerous. Are the Dartford, Blackwall, Conwy, Hindhead, Medway, Saltash and Tyne tunnels all so perfect that it is impossible to hit something in them? I think not. Even more dangerous, in my opinion, are the overbridges on the M5 south west of Birmingham where the motorway was widened but the original bridges were left in place, resulting in the sudden narrowing of the carriageway and disappearance of the hard shoulder. You last discussed a major coach crash on 20th February when you suggested that it was the coach driver's fault that the crash occurred. Surely it has to be the driver or a mechanical failure with the coach that is to blame in the Swiss crash, and I am puzzled why you are singling out the construction of the tunnel to be at fault here. But then your programme would not be what it is without somebody or something to blame, would it? Next...

3) COMMUTER RAGE - A man found guilty of attacking a fellow train passenger, because his laptop was occupying a seat, has said all he was doing was standing up for middle class commuters who have a right to use a seat they’ve paid a lot for : And the Daily Mail makes its first appearance this week ... fantastic! Presumably this is what that particular rag counts as "news", so no wonder it is appearing on your programme today. I commuted from Hertfordshire in to London by train for 10 years in the 1970s and 1980s but I don't do it any more. Next...

4) ENCYCLOPAEDIA - The Encyclopaedia Britannica is to pulp its final edition after 244 years. Will you miss the joy of flicking through a proper encyclopaedia? : I've not used an encyclopaedia since I was at school a long time ago, so the answer to your question is "No".

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - what should it be filed under?

Today's show 08/03/12

Congratulations on a new record! Yesterday's web page update was the latest EVER in all of the years that I have been sending these messages to you. I can normally expect to find the page updated by late afternoon, but at 19:15 last night it had still not been done. It was, however, updated by 10:15 this morning, so perhaps the Jeremy Vine Show nightshift did it. However, we must all remember that "the programme holds the right to publish website content at a time convenient to it" and that we - the TV Licence Tax payers - have no right to complain about this, and anybody who does will end up on the BBC's Naughty Step with me.

So while we wait oh, so patiently for somebody get their finger out of their backside and do the job for which I pay them, let's look at some other BBC news that you won't be discussing today. Let's start with this, but note that the Telegraph's headline may be misconstrued so let me clarify: This is toast as in drinks, not toast as in with butter and marmalade:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9126618/BBC-expenses-Radio-2-boss-billed-for-toast-to-cost-cutters.html

BBC expenses: Radio 2 boss billed for toast to cost-cutters

A senior BBC executive, Bob Shennan, billed the corporation £220 for drinks as a thank you to staff charged with cutting costs, according to newly published expense bills. The Radio 2 controller made the claim in June last year for drinks for eight colleagues who helped implement ways to cut spending at the public broadcaster by £700million. The reason for the drinks bill submitted by the former controller of BBC Radio 5 Live, whose total remuneration package is £218,800, was given as “DGF thank you drinks for journalism”.

I am sure that somebody at the BBC thinks that this was money well spent, but I don't.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/mar/06/bbc-cbeebies-cbbc-epg

BBC boss says Sky does not give CBBC and CBeebies prominence on EPG

A senior BBC executive has accused BSkyB of reneging on its obligation to give public service channels such as CBeebies and CBBC "due prominence" on its electronic programme guide. BBC director of policy and strategy, John Tate, said CBeebies, the BBC's pre-school service, is now 13th on the EPG list of children's channels on Sky, with CBBC in 14th. Above it are channels such as Nicktoons, Boomerang and six Disney services.

BSkyB ... that'll be part of the Murdoch Empire - the same Murdoch Empire that the BBC has attacked on every possible occasion over the past year or so. No connection, surely? Isn't all fair in love, war and journalism?

Note that both articles start with "A senior BBC executive...". Is there any other kind?

11:55, here we go:

1) REMPLOY - 36 out of 54 of special Remploy factories, where disabled people have traditionally been given secure jobs, are to close. The government says they’re losing huge amounts of money and that money would be better spent helping far more disabled people find jobs in the open jobs market : I note the sentence "Labour called the decision "the wrong plan at the wrong time" from the BBC news page, but this is not the first time that Remploy's factories have been under threat unfortunately. Take a look at http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/6965756.stm which dates from August 2007 and says "Workers are to hold a month of marches and meetings aimed at keeping open 43 factories which employ disabled staff. The campaign will start in Aberdeen and end outside the Labour Party annual conference in Bournemouth next month.". This was followed by http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/7118979.stm from November 2007 which says "Twenty-eight of Remploy's 83 factories employing disabled workers are to close, Work and Pensions Secretary Peter Hain has said.". From the BBC's coverage I can only come to the conclusion that Labour thought they had the right plan at the right time back in 2007. Will you be asking Peter Hain about this today? Just for some balance, you understand. I thought not. Next...

2) OVERWEIGHT - Should a mother ever tell her daughter (or son for that matter) that they are overweight? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : The Daily Mail returns! Hooray! I am over 50, my mother is in her 80s and she still tells me I'm overweight. Unfortunately she thinks you are rude so she doesn't listen to your programme. Next...

3) RESPECT - Finally, how should people show respect for soldiers who die in Afghanistan if they don’t agree with the war? : I manage, and I can only hope that none of your listeners will be waiting for instructions on how to do this. Next...

4) LOST - Do you remember the old SOS messages before the news on Radio 4? A Manchester man who’s dangerously ill is desperately trying to trace his long lost son. Find out more in this article from the Manchester Evening News : No, I don't remember them. And I am not the chap you are looking for. Sorry.

The Jeremy Vine Show - escaping the BBC cuts, unfortunately

Today's show 06/02/12

Monday morning, but I'm just going to go back to Friday's programme for a moment. I know that inaccuracy and misinformation are a major part of your programme, but it only occurred to me on Saturday how inaccurate your reporting on Friday was concerning Mr Huhne. I am really annoyed with myself about missing THE point.

Your script said, quote: Chris Huhne and his wife will be charged over the speeding offence and the penalty points. He's resigned, but why should he - he's not yet been found guilty?
This text suggests it is the speeding offence that is the issue here, but that is just wrong. Your beloved BBC's news page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-16866127) reports it correctly: Chris Huhne has quit as energy secretary after learning he will be charged with perverting the course of justice over a 2003 speeding case.

This offence goes to the very root of our legal system and, consequently, I understand that offenders may face a life prison sentence. Huhne is the first Cabinet minister in living memory to be charged with a serious criminal offence, yet you made no mention of perverting the course of justice, did you? Why would that be then? Surely you were not trying to steer the discussion away from the real issue and turn it in to "it was only some speeding points". Surely? The BBC giving a Lib-Dem an easy ride through a major offence ... who'd have thought? Thank goodness he isn't a Tory.

I also sent you some questions for Martin Lewis and Cancellation Day:
Cancellation Day sounds like a great idea! I'd like to cancel my BBC TV Licence and continue to watch TV. What advice can you give me? How many threatening letters will I receive - and ignore - before they stop coming? And when the TVL thug knocks on my door, should I just tell him he is committing aggravated trespass and tell him to go away? Any advice gratefully received!

I've just checked the iPlayer and neither he nor you makes any mention of this easy way to save £145.50 a year. Did you pass my question on to him? Perhaps you just ran out of time while you discussed freedom-of-choice Sky subscriptions in preference to pay-up-or-we'll-send-the-boys-round BBC TV licences? Yes, that'll be it, I'm sure.

Today's issue that affects me: We were woken to a loud crash at 06:50 yesterday morning. Investigations revealed that one of our cats had knocked a load of stuff of the kitchen cupboard shelves. More investigations revealed evidence that the mouse we saw several weeks ago was still around, so we can only assume that cat was chasing mouse. We spent yesterday morning clearing and cleaning the cupboard and left it empty and with the door open overnight. Lots of activity at 07:20 this morning as cats are running around and one catches and despatches said mouse. But are there any more?

Can we take a quick look at the news stories that you won't be covering today. That'll be because they concern the BBC. Let's start here:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/christopherbooker/9061840/The-EU-mega-ships-and-a-paper-trail-of-warnings-that-still-remains.html

<Scroll down the page>
The BBC’s party line on our 'brave’ social workers

We have long been familiar with the way the BBC ignores, with impunity, its statutory obligation “to ensure that all controversial subjects are treated with due accuracy and impartiality”. There is an ever-growing list of issues, from the EU to climate change, on which its coverage follows a clear “party line”, so partisan that it amounts to little more than propaganda.

That sums up the situation nicely, don't you think?

Knowing how well you like "daddy or chips" comparisons, this may be of interest to you:
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2012/02/04/bacon-sandwiches-top-t-mobile-list-of-britain-s-50-greatest-loves-115875-23734631/

Bacon sandwiches top T-Mobile list of Britain's 50 greatest loves

Bacon sandwiches, roast dinners and the obligatory cup of tea have topped a list of what Britain really loves the most in a survey released by T-Mobile.
1 - Bacon sandwiches

2 - Roast dinners

3 - Cup of tea

4 - British history

5 - BBC

You will know from reading this rubbish every day that I am a fan of the bacon sandwich and I am not surprised that a bacon sandwich is more popular than the BBC. They are better value for money too!

OK... so let's see if Monday 6th February 2012 is THE DAY when you talk about an issue that affects me:

1) BIG FREEZE - As forecasters warn of dangerous ice after the weekend's snowfall, we discuss whether you should take in a homeless person in these freezing temperatures : Talking about the weather - again? Can't you just tell its a Monday. It was 12 years ago that The Independent (http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/snowfalls-are-now-just-a-thing-of-the-past-724017.html) wrote this: According to Dr David Viner, a senior research scientist at the climatic research unit (CRU) of the University of East Anglia,within a few years winter snowfall will become "a very rare and exciting event". "Children just aren't going to know what snow is," he said. Thank goodness we have experts like that. The ONLY reason you are discussing this is because it has affected London and the South East, so it automatically becomes important. Here in North Wales today it rained all day Saturday but was dry and sunny yesterday. Today is grey overcast with some light drizzle and very occasional glimpses of a watery sun. The temperature is 5degC and is predicted to rise to 7degC later. We have not had a frost since the middle of last week. Go on, tell the nation, they'd love to know that. And, on the basis that it is not freezing, the answer to your question is "No". What about you? Next...

2) DIAMOND JUBILEE - Former prime minister Sir John Major talks to us about the Queen on the sixtieth anniversary of her accession to the throne : Is she in the studio today? Oh... This has every possibility of ending up as a free-for-all row between pro- and anti-monarchists. I think I'll give it a miss, thanks. Next...

3) DIANE FRANKLIN - We speak to a woman whose quadriplegic son has just started to speak after twenty years. Find out more from Mail Online : First day of the week, and the Mail makes an appearance - yay! This is fantastic news, but - again - I have promised Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie that I will listen to them today. Sorry. Next...

4) SYRIA UNREST - Syrian forces have intensified their bombardment of the city of Homs. Does this prove that we should have intervened earlier? : From the weather to foreign policy in under two hours - fantastic. Who are the "we" that should maybe have intervened earlier? I wasn't aware that "we" had intervened at all.

It looks like I shall remain disappointed.

The Jeremy Vine Show - radio for Room 101

Today's show 26/01/12

Well, yesterday was a momentous day, thanks to you. I received an email from the BBC Complaints Department telling me that I was now subject to the BBC's "expedited complaints handling process" for two years. Which was nice. Apparently I have submitted "dozens" of complaints (actually only 19 in the last year) and any future complaints will be, basically, ignored unless I can find enough hoops to jump through to make somebody take notice. What does this mean to me? Well, not much really. Not one of my complaints has changed anything, other than being recorded in the mythical being that is the Audience Log. Whooppee. I have been invited to appeal to the BBC Trust about their decision, which I will do with relish. Free speech - alive and well at the BBC, sometimes.

I'll admit that I did briefly consider last night just giving up and stopping my blog, but common sense has prevailed and it WILL continue. I remain comforted by the fact that if you Google "jeremy vine" followed by any subject you have discussed in the last year then my blog appears on usually the first or second pages. That's good enough for me, and good enough to continue. I wonder if the Daily Mail would be interested in my story.

Now, does that invitation you sent me on 17th March ("We'd love to meet you") still stand? With this raising of the stakes, I might just take you up on it. Game on Jeremy!

Meanwhile your programme continues to broadcast poorly-researched ill-informed biased misinformation in the name of "news", and today will probably be no different...

1) ASPIRATION - Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg wants to cut taxes for the poor and increase taxes for the rich. President Obama wants to do the same in America. Is this the politics of envy and class war? We speak to someone who says we all need to be aspirational : Ooohhh... another "someone" telling me what to think. If Clegg wants to cuts taxes for "the poor" (you make them sound like something from a Dickens-era workhouse) then good luck to him, and as somebody who has only a minimal income then it can only benefit me. Is there another "someone" in the studio who earns, say, around £500,000 a year that you could ask about this? Just asking. For a friend. Next...

2) PETER TATCHELL - In his time, the human rights activist Peter Tatchell exposed homosexual bishops, has taken on Robert Mugabe and was beaten up for fighting for gay rights in Russia. Has he now become a national treasure? : You mentioned on Ken's show that Tatchell is famous for "fighting oppression". Have you got any contact details for him as I have some oppression that needs fighting (see above). Do you think he would be interested in helping me? My prediction is that this will just turn into another of your fawning eulogies, and as I am not a fan of Mr Tatchell and what he does, I think I'll give it a miss, thanks. National treasure? Yeah, right. Next...

3) TEENAGERS - Would you let your teenage daughter sleep with her boyfriend under your roof? : I have never been a teenage daughter but I was a teenage son, and this happened to me once, many years ago. I bit of a "discussion" took place with my parents until I mentioned that it was not and never had been my intention for us to share a room. I resolved at the time that I would insist on my parents sleeping in separate rooms should they ever stay with me, but sadly that opportunity has never arisen. Anyway, I am 30-odd years away from being a teenager, and we have none of our own, so this item - as usual - has no relevance to me. Next...

4) REJECTED HONOURS - They’ve finally published the long list of people who have turned down a gong. If you were offered, would you decline a CBE, MBE or knighthood? : The Lunch Time Loather MBE. Sir Lunch Time Loather. Sounds good, doesn't it? Yeah, I'd be happy with either of those. Just one thing, who is the mysterious "They"? Is this a group of "someones" and "somebodys"? Or is it that just the font of all quality research, Wikipedia? (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Declining_a_British_honour) Good, isn't it? Try looking up oil-fired central heating one day.

The Jeremy Vine Show - tell us what you think, unless you've been banned, of course

UPDATE: Surprise, surprise. The "teenagers" story was nicked from the Daily Mail: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2091807/Would-YOU-let-teenage-daughter-sleep-boyfriend-home.html

Today's show 24/01/12

14,000 and counting...

We live in interesting times, and while you were away I had an email from the BBC Complaints Department. It was in response to my complaint that you had spent too much time covering the Costa Concordia capsize, and in it they referred to me as a "viewer" and to your programme as "television output", so the message has to be taken with a certain amount of sceptisim. However, they did tell me: Factors such as how much national interest there is in the subject matter, whether it is news that has just come in and needs immediate coverage, and how unusual the story is will all play a part in deciding the level of coverage in programmes like Jeremy Vine.

So, how about discussing a story today that IS in the National Interest, needs immediate coverage and is unusual? I am, of course, referring to BBC Director General Mark Thompson's appearance at the Leveson Inquiry yesterday. I have found two reports that I can link to (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-16677720 and http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/leveson-inquiry/9033324/Leveson-Inquiry-BBC-spent-300000-on-private-detectives-says-Mark-Thompson.html). The BBC page includes a short video in which Mr Thompson shows his inability to string a coherent sentence together...
The thinking was, errr, we, we, I, I took the decision to, ummm, with colleagues, erm, erm, and, errr, erm, after discussions with the, with the Chairman of the BBC Trust to, to do a review, ummm, because the BBC is, is the biggest journalastic organisation in this country, ummm, ummm, evidence had come to light, errr, of, ummm, this practice being used by other, ummm, errr, organisations, at least one other organisation, or individuals in that other organisation, and it, it seemed to me that, erm, that as part of the BBC's overall desire to assure the highest possible standards of its journalism it's appropriate to ask the question, errr, errr, errr, errr, is there any evidence, errr, errr, errr, that that, what, what, what we are told, errr, was happening at the News of The World has ever been done at the BBC.

Give that man a pay rise! Don't you love the way he went from "other organisations" to "at least one other organisation" and then to "individuals in that other organisation"? Make your mind up and get your facts right man!

Perhaps the BBC should get a new motto. How about "Nation, errr, shall speak, ummm, errr, peace, errr, unto, ummm, nation"?

While the BBC is under attack from all sides for all sorts of reasons, would you agree that this response hardly instills confidence in us - the TV Licence Poll Tax payers - that Thompson is worth every penny of his £675,000 salary (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/mediatechnologyandtelecoms/8438477/BBC-boss-Mark-Thompson-could-see-pay-cut-Lord-Patten-suggests.html) and the Best Man For The Job is in charge? No. of course you don't.

From the BBC news page:
The inquiry heard that between January 2005 and July 2011, the BBC spent £310,000 on 232 instances when private investigators were used - of which news accounted for 43 occasions, at a cost of £174,500, with the rest for TV programmes.

£310,000 of your listeners' money!?!?! Outrageous! Would you agree that this was, perhaps, a waste of money? No, of course you don't.

He (Thompson) added: "The BBC is not a business and it might well be that someone running a media business might take a different view from the view that I took as director general of the BBC.".

Not a business? Yeah, right.

Thompson said: "The BBC is a public service broadcaster. It is committed to be the most trusted, trustworthy source of news in the world and we want to maintain the highest possible standards in all matters, including matters relating to privacy."

Is this the same BBC that I listen to and watch every day? Or am I living in a parallel universe? The BBC promotes its own agenda and so is not a public service broadcaster. There is a big difference between committing to be the most trusted and actually meeting that commitment. The BBC is now squeezing the last bits of life out of a crumbling reputation earned many years ago. Would you agree with that? No, of course you don't.

Who cares what "the world" thinks? They don't pay for the BBC - we do! Millions of families throughout this land are compelled by law to pay a licence fee so that this buffoon and his cronies can receive millions of pounds a year to brainwash the population into believing their biased propaganda broadcast in the name of "news". Would you agree with that? No, of course you don't.

And what was that about privacy? That will be the same privacy that prevents me - a funder of the BBC - finding out how much your trips to India and Iceland cost, how many complaints were made about your programme, and how many other users you have blocked on Twitter. Pah!

National Interest: Check. Just come in: Check. Needs immediate coverage: Check. Unusual: Check.

And while this is going on, it has been revealed (http://tv-licensing.blogspot.com/2012/01/bbc-confirms-responsibility-for-heinous.html) by the BBC's own FOI Department that the BBC itself authorised the wording used in 3 million letters sent out last year to innocent citizens who happened to live at an address where no TV licence was registered. The wording used was "We want to ensure you have the information you may need before a hearing is set at your local court". Threaten them ... yeah, that'll work. Guilty until proved innocent!

National Interest: Check. Just come in: Check. Needs immediate coverage: Check. Unusual: Check.

So come on Jeremy, they tick all the boxes! It is time to ignore your "BBC Can Do No Wrong" rule and discuss these stories today. I'll listen!

Today's issue that affects me: Why should I renew my TV Licence? No, really, why should I? I wouldn't bother with writing to you every day if I was not paying for this rubbish!

And, as usual, you never fail to disappoint me...

1) DRUG MULES - Drugs smugglers will get lighter sentences if they've been exploited by others. We talk to someone who was jailed for being a drugs mule : Now, let me think ... no, I've never done this. You mentioned that you have "a woman" coming on the show to talk of her exploits. Perhaps she should just have said "No". Next...

2) BENEFITS ROW - A row has blown up over whether families on benefit are declared homeless if two older children have to share a bedroom. We look at the pros and cons of children sharing a room : Now, let me think ... no, I've never done this. And who voted for those Bishops in the House of Lords? And why do they have so much to say about benfits, yet remain strangely silent when something sordid and/or corrupt concerning the Church comes to light? Next...

3) MISSED DIAGNOSIS - A woman says she has been given eighteen months to live after doctors failed to diagnose her cancer on thirteen occasions. Find out more from Mail Online: All hail the Daily Mail! I have been the subject of a misdiagnosis but it was quickly identified and the correct treatment given. I went on to make a full recovery. I think you should use your celebrity status to promote this poor lady's campaign and I look forward to seeing this on her web site (www.helpruthie.co.uk) later. Go on Jeremy, just for once, MAKE A DIFFERENCE! Next...

4) COSTA CONCORDIA SURVIVOR - We speak (TO) Rose Metcalf, one of the British survivors of the Costa Concordia cruise ship disaster in Italy. Watch Rose talking to BBC Breakfast : Yay! The Costa Concordia appears for a FIFTH day. My valued blog reader Will will be pleased after a prediction that you would do five days on this story. With this amount of coverage, do you consider your Target Audience to be likely to partake of a cruise? If so, no wonder I find nothing of interest on your programme.

The Jeremy Vine Show - news, errr, ummm, views, erm, errr, and, and, errrr, live, ummm, guests

Today's show 18/01/12

11:31 and I am listening to you on Ken's show and ... what's this? ... your web page has been updated. Well done! This means that I get this rubbish written before PMQs starts at 12, which I will watch with interest and in preference to your programme.

 

Talking of this rubbish, you will be interested to know that readership of my blog is growing nicely, with 125 unique visitors yesterday. Total visitors for the month 20th December to 18th January (including the ten days or so when you did not broadcast and I did not write) is 1531. Compare this with, say, the 1061 visitors for the whole of October and it is pretty clear that my readership is growing nicely. Again, I thank my readers for sparing their valuable time each day.

 

Going back to yesterday's programme... Interesting to see that The Daily Telegraph has removed the cyclist/copper video from their news page, and there has been some suggestions that the tape is not quite as current as they made out and may be up to a year old. But you wouldn't have checked this because you read it in the paper, and they are never wrong....!

 

So, no Leveson? No Miliband? No new London airport? No news? Apparently not...

 

1) COSTA CONCORDIA - Have you heard the tape of the Italian captain being told to return to his sinking ship? Do you feel any sympathy for him? We talk to someone who says he’s been made a scapegoat. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : For the third day running..... Zzzzzzzzz. Have I heard the tape? No. Do I feel sympathy? No. But some poor misguided fool there thinks this will make good radio. And look: you have another mysterious "someone" on the show. Where do you get them from? How can I apply to be a "someone"? I'd love to be one so that I can come on your show and spout irrelevancies in the vain hope that somebody might believe what I am saying. You keep labouring the point that the cruise company appointed the captain and so they should take responsibility for his actions, but that could also relate to your beloved BBC. If (when!) you make a mistake who takes responsibility for your actions? You? Or the BBC? It was, of course, the BBC that appointed you. Next...

 

2) BIG ISSUE SELLER - A Romanian woman has been told she can receive housing benefit because she sells the Big Issue. Is selling the Big Issue a proper job? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : I have no idea, or interest as this story is from the Mail. I've just checked their web site and my nearest outlet for the Big Issue is in Birmingham, which is 120 miles away. Ask me one on capital cities of the world. Next...

 

3) MASSAGE - We discuss the primary school in Sheffield where children are encouraged to massage each other. The headmaster says it’s great for health and relaxation, but the parents don’t like it : No children, not a parent, don't live in Sheffield, don't need to listen. Next...

 

4) WIKIPEDIA - The owners of Wikipedia have shut it down for the day to protest against proposed anti-piracy laws in America that they claim will restrict its use. Are you someone whose life has been changed by Wikipedia? : No, my life has not been changed, but I do find it a useful tool. You asked on Ken's show "Are we too reliant on Wikipedia?". Perhaps you should use it more, because then you might have known that a Spitfire has only one seat and that the Germans did not have jets until the closing months of WW2. Just a thought. However, I can't help but think that today would be a good day to go to a pub quiz.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - we don't do real news