30/04/12, 01/05/12 and 02/05/12

I've got some catching up to do, and a convenient break in work-related matters allows me some time to do so, so best get on with it...

Monday produced this load of old rubbish...

1) KHALIL DALE - A British aid worker Khalil Dale is beheaded in Pakistan. He has been described as a gentle man who lived to help others in war zones : Absolutely tragic, but what did your discussion change? Anything? At all? Let me guess... Next...

2) RECESSION - We’re joined by BBC Business editor Robert Peston. We ask “is it possible to talk ourselves into a recession?” : The answer to your question is "Yes" and the BBC will be leading the campaign to do so. You said on Ken's show about Peston: Does he have to have that gleam in his eye as he talks about the recession? The answer to that question is also "Yes", simply because he is paid by and works for the BBC. Like you, it is his job to do so. When the figures were released and the floodgates opened at the BBC as you searched frantically for someone to talk down the economy. I can only guess the jubilation when the BBC found a fellow doom monger by the name of Raymond Moan (yes, really), a building supplies businessman from Northern Ireland. Mr Moan was used on every news broadcast from then on with the BBC ignoring anybody with a different view, as usual. Next...

3) RED KITE - Have you been attacked by a red kite? : I was hit by one in a park when I was a child. I cannot remember the colour for sure, but I think it was blue and yellow. Oh... that kind of kite. No, I've never been attacked by one of those. You said on Ken's show when talking about Pomeranians: I don't know what size of dog that is. Is that not the kind of basic information that you would need to discuss this topic? Were you winging it (pun intended) again Jeremy? And from my knowledge of birds of prey, of which we have many around here, the behaviour and description sound more like a buzzard to me. Next...

4) MISSILES - Residents who live in flats in the East End have been told that they could well have an air-to-air missile on their roof to protect the Olympics : East End of where? Oh, you'll be talking about that there London. There was a classic Jeremy Vine open-mouth-and-insert-foot moment on Ken's show when you said: Surface to air is a bit of a misnomer as they will be on top of a block of flats. How is that a misnomer? It is an entirely accurate description. Was this the second time in one programme when you did not have a clue what you were talking about? Sounds like it to me! And can I have a missile on my roof, please? Target coordinates: W1W 2NY.

On to Tuesday then...

1) FORDS - A man is swept away to his death while attempting to drive through a ford during yesterday’s heavy rain on the Berkshire - Hampshire border. Have you got into trouble while attempting to cross a ford? : No, and I loved the video clip on the BBC news page you linked to which clearly showed a water depth gauge. Radio about stupid people, by stupid people, for stupid people. There is no charge if you want to make that your programme's new slogan. Next...

2) HATE - Astronomer Sir Patrick Moore whose fiancée was killed by a Nazi bomb in World War 2 says it’s still OK to hate the Germans. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : The Daily Mail... what better mouthpiece of the sewer press is there to stir up a bit of racial hatred? And what better mouthpiece of sewer radio is there to further promote it than your programme? You said on Ken's show: Amazing how recently the Germans were still bombing London. The last German air raid on London using conventional bombers (not V1 or V2 rockets) was on the 29 January 1944. That'll be 68 years ago. Is that what you count as "recent"? How are they getting on in Mafeking? Next...

3) COMMUNIST MANIFESTO - It’s May Day, International Workers Day. As the Communist Manifesto, the second biggest selling book of all time, is re-published, we ask whether Communism has any relevance in 2012 : It has as much relevance to me as it has always had: None at all. Needless to say, I did not listen but it was obvious from your Twitter feed that somebody called Daniel Frazer was mightily upset with what you were saying. For the benefit of my blog readers I'll repeat what he said here (http://www.twitlonger.com/show/h7usvt, my emphasis):

@theJeremyVine Of all the trash I have heard from the BBC your show today has to be the worst. Railroading Catholicism with Nazism and Capitalism, leaving Communism as the one true haven. No mention of grinding poverty in Socialist states, no mention of forced famines or gulags. No! just standing behind that Nazism had concentration camps so they were the only evil. What is a gulag or Siberian banishment if not a death camp? You are an abhorrent figure, willingly rallying and distorting the truth about the Communist manifesto and Capitalism. By playing Internationale today will you play Die Farne Hoch on the anniversary of the Munich Putsch? The anthem of a lot less brutal regime in Europe at the time? You do indeed fit the billing to partake in the worst waste of public money in all history, with your red brethren at the BBC. It is just that you and your show will end up in the cesspool of history.

He makes some good points! Next...

4) CANNABIS - And finally, Holland starts to close some of its “coffee shops” to tourists. Did you only go to Amsterdam for the cannabis? : I've been to Amsterdam only once and I was only there long enough to change trains, and I've never had anything to do with cannabis.

And finally, on to today...

1) PRESCRIPTIONS - A new report finds 1 in 6 patients are being given inaccurate prescriptions. We talk to someone about the day they spotted a serious error in their prescription : I rarely have prescriptions, and that has never happened to me. However, I do always check to see I have been given the correct stuff before using it. Obviously I am not a member of your Target Audience. Next...

2) RUPERT MURDOCH - Is Rupert Murdoch unfit to run a major international company? We talk to Tom Watson, hot from the MPs' Select Committee report, who says he clearly is : More Murdoch ... YOU LOVE IT! I have no view on Murdoch's competency to run his own business, but I find it interesting that you have Watson on your programme today. A couple of days ago this interesting little tête-à-tête appeared on your Twitter feed:


That all sounds a bit cosy to me. Anyway, it seems Watson might be in trouble (http://order-order.com/2012/05/01/dial-s-for-special-access-watson-revealed-committee-findings-in-book/) as in his book (the one whose "title is best so far this year") he revealed the committee's findings before they were published. I'd bet that you don't ask him about that. Next...

3) MAYORS - 10 towns and cities vote tomorrow on whether they should have mayors. Do you want a mayor for your city? : My nearest city already has one, thanks. Oh, you've missed out the important words "in England". Deliberate misinformation again Jeremy? Next...

4) ROY HODGSON - The new England manager is already being ridiculed for his speech impediment. What makes people think it's ok to ridicule someone with a speech defect? : Who? Oh, this is to do with sport. How boring. It is better to have a speech defect and talk sense than to talk rubbish perfectly, don't you think? You would know.

The Jeremy Vine Show - always ready to talk to (and pay) Labour MPs but please do not call us biased!

20/04/12

Good afternoon. Here is the news from the BBC:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17755357

Clock change could leave teenagers more sleepy

Teenagers can suffer severe sleep deprivation when the clocks change, say researchers at the University of Surrey. As this study was small, nine students in total, Mrs Bower says further research is needed.

A survey of just nine students? Thank goodness the BBC brought this to our attention.

http://www.licensemag.com/licensemag/Entertainment/BBC-Signs-Dancing-Deal-with-Avon/ArticleStandard/Article/detail/769804

BBC Signs Dancing Deal with AvonBBC Worldwide Consumer Products has signed a deal with Avon to produce the first range of fragrances based on Dancing with the Stars, the global brand of BBC One’s “Strictly Come Dancing” series.

Mmmm... Eau D'Sweat sounds delightful. Put me down for a few bottles.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9214163/PLS-PIC-AND-PUB-BBC-staff-could-strike-over-Jubilee-weekend.html

BBC staff 'could strike over Jubilee weekend'

BBC staff are to be balloted for strike action that unions warn could disrupt coverage of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations in June.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2132034/Will-miss-Queens-Jubilee-BBC-staff-balloted-strikes-threaten-coverage-celebration.html

Will we miss the Queen's Jubilee? BBC staff balloted for strikes which could threaten coverage of celebration

They are demanding an increase of  2 per cent above the Retail Price Index rate of inflation, which is currently 3.6 per cent.

 

As you BBC people say: Other broadcasters are available, and free ones at that. Any chance that they could go on strike permanently? They could all be sacked then.

http://www.scotsman.com/edinburgh-evening-news/education/pupil-12-takes-bbc-to-task-over-dumbed-down-current-affairs-1-2246042

Pupil, 12, takes BBC to task over ‘dumbed down’ current affairs

Lachlann, who is in year seven at the private Loretto School in Musselburgh, aired his concerns that Newsround, the 40-year-old news programme, is celebrity news-heavy and “does not give you the in-depth news”. He explained his desire for a greater focus on current affairs, suggesting that the Newsround editors were underestimating the audience and said there was a need for a children’s news programme aimed at the 12-16 age group.

Good for him! I wonder what he thinks of your programme.

And finally, more "news" aimed at children:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/17744487

'Fracking' for gas to carry on, leaving people angry

A controversial way of getting gas from underground will start again, even though some people argue it's not safe. The government reckons it could be also be used in power stations in future, which would mean the UK wouldn't depend on getting expensive fuel from other countries. But some people think fracking could pollute water and others say tidal energy and wind energy are much better options.

 

Go on BBC, keep ramming one side of the argument down their throats. Impartial? No. Unbiased? No. Sensationalist? Yes!

 

 

 

I've just had a quick listen to yesterday's show and you going on about Twitter. Some quotes from you:

"Email sounds old fashioned" - Yet it is the ONLY form of immediate written communication that I can have with your programme (i.e. NOT YOU personally!) because that is what YOU personally have decided. I have absolutely no desire to interact with YOU, but I would like to interact with YOUR PROGRAMME.

"You can tweet me at @theJeremyVine" - No, I can't, because you have blocked me from doing so.

"Here is the Radio 2 guide to Twitter" - Yet no mention of blocking. How odd.

"Tweet from somebody called Kristian, with a K, Webb, and there's a swear word in here so I won't read it: Kindly f*** off you imbecile. You've got all the intelligence of a cancerous polyp. That's a message from him to me" - Have you blocked him? One thing I have never done is resort to such language. All I have done is challenge and question what you do with a genuine desire to discuss, but you block me for daring to do so. Checking through other tweets to you yesterday I see that I am not alone in being blocked by you. Am I one of the "lunatics" that you mentioned?

Anyway, enough of your hypocrisy and blatant double standards, let's look at what I am missing today...

1) BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX - Given the violence and unrest in Bahrain is it right that the Grand Prix goes ahead? : Sport (allegedly), in a country I have never visited, and with Tatchell in the studio to share his wisdom with your listeners. Let me know if and when this discussion, or Tatchell's actions, change anything, will you? I'll be asleep in a corner, somewhere. Next...

2) PICKPOCKETING - A crime survey suggests that there has been a serious increase in pickpocketing. We give you Radio 2’s guide to how to protect yourself from being pickpocketed : I was pickpocketed on a packed Paris RER train a few years ago, simply because of my own stupidity. Rest assured, it will not happen again. Next...

3) HOSEPIPE BAN - Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink, or rather, don’t use your hosepipe! Martin Lewis tells us how to save water and save money : There is no hosepipe ban here. Having a water meter (by choice) and knowing that I am paying for every drop concentrates the mind wonderfully and we just do not waste water. Two rainwater butts helps too. I don't think I need to listen, do I? Next...

4) STANDING - David Cameron says children should stand up when their parents enter the room. Is this a Tory leader out of touch or a return to good old-fashioned manners? Fing out more in this article from the Telegraph : Fing? Do you actually read the pages you link to? The Telegraph article clearly states: The Prime Minister made the remarks in a speech praising the return of “real discipline” to British schools. He said reforms to the education system would lead to “fantastic outcomes” like children who observe the old-fashioned practice of rising in the presence of an adult. Having listened to you just after 12:00 today you seem to be under the illusion that Cameron would like to see this in family homes which, according to your source, is incorrect. Again, you are just making this stuff up, aren't you?

The Jeremy Vine Show - News Entertainment at its best

16/04/12 and 17/04/12

Tuesday, and I've just listened to your diatribe with Ken. As usual, there was nothing to give me any confidence that you have even the slightest clue what you are talking about, but let's have a quick look at yesterday's programme first...

1) ANDERS BREIVIK - It’s the trial in Norway of Anders Breivik, accused of murdering 77 people. Is Norway treating him more liberally then we would in Britain? : And the point of this question is what, exactly? Norway has its legal system, and we have ours. Now get over it. Next...

2) STILES - There’s a report that in Dartmoor, people want the stiles to be removed from country walks, because disabled and overweight people are having trouble getting over them. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : Another one from the Mail, so it must be true. And your discussion with Ken today confirms that to be true. So what? Slow news day, was it? Next...

3) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - We launch a Radio 2 special which celebrates every single part of the United Kingdom, “I love where I live”. It’s a one-minute love letter to your town, place or village : I love where I live, that's why I live here. Easy! Next...

4) BIONICS - We meet the fifteen-year old with a bionic arm. He lost the arm when he was very young, now science has replaced it : Wonderful!

On to today then...

1) FRACKING - Today we debate fracking: Will it create almost limitless supplies of cheap natural gas, or will it cause earthquakes and ruin the environment? : I must have missed the news the day the Blackpool Tower collapsed and fell in to the sea following the "earthquake" last year... The word "debate" usually means a frank discussion by parties of differing views. You mentioned on Ken's show that your (only?) guest on this item would be somebody from the "Ribble Estuary Against Fracking" (REAF, presumably) campaign. And your other guest, who will argue the benefits of fracking will be ... non-existent, presumably. I'd had enough of this listening to Chris Evans this morning who gave the kind of one-sided argument of which you would have been proud. My opinion on fracking is of no matter, but I do object to you and your colleagues continuing with your biased messages. It was on 24th May that you last discussed this, and a subsequent email exchange between myself and so-called BBC Science Correspondent Roger Harrabin failed to give me any kind of impression that he had a clue what he was talking about:

Me: You said: "It is the fracking process - creating tiny explosions to shatter hard shale rocks and release gas 10,000 feet underground - that has caused so much controversy in the US. Some householders claim that shale gas leaking into their drinking supply causes tap water to ignite.". The suggestion is that shale gas percolates nearly two miles up through the earth's crust and then seeps through metal or plastic pipes containing water under pressure and then bursts in flames out of water taps with no source of ignition. Would you care to suggest how this can happen? Do you have any documentary evidence of such an occurrence?

Harrabin: Many share your incredulity.

Me: So you made it up then? No facts, no news!

Harrabin: No that's silly

If he can't explain his own writings, why would you be any different? And I've just listened to Richard Black spout his usual biased rubbish, and he'll get a gold star from somebody for crow-barring "global warming" in to the discussion. Well done Richard, I don't believe a word you say! And I've also listened to the woman from REAF who, shall we say, failed to convince me that she even knows what day of the week it is. Presumably the people you speak to (a) use electricity, (b) hate nuclear energy, (c) hate the burning of fossil fuels, and (d) fail to acknowledge the inefficiency and impracticality of wind farms. Unfortunately they also fail to come up with any other alternative, other than a UK with no electricity.

So let me re-word that question for you: Will it create almost limitless supplies of cheap natural gas, or will the UK media cause so much hysteria amongst an ill-informed population that any possible benefits will be missed? Next...

2) EMERGENCY LANDING - A Virgin Atlantic plane makes an emergency landing at Gatwick Airport. Some passengers said the cabin crew panicked. We investigate : You? Investigate? Don't make me laugh. You don't investigate anything. You'll read it in the Daily Mail. You said on Ken's show, "We're still checking the facts". Checking the facts? Blimey ... it has never bothered you before, why is this story so different? After all, you didn't bother to check the facts when talking about Chris Davies MEP's earnings, did you? Next...

3) WIRRAL COUNCIL - Should Wirral council be sponsoring its local football club Tranmere Rovers, when it’s closing down care homes for the elderly? Find out more in this article from The Telegraph : Oooh, a vote. I don't live on the Wirral and I hate football so, and on the basis that you like everybody to have an opinion, here is mine: I could not care less. Next...

4) SAILING MISHAPS - A father and son who bought a yacht from an online auction site crashed it into the rocks off Guernsey. We hear tales of inexperienced idiots and sailing mishaps : And your special guest will be the captain of the Costa Concordia, presumably? Radio about idiots made by idiots presumably for idiots. Target audience! Get Richard Black back on.

The Jeremy Vine Show - not today, thank you


UPDATE: After a visit to http://biased-bbc.com I was reminded of this:
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100111487/how-many-died-in-the-great-blackpool-earthquake-of-11/

09/04/10 and 10/04/10

Hi Jeremy,

Remember me? I'm back! I bet you're pleased about that. I've had a couple of weeks off while I do some stuff and reassess what I want to do with regard to your programme and my blog. But you need not worry: This festering sore is not going to go away just yet. Instead, I am going to email you (and update my blog) as and when I can rather than trying to do it as your programme starts. Frankly, I have got better things to do than tell you what I think of your programme, and this is not helped by the incompetence and tardiness of whoever it is (who is it?) who is responsible for updating your show web page every day. In my recent second appeal letter to the BBC Trust I have promised to stop filing complaints about how late these updates can be some days, so my best course of action is to stop waiting for them and write this rubbish later in the day and after somebody has done the job that I pay them to do.

All this means, of course, is that I will no longer be telling you "I won't be listening today because..." and future messages will tell you simply what I think of the topics you decided to discuss on previous shows. The advantages to me are:
 - no time constraint
 - the web page will have been updated
 - I can have a good laugh at any relevant bits by using iPlayer

A win-win-win situation, I think!

I wonder what I missed while I was having a break? Well, actually I couldn't care less what I missed to be honest, but I do know that I missed Feltz talking (talking? or fawning?) to Galloway. So that was a result then. I cannot think of two people I would rather never hear ever again.

I bet I didn't miss you discussing this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2126040/BBC-bias-Is-Corporation-representing-British-nation.html

The BBC has a duty to represent the British nation...but is it doing so?

There's an interesting dialogue taking place on the internet.  It can be seen in blogs, chatrooms and on social network sites and it runs something like this: why is the BBC TV news output so selective in what - and who - it chooses to cover? It's fair to say, though, that there exists an angry crowd of people pounding on their keyboards and some of what they have to say about our Great British institution is less than endearing. Just as importantly, I feel, is the fact that dissenting voices have increased in volume and intensity over the past couple of years and show no sign of abating.

Perhaps I should get a job at the Daily Mail? Or perhaps not ... <shudder>

And then there was this one:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9189380/BBC-accused-of-TV-licence-rip-off.html

BBC accused of TV licence rip-off

The BBC is over-charging millions of people for their licence fees by selling "annual" permits that only last 11 months, it can be disclosed. The corporation has been making up to £25m a year through the little-known loophole, which has been condemned as "unfair" and a "rip off". Any viewer buying a TV licence for the first time is charged £145.50 for a year-long permit. But under current arrangements, the new licence expires 12 months from the first day of the month in which it is purchased. This means that an ‘annual’ licence bought on April 30 2012 will actually run out at midnight on March 31 2013.

The BBC? Ripping off the people who fund it? Who'd have thought such a thing could ever happen. Oh, hang on, silly me.

And then, of course, there is possibly the biggest organised cover-up of criminal behaviour ever seen in the UK:
http://order-order.com/2012/04/10/britains-biggest-establishment-cover-up-conspiracy-thousands-of-crimes-committed-by-over-300-journalists-protected-from-exposure-by-a-judge-and-newspaper-editors/

In the course of the Inquiry Leveson has received prima facie evidence of some thousands of crimes committed by hundreds of journalists. The Operation Motorman files gathered by the Information Commissioner expose a culture of criminality in the day-to-day functioning of the media. The corrupting of police and other offices of the crown was a matter of course not only at the News of the World and other Murdoch titles, it was also the case at the Mail and the Mirror newspaper groups as well. The silence on this issue from these newspapers is because they fear a circular firing squad. Leveson has the evidence required to initiate criminal actions and civil actions by thousands of victims of crimes committed by newspaper journalists. Guido challenged Leveson to his face to publish the evidence, thus allowing the victims of industrial scale illegal invasions of privacy to get justice. Leveson claimed it was difficult nine years on. Guido understands that there have been two applications to Leveson to release the Operation Motorman files. The applications, heard in private, were refused. So in Britain we have a situation where the judge charged with investigating the crimes carried out by the media is covering up their crimes. There is an overwhelming public interest in the victims getting justice.

Go on then, discuss that one day. I dare you. Journalism in this country is facing its biggest crisis with huge swathes of the population simply not believing a word that ANY journalist says, including you. So try and explain why your journalist bretheren should not be shot in front of their families. I'd listen. To put it in simple terms: JOURNALISTS ARE SCUM!

One thing I didn't miss was you saying last Friday, "You can tweet me at @TheJeremyVine and we can discuss these topics out of hours". Really? Can I really discuss this stuff with you? If so, let's give it a go. Oh, and you'll need to unblock my Twitter account first ... won't you.

Let's start the day-by-day analysis by looking at yesterday's programme (Monday 9th April). Working on a Bank Holiday ... I can't remember you doing that before!

1) BOAT RACE DISRUPTION - The protestor who disrupted this year's Boat Race has now been charged. How do we avoid similar incidents at the Olympics or the Jubilee celebrations? : My interest in anything sporty is legend and as close to non-existent as it is possible to be. BUT, had I have been in one of those boats on Saturday I would have made sure that this idiot had got an accidental clout from my oar before the race was stopped. I'm just listening to this on iPlayer and waiting patiently for you to come up with a concrete proposal ... ah, here we go: "If this person had been running in to a Presidential motorcade he would have been shot" and "If he thought we would have been shot for swimming in the water he wouldn't have done it". An interesting suggestion Jeremy, that'll boost the TV ratings. And the security expert you interviewed said "There is no way you are going to prevent it". This was then followed by some inane comments from your inane listeners (shooting with an underwater harpoon, for example). And guess what? Other than shooting the person involved, you failed to come up with any useful suggestion. I bet Teresa May was devastated. OK, enough of iPlayer now. Remind me, what was the point of this discussion again? Next...

2) RAUNCHY MUSIC VIDEOS - Should raunchy music videos get an 18 rating? : What, and deny legions of teenage boys 30 seconds of pleasure? You are such a spoilsport. Next...

3) DOMESTIC SERVICE - Was one of your parents or grandparents in domestic service? : No, they were not. I love questions like that. Next...

4) ANIMAL IN HEADLIGHTS - A driver writes off his Ferrari trying to avoid a hedgehog in the road. Do you swerve when you see an animal in your headlights? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : Stop, yes. Swerve, no. We get all sorts of wildlife on the roads around here: hedgehogs, sheep, rabbits, cows, deer, badgers, foxes, owls. I've managed to avoid them all. And good to see the Mail is still providing garbage for your programme, especially when it involves a story from Germany. Was there no UK news then?

OK, that's one day down so perhaps I should do today's show too. I did notice at about 1:30 that the web site hadn't been updated. Some things never change, but that particular failing of the BBC is no longer an issue ... so here we go...

1) EXTRADITION - The European Court of Human Rights rules that five terrorism suspects - including the radical Islamic cleric, Abu Hamza - can be extradited to the US : I hear that Guantanamo Bay is nice at this time of year. An interesting tweet from Stewart Jackson MP appeared on your feed earlier: Went head to head with human rights lawyer @TheJeremyVine show. Out of touch & publicly funded (mostly). Public have human right to be safe. Out of touch and publicly funded? Who WAS he talking about? Next...

2) CHARITY FUNDRAISERS - Volunteer fundraisers in Aldeburgh withdraw their support from the Macmillan cancer charity because they say the organisation hired door-to-door collectors who used high-pressure techniques. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : Living in a rural area as I do, the number of "cold" door-to-door callers that we suffer per month can probably be counted on one foot of a three-toed sloth. A well-known double-glazing company who tell me I should "fit the best" are regular if infrequent visitors, but even they are starting to understand the meaning of "Go away, and get off my property". I find that works quite nicely. It does not make economic sense for charitable organisations to target this area, and any charity I choose to support would not do such a thing (and I would soon cease to support them if they did). I find it amazing that some people allow themselves to be ambushed in the street and are then conned in to signing a direct debit for a montly payment to a charity not necessarily of their choice. Oh, hang on... I remember you saying to Zoe earlier today that this happened to you. Says it all really. Next...

3) TITANIC - One hundred years ago today the Titanic set sail from Southampton. Do you have a personal connection with someone who was on that fateful voyage? : No. Instead of reading all that "Night To Remember" stuff, get yourself a copy of "Titanic : The Ship That Never Sank" and a copy of the Board Of Trade enquiry in to the sinking. You might learn something. Next...

4) HAIRDRESSERS - Hairdressers are angered by EU proposals to encourage hairdressers to have regular ‘social dialogue’ to encourage ‘mental wellbeing’ in the workplace. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : And the Mail again ... bless! Sporting as I do a fine head of skin, my barber (he is not a hairdresser and would be offended by the term if used to describe him) does not take long to do a trim around the edges every couple of months. Our conversation is usually driven by me, and I have often caused a chuckle among other waiting customers when I have asked him "Have you been anywhere nice on holiday then?". Our bi-monthly meetings usually end with a genuinely warm and friendly handshake as I give him £7 and remind him that he has only done half a job while he tells me to get the hell out of his shop, and don't come back until the next time. He is a top bloke, and he does a fine job.

 

So there we go. That was fun! Let's do it again soon.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - shooting is the only possible solution

Today's show 20/02/12

Monday morning again, and somebody has very kindly updated your web page nice and early - thank you!

I see from today's menu though that you will not be discussing a couple of news stories that are of interest to me. For completeness these are:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2103258/BBC-pays-1-8million-legal-help-stars-pay-confidential.html

BBC pays £1.8million legal bill to help keep stars' pay confidential

The BBC’s governing body has paid £1.8 million to a top international law firm for work including advice on keeping the wages of some of its most high-profile stars confidential. Figures obtained by The Mail on Sunday show that the BBC Trust – the body that has overall control  of the public broadcaster – paid an average of almost £20,000 a week  to the London office of Baker & McKenzie during the past two years.

Do you consider that this gives us - the TV Licence Tax payers - value for money? I don't.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9090976/How-Moira-Stuart-makes-sure-tax-doesnt-have-to-be-taxing.html

How Moira Stuart makes sure tax doesn't have to be taxing

Moira Stuart, the BBC newsreader who has become the public face of HM Revenue & Customs, has set up a company that allows her to avoid the full impact of the 50p top tax rate.

How about discussing the pros and cons of this arrangement one day then Jeremy? I'd listen!

Instead, we have this lot...

 

1) LONG DISTANCE COACH TRIPS - Following the crash in northern France of the coach returning children from a ski trip, we talk to someone that says it’s time to stop the transportation of children on long distance coach trips at night : "Someone" ... bless. Where do you find them? You said to Zoe, "It is not very easy to sleep on the front seat of a coach". A lot of coaches used on these trips have a separate sleeping compartment for the driver away from the main passenger cabin but I have no idea if this was the case on the coach that crashed in France. Do you? A similar incident occurred on a trip abroad when I was at school in the 1970s, but fortunately without loss of life. It is true to say that it had an affect on everybody at the school as we all knew somebody who had been injured. They all went on to make a full recovery but, presumably, some still bear the mental and physical scars of that incident to this day. However, I wasn't on the trip, I hate travelling by coach and we have no children who would go on such a trip. Next...

2) POLIO - India says it’s eradicated polio. We did the same a generation ago, but are you someone who can remember the terrible disease? Maybe you even suffered from it yourself?: Fortunately no, and no. I had a vaccination when I was only a few years old and I still have my polio vaccination card here somewhere. Next...

3) BOXING BRAWL - The brawl between the two heavyweight boxers has been said to shame the sport of boxing. But hang on a minute, wasn’t your reaction : ‘I thought boxing was about being violent?’ : I've never been a fan of boxing, and frankly could not care less what these individuals get up to. Wrestling, now there's a sport! Next...

4) HUGGING - John Prescott regrets that he’s unable to hug his sons. Are you somebody who wished your dad had hugged you? : He did. Thankfully he was not John Prescott. Ewwww....

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - come on, it's Monday, what did you expect?

Today's show 15/02/12

Years ago, when I lived in England, I remember the furore that erupted when our county council made a load of staff redundant with huge severance payments on a Friday, and then re-employed them the following Monday. You have probably heard of similar cases, so how about discussing this on your programme one day? I'd listen to that! And here are some recent examples of similar behaviour by a public-funded body that you could use to highlight this practice:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9083320/BBCs-redundancy-payouts-criticised-as-staff-get-old-jobs-back.html

BBC's redundancy payouts criticised as staff get old jobs back

The BBC has been criticised after spending £4million making staff redundant - only for nearly half of them to continue working as normal.
The money was paid to around 70 workers as compensation when the corporation revealed plans to relocate their posts north to Salford in the Midlands. But after accepting the redundancy money - reported to be £57,000 each, on average - it is understood that some 17 workers simply carried on in the same jobs.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2101282/Half-BBC-staff-pocketed-4m-pay-carried-working-job.html

Half of BBC staff who pocketed £4m pay-off carried on working in the same job

The BBC spent £4million laying off staff – only for nearly half of them to continue working as normal. The money was paid to around 70 workers as compensation because their posts were being relocated north to Salford. But after accepting the ‘redundancy’ money – £57,000 each, on average – about 17 of them simply carried on in the same jobs, it is understood.

So, I'll look forward to that. Any idea when you might talk about it?

Alternatively, you could have talked about this one:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-17038937

Supreme Court upholds BBC's refusal on Israel report

The UK Supreme Court has rejected an appeal against the BBC's refusal to publish a report into its coverage of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. ... He had asked for the 2004 Balen Report to be disclosed under the Freedom of Information Act. However, the BBC argued that it was exempt from the Act with regard to information it held for the purposes of "journalism, art or literature". Mr Sugar, who died of cancer last year aged 61, had wanted to know whether the report supported his claim that the corporation was biased against Israel.

 

Ah, those pesky words crop up again: for the purposes of journalism, art or literature. I've come up against that particular barricade myself in connection with my FOI requests about your programme. Just remind me again, who is the publicly-funded BBC accountable to? And why does it keep sooooo much stuff secret?

You said on Ken's show earlier, "I was in the cafe this morning looking at the papers" and went on to claim that this was research. This, Jeremy, explains a lot. I am left to wonder which particular rag is at the top of the pile, although I feel sure it will be either the Daily Mail or The Guardian, and with the Daily Express at the bottom of the pile and never looked at.

And it was good to hear Ken question the validity of TV Licences. Now there is a topic worthy of discussion one day, as I have suggested many, many times before. But not today, of course, and instead we have this stuff which you think might possibly be of interest to me. Oh, how wrong you are...

1) ALCOHOL ABUSE - David Cameron wants more to be done to cut alcohol abuse in England. If you're a parent, how did you attempt to stop your teenager binge-drinking? : I don't drink alcohol. I don't live in England. I am not a parent. I do not have a teenager. How less relevant is it possible to be? Next...

2) BRITAIN'S MOST HONEST MAN? - The most honest man in Britain? A street cleaner finds a £21,000 Rolex watch and hands it in to the police : Slow news day, is it? Not mentioned by you on Ken's show, or on the BBC news web page, was the snippet of information that was included on R2's 08:00 news this morning, and that was that the finder gets to keep the watch if it is not claimed in a set number of days, so it will either go back to its owner or back to the finder. I shall remain puzzled why you think this news. Next...

3) SUDDEN SIGHT LOSS - We discuss sudden sight loss and meet a man who went blind overnight : Sounds terrible, in all sorts of ways. Next...

4) RANGERS - What's the future for Rangers as the iconic Scottish club enters administration? : I cannot find words to express how little I care about this.

 

Nothing for me again today then ... perhaps I need to artificially create some issues that affect me so that you can talk about them. Or perhaps not.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - no, football IS news, no really, it is!

Today's show 09/02/12

Absolutely no surprise as to what you have chosen for the first story today, but let's look at the news that the BBC will not be sharing with us today first, shall we?

http://order-order.com/2012/02/09/did-the-bbc-fix-it-for-jim-awkward-questions-for-director-general-mark-thompson/

Did the BBC Fix It For Jim? - Awkward Questions for Director General Mark Thompson

Guido got wind of this yesterday, but this week’s Oldie magazine is out, and has more details about a possible BBC cover up after Newsnight unearthed allegations of child abuse by Jimmy Savile on BBC property.

As Guido says, this is dark stuff. We can only hope that it is not true.

And then there is this one, concerning the BBC's reporting of hot-topic Mr Qatada:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9067754/BBC-tells-its-staff-dont-call-Qatada-extremist.html

BBC tells its staff: don’t call Qatada extremist

The BBC has told its journalists not to call Abu Qatada, the al-Qaeda preacher, an “extremist”. In order to avoid making a “value judgment”, the corporation’s managers have ruled that he can only be described as “radical”. Journalists were also cautioned against using images suggesting the preacher is overweight. The guidance was issued at the BBC newsroom’s 9.00am editorial meeting yesterday, chaired by a senior manager, Andrew Roy. According to notes of the meeting, seen by The Daily Telegraph, journalists were told: “Do not call him an extremist – we must call him a radical. Extremist implies a value judgment.”

This directive was issued the day after Sky told its journalists that news stories must pass through the news desk before appearing on Twitter (http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/feb/07/sky-news-twitter-clampdown), and which you took such delight in riduculing Rupert Murdoch himself about:

Odd, don't you think, that your own programme (among many others) can describe Murdoch's takeover of BSkyB last year as "controversial", which is nothing other than a value judgement? So what do you have to do to be classified as an "extremist" in the BBC's eyes? Oh yes, I know. You have to be a staunch EU-sceptic and express doubts about man-made global warming.

And, to preempt your first item today, there is this one:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9068960/Harry-Redknapp-tax-evasion-trial-BBC-get-jury-verdict-wrong.html

Harry Redknapp tax evasion trial: BBC get jury verdict wrong

The BBC has been left red-faced by a court reporting error after the corporation broadcast the wrong verdict from the Harry Redknapp trial. The public broadcaster’s flagship News 24 channel told viewers that the Tottenham Hotspur manager had been found guilty of one count of tax evasion.

The BBC? Broadcasting incorrect information? Who'd have thought....

Anyway, you're not covering any of those, or "BIG DAY for #Leveson: “@guardiannews: Leveson inquiry: Paul Dacre, Heather Mills, Max Clifford - live http://gu.com/p/35bme/tf” as you described it earlier, and instead we have this stuff to deal with...

1) ENGLAND MANAGER - Are you a fan of Harry Redknapp or are you a fan of Fabio Capello? : Neither. No real news today then? I'm sure there is if you could be bothered to look. I think you are confusing me again with somebody who has any interest at all in "The Game". However, it says a lot when an Italian resigns because England are too corrupt. Either that, or it was all arranged in advance. Next...

2) CHILDREN IN CARE - Record numbers of children are being taken into care – not only children who have been abused, but also children who have been neglected. We talk to someone who says “there was ‘neglect’ in my family, but better that than being in care.” : Another "someone" - excellent. This is all very sad but this particular someone was brought up by loving parents, and continues to have no children of his own. Next...

3) SINGAPORE OCCUPATION - Seventy years ago this week, the so-called impregnable fortress of Singapore fell to the Japanese. Was your father or grandfather captured in that fateful week? : Sorry, no. My father was in North Africa maintaining Lancasters at the time, and my grandfathers were not called up for service due to their age. Next...

4) UNLIKELY SUCCESS STORIES - Finally, have you never sent a text or an email, do you have the reading age of a two year old and are you financially illiterate… but yet, like Harry Redknapp, have you been very successful in life? : Again no, that's not me. My parents have never sent a text or an email, but they can read. Does that count? And I wonder how many people with the reading age of a two year old just read this on your web page....?

So, nothing today again then. What a shame.

The Jeremy Vine Show - football is more important than real news, every day

Today's show 02/02/12

Mmmmm... bacon and mushroom sandwich... yummy!

Good morning Jeremy, and a warm "hello" from my current location: The BBC Naughty Step. Now, I've seen Naughty Steps in TV programmes and, if I remember correctly, a child has to sit on them for one minute for every of their age. Have I got that right? The BBC apparently has a more draconian view of such things as I have been put on the Naughty Step for, roughly, two weeks for every year of my life. Now there, surely, is a subject for discussion one day? But not today, apparently...

09:10: Today's stories @BBCRadio2 in four words: Terror. Twitter*. Fashanu. Soldiers. (*is Twitter better than Facebook?)

Sounds great, and I cannot wait to miss it all later, but I think you need to drop one of your stories for today as I have some important news:

Today's issue that affects me: We had a bit of a frost last night, and I had to scrape the windscreen of my wife's car. There, that should fill 30 minutes easily.

But no, you are not discussing the weather today, apparently...

1) FACEBOOK OR TWITTER? - People are getting a chance to buy shares in Facebook, and we’re also told that social networking sites are more addictive than tobacco. Today we ask, what would you champion – Facebook or Twitter? : Aha! This will be another classic "Daddy or Chips?" discussion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHA4-5N5AzA) where you attempt to compare two complete disparate entities. What next? How about: What would you champion - expolding glass tables or bonuses for bankers?

Interesting to read that Bono will make a profit of $800million as part of the share sale (http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/ireland-business-blog-with-lisa-ocarroll/2011/aug/16/u2-bono-facebook-stake). That should go a long way to sorting out starvation in Africa. Maybe?

I only use Twitter because of you, so thanks for that as I find it fascinating. I have been on Facebook for several years but only in a personal capacity and not as LunchTimeLoather, JVineBlogMan or similar. We all know about your Twitter presence, but how about Facebook? I remember a discussion about it on your programme a couple of years ago and seem to remember that you were not a fan. I've just had a quick search in Facebook for "Jeremy Vine" and, ignoring other people with the same name, this is what it came back with:

Jeremy Vine - 1,023 like this, description copied from Wikipedia : Not sure what this is, is it really you? I am not going to "Like" it to find out. Sorry. 1023 eh? Whooppee.

The Jeremy Vine Appreciation Society - 3 members : No activity since last March. 3 members ... says it all really.
Lets get Jeremy Vine off the Radio! - 36 members : Some good stuff here, but nothing since last August.
Jeremy Vine - What a complete d!ck - 4 members : Good stuff here too, and I particularly liked the CD. Now there's an idea for BBC Sales, yes?
I turn off Radio 2 when Jeremy Vine comes on - 8 members : Closed group, so I cannot see what they are up to.
The King of facial expressions Jeremy Vine - 58 like this : This seems to be a collection of photos of you pulling funny faces that have been posted by somebody who doesn't like Australians. Wierd.
Jeremy Vine's Green-Screen Election Graphics - 57 like this : Only one posting, in May 2010.
Jeremy F*****g VINE - 3 like this : No activity.
The Jeremy-Grape-Vine - 16 like this : Two posts, last from July 2011.
Jeremy Vine's virtual election world - 32 like this : No activity.
Jeremy Vine's ridiculous election coverage simulation scenarios - 14 like this : No activity.
The kangaroo that wants more fans than Jeremy Vine from the BBC - 27 like this : Appears to be run by somebody who thinks you don't like Australians. Any truth?
I Want Jeremy Vines Hologram Room! - 4 like this : No activity other than "He must feel like such a d!ck. Standing in a green room talking about swing."
I wouldn't pay Jeremy Vine to say "Hi, I'm Jeremy Vine" - 9 like this : No activity other than "He may do good things in other programmes but in Panorama, its left to other people to dig deep and investgate this week's scandal". That'll be Points of View, or Eggheads maybe.
Get Jeremy Vine out of the matrix - 4 like this : No activity, other than a picture of you in an election studio.
Jumping in a bowl of soup after a long day of being Jeremy Vine - 4 like this : No activity.

Hardly the greatest Facebook presence for you, I am sure you will agree. As I write this you have 78404 Twitter followers, excluding myself because I am still blocked, so it is safe to assume that you think Twitter IS better than Facebook, and that will be that with no discussion needed. And I cannot believe that you have not heard of Harry Hill's "Fiiiiggghhhhhtttttt.....". Chalk that up as another bit of The Real World that you now know about. Next...

2) BOMB PLOT - Islamists who plotted to blow up the stock exchange have pleaded guilty and will get a much shorter sentence. They could be out in 6 years. But if the intention was to kill hundreds of people, we speak to someone who says the sentence should be similar to if the bomb really had gone off : I find it interesting that you chose to use the word "Islamic" in your description on Ken's show ("an Islamist plot to blow up the London Stock Exchange") and on your web page. This is somewhat different to how your colleagues at the BBC have been describing this. For example, there is no mention of Islam on the BBC news page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-16833032) but Sky News take a different approach in their coverage (http://news.sky.com/home/uk-news/article/16160816). Did you not get that email? I need say no more other than to point you to this discussion: http://biased-bbc.blogspot.com/2012/02/half-storyetc.html. Next...

3) JUSTIN FASHANU - Justin Fashanu was the first and, so far, only openly gay footballer. 8 years after coming out, he hanged himself. We speak to his niece. What is it about football that stops gay people from coming out? : Wasn't there something about this on TV last night? While Fashanu's death was tragic (didn't anybody see the signs, ref. Tuesday's programme?), I cannot find words to express how disinterested I am in ANY footballers. Perhaps Stephen Hester should demand that these overpaid clowns return the vast amounts of money they get paid. Fortunately I am not aware of ever giving one single penny to the business that is incorrectly described as "The Game". Next...

4) LOVE LETTERS - We discuss soldiers’ final love letters home from the front line : I am sure that these bring a huge benefit to those people, unlike myself, who have or had somebody in the military.

The Jeremy Vine Show - TV Burp? What's that?

Today's show 15/12/11

Your web page was updated by 10:55 this morning. What happened there then? Is this a resumption of normal service? I can only hope so.

Today's issue that affects me: I am compiling a Top Ten of memorable Jeremy Vine Show moments from 2011. I already know what will go in the Number 1 position, but do you Jeremy have any suggestions for what else should appear? I would be very interested in your suggestions.

So, I'm looking forward to your blistering attack on The Guardian today. You know the kind of thing, just like the one you did on the News Of The World a few months ago. I feel sure it will be on today's menu as it is a story that is very much in the public interest and it raises all sorts of interesting questions about other attacks by that particular rag against any other of its pet hates and the people involved. Just to refresh your memory you can read more here: http://autonomousmind.wordpress.com/2011/12/14/after-its-false-allegations-about-milly-dowler-voicemails-what-other-falsehoods-has-the-guardian-published/. Oh, but hang on, what's this? That excellent article says: "The BBC, as the broadcast arm of the Guardian, has an editorial culture of omitting stories that paint the Guardian in a negative light and thus will act as if the story does not exist.". Oh dear, does that mean that you cannot cover this today? What a shame, because I would have listened!

Instead then, how about an apology to Rupert Murdoch and the NOTW staff who lost their jobs? Your contributor Kelvin Mackenzie has written an interesting piece here http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/7480783/who-will-say-sorry-to-rupert.thtml in which he asks The Guardian to do exactly that. As the "broadcast arm of the Guardian" I consider that the BBC should join in that same apology as their attacks on NOTW, News International and the Murdochs were nothing short of vicious, and included in your own programme.

I'll leave it to you to come up with some suitably grovelling phraseology to use in your apology. After all, you might end up working for NI one day so best to keep on the right side of them, eh?

Going back to Mackenzie's piece, he makes an interesting point: "The problem with journalism is that people don’t tell you the truth. They think it’s the truth, they hope it’s the truth, they wish it to be the truth but they get it plain wrong.". He should know, and now we know. My suspicions of the last 20 years have been confirmed.

Oh, and don't get me wrong. I could not care less about the demise of the NOTW, or The Guardian - which with its plummeting readership cannot be far away now, surely. What interests me is the sort-of "code" that exists between journalists and how it is used, broken and ignored from time to time. I'm sure you know I am no fan of journalists and in the light of recent events I now consider that they should all be taken outside and executed in front of their families. Are you offended by that? Good.

So, The Guardian must surely be the first item today. Oh, no, you are telling us to think different things...

1) PROBLEM FAMILIES - The government wants to help problem families. Was your family situation so bad that you would have benefited from some intervention that you didn’t get? : No, it was not. Can my wife and I apply to become a problem family? Next...

2) DANGEROUS DOGS - Judges have looked again at how sentencing works under the Dangerous Dogs Act. We talk to someone that tells us why they need a big gnashing guard dog : Last discussed on 17th March (DANGEROUS DOGS - A teenager in Lancashire is mauled by two dangerous dogs. How come the dangerous dogs act didn't get rid of dangerous dogs. Do you have one in your street?) so obviously a PET subject of yours. Tee Hee. Geddit? Good to see that you have found another mysterious "someone" to light the flames of outrage and indignation today. And nice use of the word "gnashing" too on the web page and on Ken's show as that will only fuel the fire even more. Perhaps "someone" has a legitimate reason, perhaps "someone" does not, but I'm pretty sure "someone" does not live around here. Next...

3) GREECE - At 1pm, we imagine what would happen if Greece crashes out of the Euro : Important word there: IF. I listened to you talking about this on Ken's show, and - ignoring a feeling of losing the will to live - I got the distinct impression that you had not really thought this through and are planning to "wing it". You described this somewhat differently when you promoted your show on your personal Twitter feed (all views personal of course, and still missing a comma) earlier today: "Later @BBCRadio2, we will play the following scenario: Greece has suddenly announced one morning it is back to the drachma, Greek Euros are converted 1:1 to drachmas. Border controls are brought in. It's illegal to hold Euros. All Greek foreign debt is cancelled. The change is done literally overnight to stop people hoarding Euros. Join us at 1pm as we explore this (fictional?) scenario.". Fictional? Scenario? David Attenborough will be proud of you. Next...

4) WOMEN'S SPORTS - Are sports pages in violation of the Equality Act because they hardly ever cover women’s sports? : I think you are confusing me with somebody who (a) buys a newspaper, and/or (b) has any interest in sport of any kind.

The Jeremy Vine Show - a problem radio programme in need of help

Today's show 06/12/11

Tuesday, and I'm still on a slow internet connection (although I've identified the problem to be a faulty cable, but nobody around here sells a replacement). However, that does not stop me writing my daily drivel...!

Let's go back to yesterday's programme first, and defibrillators. Valued contributor to my blog Stonyground wrote this yesterday afternoon:
On the subject of defibrillators I was astonished that he actually did some research on the subject. Having attended numerous first aid courses I happen to know that these devices are very cleverly designed to be idiot proof and easy to use. Wouldn't it be a great idea for basic first aid to be taught in all public schools? If JV campaigned for this he could really change our country for the better. There would be people alive today saying that they literally owe their very lives to JV.

Research? Blimey! He makes a good point about First Aid, of course, but the chances of you mounting a campaign about anything (except, perhaps, to get Ken Bruce on Twitter) are non-existent. All talk, no action, as usual. Go on, prove me wrong.

From saving lives to death: Do you remember the story you did on 18th August about a pensioner from Chelmsford who was unfortunately killed by a swarm of wasps? You devoted 30 minutes of your programme to this topic, even though the wasps had been agitated by person or persons unknown by having their nest disturbed. That was one death ... and 30 minutes of prime time Radio 2. So why are you not discussing 36,371 deaths in the UK then?
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15975720

A total of 36,371 people were killed on Britain's roads between 1999 and 2010.

Britain has one of the best records in the world for road casualties. However, hundreds still die on the roads every year. In 2010, the police recorded 1,850 deaths, 22,660 people seriously injured and 184,138 who received light injuries.

Ah yes, I know ... because it happens every day, and so it is not "news". Somebody getting killed by wasps can be turned in to a sensational news entertainment radio item. But road deaths? No, they are boring ... apparently.

So, let's look at what you are discussing today in the vain hope that there might actually be some real news, or even just something of interest...

1) OLYMPIC OPENING CEREMONY - The cost of the Olympic opening ceremony is about to double. What’s the point of the opening ceremony? Or on the other hand, is it the only bit you like? : One could ask, of course: What's the point of the Jeremy Vine Show? The answer in my case would be much the same. The opening ceremony was always going to be contentious, but I suppose that the current plans are an improvement on the "Boris riding around in a red bus" plans that were mooted after the Beijing Olympics closed. Personally, I'm not interested in sport enough to have an opinion either way, but I'll probably watch when it happens. Interesting, don't you think, that the news page you link to does not mention the opening ceremony cost specifically, but only "ceremonies". Half the story again? Next...

2) HOMELESS HOSTEL - An animal charity is calling for pet dogs to be allowed into homeless hostels. Others say if you’re homeless you forego the right to have a pet : Ah, the mysterious "others" appear again. Who are these people? Do they just appear every day, or do you have to go looking for them? Please feel free to ask me to be an "other" whenever you like. This sounds like a recipe for high blood pressure, so I think I'll give it a miss. Next...

3) CONCRETE BOCK - A mother and daughter talk of the horror of a concrete block hitting their car after being thrown off a bridge on the A12 : A concrete what? Oh, BLOCK! Does nobody proof-read your web page? It sounds horrific, but thanks for promoting this as a weekend and evening pastime, and for giving the perpetrators the oxygen of publicity. They'll be bragging to all their mates now, "Did you hear me being talked about on Jeremy Vine?" and their lives will be complete. Next...

4) GORDON BROWN - We talk to someone who says it’s time to praise Gordon Brown for keeping us out of the Euro and in difficult times, we need him now : Gordon who? Oh... hang on... its all coming back to me.... Aaaaggghhh!!!! As well as they mysterious "others", we also have a secretive "someone". So, this someone, where did you find them? Is it anybody we know? Are they deluded? Brown can barely be bothered to act as a constituency MP these days, let alone do anything else other than feather his own nest. The Scotsman (http://www.scotsman.com/news/fears_rise_over_radioactive_particles_at_dalgety_bay_1_1915787) reported on October 18th about radioactive particles in Dalgety Bay, yet it took Gordon over a month before he even acknowledged the problem (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-15832411). He has only appeared in the Commons a few times (four, I think, and one of those was to give a personal rant about the press) since May 2010. He's too busy these days attending a conference here, giving a (paid for) talk there, while still being paid £65,738 plus expenses and pension to basically do very little for the good of his constituents. Does he care? Yes, of course he does ... about himself.

As you said on Ken's show, "There is no point in us going on the air at all".

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - <looks to side camera and shrugs in a Harry Hill's TV Burp style>

Today's show 22/11/11

My dear blog readers,

My daily diatribe relies on JV's team actually doing their jobs properly and updating the show web page promptly. I am writing this at 13:40 and it seems that today is another of those days when this has simply not happened. How hard can it be?


UPDATE:

Finally, at 15:00 and some three hours after JV's programme started, and an hour after it finished, somebody has actually done their job properly! Perhaps he should think about devoting 30 minutes of his programme one day to discussing paid staff that fail to do their jobs?

So, what did we miss? For completeness... 

1) LEVESON INQUIRY - Yesterday Sally Dowler and Hugh Grant both gave evidence to the Leveson Inquiry. We talk to someone who says the inquiry should be for ordinary people, not celebrities.

 

2) CANCER - A study by Macmillan Cancer Support has shown that people diagnosed with cancer typically live nearly six times longer than 40 years ago. But we discuss the 3 cancers that are still a death sentence: lung, brain and pancreatic.

3) PARK FOOTBALL - A report says that park football can sometimes descend into hooliganism and fighting.

4) KARAOKE - Finally, a man with Downs’ syndrome has been banned from singing karaoke in his local pub. Are people taking karaoke too seriously? Find out more in this article from the Northampton Chronicle & Echo.

 

I listened to JV talking about the Leveson Inquiry on Ken's show. While his sympathies obviously lay with the Dowler family it was interesting to hear him classify so-called celebrities such as Grant, Coogan, et al as non-deserving of their time to give evidence. This is a classic missing of the point for which JV is renowned. These celebrities were only targetted because they are celebrities, and celebrity news sells papers, apparently. If the Daily Scrotum had hacked in to my voicemail they would have found it boring beyond belief. It is not the celebrities that are in the spotlight - it is the Dead Tree Press - and JV's piece on Ken's show sounded to me as if he was deliberately trying to take the "heat" off the newspapers concerned and deflect it elsewhere. Perhaps his view would be different if HIS phone had been tapped by the Mail or one of its bretheren.

Frankly I am amazed that he even talked about this today as the guns are very definitely aimed at the non-Murdoch press, and it would come as no surprise if the Mail On Sunday goes the same way as the News Of The World if the allegations prove to be true. I am not a religious man, but I pray that the BBC somehow gets dragged in to this. Now that would be interesting.

 

Hopefully, normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

Today's show 17/11/11

So, how do you spell "Heroin" when describing the drug? Not with an "e" on the end, as was shown on your web page yesterday before it was corrected. I was SO annoyed with myself that I didn't spot that.

What is it about Thursdays and your web page? This is the third week in a row that the update has been significantly later than other days. Does somebody have a day off on Thursdays?

So, what can I amuse you with while we are waiting? How about this from your beloved Daily Mail...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2062446/BBC-jobs-4-500-titles-2-000-managers.html

Anyone for Decision Support? BBC has 4,500 job titles... and 2,000 of them are managers!

There are almost 4,500 job titles in existence at the Corporation, it has emerged, and almost 2,000 of its staff have the word manager in their title.

It is thought there are even more staff on top of this who are classed as and paid as managers but do not have the word in their job titles.
Last month, BBC chief operating officer Caroline Thomson was asked on Newsnight why when the Corporation wanted to put money into programmes it was at the same time trying to recruit a ‘decision support analyst’ on £58,000 a year.
She admitted: ‘I don’t know what that person actually does but what I do say is that you want the BBC to be a well-managed organisation.’

Good to see Newsnight putting the BBC on the spot. You see Jeremy, it is possible to talk about and castigate the BBC even though they are your employers. You really should try it some time. I'd listen to that!

And then there is this one...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8895154/Feud-between-Robert-Peston-and-Eddie-Mair-erupts-on-Radio-4-PM-programme.html

Feud between Robert Peston and Eddie Mair erupts on Radio 4 PM programme

A feud between two of the BBC's best loved presenters erupted into the open live on radio yesterday when Robert Peston, the Business Editor, accused news presenter Eddie Mair of "casting him out into the wilderness".

Best loved? By who? Not me! So the news reporters become the news. I'm sure that is not how it should be.

And meanwhile the BBC's Freedom Of Information department have actually dained to answer one of my questions. Their response goes likes this:

Freedom of Information request – RFI201112xx

Thank you for your request to the BBC of 10th October, seeking the following information under the Freedom of Information Act 2000:
Has Jeremy Vine received any products from Apple Inc. (manufacturer of the iPad, iPhone, etc.) on a discounted, complimentary, gift or free-of-charge basis in connection with or following any of his broadcasts for the BBC.
First of all please accept my apologies for the delay in responding to your request.
I can confirm that Jeremy Vine has not received any products from Apple on a discounted or complementary basis from Apple. The BBC has strict guidance relating to hospitality and gifts and you can find details at:
http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/foi/classes/policies_procedures/antibribery_policy.pdf

You may also like to know that the BBC has recently introduced anti bribery training which it requires all staff with editorial responsibilities to complete

This is good to know. (Their use of the word "complementary" is, of course, incorrect, despite my information request having it correctly spelt as "complimentary". They also managed to mis-spell two lines of my postal address in their reply. Quality!)

11:30 and still nothing on your web page, so let's have a listen to what happens when Ken takes the p155 out of you..., ooops, I mean... talks to you about your programme today. Oh, here you are now, talking about your dry-cleaning discussion on Twitter for some reason. For God's sake... I'm still blocked by you on Twitter, so my Freedom Of Speech continues to be stifled.

Well, you've just finished with Ken, and still nothing on the web page.

Programme started, still nothing.

12:23, finally updated, but I'm busy now so this is going to have to be quick...

1) SEPP BLATTER - Sepp Blatter says that racism on the football pitch can be absolved by the shake of hands. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : Football? I shall sleep well this afternoon. Next...

2) SYRIA - Syria is a place most of us know little about. If we learn more about the country, would we be prepared to help her people? : You actually said on Ken's show, "We know nothing about Syria". You might not, but I do. Please do not include me in your sweeping generalisations! Not all of your listeners are as thick as you think they are. Next...

3) DRY CLEANING - Were your clothes ruined by dry cleaners? Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : I honestly cannot remember the last time I used a dry cleaners, if I have ever used one at all. Is this news? Next...

4) WORK EXPERIENCE - Should young people be paid to do work experience? We talk to two parliamentary interns who are paid. Find out more in this article from the Guardian : Do you use interns to update your web page? It would explain a lot if you do. You said on Ken's show that one of the interns you were going to speak to works in Ed Miliband's office. Poor bloke. This will brighten his day: http://awkwardedmilibandmoments.tumblr.com/

The Jeremy Vine Show - if only it were as good as Newsnight