12/04/12 and 13/04/12

I just had to go out in the car and had the radio on and listened to your show for a short while before re-tuning. Bloomin' heck, that "Dangerous Age" song by Smiling Paul Weller is dreadful. But then he hasn't written a decent song since "Down In A Tube Station At Midnight" in 1978. Can you tell that, unlike yourself, I'm not a fan?

Anyway, let's deal with yesterday's show first...

1) TINNITUS - A man stabs himself to death while waiting to get treatment for tinnitus. Find out more in this article from the Daily Mail : I'm not sure what to say about this, other than how awful. I've been to many, many gigs in my time and occasionally come away with a bit of a "whistle", but it usually has gone by the next morning. My wife has been known to wear earplugs at such events, and finds that it can actually add to her enjoyment. Next...

2) ARSON - A rioter is jailed for eleven and a half years for starting a fire which destroyed an iconic furniture store that had been run by the same family for five generations. Did arsonists destroy your family firm? : I don't have a family firm, it is just me! Next...

3) BLIND AUTHOR - A police force uses forensic techniques to recover a novel which was being written by a blind woman whose pen had run out. Find out more in this article from the Telegraph : This is one of those stories that can make you feel good about the world in which we live, but other than giving due praise to the police I am left puzzled as to what there was to discuss yesterday. I learnt all I needed to know about this from R2's news bulletins. Next...

4) CHARITIES - Are rich philanthropists dodging tax by giving money to charity? : Not being a millionaire myself, and not having access to the government's taxation records, I have no idea what the answer to this question might be. What do you do?

Blimey, what a selection. I'm glad I missed that one. Is it any better today?

1) BURMA - David Cameron becomes the first British prime minister in more than sixty years to visit Burma. If you have connections with the country, do you welcome his trip? : I have no connections to Burma. Next...

2) FLAT HEAD SYNDROME - If your baby has so-called flat head syndrome, do you allow them to grow out of it or put a crash helmet on them to reshape the skull? : I've just checked and we still don't have any children. Somebody I know has a Harley-Davidson Flat Head motorbike (http://www.flathead-bobbers.com/flathead_1942/images-hd0219/1942_Harley_Flathead_WLA_Bobber_468x322.jpg) and he wears a crash helmet. Does that count? Next...

3) EYE-GOUGING - A man who blinded his girlfriend by gouging her eyes has admitted causing grievous bodily harm with intent : Again, how awful. Next...

 

4) TITANIC - Why did the Titanic sink so fast? We speak to an expert on the science and engineering of the ill-fated vessel : Oh good, an expert. And science and engineering too ... how will you cope? It is 13:13 as I am writing this and you haven't done this item yet, so here are some questions for your expert:

 

 - Comparing the platework and port hole layouts for RMS Olympic and RMS Titanic shows they were quite different when being built but, strangely, one seemed to become the other before Titanic left Belfast. How does your expert explain this?

 

 - RMS Olympic was involved in a major collision with HMS Hawke in the Solent that caused so much damage that it destroyed the hull ribs and the keel, causing it to be only operable on one (out of three) engines as it limped back to Belfast for repairs. Harland & Wolff patched it up, but it was never going to be good as new again, and it was made worse by White Star's insurance failing to pay out. With Olympic out of service, Titanic still under construction and no insurance money White Star was losing a LOT of money. What is your expert's view of the possibility that the two ships were swapped and an accident was staged that would cause one ship to be lost, and so guaranteeing an insurance payout?

 

 - Can your expert explain why the sea trials of the ship called Titanic (formerly the damaged and repaired Olympic after the swap) were nowhere near as comprehensive as they should have been, and would that reduction in trials be caused by it having a weakened hull?

 

 - What is your expert's view that the staging of the "accident" went horribly wrong and resulted in the huge loss of life?

 

 - How does your expert explain how The Californian (nearest ship to Titanic when it sank and also owned by White Star) had been laid up for weeks waiting for coal (caused by a miners strike), but suddenly it was coaled, left port in a hurry with a cargo of blankets and warm clothing, sped across the Atlantic - and stopped, as though it was waiting for something.

 

 - What is your expert's view on why the sinking of the Titanic is well-known, yet 1415 people died on HMS Hood and with only THREE survivors but few people know about that. Similarly, during the sinking of the Wilhelm Gustloff (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MV_Wilhelm_Gustloff) over NINE THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED men, women and children lost their lives, and that event too is not commonly known.

 

I think I'll listen to this, just to see how wrong you get it!

 

No surprise that you didn't use any of my questions, but Mike from Essex was good. He'd seen a TV programme about the sinking, but seemed to have forgotten all about it. Quality radio!

 

The Jeremy Vine Show - starting your weekend with a story about death