Today's show 04/03/11

I've been hearing a trail for your show all over Radio 2 this week. Let's have a look at what it says....

"Jeremy Vine back ..." : OK, that bit is true.

"... discussing the issues that affect you" : Errr..., no they don't. So, that's conjecture and speculation on your part.

"Back, with analysis..." : I'll do my own, thanks, as I don't trust what you tell me at all.

"... and opinion" : Including your own opinion, of course, but why should I care what other people think? I have my opinions too, but I like to treat others how I wish to be treated myself so I don't try and ram them down other's throats. I make an exception for you, of course.

"Back, with your views..." : Isn't a view the same as an opinion?

"... and experiences" : Great. Zzzzzzzz......

So, that one trail contains conjecture, speculation, poor research and repetition, which are all hall-marks of the Jeremy Vine Show. I'm not sure whether to congratulate you, or not.

On to today's menu...

1) Barnsley By-Election - The Liberal Democrats slump into sixth place as Labour wins a by-election in Barnsley. Should the Lib Dems be worried that the price of being in power is too high? : And STILL no mention of the referendum in Wales yesterday. There are about 220,000 people living in Barnsley (http://www.barnsley.gov.uk/mid-year-population-estimates) and 3 million in Wales. You have some really odd priorities! Next...

2) Jacqui Smith and porn - We talk to the former home secretary Jacqui Smith about porn : I am not a wanker so this is of no interest to me. Anyway, it is really just a trail for a Radio 5 show, isn't it? Next...

3) Car Insurance - Does your car insurance cost more than the car? : Web site FAIL! The link points to the Jacqui Smith story. I really do get the impression that nobody checks this stuff, and that nobody cares. It all just continues to lower my opinion of your programme. Anyway, I've just renewed my car insurance. It cost £190 but I got £70 cash back by using various Martin Lewis-recommended web sites, so £120 in all. This means that the answer to your question is "No". Would you like me to call in and tell you that? Next...

4) Pet obesity - We discuss pet obesity. Jeremy's looking for pictures of your overweight pets - click the link below to see the best photos we’ve received so far : This is what you get if you feed your pet the equivalent of fast food every day. We have three cats all of which are in excellent health and not overweight, despite food being available for them 24 hours a day. The reason is simple: Their food is of the best quality we can get (at least 60% meat, with no sugar or cereal). Funnily enough, the same results will be seen with human animals too. As for the pictures on your web site, I can only assume that you have posted them there so we can all "have a laugh" at them. Well, I'm not laughing. The respective owners are abusing their animals and do not deserve to keep them.

Now, this opens up an opportunity for you:

 - You can have a jolly good chuckle at the pictures and express your usual mock and insincere outrage about what is happening, OR

 - You could start a campaign supported by your celebrity (-ish) status and covered regularly on your Radio 2 show to educate pet owners about their animals nutrition.

So, are you going to bite the bullet and ACTUALLY MAKE A DIFFERENCE, or are you going to take the lazy, cop-out, do nothing option?

Only you can decide ... but if I were a betting man I'd lay £1000 on you doing nothing, as usual.

Go on, just for once, please prove me wrong. Please.