Today's show 28/02/12

Another quick on today, due to pressure of more important things to do, but we haven't had one of these for a while...

Today's issue that affects me: Our toaster has just broken. Grrrr....

There is an interesting conversation taking place on your Twitter feed this morning concerning a chap who said "I am not intelligent enough to be constantly stimulated by Radio 4. I am a bit too young for Radio 2 after Chris Evans finishes at 9.30am" and was looking for a radio station to listen to. Your response to him was "No @JxxxBxxxxx, actually I think you are the perfect profile for my show. Don't be lured by @NickyAACampbell", which is an interesting response as from what I have heard of Queen Nicky on R5 his programme is worse than yours! However, the tweet that really caught my eye was this one from (presumably) one of your listeners: "@JxxxBxxxxx no no no. I am not clever and love @theJeremyVine.". I need say no more.

So what has my favourite public service broadcaster's most popular radio channel got to offer me this lunchtime? We must remember, though, that like many other public services the BBC wastes money, runs the service to suit itself, and expects users of the service to be grateful for what it does...

1) CORRUPTION - A leading copper at the Met says there was a culture of corruption between police officers and Sun journalists in pursuit of salacious gossipy stories that had no public interest. 3.26 million people bought the Sun on Sunday and don’t seem to mind : 3.26 million? In that case I proudly count myself among the 58,958,761 UK residents who did not buy a copy of the Sun on Sunday last weekend. But you are correct, of course, in that the SoS readership don't mind because this whole performance is only of interest to the few of us who have an interest in the "news" and how it is distributed. This obviously includes anybody in the news media too, and the opportunity for the BBC to have yet another pop at Murdoch is again proving too much to resist, while the equally suspicious Mirror Group escape the BBC's wrath yet again. Double standards? Yes, of course it is, and exactly what I and many others now expect the BBC to provide. The BBC news page you link to says "Payments by journalists to public officials were identified in the "police, military, health and government", she said.". Odd, don't you think, that journalists are being pilloried for giving money to public officials, yet those same public officials are not - to the best of my knowledge - being identified or punished in any way. Will you be covering that aspect of these developments? I thought not. Next...

2) OCCUPY PROTESTER - The Occupy Protesters have been evicted from outside St Paul’s Cathedral in London. Is this a good news story, or a bad news story? : You are missing the middle option. They should be Good News, Not News and Bad News. I'll go with the middle one. The Occupy movement started off with apparently good intentions but quickly seemed to lose its direction. Their message that they were against "corporate greed" got through, but I struggled to find out what alternatives they were suggesting and how those might be achieved. Even their own web site was not clear on the matter and a number of their demands were not even demands at all! In my mind, all that the Occupy movement achieved was to prove that so-called leaderless campaigns do have leaders with their own agendas, and they win through in the end. Occupy should have targetted the bankers and the bond traders. They should have targetted the politicians who expect us to work harder and longer to pay for their broken promises. They should have targetted those whose hands we are not allowed to remove from our own pockets and who use the law to steal our money and place future generations in debt. But they didn't, and an opportunity was missed. The eviction is of no importance to me at all, and I am not likely to ask or be asked "What were you doing when the Occupy protestors were evicted?". I hope your BBC-supplied black armband fits comfortably. Next...

3) SLEEPING PILLS - Research from America suggests that people taking sleeping pills are 4 times more likely to die prematurely and they may be as dangerous as cigarettes. Are you hooked on sleeping pills? : No. Next...

4) ROOF RACKS - Finally, did you see the story of a tiny Nissan Micra with 2 sofas on the roof? What’s the most you’ve put or seen on a car roof rack? Find out more in the Western Morning News : I didn't see the story, and I don't own a roof rack.

The Jeremy Vine Show - we don't need or want clever listeners

Today's show 20/07/11

(Late today due to JV web page not being updated until 12:20)

I guess that there is a price to pay for your new-found enthusiasm for Twitter, in that today's topics were posted there at about 09:30 this morning, yet here we are at 11:40 and your web page has not been updated with the same information. As updating both seems to be a bit too much for you, here is a serious offer of help: Send me the details of what you are planning to discuss and I will write your web page text for you. I promise to be objective, realistic and write without any sensationalism or hyperbole. Give me access to your web page and I'll even upload and publish it for you. I would make no charge for this service. You know where I am. What could possibly go wrong?

Anyway, at 09:35 the topics according to Twitter were: "Today's programme in four words: Murdoch. Libya. Euro. Famine.", but your web page readers are being kept in suspense. I'll come back in a bit...

<Goes away for 15 minutes>

11:55 and still no update. Is this what we pay our TV Licence Tax for?

<Goes away for 10 minutes>

12:05, still nothing.

<Goes away again>

Finally, at 12:20, we have four good reasons not to listen today....

1) SYMPATHY FOR MURDOCH? - Were you convinced by Rupert Murdoch's performance? He is, after all eighty. Did you feel sorry for him, or was it just one big act? We speak to Age UK : Age UK are one of the UK's leading charities and do all sorts of fantastic work, yet on Ken's show you said "Help The Aged, or whatever they are called these days". Do you consider it acceptable that a leading broadcast journalist cannot remember the name of a major UK charity? Do you still go in to your local sweet shop and ask for a Marathon bar? As for Murdoch, well it is plainly obvious that the BBC will not be happy until both Murdochs have stakes thrust through their hearts, are shot with a dozen silver bullets and then crucified before being hung, drawn and quartered. And I bet your heart sank when Mr Marbles attempted to thrust the flan in his face, as in an instant Murdoch Senior changed from being a Billionaire Media Tycoon in to a fragile old man who was the victim of an unprovoked assault. He will have gained a lot of sympathy for that. Next...

2) MEDIA COVERAGE: MURDOCH OR FAMINE? - As the famine in Somalia becomes official, are you angry that the foam in Murdoch's face is getting more coverage than thousands of people starving to death? : A good question, with a simple answer: Because stories about famines do not sell newspapers or boost listener and viewer figures, and the demise of Murdoch is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING that has ever happened in the history of the world, apparently. Once again, you are distancing yourself from your beloved Media, even though you are part of it. How can you do that? Hypocrisy is alive and well on the JV Show! So, what are you going to do about the famine then? Can we look forward to seeing the launch of The Jeremy Vine Appeal for Famine Relief? I'll send you £20 if you do. Next...

3) EUROPEAN ECONOMICS - As the Euro teeters on the brink, we take you on a journey round Europe's capitals. If the Euro economies collapse, does Britain fall with it? Find out more in this Economist article : You described this on Ken's show as "The Euro, again another story that is not being reported because of a custard pie". Excuse me, but it was YOUR PROGRAMME that has also jumped on the Murdoch Media Band Wagon and chose not to report this story until now. Please just get off your "holier than thou" high horse. In answer to your question, I have no idea, no time to find out and insufficient influence to do anything about it. Do you? Next... (The link given on the JV web page was a duplicate of the BBC famine story and did not link to The Economist)

4) TRIBUTE FM - We speak to the man that runs the rebel radio station in Libya. How do you broadcast when you're under attack? Find out more in this Guardian article : Again, you described this on Ken's show as "... the equivalent of my show in Libya ...". Those poor people. Not only do they have to endure bombs, bullets, civil unrest and an over-bearing dictator but they also have to endure somebody on their radio talking about wheelie bins, poor parking, handbags, polytunnels and nicking stories from the Libyan equivalent of the Daily Mail. No wonder Libya is in such a mess.

I've just noticed that I am no longer following @theJeremyVine and seem to be prevented from doing so. I wonder if this is a technical fault (although I seem to be able to follow anybody else that I wish to) or whether it is just a case of you not liking what I say. I hope it is not the latter as that would surely be suppression of my free speech as a member of the public (i.e. me) to a public figure (i.e. you) who is forever encouraging me to "tell me what you think" and who then tries to tell me what I should be thinking. Criticism is a stock-in-trade of your show, and it is such a shame that you want to be immune from it. My blog soared through 5000 page views yesterday, so my criticism will continue. See you on Twitter, even if the conversation is now one-sided.

And finally, today's programme in four words:

Murdoch. Bias. Continues. Unabated.

Nothing. Of. Interest. Today.

I. Won't. Be. Listening.

Get. Off. My. Radio.

6. Music. Much. Better.

Today's show 15/07/11

Not on strike today then? No solidarity with The Bruvvers? Will I notice any difference? The uutterly appalling Nicky Campbell did his 5 Live listeners a favour this morning but not showing up for work, so why are you there? (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-14152795)

One advantage of signing-up to Twitter yesterday (as JVineBlogMan, although I am still trying to get the hang of it) was that I was able to spectate on the second "Ask Ed Miliband" session yesterday evening. Honestly, whoever persuaded him that this was a good idea is either a fool or somebody who doesn't like him very much. There were a lot of pointless questions asked, and for the benefit of my blog readers here are some of my favourites... ooops, I mean... here are some of the most irrelevant:

 - On a scale of 1 to 10 where 1 is not at all and 10 is absolutely disastrous, how helpful was Gordon Brown's intervention yesterday?
 - Can you confirm you're a 14 quadrillionth size Ed Zettaband?
 - When you were little, did you nick your big brother's toys, realise you didn't know how they worked, then break them?
 - Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near ?
 - Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person that drives a race car is not called a racist?
 - Would you rather fight off one horse-sized duck, or twenty duck-sized horses?
 - If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
 - When your political career is finished is there any chance you and your brother could be in the 118 adverts?
 - Did you run as a paper candidate in the leadership contest and now feel a bit scared and don't know what you're doing?
 - Will you be giving a single answer, over and over again to each question?
 - After last time you did this, what on earth made you think it was a good idea to do it again?
 - Has the government acted in a reckless and provocative manner? Should both sides put away the rhetoric and get around the table?
 - Have you been involved in an accident that wasn't your fault? If so, you could claim compensation.
 - Why did you leave the Muppet Show?
 - Are you paying too much for your car insurance?
 - I bought powdered water. What do I add?
 - Is there a sweet you can eat between meals without ruining your appetite?
 - If one synchronised swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown, too?
 - Do both sides need to set aside the rhetoric and get around the negotiating table to stop this happening again?
 - If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it is it Nick Clegg's fault?
 - Which is more likely to be true - time travel as in the Terminator (linear), or Back to the Future (alternative branches)?
 - Will you go to the Commons and apologise to Vince Cable for saying he should be sacked for his 'war on Murdoch'?
 - Is it true you would do anything for love but you won't do that?
 - Are these strikes wrong? Have the public been let down by both sides? Should we put aside the rhetoric??
 - I've just taken all the tiles off my bathroom and need to retile. Should I get the wall plastered or put up plasterboard?
 - If somebody with multiple personalities threatens suicide, does that become a hostage situation?
 - Daddy or chips?

Shocking behaviour by some questioners, I am sure you will agree. And it looks like that naughty blogger Guido Fawkes (http://order-order.com/) may have had something to do with it. There were some serious questions asked, but they mainly concerned Ed's presence at a party hosted by Murdoch recently, and they all went unanswered too. Poor Ed.

So, how about discussing the influence of Twitter on modern-day politics? Is it relevant, or just an irrelevance?

And how about discussing how promptly news-based (allegedly) radio programmes should update their web pages? 11:35, you've been on Ken's show and I'm waiting...

11:55 ... still waiting for the web site, so will make do with your Twitter stuff...

1) REBEKAH BROOKS RESIGNS : Blimey, who'd have thought, eh? Never saw this coming, did you? And hopefully yet another nail in the coffin of the Dead Tree Press (http://www.spectator.co.uk/coffeehouse/7098398/a-blow-to-an-already-struggling-industry.thtml). I suspect that - yet again - you will concentrate on Murdoch and News International, and conveniently forget the allegations against the Daily Mirror, Gordon Brown's extraordinary speech in the House of Commons, and the Guardian's apology to The Sun for getting it wrong (http://www.guardian.co.uk/theguardian/series/correctionsandclarifications). And, once again, the clarification is not given anything like the prominence of the original article. You describe this as "a shame", yet for me and many others it comes as no surprise at all. Journalists, pah! Thick as thieves, but lacking their integrity. Next...

2) MILITARY MEDALS - A soldier dies in Iraq. His widow receives a medal. His mother says, why not me, too? Find out more in this Birmingham Mail article : A fair question. I look forward to hearing about the change that your programme makes to this situation today. I won't hold my breath though. Next...

3) CYCLING SAFELY - You want to start cycling. Good for the planet and good for your cardiovasculars. Just one issue: how do you cycle without dying? : I took my Cycling Proficiency Test at school in 1972. I sold my bike in 1975 and put the money towards my first car. I can remember riding a bike once since then (on holiday in Majorca in 1987), and I've not ridden once since. And there are too many hills around here. Next...

4) LOTTERY WINNERS - The couple who won the Euromillions — more than £160m — are revealed to be in Falkirk. Will it destroy their life? : Probably not, but I'm sure that you will give it your best shot.

The Jeremy Vine Show - ignoring elephants a speciality

Today's show 14/07/11

Mmmmm.... bacon and mushroom sandwich....

You know, writing my blog is a real treat, and it continues to amaze me that so many people take time out from their busy days to read my rants and ramblings. As we head towards 4800 page views I again thank them for their continued support.

I also have to thank you Jeremy, for providing me with my daily ammunition. This week has been exceptional in that your web site lacky has managed to get your page updated before 11am, which means that I can start my diatribe earlier and have more time to think about what I am going to say to you. It allows me to have a quick read about the stories you are covering, rather than just believing what you want me to believe, and to sort the wheat from the chaff. So let's look at the chaff on offer today, and I bet you talk about Murdoch - again...

1) INDUSTRIAL PLANT EXPLOSION - An explosion at an industrial plant in Boston, Lincolnshire kills five people. One theory is they were illegally distilling vodka : Theory? And from the BBC news web page: "Claims the men may have been distilling illegal alcohol are being investigated", and "Nerys McGarry, from Lincolnshire Police, said it was not yet clear what had caused the blast", and "Mr Moore said it was still unclear what had caused the fire, but the intense heat and rapid spread suggested some form of accelerant", and "At this stage we cannot say what caused such intense heat or fire spread". So... just one thing missing then: Facts. And what do we do when we don't have the facts? C'mon Jeremy, you know the answer to this one.... Yes, that's right, well done: We make them up. And then we go on and on and on and on about what we have made up until somebody somewhere starts to believe what we are saying. I believe that this is what is taught in the first term at Journalist School. I am led to believe that the second term covers filling in an expenses claim, and the third covers all of the naughty things that only other journalists do. Needless to say, and with the strong possibility of a visit from your old friends Conjecture, Sensationalism and Speculation, it comes as absolutely no surprise to me that you are covering this story today. After all, what would be the point in waiting 24 hours when events might just be a little clearer and you may be able to tell us what REALLY happened? Oh yes, of course, it doesn't make good radio. Next...

2) RUPERT MURDOCH - Murdoch has withdrawn the bid for BSkyB. One commentator says it's not just bad for him, but this will spell the end of his empire : In your dreams maybe. A Murdoch story: I knew I wouldn't be disappointed. So which commentator is this then? The only one mentioned on the BBC news page you link to is Robert Peston, and his personal links with News International seem to be questioned by some, and as I mentioned yesterday (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2013684/Is-BBCs-Robert-Peston-close-Rupert-Murdochs-man-Will-Lewis.html). Meanwhile, the phone hacking scandal appears to be spreading to other news organisations, with Piers Morgan in the firing line in relation to his time at the Daily Mirror. We can only hope that that particular title disappears too. Are you going to mention Gordon Brown's appearance in the House of Commons yesterday? It was good to see him back and in his usual fine form, ignoring questions, avoiding answers and talking about his favourite subject: Himself. And I loved the way that some Tory-led Coalition MPs (to use common BBC parlance) called out "Bye bye, see you next year, have a great Christmas" as he left the chamber. Poor Gordon. Next...

3) FEAR OF DEATH - Do your perfectly healthy children lie awake at night, afraid of dying? We look at children who are obsessed with death : What children are those then? And like Ken, I cannot remember this happening to me. What's the betting that you run out of things to talk about and open this up to all sorts of irrational fears? This would allow you to poke fun at most of your listeners in one way or another. Spiders, heights, air travel, enclosed spaces, open spaces, dentists and needles must surely be fair game. Mine is cotton wool. I can't stand the stuff. I am sure it will be absolutely fascinating. Zzzzzzz... Next...

It is 11:35 and it this point I'll retract my thanks and congratulations for getting your web page updated promptly as the fourth item (something to do with parking in Edinburgh) is yet to appear....

<Goes away for 10 minutes...>

4) HOSPITAL CAR PARK - Doctors and nurses in Edinburgh who can't get into a hospital car park are having their cars vandalised by residents, who resent them parking there. Find out more in this Scotsman article : That wording is dreadful, but I think I know what you mean. However, this story could not be more irrelevant to me so I don't need to listen. Next...

How about doing some stories from the Daily Mail? You know, just for a change? I miss them...

And in your honour I have created a Twitter account ... I wonder what mischief I can get up to there.

UPDATE: And Galloway makes an appearance in the Murdoch item.

Today's show 12/07/11

Can we guess what the lead story will be today? Will it be more accusations against News International, I wonder, or will it be the BBC's backtracking about a commitment they made? Let's see...

1) GORDON BROWN - In new revelations, Gordon Brown claims there was a conspiracy between News International and the criminal underworld to discredit him, in order to obtain the medical records of his young boy Fraser and his personal bank details. Jeremy talks to Wilf Stevenson; Labour Peer in the House of Lords, Alistair Campbell; Former Labour press secretary, Sally-Anne Poole; Investigations manager at the Information Commissioner's Office and Mike Richards; Former private investigator : Gordon who? Oh yes, I remember him...

The important word in your description is, of course, "claims". The important word on the BBC news web page is "alleged". Until such words as "accuses" and "prosecution" appear then, in my mind, there is no story here and you will waste your listeners time with yet another journey to the Land of Speculation and Conjecture.

Interesting that you have got Campbell as a contributor on this item: What a short memory you and your BBC colleagues have! This was the man who back in 2003 famously berated the BBC in an appearance before a House of Commons committee, and later during a Channel Four interview, yet here he is now behaving as the new darling of the BBC. I'm not sure who is being more hypocritical here, you or Campbell. Anyway, the last time I listened to anything he said (something to do with WMD, if I remember correctly) it turned out to be a lie, so I could not possibly trust him to tell me anything that is either truthful or interesting.

 

So why haven't you got Gordon on your programme? Oh yes, he doesn't like you, does he? Perhaps he should raise the subject in parliament, but that would mean actually turning up and doing his job though so it is not going to happen.

 

For your information, the BBC's backtracking is described in the Daily Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/8629443/Anger-as-BBC-backtracks-on-promise-over-stars-salaries.html):

Anger as BBC backtracks on promise over stars' salaries

The BBC has infuriated ministers by reneging on a promise to publish detailed information about the salaries of its top stars.

A good day to bury bad news, don't you think?

 

Ken just asked a good question: "Will the public lose interest?". As one who does not pay one single penny specifically to obtain "news" I can assure you that this particular member of the public lost interest in the sordid activities of all news organisations a long, long time ago. Next...

2) BELFAST RIOTS - As loyalists celebrate the Battle of the Boyne at the height of the marching season, last night trouble erupted between young loyalists and nationalist gangs : It happens. Every year. What are you going to do about it? Next...

3) TODDLER DEATH - A twenty-two month old toddler has drowned in a leisure club pool in Salford : Tragic. Next...

4) SPOON-BILLED SANDPIPER - And finally, a wildfowl charity travels to the north-east corner of Russia, in order to save a rare species of sandpiper. How much effort is it worth to protect a bird that is virtually extinct? : What a stupid question! How much effort? As much as they want to, that's how much! Their money, their people, their freedom of choice. Fortunately for me it is not much effort at all to switch to 6 Music at 12.

Today's show 11/07/11

And finally, at 12:15, your web page is updated to show the topics up for discussion today, and only after a prompting email from me.

Did you know that you got a special mention on Graham Norton's Saturday morning show. Please allow blog reader Stonyground to take up the story....

I caught a bit of the Graham Norton show today on the car radio. A guy comes on to do a run down on the various sporting activities that are occuring over the weekend. Along with the motor racing, womens' football and ODI cricket we have to have the trivial item which this week is pea shooter championships. On being informed that dried peas are no longer used but some other kind of seed that is more aerodynamic, GN opines "Ooh you could have someone's eye out and then Jeremy Vine will be doing a phone in about it on Monday.".

It would appear that JV's co-workers at Radio 2 are very much aware of the intellectual level of his usual subject matter.

Discussion topic suggestion: Have you ever been injured in a pea shooter accident and what effect did this have on your relationship with your pea shooting colleagues?
Perhaps that explains why "... and Jeremy is at 12 ..." is all we hear in what's-coming-up trailers.

So let's see what I will be missing today:

1) RUPERT MURDOCH - We debate whether Rupert Murdoch's bid to own the whole of BSkyB is dead in the water : You are obsessed. That is the only word for it. Here is a private company going about its lawful business yet its activities have to be micro-analysed by the BBC. If I don't like what they are doing I can choose to not spend any money with them. If only that option were available for the BBC! Jeremy, this story is only of importance to you and those in your industry. Personally I could not care less. However, my friends over at the TV Licensing blog (http://tv-licensing.blogspot.com/2011/04/bbc-confirm-detector-vans-never-used-in.html) have finally obtained an admission from the BBC that evidence from TV detector vans has never been used to prosecute somebody for failing to buy a licence. Now that sounds like deception to me, and surely a topic worthy of debate on your programme. Pigs preparing for take-off....! Next...

2) RAOUL MOAT - Raoul Moat's family and friends paid tribute on the anniversary of his death. Find out more in this Mirror article : So what? That this is a story from the Mirror says it all. Next...

3) SOUTHERN CROSS - Does the collapse of Southern Cross suggest the state is better at running things than the private sector, or the 'Big Society'? : I have no idea, or interest, thank you, but the interesting sentence on the linked BBC news page is this one: "About 250 of the homes will immediately begin to be transferred to other operators.", suggesting that the private sector does still have a part to play. Nice use of "Big Society" there, revealing that the temptation for a bit of government bashing was just to good to resist. Next...

4) PARKINSON'S DISEASE - And finally, we talk to a man with Parkinson's disease, who refuses to be defined by his disability : Good for him, and good to see that there are still people around who do not need to be told what to think, despite your best efforts.

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - struggling to fill two hours on a Monday

Today's show 07/07/11

And as the BBC descends in to hysteria and apoplexy, let's take a look at today's dose of News Entertainment...

1) PHONE HACKING SCANDAL - Are the News of the World phone hacking allegations the equivalent for journalists to the MPs expenses scandal? Which should the public feel more let down by? : Again, I need more than one paragraph today...

Some years ago, there used to be a TV advert for McCain oven chips where a little girl was asked by here sister which she preferred: Daddy or Chips? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aHA4-5N5AzA) You seem to be asking much the same question today, but the answer is easier: MPs are elected and accountable to their constituents. The only accountability that journalist scum are interested in concerns how much they can fiddle out of their own expenses.

Perhaps you are starting to realise why I and many others do not trust ANYTHING that The Media attempts to tell us these days. Jeremy, irrespective of phone hacking THIS IS A REAL PROBLEM for you and your ilk. What can be done to restore (or create in my case) the public's faith in what you say? And it is no surprise to see that BBC heavyweights Nick Robinson and Robert Peston cannot agree on the reporting of this story (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/8621020/Nick-Robinson-highlights-Robert-Pestons-Vanity.html). If nothing else, this shows that they consider the reporting (and who did it first) more important than the story itself. Scum.

The BBC is not immune to dubious and illegal activities, with the phone vote rigging scandal being perhaps the most memorable of recent times. Pot, kettle and black?

As you are a journalist I cannot trust you to tell me anything, so I won't be listening. Tell me, what is it like being a journalist at the moment? Can you feel the hate? Next...

2) BARBECUE ACCIDENTS - Have you suffered a barbecue accident? : Yes, I once burnt some beefburgers, but we ate them anyway. Does that count? You just said on Ken's show, "Whether she went to sleep or not I don't know". That sounds like poor research to me. Perhaps you should do some investigation and find out. Or, you could just make it up. Next...

3) OVERNIGHT CARE - A disabled former ballerina is denied an overnight carer to help her use a commode. It's said it would cost £22,000 a year. Is that a price worth paying for her dignity - or too much to spend on one person in straightened times? : I have no idea, or interest. Next...

4) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS - A new study suggests a third of British women have taken anti-depressants. Are they prescribed too readily? In some cases, would it have been better to put away the Prozac and just feel sad? Find out more in this Daily Mail article : I am not a woman and I have never taken Prozac. We can only be grateful that that bastion of true virtue, exceptional reporting and fantastic journalism The Daily Mail is managing to keep a firm grip on reality while the other members of the Dead Tree Press Preservation Society disappear up their own backsides in an attempt to rubbish one of their own. Where would your programme be without it?


UPDATE:

Lembit Opik? I know what he was, but can you just remind what he is now and why what he says should be of any concern to me?

He appeared as a TV game show contestant on Pointless Celebrities last night. Never has a TV progamme had a more accurate title.

Today's show 06/07/11

Listening to the BBC radio news yesterday proved to me yet again that journalists fail to do the easiest and simplest of research. The job losses at Bombardier in Derby were a lead item all day, yet the differences in pronunciation of the company name differed wildly. It is pronounced Bom-BAR-dier, and not BOM-bar-DIER (as in a military rank). But then, when did journalists ever do their job properly?

Can we guess what the top story will be on your programme today? I bet it won't be this one: http://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/2011/07/05/leaked-email-reveals-bbc-wales-journalists-being-paid-to-tidy-desks-91466-28993615/

Leaked email reveals BBC Wales journalists being paid to tidy desks

Dozens of BBC Wales journalists have been told to tidy their desks, archive old tapes and fill in expenses forms over the summer – instead of working on programmes.

But hang on, why would you want to talk about that? The story does, after all, talk about the continued failings of your beloved BBC, and that particular aspect of the BBC is not to be discussed, is it? Things are different when an upcoming BBC programme is to be promoted, of course.

So let's see what we have on today's edition of Junk Mail On The Radio...

1) NEWS OF THE WORLD - The News of the World is at the centre of a firestorm as the phone hacking scandal escalates. Former deputy Prime Minister John Prescott tells us that readers should boycott the paper. Is he right? : I think I need more than one paragraph for this...

Prescott is hardly the upholder of virtue that he claims to be, surely? His affair with a secretary was so well reported by the BBC that a special web page was created (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5151706.stm) entitled Timeline: Prescott's problems which detailed not only his affair but all of the other dubious shenanigans that he was involved in around that time. Perhaps you would care to remind him of this episode, just to check what his view of the BBC's coverage of his own life might be.

Guessing that you would talk about this today, I decided to do a little research. Looking away from the obvious story, I was more curious as to why the BBC was hysterical about it and wondered if there was the usual hidden agenda dragged up from the depths whenever a chance to knock the Murdoch news empire arose. I was not disappointed: http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/davidhughes/100095338/what-is-the-bbc-really-trying-to-do-with-its-milly-dowler-coverage/. Allow me to quote at length:
"... there is a commercial interest at stake – and the one element of the story the BBC seems coy about is that it is itself a player in a particularly frenzied media battle. The Corporation is bitterly opposed to News Corporation’s bid to to buy the 61% of BSkyB it doesn’t already own (as is much of Fleet Street). Indeed, it is so opposed that the BBC’s director general Mark Thompson took the extraordinary step last autumn of putting his name to a letter of protest objecting to the deal – for which he was forced to apologise by the BBC Trust. The BBC’s treatment of the hacking story suggests the Corporation still sees the value of blackening the reputation of Rupert Murdoch’s media empire as thoroughly as possible whenever the opportunity arises. As the Beeb’s own Robert Peston notes, it leaves hanging in the air the idea that News Coporation may not be a fit and proper company to acquire complete control of a major broadcaster."

I could not have put it better myself. Reporting of Mark Thompson's apology can be found here: http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2010/nov/07/mark-thompson-apology-bskyb-letter

So what is your agenda today? Are you looking at phone hacking, or are you just attacking Murdoch? I can probably guess the answer to that question.

Let me ask you these questions Jeremy:

 - Has there been a senior management meeting to discuss the coverage of phone hacking and was a decision made to use it as a vehicle to undermine the BSkyB takeover?

 - Has the BBC ever used information gained illegally in its news reporting?

 - Has the BBC employed anybody who has attempted to hack the phones of victims, suspects or their relatives?

And what is the difference between Murdoch and the BBC? Well, not much from where I am sitting ... except for one thing. I can choose to boycott the Murdoch empire by not purchasing their products. The only way to boycott the BBC would be to not buy a TV licence. Now that sounds like a good idea!

I believe that the journalist (i.e. scum) involved in the phone hacking was somebody called Glenn Mulcaire. Despite his ability to completely upset the lives of others, it appears that he doesn't like a taste of his own medicine (http://order-order.com/2011/07/05/phone-hacker-glenn-mulcaire-asks-press-to-respect-his-privacy/). This is typical of the hypocrisy rife in this sordid industry.

I will, of course, be boycotting the News of the World. I but then I also boycott all of the other national newspapers, as do 80% of the UK population. The Press Gazette web site (http://www.pressgazette.co.uk/story.asp?sectioncode=1&storycode=47273&c=1) continues to document the slow and agonising death of the Dead Tree Press and tells me that just under 10 million national newspapers are sold every day, so 50 million people choose not to buy them. I continue to be puzzled why you make them out to be so important.

Interesting too that you have nobody from News International on your show to put their side of the story. There is nothing like balanced reporting, and this is nothing like balanced reporting.

Journalism and your precious "Media" are in a sorry state, but that is nothing new. The only new thing is that more people know about it and will, hopefully, question what they read and hear in the name of "news" more often.

JOURNALISTS ARE LIEING, DEVIOUS, LAZY, CHEATING SCUM - WITHOUT EXCEPTION.

2) SREBRENICA - A court rules that Holland was responsible for the deaths of three Bosnian Muslims during the Srebrenica massacre because its forces failed to protect a UN safe area. We discuss Dutch shame over Srebrenica : "Are you ashamed to be Dutch?", you just asked. Errrr... no. Are you ashamed to be involved in journalism? You should be! It is items like this that make me wonder if Radio Rotterdam has an equivalent programme to yours, where they discuss the current state of the UK NHS. Somehow I don't think they do. Next...

3) AFRICAN DROUGHT - Has too little been done to help animals caught up in the African drought? : I can only hope that today you are going to launch the Jeremy Vine Campaign for African Animal Welfare. No? Oh. So, what are you going to do then? You're going to talk about it. Hmmm... that won't make much of a difference, will it? You treat news stories like buses ... there will be another one along in a minute. Next...

4) SEXSOMNIA - And a man is cleared of rape after arguing that he suffers from a condition which means he has sex in his sleep. Find out more in this Telegraph article : The saddest thing about this is that you have chosen to give this man some publicity. Well done.

The Jeremy Vine Show - telling it like it is some of the time.

Today's show 03/03/11

Live from Manchester? Why is that then? Will your listeners notice the difference? Do I believe that you are there? Probably not. Do I care? No.

1) Benefits - I'm on benefits and I can't afford to pay my bills. How come we've got a welfare state and there's still poverty? : Errr.... who is this mysterious I? Not me, or you! Next...

2) BSkyB - Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation has been given government approval for its controversial takeover of BSkyB. Should we be worried about one company having so much control over the British media? : If I was a gambling man I would happily have bet £100 that you would talk about this today. It is yet another opportunity to rubbish another broadcasting organisation. It is well known that you BBC guys are avid haters of the Murdoch empire, so you are not going to miss an opportunity to have another go, are you? Can I remind you of some facts:

 - The BBC has more control, unfortunately, over the British media than any other organisation.

 - Sky is paid for by subscription, and consumers HAVE A CHOICE whether they subscribe or not.

 - The BBC is funded by the TV licence, which we as consumers have little or no choice about whether we purchase.

So which one of these two organisations is the overbearing mind-controlling broadcaster? If you really want to look at problems with the British media you need look no further than the building from which you broadcast. I feel another complaint coming on. Next...

3) Gillian Duffy - Gordon Brown called Gillian Duffy a bigot. We confronted him on this programme. We meet Mrs Duffy in her home and talk to her on the same sofa on which the then Prime Minister apologised to her : And the point of this item is what, exactly? She looks terrified in that photo, as though she has met her Stalker-In-Chief. This is OLD NEWS and even the web page you link to is dated 10th April 2010 - 10 months ago. It appears to be an attempt to resurrect your past glories from the dead. Get over it man! It happened, you got the praise, it's done. Instead of looking at something you did well why don't you try looking at something you did badly? I can give you some examples! Next...

4) Lady Detective Agency - We talk to a woman whose husband cheated on her, who set up a detective agency to catch other adulterers : I have set up my own business too. Would you like to promote it for me?

Right, can't stay any longer as I have to go and vote in a referendum, but you wouldn't know anything about that, would you? Why do you consider your listeners in Manchester to be more important than those in Wales?




Complaint lodged on BBC web site:

Mr Vine is discussing the following today (copied from his web site): "BSkyB - Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation has been given government approval for its controversial takeover of BSkyB. Should we be worried about one company having so much control over the British media?"

I take issue with the use of the word "controversial" in this description as it implies that Mr Vine has pre-conceived views on this topic and will almost certainly lead to a biased discussion. The last time this happened was as recently as 26th January where Mr Vine attempted to link Sky Sports commentator Andy Gray's comments with The Sun's Page 3 ... both being parts of Murdoch's business.

According to http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/organgrinder/2010/dec/30/murdoch-to-control-22percent it is the BBC that has more control over the British media (39%) than anything that Murdoch does (22%), yet Mr Vine - again - chooses to hold the BBC as sacrosanct and immune from any criticism.

Mr Vine has made no mention of anybody from the Murdoch organisation contributing to the show to put their side of the argument.

My primary complaint is that this is yet another opportunity for Mr Vine to berate Mr Murdoch for his involvement in the media.

My secondary complaint is that discussion of Murdoch's involvement in the media smacks of too much self-interest by Mr Vine and his programme makers.



Another complaint lodged on the BBC web site about 28th February programme:

Web page http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00yrrld says: "Paddy discusses the speed limit on the motorway, whether people should be allowed to have air rifles, the increase in foreign aid budget and wild horses in Bridgend.".

This programme did not contain a discussion about wild horses in Bridgend but instead discussed drunks in Scottish hospitals.

I have brought this to the attention of the Jeremy Vine show staff on four separate occasions, yet their error has not been corrected.

I consider factual accuracy to be the cornerstone of news reporting so my complaint is that a supposedly credible news programme has failed to keep its own house in order by failing to correct a factual error, despite several requests to do so.




UPDATE 04/03/11:

I had a message from a friend today to tell me that George Galloway appeared on the 3rd March programme in the BSkyB/Murdoch discussion. A quick check of iPlayer showed that this was true. I am, as usual, at a loss as to what value is contribution made to the programme.

Today's show 23/02/11

Today's show has started and your website still says its Tuesday. Is it really that difficult to update it on time?

Doctor & The Medics recorded a song called "I Keep Thinking Its Tuesday". Perhaps you should include it in the show today.

You could also make a new jingle: "The Jeremy Vine Show - leading the way by not knowing what day of the week it is". Feel free to use it with my blessing - no charge!

You are absolutely hopeless and it annoys me that I have no choice but to pay for this poor service. How am I meant to write my daily diatribe without you giving me some ammunition?

And finally, at 12:06 the web page is finally updated, so on to today's irrelevance...

1) Skipping Meals - Have you ever skipped a meal so that your children could eat? : What children are those then? We don't have any. Next...

2) Libya - Should we rescue Brits working there? : I've never been to Libya, I'm not likely to go, and I don't know anybody in Libya so am I supposed to have an opinion on this? Needless to say I don't, but no doubt you will try and implant one in to my mind. For that reason, I will not be listening. Next...

3) Food Allergies - You think your child has one, but NHS doesn't? : I refer you to my first comment above. Next...

4) TV Adverts - Do you prefer them to the programmes? : Is this news? We have this wonderful device called Sky+. It is ingenious and Mr Murdoch has done a fine job of producing something that the BBC could not be bothered to attempt. By recording everything we want to watch and fast-forwarding (30 times normal speed) through the adverts we don't have to watch them. Reading the Telegraph's story I suspect that this will turn in to another attack on non-BBC broadcaster, so I will mark it as such.

Interesting that your last item today has a link to the Daily Telegraph's web site. I saw a story about the Daily Telegraph earlier (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/02/22/daily_telegraph_metering/) that suggests that the Telegraph will start charging for use of its on-line news from September. It is not the first member of the Dead Tree Press Preservation Society to do this, and I believe that The Times and the Financial Times have already hidden their sites behind a so-called Pay Wall. It raises the question in my mind as to what you will do if any other newspapers go this way, and in particular the (appropriate for your show) non-quality titles such as the Daily Mail that you refer to so frequently. What will you do? Oh, I know.... you'll just link to BBC pages instead. Nothing like an easy way out, is there? And there is nothing like professional journalism, and the Jeremy Vine Show is nothing like professional journalism.

April 4th cannot come soon enough!

Today's show 15/02/11

1) Elderly - The NHS is being criticised for treating elderly patients with callous indifference. We ask: were you ever forced to intervene with your elderly relative’s hospital care? : That link does not work, it says "404 - Page Not Found". I think the link should be http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12464831 - a good job I check these things, eh? The important sentence is the very first one on that page: "The NHS is failing to treat elderly patients in England with care, dignity and respect, an official report says.". Hmmm... England, not Wales. Next...

 

2) Prime Minister - How much does he actually earn? : I have no idea, but the page from The Independent that you link to says: "When the new Prime Minister took office two months later, it was at a reduced salary of £142,500.", so that is presumably the answer to your question. If this isn't accurate enough for you then why are you "trying to work out the value of the complete package" when a Freedom of Information request would probably tell you exactly what the PM earns. But then asking the right person the right question doesn't allow you to sensationalise the figures and disguise fake investigative journalism. Anyway, is this any of my business? Why do you think that I should have any feelings at all about this? And while we're on the subject, how much do you earn? As I pay part of your salary I think I should be told. Next...

 

3) Big Fat Gypsy Wedding - An accurate portrayal? : I've never been to a gypsy wedding, and I've never watched the programme, so how am I expected to have an opinion? A nagging feeling at the back of my mind tells me that you are going to tell me what to think, which I object to strongly. Or is this a thinly-veiled attempt to simply have-a-go at Channel 4? Next...

 

4) Burglar Alarm - Has one made your life miserable? : Seriously, where would your programme be without the Daily Mail? Do you have to pay them to use their stories? I use the word stories, rather than news because I feel it to be a more accurate description of the drivel that they write every day. Anyway, the answer to your question is "No".

 

You just played the Madonna jingle where she says "When I want to listen to great music and hear the latest news I tune in to the Jeremy Vine Show". Does she really do that? How often? What about when she is not in the UK? Or is this just pure fantasy?

 

33 JV SHOWS TO GO!

Today's show 28/01/11

1) Egypt Unrest - Egypt appears to be on the verge of a people’s revolution. Do you have a connection with Egypt? : No. Next...

2) Heating Oil Thefts - Have shot up in rural areas : Do you think that the residents of rural communities will thank you for planting this idea in to the minds of thieves? Some may never have even thought of it before, and are currently planning their weekend activities. Next...

3) Babies - Did you have yours early or late? : We've never had one. Next...

4) Re-enactments - Man killed in jousting accident : Hmmm... tragic that this is, what you really mean is "Man killed while enjoying his hobby" but that lacks the "let's make fun of the Sealed Knot" factor. Would you have been discussing this if he had been driving a racing car, mountaineering or hang-gliding? Thought not. There is, of course, an opportunity to try and blame Channel 4 for this accident...

Have a great weekend!

UPDATE 1:

What is this? A Master Class in how to steal heating oil? So far your show has told us what the tanks look like, how to find them, their usual location, the tools needed to do the job, the best time to strike and several methods of how to do it.

Somebody somewhere is taking copious notes.

UPDATE 2:

Did you do ANY research for that item at all? It certainly didn't sound like it, and your complete lack of interest towards the end was very evident. THIS, Jeremy, is why I do not normally listen to your show. It is utter garbage.


Complaint lodged on BBC web site:

Mr Vine discussed the spate of thefts from domestic central heating oil storage tanks today. During the discussion I learnt:
 - How to identify an oil storage tank
 - Where they are usually sited
 - How to determine which properties have them
 - When best to steal
 - Which tools I need
 - Hazards to avoid
 - Where to dispose of stolen oil

Ignoring Mr Vine's apparent lack of any research in to the subject matter, and his very obvious disinterest in the topic (preferring to talk about a tennis match in the middle of it), my complaint is that he has provided all of the information a thief would need to go out and steal heating oil this weekend. I consider this to be irresponsible in the extreme.

If he wanted to discuss this topic (and he clearly did not) then the discussion should have been limited to facts that were of little or no use to the criminal fraternity.

Today's show 25/01/11

My timing is a bit better today...

Your second day back and your web page (http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio2/shows/jeremy-vine/) still says "Paddy O'Connell sits in for Jeremy all this week" below the pictures of the pre-fabs, which are soooo old news now. I'll leave you to kick the backside or fire whoever is supposed to take responsibility for this. In the meantime, I shall take smug satisfaction that a so-called news programme cannot even get the facts right about its own show. What hope is there for any real news story, eh? Sloppy, sloppy, sloppy, and typical.

1) Economic Growth - Economic growth has unexpectedly declined by 0.5%, but we speak to someone who says their factory is booming : Sorry, I have far too much work in my own business to find time to listen to this. Next...

2) Dementia - When did you realise you couldn't cope? : I am fortunate that I don't have dementia, so this is of no interest to me. Next...

3) Lineswomen Row - 2 commentators suspended : You never miss an opportunity to "have a go" at another broadcaster, do you? Anyway, it is only sport so who cares? I don't! As it was in the Daily Mail you will have seen Peter Sissons' comments concerning his time at the BBC (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1349506/Left-wing-bias-Its-written-BBCs-DNA-says-Peter-Sissons.html). Should I be surprised that you are conveniently ignoring his accusations of BBC bias? I thought not, as it is not as much fun as mud-slinging at another broadcaster, is it? Next...

4) Swimming Pool - Could be heated by crematorium : Is this news? It is due to be debated on 7th February, so hasn't even got past the initial approval needed. Zzzzzz....

Today's show 06/01/11

1) Ed Miliband : A car pulled up outside Radio 2's studios earlier and nobody got out. His name was Ed Miliband. He stated earlier this week that the "VAT rise will hit families". Is the Bleedin' Obvious his specialist subject? He should fit well in to your show. Next...

2) ITV Criticise Police During Murder Enquiry : Oh good. Another opportunity for you to berate another broadcaster, yet the BBC is always Whiter Than White in whatever it does. Today the BBC is subject of controversy again with its cot death storyline in EastEnders with nearly 6000 complaints received, but that has been conveniently ignored by your show. Ref: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-12126454   Phil Hughes (Programmes Editor) wrote to me on 16th December and said, "I can assure you Jeremy has no agenda to attack other broadcasters and we have previously discussed BBC issues on the programme, for example executive pay, the FIFA controversy, the proposed closure of 6 Music etc.". To refresh your memory, the executive pay issue was not discussed on the day that the story hit the headlines and you waited until the heat had subsided, and the FIFA controversy was nothing more than a massive plug for Panorama hosted by We-Know-Who. Next...

3) Dead birds in Sweden : Tragic, but does it fall in to the "worthy of national debate" category that your staff have told me is necessary for a story to be discussed. I think not. Next...

How about discussing the fact, apparently, that more people watched EastEnders (10 million, according to R2's 08:00 news) than buy a newspaper?

UPDATE:

At the end of the show Jeremy mentioned that Martin Lewis (Money Saving Expert) would be a guest on Friday's show, and asked for questions to be emailed in. I sent this:

Martin, I have the utmost respect for you and what you do, and have often consulted your web site for the very useful advice that it contains. Why then do you devalue your credibility and reputation by appearing on the Jeremy Vine Show?

This prompted a reply from JV: "Tony, you never disappoint! Jeremy".

Yay!