30/04/12, 01/05/12 and 02/05/12

I've got some catching up to do, and a convenient break in work-related matters allows me some time to do so, so best get on with it...

Monday produced this load of old rubbish...

1) KHALIL DALE - A British aid worker Khalil Dale is beheaded in Pakistan. He has been described as a gentle man who lived to help others in war zones : Absolutely tragic, but what did your discussion change? Anything? At all? Let me guess... Next...

2) RECESSION - We’re joined by BBC Business editor Robert Peston. We ask “is it possible to talk ourselves into a recession?” : The answer to your question is "Yes" and the BBC will be leading the campaign to do so. You said on Ken's show about Peston: Does he have to have that gleam in his eye as he talks about the recession? The answer to that question is also "Yes", simply because he is paid by and works for the BBC. Like you, it is his job to do so. When the figures were released and the floodgates opened at the BBC as you searched frantically for someone to talk down the economy. I can only guess the jubilation when the BBC found a fellow doom monger by the name of Raymond Moan (yes, really), a building supplies businessman from Northern Ireland. Mr Moan was used on every news broadcast from then on with the BBC ignoring anybody with a different view, as usual. Next...

3) RED KITE - Have you been attacked by a red kite? : I was hit by one in a park when I was a child. I cannot remember the colour for sure, but I think it was blue and yellow. Oh... that kind of kite. No, I've never been attacked by one of those. You said on Ken's show when talking about Pomeranians: I don't know what size of dog that is. Is that not the kind of basic information that you would need to discuss this topic? Were you winging it (pun intended) again Jeremy? And from my knowledge of birds of prey, of which we have many around here, the behaviour and description sound more like a buzzard to me. Next...

4) MISSILES - Residents who live in flats in the East End have been told that they could well have an air-to-air missile on their roof to protect the Olympics : East End of where? Oh, you'll be talking about that there London. There was a classic Jeremy Vine open-mouth-and-insert-foot moment on Ken's show when you said: Surface to air is a bit of a misnomer as they will be on top of a block of flats. How is that a misnomer? It is an entirely accurate description. Was this the second time in one programme when you did not have a clue what you were talking about? Sounds like it to me! And can I have a missile on my roof, please? Target coordinates: W1W 2NY.

On to Tuesday then...

1) FORDS - A man is swept away to his death while attempting to drive through a ford during yesterday’s heavy rain on the Berkshire - Hampshire border. Have you got into trouble while attempting to cross a ford? : No, and I loved the video clip on the BBC news page you linked to which clearly showed a water depth gauge. Radio about stupid people, by stupid people, for stupid people. There is no charge if you want to make that your programme's new slogan. Next...

2) HATE - Astronomer Sir Patrick Moore whose fiancée was killed by a Nazi bomb in World War 2 says it’s still OK to hate the Germans. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : The Daily Mail... what better mouthpiece of the sewer press is there to stir up a bit of racial hatred? And what better mouthpiece of sewer radio is there to further promote it than your programme? You said on Ken's show: Amazing how recently the Germans were still bombing London. The last German air raid on London using conventional bombers (not V1 or V2 rockets) was on the 29 January 1944. That'll be 68 years ago. Is that what you count as "recent"? How are they getting on in Mafeking? Next...

3) COMMUNIST MANIFESTO - It’s May Day, International Workers Day. As the Communist Manifesto, the second biggest selling book of all time, is re-published, we ask whether Communism has any relevance in 2012 : It has as much relevance to me as it has always had: None at all. Needless to say, I did not listen but it was obvious from your Twitter feed that somebody called Daniel Frazer was mightily upset with what you were saying. For the benefit of my blog readers I'll repeat what he said here (http://www.twitlonger.com/show/h7usvt, my emphasis):

@theJeremyVine Of all the trash I have heard from the BBC your show today has to be the worst. Railroading Catholicism with Nazism and Capitalism, leaving Communism as the one true haven. No mention of grinding poverty in Socialist states, no mention of forced famines or gulags. No! just standing behind that Nazism had concentration camps so they were the only evil. What is a gulag or Siberian banishment if not a death camp? You are an abhorrent figure, willingly rallying and distorting the truth about the Communist manifesto and Capitalism. By playing Internationale today will you play Die Farne Hoch on the anniversary of the Munich Putsch? The anthem of a lot less brutal regime in Europe at the time? You do indeed fit the billing to partake in the worst waste of public money in all history, with your red brethren at the BBC. It is just that you and your show will end up in the cesspool of history.

He makes some good points! Next...

4) CANNABIS - And finally, Holland starts to close some of its “coffee shops” to tourists. Did you only go to Amsterdam for the cannabis? : I've been to Amsterdam only once and I was only there long enough to change trains, and I've never had anything to do with cannabis.

And finally, on to today...

1) PRESCRIPTIONS - A new report finds 1 in 6 patients are being given inaccurate prescriptions. We talk to someone about the day they spotted a serious error in their prescription : I rarely have prescriptions, and that has never happened to me. However, I do always check to see I have been given the correct stuff before using it. Obviously I am not a member of your Target Audience. Next...

2) RUPERT MURDOCH - Is Rupert Murdoch unfit to run a major international company? We talk to Tom Watson, hot from the MPs' Select Committee report, who says he clearly is : More Murdoch ... YOU LOVE IT! I have no view on Murdoch's competency to run his own business, but I find it interesting that you have Watson on your programme today. A couple of days ago this interesting little tête-à-tête appeared on your Twitter feed:


That all sounds a bit cosy to me. Anyway, it seems Watson might be in trouble (http://order-order.com/2012/05/01/dial-s-for-special-access-watson-revealed-committee-findings-in-book/) as in his book (the one whose "title is best so far this year") he revealed the committee's findings before they were published. I'd bet that you don't ask him about that. Next...

3) MAYORS - 10 towns and cities vote tomorrow on whether they should have mayors. Do you want a mayor for your city? : My nearest city already has one, thanks. Oh, you've missed out the important words "in England". Deliberate misinformation again Jeremy? Next...

4) ROY HODGSON - The new England manager is already being ridiculed for his speech impediment. What makes people think it's ok to ridicule someone with a speech defect? : Who? Oh, this is to do with sport. How boring. It is better to have a speech defect and talk sense than to talk rubbish perfectly, don't you think? You would know.

The Jeremy Vine Show - always ready to talk to (and pay) Labour MPs but please do not call us biased!

20/04/12

Good afternoon. Here is the news from the BBC:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-17755357

Clock change could leave teenagers more sleepy

Teenagers can suffer severe sleep deprivation when the clocks change, say researchers at the University of Surrey. As this study was small, nine students in total, Mrs Bower says further research is needed.

A survey of just nine students? Thank goodness the BBC brought this to our attention.

http://www.licensemag.com/licensemag/Entertainment/BBC-Signs-Dancing-Deal-with-Avon/ArticleStandard/Article/detail/769804

BBC Signs Dancing Deal with AvonBBC Worldwide Consumer Products has signed a deal with Avon to produce the first range of fragrances based on Dancing with the Stars, the global brand of BBC One’s “Strictly Come Dancing” series.

Mmmm... Eau D'Sweat sounds delightful. Put me down for a few bottles.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9214163/PLS-PIC-AND-PUB-BBC-staff-could-strike-over-Jubilee-weekend.html

BBC staff 'could strike over Jubilee weekend'

BBC staff are to be balloted for strike action that unions warn could disrupt coverage of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee celebrations in June.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2132034/Will-miss-Queens-Jubilee-BBC-staff-balloted-strikes-threaten-coverage-celebration.html

Will we miss the Queen's Jubilee? BBC staff balloted for strikes which could threaten coverage of celebration

They are demanding an increase of  2 per cent above the Retail Price Index rate of inflation, which is currently 3.6 per cent.

 

As you BBC people say: Other broadcasters are available, and free ones at that. Any chance that they could go on strike permanently? They could all be sacked then.

http://www.scotsman.com/edinburgh-evening-news/education/pupil-12-takes-bbc-to-task-over-dumbed-down-current-affairs-1-2246042

Pupil, 12, takes BBC to task over ‘dumbed down’ current affairs

Lachlann, who is in year seven at the private Loretto School in Musselburgh, aired his concerns that Newsround, the 40-year-old news programme, is celebrity news-heavy and “does not give you the in-depth news”. He explained his desire for a greater focus on current affairs, suggesting that the Newsround editors were underestimating the audience and said there was a need for a children’s news programme aimed at the 12-16 age group.

Good for him! I wonder what he thinks of your programme.

And finally, more "news" aimed at children:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/17744487

'Fracking' for gas to carry on, leaving people angry

A controversial way of getting gas from underground will start again, even though some people argue it's not safe. The government reckons it could be also be used in power stations in future, which would mean the UK wouldn't depend on getting expensive fuel from other countries. But some people think fracking could pollute water and others say tidal energy and wind energy are much better options.

 

Go on BBC, keep ramming one side of the argument down their throats. Impartial? No. Unbiased? No. Sensationalist? Yes!

 

 

 

I've just had a quick listen to yesterday's show and you going on about Twitter. Some quotes from you:

"Email sounds old fashioned" - Yet it is the ONLY form of immediate written communication that I can have with your programme (i.e. NOT YOU personally!) because that is what YOU personally have decided. I have absolutely no desire to interact with YOU, but I would like to interact with YOUR PROGRAMME.

"You can tweet me at @theJeremyVine" - No, I can't, because you have blocked me from doing so.

"Here is the Radio 2 guide to Twitter" - Yet no mention of blocking. How odd.

"Tweet from somebody called Kristian, with a K, Webb, and there's a swear word in here so I won't read it: Kindly f*** off you imbecile. You've got all the intelligence of a cancerous polyp. That's a message from him to me" - Have you blocked him? One thing I have never done is resort to such language. All I have done is challenge and question what you do with a genuine desire to discuss, but you block me for daring to do so. Checking through other tweets to you yesterday I see that I am not alone in being blocked by you. Am I one of the "lunatics" that you mentioned?

Anyway, enough of your hypocrisy and blatant double standards, let's look at what I am missing today...

1) BAHRAIN GRAND PRIX - Given the violence and unrest in Bahrain is it right that the Grand Prix goes ahead? : Sport (allegedly), in a country I have never visited, and with Tatchell in the studio to share his wisdom with your listeners. Let me know if and when this discussion, or Tatchell's actions, change anything, will you? I'll be asleep in a corner, somewhere. Next...

2) PICKPOCKETING - A crime survey suggests that there has been a serious increase in pickpocketing. We give you Radio 2’s guide to how to protect yourself from being pickpocketed : I was pickpocketed on a packed Paris RER train a few years ago, simply because of my own stupidity. Rest assured, it will not happen again. Next...

3) HOSEPIPE BAN - Water, water everywhere but not a drop to drink, or rather, don’t use your hosepipe! Martin Lewis tells us how to save water and save money : There is no hosepipe ban here. Having a water meter (by choice) and knowing that I am paying for every drop concentrates the mind wonderfully and we just do not waste water. Two rainwater butts helps too. I don't think I need to listen, do I? Next...

4) STANDING - David Cameron says children should stand up when their parents enter the room. Is this a Tory leader out of touch or a return to good old-fashioned manners? Fing out more in this article from the Telegraph : Fing? Do you actually read the pages you link to? The Telegraph article clearly states: The Prime Minister made the remarks in a speech praising the return of “real discipline” to British schools. He said reforms to the education system would lead to “fantastic outcomes” like children who observe the old-fashioned practice of rising in the presence of an adult. Having listened to you just after 12:00 today you seem to be under the illusion that Cameron would like to see this in family homes which, according to your source, is incorrect. Again, you are just making this stuff up, aren't you?

The Jeremy Vine Show - News Entertainment at its best

16/04/12 and 17/04/12

Tuesday, and I've just listened to your diatribe with Ken. As usual, there was nothing to give me any confidence that you have even the slightest clue what you are talking about, but let's have a quick look at yesterday's programme first...

1) ANDERS BREIVIK - It’s the trial in Norway of Anders Breivik, accused of murdering 77 people. Is Norway treating him more liberally then we would in Britain? : And the point of this question is what, exactly? Norway has its legal system, and we have ours. Now get over it. Next...

2) STILES - There’s a report that in Dartmoor, people want the stiles to be removed from country walks, because disabled and overweight people are having trouble getting over them. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : Another one from the Mail, so it must be true. And your discussion with Ken today confirms that to be true. So what? Slow news day, was it? Next...

3) I LOVE WHERE I LIVE - We launch a Radio 2 special which celebrates every single part of the United Kingdom, “I love where I live”. It’s a one-minute love letter to your town, place or village : I love where I live, that's why I live here. Easy! Next...

4) BIONICS - We meet the fifteen-year old with a bionic arm. He lost the arm when he was very young, now science has replaced it : Wonderful!

On to today then...

1) FRACKING - Today we debate fracking: Will it create almost limitless supplies of cheap natural gas, or will it cause earthquakes and ruin the environment? : I must have missed the news the day the Blackpool Tower collapsed and fell in to the sea following the "earthquake" last year... The word "debate" usually means a frank discussion by parties of differing views. You mentioned on Ken's show that your (only?) guest on this item would be somebody from the "Ribble Estuary Against Fracking" (REAF, presumably) campaign. And your other guest, who will argue the benefits of fracking will be ... non-existent, presumably. I'd had enough of this listening to Chris Evans this morning who gave the kind of one-sided argument of which you would have been proud. My opinion on fracking is of no matter, but I do object to you and your colleagues continuing with your biased messages. It was on 24th May that you last discussed this, and a subsequent email exchange between myself and so-called BBC Science Correspondent Roger Harrabin failed to give me any kind of impression that he had a clue what he was talking about:

Me: You said: "It is the fracking process - creating tiny explosions to shatter hard shale rocks and release gas 10,000 feet underground - that has caused so much controversy in the US. Some householders claim that shale gas leaking into their drinking supply causes tap water to ignite.". The suggestion is that shale gas percolates nearly two miles up through the earth's crust and then seeps through metal or plastic pipes containing water under pressure and then bursts in flames out of water taps with no source of ignition. Would you care to suggest how this can happen? Do you have any documentary evidence of such an occurrence?

Harrabin: Many share your incredulity.

Me: So you made it up then? No facts, no news!

Harrabin: No that's silly

If he can't explain his own writings, why would you be any different? And I've just listened to Richard Black spout his usual biased rubbish, and he'll get a gold star from somebody for crow-barring "global warming" in to the discussion. Well done Richard, I don't believe a word you say! And I've also listened to the woman from REAF who, shall we say, failed to convince me that she even knows what day of the week it is. Presumably the people you speak to (a) use electricity, (b) hate nuclear energy, (c) hate the burning of fossil fuels, and (d) fail to acknowledge the inefficiency and impracticality of wind farms. Unfortunately they also fail to come up with any other alternative, other than a UK with no electricity.

So let me re-word that question for you: Will it create almost limitless supplies of cheap natural gas, or will the UK media cause so much hysteria amongst an ill-informed population that any possible benefits will be missed? Next...

2) EMERGENCY LANDING - A Virgin Atlantic plane makes an emergency landing at Gatwick Airport. Some passengers said the cabin crew panicked. We investigate : You? Investigate? Don't make me laugh. You don't investigate anything. You'll read it in the Daily Mail. You said on Ken's show, "We're still checking the facts". Checking the facts? Blimey ... it has never bothered you before, why is this story so different? After all, you didn't bother to check the facts when talking about Chris Davies MEP's earnings, did you? Next...

3) WIRRAL COUNCIL - Should Wirral council be sponsoring its local football club Tranmere Rovers, when it’s closing down care homes for the elderly? Find out more in this article from The Telegraph : Oooh, a vote. I don't live on the Wirral and I hate football so, and on the basis that you like everybody to have an opinion, here is mine: I could not care less. Next...

4) SAILING MISHAPS - A father and son who bought a yacht from an online auction site crashed it into the rocks off Guernsey. We hear tales of inexperienced idiots and sailing mishaps : And your special guest will be the captain of the Costa Concordia, presumably? Radio about idiots made by idiots presumably for idiots. Target audience! Get Richard Black back on.

The Jeremy Vine Show - not today, thank you


UPDATE: After a visit to http://biased-bbc.com I was reminded of this:
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100111487/how-many-died-in-the-great-blackpool-earthquake-of-11/

11/04/12

Well, this is nice. It has just gone 09:00 and Richard Madeley is droning on about nothing in particular, as usual, on the radio in the next room. Hang on... click, off, gone... there, that's better.

There have been some interesting retweets on your feed in the last 24 hours. The first one was this from @RadioToday:
Radio 2's @theJeremyVine to do Bristol Q&A:http://radiotoday.co.uk/2012/04/radio-2s-jeremy-vine-to-do-bristol-qa/ #radionews
The link takes us to page that says: Jeremy’s session for the Radio Academy will cover his life, work and his love of radio. He’ll also talk about journalism and offer advice for all those wishing to enter the profession. The event is free for Radio Academy members and £10 for non-members.
I'm almost tempted to go, but in all honesty I can't be bothered. I'd love to hear your advice to journalists though. Will it include speculation, lieing, conjecture, illegal activities, arrogance, disrespect for the UK public and not getting caught? If not, what ARE you going to say?

Most of your retweets seem to be of the "Sometimes @theJeremyVine show is the only thing that gets me through the day" kind but you have posted a couple of "anti" messages, such as this one:
RT @Atko86: Because me and @Iainrobbo468 work with old dears we gotta listen to your pony radio show!!!! <~~~ COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS
Having moved away from London nearly 30 years ago, it is a long time since I have heard the word "pony" used as rhyming slang, but well done you for retweeting an "anti" message. I'm not sure what blessings the messager was meant to be counting though.

And this one:
“@CanLaw: @theJeremyVine @radioleary @whichpennysmith Get a life, you pathetic ignorant loser” <~~~~ WHICH OF US? YOU HAVE TO NARROW IT DOWN
A poorly directed message there, and the "Get a life..." phrase seems to be a standard response by @CanLaw, but that was a good retort on your part. I get similar comments left on my blog from time to time by fans of your programme.

Anyway, enough of the joys of Twitter. What did I miss yesterday? Not much by the look of it...

1) TAX RETURNS - Should all MPs publish their tax returns? : If that meant I can see how Galloway makes his money then yes, they should. The BBC news page you link to says "Four of the Mayoral candidates - Mr Livingstone, Conservative Boris Johnson, Lib Dem Brian Paddick and the Green Party's Jenny Jones - published their tax records after the Conservative and Labour candidates clashed last week.". I was unaware that Livingstone had actually provided full details but instead had only provided a sanitised version (http://order-order.com/2012/04/05/ken-is-the-14-5-former-climate-change-adviser-knocked-up-partial-figures/). Now, I know that research is not your strong point, but how could you get your programme guest's financial details so wrong? You spoke to Chris Davies MEP and said "In my hand, Chris Davies, I have got your tax return" and went on to say "it says employment 57657" at which point Mr Davies corrects you with a higher figure and one that coincides (within a few pounds) of what he has on his current tax return available on his web site (http://chrisdaviesmep.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/Tax-Return-2011.pdf). So tell me Jeremy, why did your Researchers (and I use that term merely as a job title and not as a description of what they actually do) fail you so badly again? And why should anyone believe a single word that you say? Next...

2) HOMELESS IMMIGRANTS - Homeless migrants who are living near a Northampton roundabout have been urged to speak to authorities or face eviction : From what I heard when you spoke to Zoe yesterday, it was the roundabout aspect of this story that was of more interest to you than the homeless migrants. So, I had a good think to try and remember where my nearest roundabout is and, having remembered, I checked Google Street View to see that it is only about 5 feet in diameter, built entirely of brick and contains four arrow traffic indicators. There was no sign of any homeless people. The BBC news page you link to is a classic, as it says "The migrants, known locally as the roundabout people, have set up home (using woodland) on the Barnes Meadow roundabout." and then says under the picture "It is not known whether the woodland at Barnes Meadow is still occupied". If this is such an important story that nobody could be bothered to check, why were you talking about it? Next...

3) MUGABE - We look at what has happened to the Zimbabwean opposition as the country denies reports that its president Robert Mugabe is dying in a hospital in Singapore. Find out more in this article from the Mirror : I'm going to have to think about this for a second. Who should I believe? The Zimbabwe authorities? The Daily Mirror? You? They are all as trustworthy as each other. Hmmm.... Next...

4) AFTERNOON TEA - And have you been astonished at the high cost of afternoon tea? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : Never having partaken, my answer is "No". Like the BBC, these establishments can charge what they like. Unlike the BBC, we consumers have a choice whether to pay.

The Jeremy Vine Show - Pony and trap ... you can work it out yourself!

09/04/10 and 10/04/10

Hi Jeremy,

Remember me? I'm back! I bet you're pleased about that. I've had a couple of weeks off while I do some stuff and reassess what I want to do with regard to your programme and my blog. But you need not worry: This festering sore is not going to go away just yet. Instead, I am going to email you (and update my blog) as and when I can rather than trying to do it as your programme starts. Frankly, I have got better things to do than tell you what I think of your programme, and this is not helped by the incompetence and tardiness of whoever it is (who is it?) who is responsible for updating your show web page every day. In my recent second appeal letter to the BBC Trust I have promised to stop filing complaints about how late these updates can be some days, so my best course of action is to stop waiting for them and write this rubbish later in the day and after somebody has done the job that I pay them to do.

All this means, of course, is that I will no longer be telling you "I won't be listening today because..." and future messages will tell you simply what I think of the topics you decided to discuss on previous shows. The advantages to me are:
 - no time constraint
 - the web page will have been updated
 - I can have a good laugh at any relevant bits by using iPlayer

A win-win-win situation, I think!

I wonder what I missed while I was having a break? Well, actually I couldn't care less what I missed to be honest, but I do know that I missed Feltz talking (talking? or fawning?) to Galloway. So that was a result then. I cannot think of two people I would rather never hear ever again.

I bet I didn't miss you discussing this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2126040/BBC-bias-Is-Corporation-representing-British-nation.html

The BBC has a duty to represent the British nation...but is it doing so?

There's an interesting dialogue taking place on the internet.  It can be seen in blogs, chatrooms and on social network sites and it runs something like this: why is the BBC TV news output so selective in what - and who - it chooses to cover? It's fair to say, though, that there exists an angry crowd of people pounding on their keyboards and some of what they have to say about our Great British institution is less than endearing. Just as importantly, I feel, is the fact that dissenting voices have increased in volume and intensity over the past couple of years and show no sign of abating.

Perhaps I should get a job at the Daily Mail? Or perhaps not ... <shudder>

And then there was this one:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/9189380/BBC-accused-of-TV-licence-rip-off.html

BBC accused of TV licence rip-off

The BBC is over-charging millions of people for their licence fees by selling "annual" permits that only last 11 months, it can be disclosed. The corporation has been making up to £25m a year through the little-known loophole, which has been condemned as "unfair" and a "rip off". Any viewer buying a TV licence for the first time is charged £145.50 for a year-long permit. But under current arrangements, the new licence expires 12 months from the first day of the month in which it is purchased. This means that an ‘annual’ licence bought on April 30 2012 will actually run out at midnight on March 31 2013.

The BBC? Ripping off the people who fund it? Who'd have thought such a thing could ever happen. Oh, hang on, silly me.

And then, of course, there is possibly the biggest organised cover-up of criminal behaviour ever seen in the UK:
http://order-order.com/2012/04/10/britains-biggest-establishment-cover-up-conspiracy-thousands-of-crimes-committed-by-over-300-journalists-protected-from-exposure-by-a-judge-and-newspaper-editors/

In the course of the Inquiry Leveson has received prima facie evidence of some thousands of crimes committed by hundreds of journalists. The Operation Motorman files gathered by the Information Commissioner expose a culture of criminality in the day-to-day functioning of the media. The corrupting of police and other offices of the crown was a matter of course not only at the News of the World and other Murdoch titles, it was also the case at the Mail and the Mirror newspaper groups as well. The silence on this issue from these newspapers is because they fear a circular firing squad. Leveson has the evidence required to initiate criminal actions and civil actions by thousands of victims of crimes committed by newspaper journalists. Guido challenged Leveson to his face to publish the evidence, thus allowing the victims of industrial scale illegal invasions of privacy to get justice. Leveson claimed it was difficult nine years on. Guido understands that there have been two applications to Leveson to release the Operation Motorman files. The applications, heard in private, were refused. So in Britain we have a situation where the judge charged with investigating the crimes carried out by the media is covering up their crimes. There is an overwhelming public interest in the victims getting justice.

Go on then, discuss that one day. I dare you. Journalism in this country is facing its biggest crisis with huge swathes of the population simply not believing a word that ANY journalist says, including you. So try and explain why your journalist bretheren should not be shot in front of their families. I'd listen. To put it in simple terms: JOURNALISTS ARE SCUM!

One thing I didn't miss was you saying last Friday, "You can tweet me at @TheJeremyVine and we can discuss these topics out of hours". Really? Can I really discuss this stuff with you? If so, let's give it a go. Oh, and you'll need to unblock my Twitter account first ... won't you.

Let's start the day-by-day analysis by looking at yesterday's programme (Monday 9th April). Working on a Bank Holiday ... I can't remember you doing that before!

1) BOAT RACE DISRUPTION - The protestor who disrupted this year's Boat Race has now been charged. How do we avoid similar incidents at the Olympics or the Jubilee celebrations? : My interest in anything sporty is legend and as close to non-existent as it is possible to be. BUT, had I have been in one of those boats on Saturday I would have made sure that this idiot had got an accidental clout from my oar before the race was stopped. I'm just listening to this on iPlayer and waiting patiently for you to come up with a concrete proposal ... ah, here we go: "If this person had been running in to a Presidential motorcade he would have been shot" and "If he thought we would have been shot for swimming in the water he wouldn't have done it". An interesting suggestion Jeremy, that'll boost the TV ratings. And the security expert you interviewed said "There is no way you are going to prevent it". This was then followed by some inane comments from your inane listeners (shooting with an underwater harpoon, for example). And guess what? Other than shooting the person involved, you failed to come up with any useful suggestion. I bet Teresa May was devastated. OK, enough of iPlayer now. Remind me, what was the point of this discussion again? Next...

2) RAUNCHY MUSIC VIDEOS - Should raunchy music videos get an 18 rating? : What, and deny legions of teenage boys 30 seconds of pleasure? You are such a spoilsport. Next...

3) DOMESTIC SERVICE - Was one of your parents or grandparents in domestic service? : No, they were not. I love questions like that. Next...

4) ANIMAL IN HEADLIGHTS - A driver writes off his Ferrari trying to avoid a hedgehog in the road. Do you swerve when you see an animal in your headlights? Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : Stop, yes. Swerve, no. We get all sorts of wildlife on the roads around here: hedgehogs, sheep, rabbits, cows, deer, badgers, foxes, owls. I've managed to avoid them all. And good to see the Mail is still providing garbage for your programme, especially when it involves a story from Germany. Was there no UK news then?

OK, that's one day down so perhaps I should do today's show too. I did notice at about 1:30 that the web site hadn't been updated. Some things never change, but that particular failing of the BBC is no longer an issue ... so here we go...

1) EXTRADITION - The European Court of Human Rights rules that five terrorism suspects - including the radical Islamic cleric, Abu Hamza - can be extradited to the US : I hear that Guantanamo Bay is nice at this time of year. An interesting tweet from Stewart Jackson MP appeared on your feed earlier: Went head to head with human rights lawyer @TheJeremyVine show. Out of touch & publicly funded (mostly). Public have human right to be safe. Out of touch and publicly funded? Who WAS he talking about? Next...

2) CHARITY FUNDRAISERS - Volunteer fundraisers in Aldeburgh withdraw their support from the Macmillan cancer charity because they say the organisation hired door-to-door collectors who used high-pressure techniques. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : Living in a rural area as I do, the number of "cold" door-to-door callers that we suffer per month can probably be counted on one foot of a three-toed sloth. A well-known double-glazing company who tell me I should "fit the best" are regular if infrequent visitors, but even they are starting to understand the meaning of "Go away, and get off my property". I find that works quite nicely. It does not make economic sense for charitable organisations to target this area, and any charity I choose to support would not do such a thing (and I would soon cease to support them if they did). I find it amazing that some people allow themselves to be ambushed in the street and are then conned in to signing a direct debit for a montly payment to a charity not necessarily of their choice. Oh, hang on... I remember you saying to Zoe earlier today that this happened to you. Says it all really. Next...

3) TITANIC - One hundred years ago today the Titanic set sail from Southampton. Do you have a personal connection with someone who was on that fateful voyage? : No. Instead of reading all that "Night To Remember" stuff, get yourself a copy of "Titanic : The Ship That Never Sank" and a copy of the Board Of Trade enquiry in to the sinking. You might learn something. Next...

4) HAIRDRESSERS - Hairdressers are angered by EU proposals to encourage hairdressers to have regular ‘social dialogue’ to encourage ‘mental wellbeing’ in the workplace. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : And the Mail again ... bless! Sporting as I do a fine head of skin, my barber (he is not a hairdresser and would be offended by the term if used to describe him) does not take long to do a trim around the edges every couple of months. Our conversation is usually driven by me, and I have often caused a chuckle among other waiting customers when I have asked him "Have you been anywhere nice on holiday then?". Our bi-monthly meetings usually end with a genuinely warm and friendly handshake as I give him £7 and remind him that he has only done half a job while he tells me to get the hell out of his shop, and don't come back until the next time. He is a top bloke, and he does a fine job.

 

So there we go. That was fun! Let's do it again soon.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - shooting is the only possible solution

Today's show 06/03/12

Good morning. Here is the news from the BBC:

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4172233/BBC-blows-13m-on-TV-licence-threat-letters.html

BBC blows £13m on TV licence threat letters

THE BBC was blasted last night for spending £13.5MILLION on chasing unpaid licence fees over the past four years. It has sent out a staggering 85million warning letters — dubbed "threatograms". The huge bill, with each reminder now costing 18.3p in postage, was footed by licence fee payers who stump up £145.50 a year to watch telly.

All part of the unique way in which WE fund the BBC, of course.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9124453/BBC-refuses-to-sign-pledge-to-get-more-women-on-screen.html

BBC refuses to sign pledge to get more women on screen

The BBC is the only major broadcaster to refuse to sign a pledge to increase the number of women in heavyweight roles on screen – despite Mark Thompson admitting that the corporation "got it wrong on women" in the past. However, the BBC – which has recently admitted it does not have enough women in serious news and current affairs roles – said it would not sign up because of its duty to represent all licence fee holders. A BBC spokesman said the corporation was "sympathetic to the aims of the Broadcast pledge" but the licence fee means it is unable to endorse campaigns.

I can only take this to mean that the BBC considers that women do not represent licence fee holders, or that women don't need to buy a TV licence. And I can think of many, many campaigns that the BBC has endorsed over the years....!

But hush my mouth! In this particular environment the BBC is absolutely sacrosanct and can do no wrong in any way. Silly me. Instead we have this...

1) BUYING BRITISH - Ed Miliband says it’s time we supported British manufacturing. Would you go out of your way to buy British or are you solely driven by quality and value for money?: It depends what I am buying, but generally my answers would have to be no, and no. Should I call in and tell you that? Miliband has been all over the BBC today promoting this ... almost as if the BBC were endorsing a campaign. Just out of curiousity, what makes you think I would do anything that multi-millionaire Ed Miliband told me to do? He makes me laugh though: http://awkwardedmilibandmoments.tumblr.com/ Next...

2) CHILD PORNOGRAPHY - A dad from Hull accidentally downloaded child pornography. He immediately told the police, but the police had said they need to investigate and he can’t be left alone with his child for many months. Find out more from the Hull Daily Mail : I am assuming this has been reported correctly, but there was no mention by you on Ken's show that you would be talking to the Chief Commissioner of Humberside Police to find out what is going on. From that I can only assume that you won't be helping this chap. Changing nothing, as usual? Come on Jeremy, get to the bottom of this and make a difference for once! Next...

3) CHILD BENEFIT - The government wants to cut child benefit for high rate tax payers who earn over £42,475 a year. Is this fair? : We still have no children, we don't earn over £42,475 a year, we don't get any benefits, and that is not fair. Shall I call in about this one too? Next...

4) BENGHAZI WAR GRAVES - And finally, the war graves in a British cemetery in Benghazi, Libya, were desecrated over the weekend. Does this anger you because your father or grandfather fought in the north African campaign? : My father was in North Africa during the World War Two and he is alive and well, thank you. I see your usual striving for accuracy is meeting its regular standard: If these graves were "desecrated over the weekend" how is it that James Delingpole posted a link to the video last Friday? (http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/jamesdelingpole/100140857/cameron-vindicated-grateful-libyan-people-thank-britain-for-their-liberation-from-gadaffi/) By the way, did you hear that Queen Victoria has died?

The Jeremy Vine Show - our news is anything but new

Today's show 27/02/12

Monday morning again, and let's start in the usual way with a story that you probably won't be covering today, or any other day...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-2106177/Now-theres-bonus-deadbeats.html
Now there's a bonus for deadbeats

... The report, by veteran commercial radio executive John Myers, is yet to be published but I’m told it reveals an extraordinary arrangement with regard to BBC staff wages. Apparently, any employee at one of the 40 local radio stations (which employ a total of 3,000 people) who has gone five years without promotion will receive a cheque for £4,600 — which is described as ‘disappointment’ money. So let’s get this right. You are hopeless at your job and are given no incentive by your bosses to improve because you will still automatically pick up a nice bonus cheque.

I've been disappointed by the BBC for years, so where is my cheque?

I think today's items can be dealt with quickly today as not one of them is relevant to me...

1) SYRIA - The wife of a British photographer trapped in Syria says everything should be done to get him out, but what if that risks other lives? : Are you expecting me to have any sympathy for a journalist? Dream on. He knew the risks. But what are you going to do about his situation? Oh yes, absolutely nothing. But you are going to talk about it, which is nice. Meanwhile, innocent civilians are being killed in Syria, yet they are not as newsworthy as a journalist who went there of his own free will - apparently. Next...

2) SCHMALLENBERG VIRUS - The lambing season is already underway in some places, but farms have been hit by the Schmallenberg virus, carried by midges from Germany : As I type this, I can look out of my window and see sheep in the field across the road from my home. The virus sounds horrible, and I can sympathise with the farmers involved. However, I am not a sheep farmer and I have learnt all I need to know from the DEFRA web site (http://www.defra.gov.uk/animal-diseases/a-z/schmallenberg-virus/). Next...

3) SOCIALIST WORKERS PARTY - Has the government’s workfare scheme effectively been taken apart by the Socialist Workers Party? Some say it’s a rotten policy and that’s fair enough, but others say they’ve had too much influence : There is, as you well know, another organisation that has had too much influence on the "workfare" scheme. That organisation is your beloved BBC which seems to be hell-bent on rubbishing workfare at every possible opportunity. This has grown to the extent that an MP is now making a formal complaint (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2106601/Tories-order-police-halt-workfare-demos-MP-makes-formal-protest-BBC-bias-favour-hard-Left-militants.html) about biased BBC workfare reporting. I can only hope that her complaint goes further than the mythical Audience Log where most of mine end up. I remain self-employed and would not qualify to join the workfare scheme. Next...

4) CHIMNEY FIRES - After a spate of chimney fires in Devon — 39 in a week! — we find out why they start and how to prevent them : One of the things that is needed for a chimney fire is a chimney. Can you guess how many we have? Let me give you a clue: It is a round number less than one.

The Jeremy Vine Show - believe us when we say "journalists are special"

UPDATE:

Just noticed on your Twitter feed that the first story has changed and the photographer trapped in Syria is no longer news. I bet his wife will be delighted! Anyway, we now have this drivel instead:

EYESORES - A bungalow with a beautiful view has been put up for sale on the island of Anglesey. The only trouble is – the estate agent’s photo doesn’t show a horrible huge TV mast behind it. However, maybe your lovely house is next to an eyesore but you just don’t care. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : It isn't, and if there had been an eyesore here I am sure that I would have seen it before purchasing. Meanwhile, I am sure the estate agent will be grateful for the free publicity. And it is LLANDONNA, and not LLANDONA as you put on Twitter.

Today's show 21/02/12

Ooohhh.... you've given me plenty to pull to pieces today, so thanks for that...

1) CONFRONTING ANDREW LANSLEY - An angry woman, June Hautot, confronts the health secretary Andrew Lansley over the government’s NHS bill. Who did you have sympathy with? We talk to Gillian Duffy, who famously confronted Gordon Brown : You said on Zoe's show "She (Hautot) had been in a union, I think". You think? Didn't you bother to check your own BBC news pages? If you'd have looked at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-17093082 you would see "One woman, June Hautot, a former Unison rep, barred his way...". Unlike yourself, I have done my research and it was Guido Fawkes who provided the answers that I was looking for, and you couldn't be bothered to find. Take a look at http://order-order.com/2012/02/20/scargills-granny-lansley-baiter-is-seasoned-lefty-agitator/ and you will find:
June Hautot, a former Unison rep, told the Workers Revolutionary Party magazine last month: "I’m all for occupations. That’s our only ammunition to stop closures".
She also once attempted to sue Wandsworth Council over plans to develop Battersea Power Station, but her looney-left activism doesn’t stop there. According to the Glasgow Herald in 1997 she “shared a cell with Mrs Scargill”after she was arrested with Arthur’s wife protesting open cast mines. It was inevitable this seasoned activist was going to have her moment.

In my mind, this makes her confrontation with Lansley nothing more than a publicity stunt, so my sympathies certainly do not lie with her. And it comes as no surprise to see Gillian Duffy back on your programme. After all, there is nothing quite like reliving past Jeremy Vine Show glories, is there? It is just such a shame that you won't let people confront you in the same way as Hautot confronted Lansley. Next...

2) DROUGHT - A drought has been declared in much of England. Should England be made to pay for the water it gets from Wales? : You mentioned the Tryweryn Reservoir and the flooding of Capel Celyn on Zoe's show, and "the church is under water". No, it isn't. All of the buildings were demolished before the valley was flooded. The contents of the church graveyard was removed and reinterred on the shore, and a new building provided as a memorial. Tryweryn is not the only man-made reservoir here in Wales built by the English using parliamentary powers to provide England with water, and with little say for the Welsh residents affected. Thirty five out of thirty six Welsh MPs opposed the bill to construct Tryweryn, yet still it was passed. As a result the creation of this reservoir played a big part in the desire for Welsh self-governance. Moving away from our water, I find it very interesting to see the BBC spinning the drought scare for the south east, and I was expecting you to wheel out the "climate change" argument, but it seems as though you have resisted that temptation. In the news bulletins I have heard so far, the BBC has consistently failed to point out we get plenty of rain in the UK and the south east, but we just don't catch enough of it. Can you remember when the last new reservoir was built anywhere near that there London? I can't, yet the south east has had a massive rise in population and industry over the last 15 years. The south east doesn't need more rain - it needs more storage! And here in Wales we have sufficient water for our needs, thanks. Next...

3) MALE RAPE VICTIMS - We discuss the campaign to encourage men to be more open about male rape. Find out more from Survivors UK : Thankfully Jeremy, this has never happened to me. Next...

4) SPIDERS - Finally, a man collapses after being bitten ten times by a rare spider in Toys R Us. Find out more in this article from the Mirror : The Mirror? What's wrong with the good old ever-reliable Daily Mail, he asked sarcastically? They have covered it and give a little bit more information (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2103818/Father-collapses-bitten-10-times-UKs-venomous-spider-falls-HOOD.html), in particular: "Mr Galton, from Southampton, Hampshire, had been aware of several stings during the day and had assumed they had come from a bee.". Several stings? And he had not bothered to look what was causing them? Am I supposed to have some sympathy with this idiot? The toy shop connection is also completely bogus, and I fail to see its relevance. Well done!

The Jeremy Vine Show - long overdue for a confrontation

Today's show 16/02/12

A quick one today...

Well, it was going to be a quick one but at 11:50 I'm still waiting for "somebody" to update your web page. What is it about Thursdays? I'll come back in a bit.

12:00, and here we go...

1) HONDURAS PRISON FIRE - A fire sweeps through a prison in Honduras, killing more than 350 inmates : A tragedy. You asked on Ken's show what arrangements are made should a prison catch fire in the UK. Knowing the comprehensive Health & Safety and Fire Safety regimes that we have in this country, I feel sure that some arrangements have been made, and this is confirmed by http://www.hse.gov.uk/foi/internalops/fod/oc/300-399/334-2.htm#para65-78. It is called "research" Jeremy, you should try it some time. And no, I don't mean sitting in a cafe reading the papers. Next...

2) DANGEROUS PARKS - A thirteen year old is stabbed to death in a park in Doncaster that locals say has a reputation for antisocial behaviour. Is there a park near you that you always avoid? : Another tragedy. No, there is not. Next...

3) MIRIAM O'REILLY - We speak to ex-Countryfile presenter, Miriam O'Reilly, who is leaving the BBC to fight for women's equality one year after winning an age discrimination case against the corporation : Your web page has a link to the BBC News page about the Honduras prison fire, so I had to go looking for this one elsewhere, and I found this:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2101339/RICHARD-KAY-Miriams-axeman-quits-BBC-.html

RICHARD KAY: Miriam's axeman quits the BBC...

Dropped from the Countryfile show three years ago because she was said to be too old, BBC TV presenter Miriam O’Reilly could be forgiven for feeling a sense of satisfaction today. The man responsible for axeing her is quitting the Corporation after 35 years. For 12 months after Miriam won her landmark discrimination case at an employment tribunal — and just five days after BBC director-general Mark Thompson, errrr, ummmm, admitted, errrr, there are not, ummmm, not enough older women, errrr, on screen — TV executive Andrew Thorman learns his own job is being abolished.
I continue to be a man, and while I have some support for O'Reilly's campaign, it comes as no surprise to me that you will not be focussing on the real story - Kay's departure - because it would involve criticising your beloved Biased Broadcasting Conglomerate. ‘The decision to abolish my role is plain wrong at a time when more than seven million people are regularly watching Countryfile. It’s a retrograde step,’ he (Kay) says. On that basis alone he should have been sacked years ago. Next...

4) MORBIDLY OBESE - Plymouth City Council is challenging the level of care it gives to a morbidly obese woman, saying her worst enemy is her own “dependency” on the state. Find out more from the Plymouh Herald : Your programme is turning in to Jeremy Kyle On The Radio. On Ken's show you described this as "a very, very interesting story". Once again Jeremy, I beg to differ. Trying valiantly to sound interested, Ken said "You can see both sides" and was grateful the decisions in this case would be taken by others and "We can just talk about it". Which is, of course, all your programme ever does.

The Jeremy Vine Show - Continuing to just talk about it

Today's show 25/01/12

I'm busy today, and to offer some relief from yesterday's diatribe, let's just have a quick one today...

Good to see on your Twitter feed that you are aware of the Leveson Inquiry and today's appearance of the NOTW journalist known as the Fake Sheikh: Instead of reporter Mazher Mahmood appearing off-camera at #Leveson, what about if everyone at the hearing had to dress as a sheikh. How we laughed. Good to see too that your "Murdoch Empire Only" filter is in full working order as you conveniently ignore evidence given by the Daily Mail, Daily Mirror and our very own BBC. Well done. Your masters will be proud of you.

But you won't be discussing that today, will you...

 

1) GROWTH FIGURES - With growth in the UK down by 0.2%, we talk to someone that says zero growth is no bad thing – it’s time we got used to it and embraced it : It was, of course, Gordon The Great who said "No more boom and bust". Well, he was half correct, I suppose. Do I need another mysterious "someone" telling me what to think? No, I don't think I do, thanks. Next...

2) PARENTS WALKING OUT - One in five parents who walk out on their families end up never seeing their children again. Do you remember the day your dad walked out, never to be seen again? : No, sorry, I don't remember that, because he didn't. Next...

3) SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE - Alex Salmond starts the consultation period on the Scottish referendum. Today we have a special programme on the big questions that will affect Scottish independence: What will happen to the pound, the Queen, the debt, the BBC, passports and the army? : As a resident of Wales, I hope you will understand how little interest this holds for me. Next...

4) NORTHERN LIGHTS - Have you ever seen the wonder that is the Northern Lights? Apparently this week it’s even been visible from northern England : Apparently? Haven't you checked? They may have appeared in Northern England, but not here in North Wales. "Is it Aurora Borealis?", you asked on Ken's show. Prior research never has been your strong point, has it?

 

Some days you make this really difficult, and today was one of those days, only alleviated by the forthcoming cut-and-thrust of PMQs...

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - No Costa Concordia today, for some reason

Today's show 12/01/12

08:45 : Today's programme @BBCRadio2 in four words: Welfare. Whiplash. Murder? Cough.

11:30 : Still nothing on your show web page. After a flurry of prompt updates to start 2012, is this now going to be the norm?

Today's issue that affects me: Despite the best efforts of our cats and a humane trap, there is no sign of the mouse yet... :-(

Are you discussing anything political today?
How about Ed Miliband's cock-up in PMQs yesterday when he accused Cameron of removing a cap on rail fares, when it was actually a decision made while he was in government? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-16512206
Or the Sun/YouGov poll issued yesterday evening which showed that 6% of Labour voters and 26% of LibDem voters think that DAVID CAMERON makes a better Prime Minister than Ed Miliband or Nick Clegg? http://cdn.yougov.com/cumulus_uploads/document/1gta5x2v78/YG-Archives-Pol-Sun-results-110112.pdf

Or how about Tesco's announcement of its drop in sales over the Christmas period? Surely Antony Worral Thompson must take some of the blame? http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-16524387

11:45 and somebody has put the first item up, so is there any chance of you discussing something that may interest or affect me today? Let's see...

1) WHIPLASH - If you have a minor car crash, how easy is it to make an insurance claim for whiplash? : You described this on Ken's show as "whooshing". You were not very clear on its definition, and a search in Google does not tell me anything, so I shall remain puzzled, and even more so as you said "I don't know if you can be whooshed if you stop the whooshing". Listening to your chat with Ken, he seems to know far more about this than you do, and I loved his comment "How's your neck? Still brass?". Do you actually hear what he says, or do you just choose to ignore it? I was last involved in a car accident in 2006 and suffered a minor back injury as a result of somebody else's incompetent driving. I did not suffer from whiplash, whiplash was never discussed, and I am not aware that I was "whooshed". Next...

OK... I'll wait now for the remaining items to appear.

11:50, here we go...

2) WELFARE REFORM - The House of Lords has defeated the government’s attempt to reform welfare payments to the disabled : Fortunately, I am not disabled. Unfortunately, I do not qualify for any welfare payments. Next...

3) EDDIE GILFOYLE - Eddie Gilfoyle spent 18 years in prison for murdering his wife. He claims new evidence has come to light that proves he is innocent : I feel sure that you will start a campaign to help this man. Or perhaps not. Crank up the SVG ... number 4 today, I think. In the meantime, have you seen the price of brussel sprouts? Next...

4) COUGHING - Do you have a persistent irritating cough that you just can’t get rid of? : No.

Four out of four again Jeremy, well done!

I shall be in self-inflicted exile over on 6 Music from 12, as usual.

The Jeremy Vine Show - a persistant irritating radio show that you just can't get rid of.

Today's show 09/01/12

Monday morning, and a loud grating noise emanates from the BBC offices in Western House, Great Portland Street, London as the weekend news barrel is scraped yet again for something - anything - that you can blow out of all proportion on today's programme.

Today's issue that affects me: At just before midnight last night, one of our cats found a live mouse in our kitchen pantry. One of our other cats joined in the chase and they managed to catch the mouse in their mouths several times, but not well enough to, errr...., despatch it in the way that we, or they, would have liked. The mouse escaped and vanished through a tiny hole under the kitchen cupboards. Pulling out the washing machine allowed both cats to search the area, but to no avail. It has to be said that the mouse was probably only in the kitchen because it had been transported in by one of them as part of their self-catering feeding arrangements. So, should I be worried about this? Should I let the cats find and deal with the mouse in their own way and own time? Should I put down a trap (not keen)? Or should I just accept that having mice in the house is just part of living in one of the most beautiful country areas of the UK?

As ever, you won't be discussing any issues that affect me, so let us look at the four issues that you think might possibly be of interest to me today, and I'll explain why you are so, so wrong:

1) SCOTTISH INDEPENDENCE - The Scottish nationalists want a referendum on independence in 2014. David Cameron is trying to out-manoeuvre them by saying we should get on with it and have a referendum in 2012 : While it is good to see you talking about a story that is not centred around London and the South East, I think you are confusing me with somebody who lives in Scotland. I last went there about 20 years ago, and have no plans to return, so this holds absolutely no interest for me. Next...

2) EXECUTIVE PAY - The government wants a crack down on top executive pay. Are you a small shareholder who thinks it’s time for us to all get stuck in and hold these bosses to account? : I am a TV Licence Tax payer and I would like to hold the BBC to account over what it pays its senior managers and presenters, including yourself. For example, is a BBC presenter such as yourself worth a salary package worth hundreds of time more than the man or woman who makes the tea in the BBC canteen? I think not. The BBC shareholders, i.e. all licence fee payers, should be allowed a binding vote on the level of executive pay at the BBC. The bureaucratic BBC would then find out that most of the thousands of staff with 'manager' in their job title would be voted a salary of absolutely nothing and booted off the payroll. But, as is usual, the BBC can do no wrong in your eyes, so you won't be discussing this today. What a shame, because I would have listened. Next...

3) CHANDLERS - We talk to Rachel and Paul Chandler, who were kidnapped in Somalia and were only released after a ransom was paid : The BBC news page you link to says they were released on 14th November 2010, and I'm pretty sure you covered it back then. So why are you discussing something that happened well over a year ago? First with last year's news again Jeremy? Tsk tsk. And next on today's Jeremy Vine Show we talk about the sinking of the Titanic... . Next...

4) SPITFIRE - 91 year old Eric Carter was told he couldn’t sit in a spitfire because of health and safety, even though he flew the fighter planes during World War 2. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : Now then, you used those magic words "health and safety" which sparked my interest in this one. The H&S words were also used in your trail on Ken's show. I read the Telegraph article with interest, and it all made perfect sense to me but, as you know, I don't believe what you tell me or what I read in the papers. So I called the Potteries Museum in Stoke-on-Trent and I spoke to both the lady you are going to speak to today and a lovely chap from their Press Office. He was very helpful and confirmed (a) their decision was nothing to do with the Health & Safety At Work Act (which is what you are intimating), (b) the Spitfire is currently undergoing an extensive restoration and is in a dismantled state, (c) they are currently trying to raise £50000 to complete the restoration to exhibition standards (see http://spitfirerw388.org.uk/), (d) on completion of the restoration the cockpit will be fully restored and available for inspection, and (e) that Mr Carter has been invited to return to the museum and inspect the Spitfire at close quarters when the restoration is complete. Now, I know a little bit about aircraft restoration and that all makes perfect sense to me. And, unlike you, I know *EXACTLY* why the Telegraph mentioned radium, but because they are only lazy journalist scum, know nothing and couldn't be bothered to find out, they got their mention completely wrong. Old aircraft used radium in the dials of the cockpit instruments to make them luminous, so the pilots could see them at night. Read here http://www.hps.org/publicinformation/ate/q133.html if you don't believe me. I did not ask the question, but I would guess that the cockpit may still contain some of these instruments and until they are dealt with appropriately there is a risk to ANYBODY. PREDICTION: You will talk complete bollocks throughout this discussion as you have no knowledge of or interest in your subject matter, and you will just use this as an opportunity to ridicule the museum's decision concerning Mr Carter on the basis that it is "Health & Safety gone mad", which it most certainly is not. Having forewarned them, I hope that they are ready for you!

The Jeremy Vine Show - a health and safety risk all of its own


UPDATE 1: The Chandlers have got a book out and are plugging it today. Thanks Gill! And Sympathetic Voice Generator number 3 is in overload...

UPDATE 2: Against my better judgement, I listened to the Spitfire piece today. What a load of tosh! In particular:
 - Spitfire described as "refurbished", yet the web site clearly shows it to be under restoration.
 - My point about radium on instruments was correct, and modern luminous watches use a different substance.
 - JV referred to "German jets", yet these did not appear until the last few months of the war and they (ME262s) were not used around Murmansk.
 - JV did not know that a Spitfire has (normally) only a single seat.
 - His eulogies over Spitfires ignored that more Hurricanes were built and had more "kills".
 - Ended by admitting "it was a misunderstanding", so the story was flawed from the start.

If he talks this much rubbish about something I know about, how much does he talk about stuff I don't know about?

Today's show 04/01/12

Five items today? I don't get paid for writing this rubbish, you know....

Today's issue that affects me: Driving from Capel Curig to Llanwrst, and bearing in mind the weather conditions and the presence of a tourist hot-spot, is it best to use the steep and narrow lane over the mountains from the Ugly House or to use the main road via Betws-y-Coed even though this adds five miles to the journey and the traffic in Betws can be bad?

I have to thank @Vine_Watch on Twitter for making me laugh yesterday. Did you really say "I suppose you had to get into the loft and find all the paperwork. I bet that was stressful" when talking about breast implants? Climbing in to the loft can be a real chore. And good to read too that those hardcore staples of the JV Show appeared on the first show of 2012: a retired policeman and a wheelie bin.

No surprises as to what your lead items are today...

1) STEPHEN LAWRENCE SENTENCING - The 2 men found guilty of murdering Stephen Lawrence are being sentenced today. How many years should they get?
2) STEPHEN LAWRENCE MURDER - It is believed that 5 men in total are responsible for the racist murder of Stephen Lawrence. They all came from the same part of south east London. What made them what they are?
We can all imagine the scene in the judge's chambers as he deliberates...

"The law says I can give a sentence of up to x years, but what to do...? Oh, I know, I'll listen to the Jeremy Vine Show on Radio 2 - he is good at telling me what to think so he and his listeners will have the answer".

Maybe not, but I hope you get my point. My guess is that you will be hosting a "discussion" (not that these items are ever a discussion as per the dictionary definition) where various somebodys will argue the case from "they are misunderstood and should be set free" to "they are heartless criminals and the death penalty is not enough". I can just imagine it ... and so I will not be listening. They used a combination of police incompetence, police corruption and CPS idiocy to escape the law, so will you be discussing that the police are still corrupt and racist and the CPS is still incompetent? No mention of it on Ken's show, so I'll guess that you are not.

And never having lived in South East London, I have no idea what made them what they are. Ask me one on pop music.

As is usual, my interest lies with the coverage of this sad event. The BBC seem to be elevating Stephen Lawrence's murder in to the crime of both the 20th and 21st centurys, and even their printed paper arm The Guardian seems to be giving some praise to the tabloid press (http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jan/03/defence-of-tabloid-newspapers). All a bit different from their erroneous attacks on NOTW, don't you think? Meanwhile, the Daily Mail are wallowing - maybe rightly - in their support for these prosecutions. Next...

3) SURVIVING THE STORM - How did you survive the storm? We hear of close shaves and lucky escapes : Talking about the weather - again? No storm here Jeremy, just a bit windy and nowhere near as windy as I have seen here in the past. I loved your chat with Ken about this earlier, when you mentioned that the turbines were stopped during high winds and expressed your concern about the stresses being placed on the "centrifuge" - your word, not mine, should be "hub" - when the blades were stopped. Ever heard the word "feathering" used in conjunction with propellers or any other bladed device that rotates in air? No, I thought not. I know that your internet home page is something to do with the Daily Mail, but there is some other useful stuff available. Try this one some time: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blade_pitch. It gives me great pleasure to tag this one as "Poor Research". Next...

4) 'THE IRON LADY' - The film ‘The Iron Lady’ premieres today. Were you someone who could say “I didn’t like Margaret Thatcher’s politics, but she did inspire me”? : No, I could not. Next...

5) RONALD SEARLE - Finally, we look at how the brilliant cartoons of Ronald Searle were forged in a Japanese prison camp : Very sad, and I have no doubt that you will overcome the technical challenge that Cartoons On The Radio presents.

I'll finish by bringing this government e-petition to your attention (http://epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/26528):

We the undersigned in the spirit of togetherness petition that the government legislate in the interests of preventing social disorder and injustice, health and safety in the workplace and fairness to all in these times of national austerity the banning of the sale and/or the consumption of all alcoholic beverages within the present day boundaries of the Palace of Westminster.

This has got to be a good thing, surely.

The Jeremy Vine Show - still talking about the weather, and still getting it wrong

Today's show 14/12/11

Hmmm... no web page update for the second day running. What are they playing at? Perhaps it is deliberate.

I heard him to talk to Ken and it was Domestic Violence, Diabetes, something about weak lofts (!) and something else...

Classic exchange when talking to Ken:

Ken: "I have type 2 diabetes ... and there are hereditary reasons for type 2 diabetes"

JV: "Are there?"

As well researched as ever.

Back later!

Today's issue that affects me: Where can I buy a Tunis Cake?

Well done! We only had to wait until 12:45 today for your web page to be updated. I had to wait until 9am this morning to find out about yesterday's! I've lodged a complaint, and now I know the correct procedure this one is going to go all the way.

 

Let's see what I have missed, and what I am about to ignore...

 

1) DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - Domestic violence is not just physical violence. Were you married to someone who psychologically controlled you? : Was I? No. Am I? No. Have I already missed this? Yes. Next...

 

2) DIABETES - A new report says that thousands of people are dying unnecessarily due to diabetes. Are you furious that diabetes doesn’t get the attention that other illnesses get? : I can't remember the last time I was furious about anything. 1990 maybe? Anyway, the only thing that I am concerned about with relevance to diabetes is your chat with Ken earlier, which went something like this:
Ken: "I have type 2 diabetes ... there are hereditary reasons for type 2 diabetes"
You: "Are there?"

Research? Who needs it? Well, not somebody about to broadcast a news-based radio show on this very topic, apparently. Next...

3) JOHNSON BEHARRY - Johnson Beharry won the Victoria Cross for gallantry and valour. He’s now advertising vitamin tablets. Is there anything wrong with that? : Thank you for bringing this to my attention and for allowing me the opportunity to be furious and offended. However, I would have needed to buy a newspaper to have got the full effect. I didn't do that and I am not willing to change a habit of 30 years standing. I am sure the company that he is working for will be very grateful for your promotion of their products. Next...

4) COLLAPSING LOFTS - We discuss the danger of overloading your loft. A man from Essex was trapped for 11 hours when 7000 yachting magazines buried him alive : You could fill many, many hours of prime Radio 2 air time with hundreds of stories that basically go along the lines of: Stupid dickhead nearly kills himself, but fails. Meanwhile, another 10 or so people WILL be killed on Britain's roads today, and still they don't qualify for discussion on your programme as you can't take the piss out of them. You are a disgrace to "journalism" and Radio 2, but that is how you like it to be, apparently.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - re-defining "news", every day